Character Index
Chuluo: The Khagan of the Eastern Turkic Khaganate. Ashina's father.
Kulun: A tarkhan who serves Chuluo, he is in charge of the spy network in the Wu dynasty.
Ashina: Personal name is Ibilga, a princess of the Eastern Turkic Khaganate, in a political marriage with Kayla.
Shegui: Khagan of the Western Turkic Khaganate. Currently relegated to a puppet ruler during his period of illness.
Zhou Hong and Zhou Yong: The First and Second Princes, deposed after their mother's clan fell into ruin. They were mysteriously murdered.
Zhou Kuang: The Third Prince, one of the primary contenders for the throne.
Zhou Yunqi: The Fifth Prince, supporter of Kuang.
Empress Gongsun: The former Empress, she was deposed after her maternal clan became a threat to the Emperor's power.
Qiu Jinwei: Yunqi's strategist, an eccentric but brilliant man.
Sir Yang: An eunuch who has faithfully served the Emperor for many years.
Qiu Yun: Kayla's personal servant, a plain-looking but good-natured girl.
Liang Hongfei/Hu Qing: Lord of the Liang clan and a Vice-Censor of the Office of Censure. Kayla's friend and supporter.
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Chuluo Khagan listened to his ambassador’s report with a stony face. The death of the First and Second Princes, though they were no longer princes, had resulted in a great upset within the Wu court, resulting in Zhao Wenyuan's hasty departure from the palace. Already, rumors ran amok about the Emperor's outburst and the young Duke's precarious position.
“So exactly what is the position of my son-in-law right now?” He demanded.
“That–I’m afraid I don’t know, my liege,” the ambassador replied apologetically.
Chuluo cast a glance at Kulun, who also shook his head regretfully.
The Khagan’s eyes narrowed.
“Prepare to extract my daughter. If anything happens, I want her returned to me unharmed.”
“We will ensure Her Highness’ safety at all costs!” The ambassador promised.
“Good. Report to me on any new developments,” Chuluo ordered.
The ambassador bowed his head, and Chuluo ended the call.
“What a pity. It seems that my son-in-law may not be as useful as I had hoped after all,” Chuluo muttered.
“The situation may yet change,” Kulun offered quietly.
Chuluo slowly let out a deep breath. “Perhaps.”
He thought back to the young man’s polite but fearless demeanor from their last meeting.
“He may yet turn things around,” Chuluo said thoughtfully. “How close did you say his relationship with the Emperor was?”
“Very close, my liege. If anything, he seemed more like the Emperor's beloved son than any of the princes did,” Kulun replied. “But the Wu Emperor is known to hate as deeply as he loves, as seen with his brothers, his sons, and his wives.”
“Then do you think my son-in-law will emerge from this for the better or for the worse?” Chuluo asked.
Kulun bowed his head. “It’s hard to say, my liege.”
Chuluo gave a small nod. “We’ll have to make multiple preparations. I refuse to marry my daughter to a prince who is on the verge of ruin, or to a weakling who has no mind for politics. It will only cause us more grief in the long run. The alliance will have to carry on without a son-in-law on our end.”
“I’ll prepare for negotiations,” Kulun replied, bowing as he took his leave.
Chuluo’s eyes flicked to the flames as they lapped at the kindling in the hearth. Great upheaval lay in every potential path before him. He did not fear challenges. But the path that he was to take, that he would lead his people onto, that was not a choice to be made lightly.
Perhaps it was for the best that his son-in-law fell from grace. The young man was cooperative enough, but Chuluo had a strange premonition that Zhao Wenyuan would be no small source of trouble to him in the future. But at the present, the Duke was key to upholding the alliance and in gaining reinforcements from the Wu.
Should I help him then? Chuluo languidly considered the option before dismissing it. This was not the right time to use the card he held in reserve–that was much too precious to waste on a familial dispute within the Wu palace, where emotions were the volatile and reigning power. It would be up to his son-in-law then, whether Zhao Wenyuan managed to save himself or not.
His thoughts turned to alternatives and war. When they finally returned to his unfortunate son-in-law again, it was to a new report from his ambassador, who apologized profusely for disturbing the Khagan’s rest.
