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Sustain
Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Another week passed there in the bunker, and it was now May. At least it would have been if the world was still one in which things like that even mattered anymore. Though the two made a mutual decision to keep the clocks set and keep crossing the days off the calendar if for no other reason than being able to hold onto some small semblance of normality.

In that week, Aura had managed to rein in her urge to constantly dissect and analyze and theory craft the hell out of the things that made no sense. Even if the faraway look Adan often caught her wearing made it obvious that that was still all she was ever doing inside her own head, every moment.

Also, in that week they had not yet made love again. They had shared a few more kisses and held each other at night, but the lovemaking was something neither of them had decided to press for again just yet. There was a sort of unspoken understanding that it would just be strange to do that a second time when there was still one of them who didn’t fully remember the first. And choosing to wait until he somehow got those memories back, if he ever did, seemed a prudent decision to them for the time being.

There was yet another unspoken reason why that level of intimacy hadn’t returned yet either. At least for the one of them who remembered their first time together. Remembering that night also led to Aura remembering that it was the riskiest thing she had ever allowed herself to do. Especially in this world. She was already petrified of the idea of ever having a child, even before this had become their life. And if that were to happen now, when the two of them were here in this place, alone, no doctors, no way to properly raise a child, even if they had wanted to? She shook her head to chase away those thoughts. That was a mental spiral she couldn’t succumb to if she ever hoped to be able to keep pretending she wasn’t one crack away from shattering into a million pieces every moment.

They had just finished their late night dinner in the living room and Aura had given him a little kiss before leaving the room and padding down the hall toward the bedroom. He allowed a little smile as his eyes followed her from the room before he turned to begin gathering up the remnants of their meal and turn off the television once more.

Only, when he turned back to the glass doors, he stopped in his tracks, nearly dropping the plates and dishes as he did. There, just inside the doors, he was standing, looking at Adan warily. In that moment, Adan felt enough panic to match Aura’s on any given day.

“Who, in the fuck...” Adan began breathlessly, with a greeting that nearly matched Aura’s when he had revealed himself to her a week earlier. Not that she remembered the encounter now.

“Adan” he began, the use of the other man’s name only causing another wave of distrust to appear. “I’m not here to hurt either of you. I just needed to know that neither of you would try to hurt me either.”

“Jury’s still out on that one” Adan replied, trying to sound imposing, but afraid to take his eyes off the other man for even a moment as he warily set the plates and dishes back on the coffee table. “Now who the hell are you, and how are you even in here at all?”

The other man almost smiled, but couldn’t quite manage it. “At first I thought you may have been a bigger danger. But you’re the much calmer one, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, thanks, but still not an answer to my goddamn question” Adan bit back impatiently.

Taking another breath, the stranger decided that if this were ever going to work, memories needed to return and something called trust would have to be built. So he attempted to give Adan the same explanation he had already given Aura.

After hearing the story, Adan thought on the other man’s explanation, attempting to determine how likely it was that it actually was the truth. He wanted to call to Aura, to let her know of this man’s presence too. But on the off chance that the man wasn’t trustworthy after all, endangering her would not be a wise plan either.

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“So, you and your crazy military survivalist dad could have always gotten into this bunker too? It wasn’t just Aura’s family?”

“He’s the one who convinced them to buy it” the man confirmed, watching Adan’s dark eyes with his own which looked so strikingly similar.

Adan took a breath, still studying the other man warily. “I’ve known Aura a long time. Have you and I actually met? Like when we were kids or something? Cause you seem really fuckin familiar. Really strange, but really fucking familiar” he repeated, his volume dropping again as he moved his eyes over the other man once more.

“Possibly” was the only answer he gave Adan.

“OK Mr. Creepy, do you have an actual name, or will that one do?”

The other man paused a moment before answering, “Ilian” he offered.

“You sure? You seemed like you had to think about it a minute” Adan retorted, distrust still apparent.

“She panics. You use humor and sarcasm” Ilian responded, as if taking mental notes out loud.

“Yeah, thanks” Adan returned in the same biting tone. “So, I guess you’ve just been in here with us hiding and eavesdropping for over a week? Not really that great of a play if you want people to trust you, Ilian. Just sayin.”

“Sorry. Like I said, I needed to know the two of you were safe too.”

“Whatever” Adan scoffed. “It all sounds pretty fuckin sketch and so fucking creepy, man!” Adan shook his head. “I mean were you watching us too? I mean even when we...” Adan just looked down, stopping himself from finishing that sentence.

On the reminder of the night that was stolen from Adan’s memory, Ilian looked down a moment. He then took a wary step closer, slowly moving his hand toward Adan’s face.

“OK, bud, you're getting a little handsy for having just met me” Adan warned as he took a step back, watching Ilian with another suspicious look.

“Just, please” Ilian said softly as he more slowly raised his hand again.

A moment later, Adan staggered a bit as he was suddenly deluged with the memories he had been missing. He took another moment to catch his breath as he gave Ilian another wary look. “You were the shadow I saw that night.”

“And I didn’t mean to frighten either of you. I didn’t even want either of you to know I was here yet” Ilian admitted.

“I need to go talk to Aura” Adan said, still a little shaken by the sudden return of his memories, let alone everything else he was dealing with in that moment. “But where the hell have you even been hiding this whole time?”

“The garden, mostly” Ilian offered. “You two rarely go in there.”

“You got stuff in there?” Adan asked, still watching him carefully.

“Stuff?”

“You know, like a pillow, blanket, toothbrush, anything?”

“Some things” Ilian offered after a moment.

“Well, may as well go get them. I might be able to convince her to let you stay in the other bedroom, like a normal person” Adan stated, though his tone remained wary. “And that means you gotta stop bein so fuckin creepy by the way. Think you can manage that?”

After taking a moment to take in all of Adan’s hurriedly spoken words, he replied, “I can try, I suppose.”

“Good plan” Adan stated with obvious sarcasm. “Now, go get your stuff.”

Ilian simply nodded, gave Adan another hesitant look of his own, then left the room to head back in the direction of the gardens. The moment Ilian left the room though, Adan turned in the opposite direction, toward the heavy steel doors that led to the entry corridor, and the glass cases, and the weapons.

When Adan returned to the bedroom, he took pause as he stepped through the door. Aura was leaning over the bed, spreading a light blanket over it. And she was only wearing a long t-shirt as she did. And now that he had just gotten his memory back, that was almost an impossible fact for him to ignore right then.

“Um, so” he swallowed as he took another step into the room, causing her to turn to look at him, while self consciously pulling the shirt down further around the pale skin of her hips. “I figured something out tonight. A few things really, but...” he struggled through his explanation, his hands nervously trailing over the handles of the two guns that were now tucked into the back of his pants, his own long t-shirt pulled down over them.

“OK...” she responded warily. His nervousness was obvious, and considering how rare it was for him to act nervous, that just made her more nervous then as well.

“I know what the shadow was” he began hesitantly.

“You remember it now?” she asked hopefully again.

“Yeah, that too” Adan confirmed softly.

“So you remember all the rest of the night too now?” she continued as she took a step toward him.

“Yeah, I do, which I’m really happy about, but the shadow; it was actually---”

Then her eyes flew to the doorway behind Adan. And suddenly she was hit by a flood of missing memories too, “Colonel Reese’s son...” she whispered, causing Adan to turn quickly around to see Ilian standing in the hall outside the bedroom again, seeming pretty nervous himself right then.