“My liege, Zhao Wenyuan was summoned to the Inner Palace,” the man reported, visibly nervous.
“Not an arrest,” Chuluo said thoughtfully.
“No, my liege.”
“Very good.”
By morning, the ambassador had good news. No punishments had been handed out, and a eunuch from the palace had gone to the Zhao household to assure them that all was well.
“How is my daughter?” Chuluo asked.
“The princess is safe and sound, though she has refused any visitors at this time. Some members of the Zhao clan have made their way there, but she’s keeping them in the Outer Courtyard and denying them further access to the household,” the ambassador reported.
Chuluo’s lips twitched in amusement.
“Hmm. Continue to monitor the situation, but call off any plans for an extraction,” Chuluo ordered.
“Are you sure, my liege? The Wu Emperor might yet change his mind,” the ambassador said worriedly.
“No, it is fine,” Chuluo declared.
“Then I will do as you wish, my liege,” the ambassador replied.
Chuluo waved him away.
It seems my son-in-law will be useful for a while yet. He offhandedly considered killing Wenyuan after the war with Shegui was over. We shall see. Is he more useful than he is dangerous? Or the other way around? That will decide his fate.
That, and how the war would go.
Smiling to himself, Chuluo turned his mind back to the western borders.
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The mood at the Third Prince’s household was somber. After sending out a few orders to keep his men in line, Kuang had sunk into grief.
Both Kuang and Yunqi had been old enough to know and love their older brothers. Their mothers didn’t get along with the jealousy-prone Empress. No one’s mother did. The Royal Consort had actually gotten off easy, for the first child to be born to a woman other than the Empress had been the First Princess, and the screaming fit that followed was the stuff of countless horror stories.
But by the time Kuang had come along, the Empress had settled down into seething. And happy to have a little brother they could play with, since going near their sister would set the Empress into bursts of unhappy tears. Zhou Hong and Zhou Yong had loved Kuang. They were coddled and at the top of the hierarchy, so of course they were thoughtless and arrogant half the time. But it was more an ingrained sensibility rather than some fault of character. Kuang had understood that, and he hadn’t minded.
Yunqi had known less of his two eldest brothers, being too small to make a good playmate. But Zhou Hong and Zhou Yong were tickled at how Kuang hauled the tiny prince around, and constantly plied Yunqi with sweets or poked at his cheeks. The princes didn’t know it, but Yunqi never ate any of the sweets he had shyly tucked into his robes–his paranoid mother had destroyed all of them and ordered Yunqi to never eat or drink anything that other people gave him.
Privately, each of the princes were told the same by their own mothers. Those had been turbulent years, as the atmosphere in the palace got worse and worse as its master and mistress fell apart. Kuang had some inkling of what was going on, but Yunqi had yet been too small, only absorbing the fear that clogged up the air, even as the sky stretched endlessly above them.
Yunqi quietly entered the room, having finished dealing with another batch of Kuang’s supporters.
“I’ve sent them away with instructions to stay still for the time being,” Yunqi said. “Qiu Jinwei says that if there’s no news by tonight, we should start appealing for a state funeral for First and Second Brother.”
“We can do it now,” Kuang said quietly. “If Wenyuan hasn’t left the palace for this long, then it’s certainly not because Father’s still angry with him.”
It was a risky move, appealing for a state funeral for two deposed princes. But the Emperor had openly lashed out at Wenyuan for their deaths. He at least still cared that much about his sons. Kuang had no doubt that Wenyuan would find some way out of this untouched, but his brothers were gone for good, along with all the hopes and dreams he had pinned on them.
Yunqi understood without needing to be told anything. In truth, Yunqi could ill-afford the risk, but he would never deny Kuang this.
“If you wish, I’ll draft one for you.”
Kuang nodded. He reached out, taking Yunqi’s hand in his own.
“I can’t believe they were killed like that,” he said hollowly. He glanced up at Yunqi with teary eyes. “Do you remember how much they used to dote on us? I always thought I would see them again. I would have reinstated them!”
“I know,” Yunqi replied. He sat down next to Kuang, watching his brother with concern. “I’m sure that they would have been satisfied to know as much.”
Kuang shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now. What good is it to reinstate a dead man? I slipped out to send them off that day, do you remember? Grandmother forbade it, but I went anyway. First Brother hid his face from me and wept, but Second Brother kept waving back until they were out of sight. They were so young back then, what could they have possibly done to deserve such a harsh punishment? It was all cold-blooded politics, that’s all.”
Kuang swallowed past a lump in his throat.
“I followed their carriage for as long as I could, and when I came back, the palace suddenly looked so different to me. For so long it had seemed so large and imposing, but for the first time, I saw it, and it was just a worn-out palace. The walls were weathered. The buildings were garish. This palace, this throne, it’s just a symbol. A shimmering symbol of a power that has long slipped our grasp. Two princes were murdered, right within our borders! Not at the behest of the Emperor nor court of law, but murdered in cold blood, just like that. Yet we still–”
“Brother!” Yunqi grabbed his shoulder urgently.
“You must not think like that! You, of all people! Those ambitions you hold so dearly are worth more than your current despair, do not let one confound the other,” Yunqi pleaded. “First and Second Brother will be avenged, and you will reinstate them. You must. What else do we struggle for in this world, save for how we live and how we are remembered? You can no longer control the course of their lives, but there’s still things you can do for them. Do you think they would not want that?”
Kuang breathed in sharply. He patted Yunqi’s hand, but didn’t meet his brother’s gaze.
“Think of everyone who has staked their lives on you,” Yunqi said quietly, a small tremor in his voice. “If you lose heart, all of us will share the same fate.”
“I know,” Kuang replied.
The look in his eyes slowly hardened. “I know.”
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Kayla sat next to the Emperor, carefully timing her pace to match the Emperor’s as they finished the midday meal. It was a trick she’d learned early on in life–match their pace, and a grieving person will eat more than they would if you simply finished eating first.
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Sensing that the Emperor wasn’t going to eat anymore, she set down her own set of utensils, watching the Emperor concernedly without actually making it seem like she was watching him. A few servants appeared out of nowhere to clear away the meal and disappeared just as quickly.
The Emperor watched them exit the door before gesturing to the only remaining outsider. Sir Yang stepped forward, head bowed as he offered up a scroll with both hands. Kayla glanced at him quizzically but accepted it.
“Go on and open it,” the Emperor said. Kayla obeyed. A list of names unfurled before her.
“This is…” Kayla murmured, looking at the scroll of names in befuddlement.
“The officials who submitted impeachments against you,” the Emperor replied.
He heaved a sigh. The Emperor no longer looked as haggard as he did the night before, but he had aged several years within the space of hours. There was a bone-deep weariness to him that Kayla instinctively knew would be permanent. Her chest twisted painfully.
He had been good to her, and even when his judgment lapsed, he hadn’t hurt her. Kayla knew that things could have gone much worse if she had made even the tiniest mistake, and there was still space for things to sour yet. But she couldn’t help feeling grateful towards the Emperor.
Perhaps his kindness had been owed to Wenyuan after exchanging his sister’s future and overlooking his brother-in-law’s death for the Grand Duke’s support. But he hadn’t owed Kayla anything. His misplaced kindness was still that, kindness.
But a tiger is still that, a tiger. He can’t be anything else so long as he is Emperor. And no matter how much a tiger likes you, in the end, it still craves flesh.
Kayla lowered her eyes, suddenly glad that Wenyuan wasn’t here for any of this. Her own fondness for the Emperor was that of someone who had carefully maneuvered her way into the exact position she wanted to be in, half satisfaction and half gratitude. Wenyuan had loved and feared the Emperor in equal parts, but had seen him as a second father. If he had been the one to hear the Emperor’s accusations, he never would have been able to let go of them. He would have clutched the shards in his hands and let them cut into his fingers every time something went even slightly wrong until the wounds were too deep to be healed. She felt none of the same hurt, but it didn’t mean she was immune to the accompanying fear.
“Thank you, Uncle,” Kayla said quietly.
The Emperor patted her shoulder.
“I’m glad you’re here, Wenyuan,” the Emperor sighed. “You’re the only one I can trust not to bear selfish intentions. In the vastness of this palace…there’s no one I can confide in without fearing the weight of their desires. Not my wives, not my children. Only you, you and your mother…”
The Emperor’s eyes grew distant for a moment, perhaps thinking of some happier time, or at least a painless one.
“Thus is the price of this throne, Wenyuan.” The Emperor breathed in sharply, shaking himself out of some faraway scene.
“Do what you wish with that list,” the Emperor said, gesturing at the scroll. “It won’t do for you not to know who your enemies are.”
“Thank you, I’ll be sure to make good use of it.”
“I’m sure you will.” The Emperor said. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the couch. Kayla moved quickly to get a blanket for him.
The Emperor blinked in surprise as the fabric settled gently over his shoulders, looking taken aback for a moment before smiling. It occurred to Kayla that it may very be the first time in a very long while that someone from the Emperor’s family brought a blanket for him. Even if they had, the Emperor could only have viewed their actions with suspicion, wondering what they actually wanted for him.
It must be tiring to live like that, Kayla thought. Would it be like that for Kuang as well? Or would he be better off, having Yunqi to rely on?
She sat down next to the Emperor, the two settling into a comfortable stretch of silence.
Despite the Emperor’s earlier protests that Kayla needn’t stay, he was more than happy to keep her in the palace for the rest of the day. It wasn’t until after dinner that the Emperor gave her leave with great reluctance.
“He shouldn’t be alone right now,” Kayla said to Sir Yang concernedly on her way out. “Isn’t there some way you can convince him to keep someone on hand?”
“I don’t think having someone who irks him would be of any help,” Sir Yang admitted. “I will stay nearby, of course, but there is little I can do if he orders me out.”
“Are there no eunuchs or maids that he’s fond of?” Kayla pointed out. Sir Yang hesitated, and Kayla quelled in turn. To place a servant by the Emperor in his current state was to risk their life. The Emperor was stable enough when she’d left him, but who knew how his mood would turn within the hour?
“Well, you know best, and it certainly isn’t my place to intervene. Forgive me,” Kayla said, breaking the awkward silence.
“Not at all, Your Excellency. Your concern for His Majesty is truly touching,” Sir Yang replied smoothly.
“Thank you for your understanding. I’ll be off then.”
“Please go safely.” Sir Yang bowed as Kayla got into the carriage.
She was back in the same carriage she’d arrived in. Kayla kept the curtains shut against the waning dusk light. Certain that she was completely alone, her eyes shifted from earnestly concerned to a dark and calculative glint. The scroll of names in her robes rested comfortably against her rib cage, a small comfort to the boiling emotions inside of her.
Sympathy and concern for the Emperor aside, Kayla felt a bone deep fear that still chilled the cavity of her chest. It was easy for her to hide it, but not to quell it.
Can I rely on him not to change his mind? I can, can’t I? But what’s to say he’ll recover from this? What if, like so many others before him, he descends into instability and rage? The rage of a resentful father is uncomfortable, the rage of a resentful Emperor is deadly.
But so what if that were the case? The current Emperor was Kayla’s greatest protector, and from what she knew of him, he would take no more action against her for this matter. How much more carefully would she have to tread with Kuang, who lacked the same doting affection for her?
All my life with a blade at my throat. Her spinning mind flitted through the assassination attempts she’d survived, trying to assuage the howling fears inside. It didn’t work.
An assassin’s knife is different from the executioner’s blade, Kayla thought grimly. Then, I at least had hopes of being saved. I’ve gotten back into the Emperor’s good graces this time, but how close was I to the cliff’s edge?
If she really had fallen, who would have reached out to catch her? Her own supporters had too little sway to be of help. As for her stronger allies…
Kuang would never risk his career. And Wei Guang is valuable to me…but he’s too unreliable. Yet if I extend my reach too far, then the Emperor will withdraw his protection.
But who protects me from the Emperor?
This time, the next time, I may be able to get lucky, I may be able to maneuver my way out and land on my feet once or twice, but for how long must I live like this?
It was easy to cruise by on the Emperor’s favor if she were an idle noble. But she had so much to do–the wars, the natural disasters, the reforms, Kayla was racking up an enemy count that rivaled that of the Grand Duke’s.
I need an ally. A powerful one, more so just what I have on hand. One that I can actually rely on even if things go really wrong.
Her mind flitted to Ashina.
Ashina–Ibilga is my best choice. Even if our aims differ, the two of us need each other to survive.
Kayla schooled her face as the carriage slowed to a stop. The door opened, an Imperial Guard bowing respectfully before helping her out.
“Thank you for taking the trouble,” Kayla said to the escort guards.
“Not at all, please allow me to escort you inside,” the most senior guard bowed slightly. He had a small accent that was near indiscernible.
“I’d be grateful,” Kayla said. She was welcomed back with an immense amount of relief by the household, including several relatives from the Zhao clan who had flocked over in fear of being dragged down by Kayla’s failure. The presence of an Imperial carriage and an Imperial Guard escort dispelled those fears, though they kept their composure at Kayla’s icy smile in their direction.
The Imperial Guard politely excused himself without further ado. As soon as he’d turned away, Ashina rushed forward to pat Kayla down.
“Are you hurt? Are you alright?” Ashina demanded.
“I’m fine, my dear,” Kayla replied, gathering Ashina’s hands in her own with some difficulty as the princess tried to check the back of Kayla’s neck. “I’m fine, I promise. There’s nothing to see.”
“Thanks to His Majesty’s benevolence and magnanimity, it will all be alright,” Kayla announced to the courtyard full of servants, retainers, and relatives. “I thank you all for your concern at this time, and ask that you all continue to act with the utmost care and discretion in the following days.”
Ashina effectively cut off any questions from coming their way by dragging Kayla back to their shared quarters.
“You look exhausted,” Kayla said, taking in the dark circles beneath Ashina’s eyes.
“Of course, I was worried!” Ashina snapped. “Did you think I could sleep?”
“I’m sorry, Ibilga.”
“You were gone for a full day,” Ashina fretted. “An eunuch came to say things were fine, but I didn’t know what to believe.”
Kayla tentatively stepped closer before pulling Ashina into a hug, arms folding carefully around the princess.
“I’m sorry,” Kayla apologized again. “I didn’t think it was a good idea to leave until I was sure that things were settled. I didn’t think it would be safe to do that.”
She heaved a sigh, the rattling pieces of her body seeming to sink into place within the familiar rooms.
“Honestly, it scared me,” Kayla admitted. The princess returned the hug at the confession, tightly wrapping herself around Kayla.
“What happened?” Ashina asked.
“It’s a long story,” Kayla replied. “I’ll tell you some other time, I’m too tired right now.”
Ashina didn’t protest. She let go of Kayla as a servant entered with a soft knock to bring a water basin and a change of clothes, stepping aside to let Qiu Yun trail in and help Kayla with the robes. The moment they were done, Ashina sent all the servants out again. She watched as Kayla sipped at a cup of hot tea, relief finally settling in. It had been a tense day of waiting for the household, and likely for the entire court as well, hundreds of people waiting with bated breath, calculating and recalculating their plans as they awaited an outcome.
The moment of peace was interrupted by another knock.
“Please pardon the interruption, my lord. Lord Liang is in the study to see you,” Housekeeper Li announced, a small strain in her voice that suggested Hu Qing hadn’t arrived via carriage.
“I thought I said to refuse visitors,” Ashina said crossly. “The Duke needs to rest.”
“Yes, thank you, Ibilga. But it’s fine if it’s Lord Liang, I needed to speak with him anyways,” Kayla said. Ashina let out a huff but said nothing more.
Kayla gave her wife an affectionate smile before heading to the study.
“I do apologize for the sudden interruption, my lord,” Housekeeper Li said, sounding a little embarrassed.
“It’s fine. Did he roll off the roof again?”
“Yes.”
Kayla laughed, her shoulders feeling a little lighter. “You can leave us be, no need to send for tea."
Housekeeper Li bowed and stepped aside, letting Kayla pass her to the study.
“Hu Qing,” she called as she entered the room. With a flash, Hu Qing was right before her.
“Are you alright?! What happened with the Emperor? You said not to contact you so I didn’t–” Hu Qing’s voice was uncharacteristically frantic, matching the worried creases on his face.
“That look doesn’t suit you,” Kayla said.
Hu Qing blinked in surprise.
“Everything’s alright, for now, I suppose. We’re not in the clear yet,” Kayla admitted. “But I think we’ve made it out of the crisis. The Emperor is still on our side. He even gave me a list of names for people who submitted impeachments against me.”
Hu Qing breathed in sharply, and then Kayla was being crushed into a hug. She froze for a moment, then returned the gesture.
It couldn’t have been easy on him, or any of the others. They’ve all been with me through so much. Kayla felt a rush of emotion. Killing the Grand Duke, my arrest, and now the Emperor suddenly accusing me in person…I owe them more than I can ever repay.
She patted Hu Qing on the arm as he let go.
“It’s going to be fine,” Kayla promised.
“Did he really accuse you of being responsible?” Hu Qing asked.
“That’s over with.”
“I shouldn’t have suggested posting guards, or I should’ve insisted on it if I were going to suggest it,” Hu Qing said, his voice tinged with regret. “If this had gone wrong by even a little bit…”
“I won’t deny it, this was a close call, probably even closer than when I was arrested last time,” Kayla admitted. “But it has nothing to do with you.”
“It wasn’t fair of him to accuse you,” Hu Qing said darkly.
“I guess not. But he’s a grieving parent, it’s understandable for him to lash out,” Kayla said thoughtfully. “Even if it’s unreasonable, we just have to bear with it as subjects. We put up with it because we have to.”
A flash of anger seared through her veins. “It's just how it is, you know? You have to swallow your complaints, and you have to keep doing it for the rest of your life. That’s how you fucking survive as an official! Your whole world could be on fire and you’d have to find a way to make them smile about it, or you’re the one who–”
Kayla swallowed the sudden surge of complaints and sighed.
“But we’re already lucky enough to be this high up in the ladder. The guys at the bottom have to do all this and more, and have nothing to show for it. At least we have a chance to be rewarded for it,” she finished, regaining her composure.
She gave Hu Qing an apologetic look. “What a world I’ve dragged you into, huh?”
Hu Qing shook his head.
“I know that I don’t have the right words for this, and that I’m probably not the right person to say this in the first place,” Hu Qing said, his voice unusually thick with emotion. “But I know what it’s like to hope for something that may never come, without even knowing what it is I’m hoping for. But ever since we’ve met…I've no longer needed to cling to empty wishes. You gave me what I needed to fulfill them.”
Hu Qing seemed to struggle for words for a moment. “I can’t help you the same way, and I can’t solve problems of this scale just by stabbing a few people. But still, it was my choice. I wanted to walk this path with you, and I still do.”
He spoke earnestly but clumsily, looking so unlike his usual mischievous self that Kayla couldn’t help but stare at him.
I’m luckier than the Emperor, aren't I?
“Hu Qing, that…” Kayla shook her head, at a loss for how to respond. “Thank you.”
Warmth blossomed in her chest. She squeezed his shoulder with a genuine smile.
“I won’t forget this, Hu Qing.”
He smiled back, eyes glittering brightly. His body was tense, as though he had physically steeled himself to speak. Now, he relaxed, his unspoken fears escaping. A trace of amusement slithered back into his expression.
“Good,” Hu Qing said wryly. “I didn’t think you’d ever hit your head that hard.”
Kayla stifled a snort and burst into laughter.
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Cultural Notes
爱之深恨之切/As deep is the love, so strong is the hate: An Ancient Chinese proverb referring to said dynamic.
闭门谢客/To close the door and thank[fully refuse] guests: An Ancient Chinese proverb that means to politely turn away visitors.
伴君如伴虎/Accompanying a ruler is like accompanying a tiger: An Ancient Chinese proverb meaning that accompanying a ruler is a dangerous, unstable, and volatile task, just like accompanying a tiger. It may leave you be, or even lick your face, but you never know when it might turn to attack you.
私心/Selfish heart: A Chinese phrase, it means to hold selfish intentions/motivations in doing something.
闲散贵族/Idle noble: An Ancient Chinese phrase used to describe nobles and aristocrats who cruised by without really doing much good or harm. Often, they're rich, flighty, and patrons of art and material culture.