Character Index
Wei Guang: The Imperial Edict Bearer and Kayla's godfather. Has bad blood with the Empress Dowager.
Chen Caichun: Chamberlain of the Court of Judicial Review, a member of Kayla's faction.
Sun Ruhui: Left Secretariat of Justice. A member of Kayla's faction.
Liang Shen: Minister of Justice and former Lord of Liang. A member of Xianchun's faction.
Zhang Dingyong: Right Secretariat of Justice. A member of Kuang's faction.
Hu Qing/Liang Hongfei: Lord of the Liang clan and Kayla's right-hand man. Newly reinstated after years living as an illegitimate bastard.
Housekeeper Li: Formerly Matron Li, Kayla's loyal servant.
Zhao Chao: One of Kayla's guards/retainers. Originally brought on by Hu Qing.
Sir Yang: A senior eunuch who serves the Empress Dowager. Despite his reluctance, he was dragged back from early retirement to serve the Empress Dowager in her conflict with Kayla/Wenyuan.
Zhou Yunqi: The Fifth Prince. He is currently inactive from politics but is a member of the Third Prince's faction. His maternal clan is in desperate straits and he himself is left in a precarious position. His late wife was from a prominent clan but died of "illness" abruptly a few months into their marriage, likely as part of a larger plan to remove Yunqi's maternal clan from power.
Qiu Jinwei: Zhou Yunqi's brilliant but extremely eccentric tactician.
Wise Consort: Zhou Yunqi's mother. Suffering from ill health due to the plight of her clan and as a result of her husband's cold indifference towards her wellbeing.
Zhou Kuang: The Third Prince and one of the major contenders for the throne.
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Kayla leaned back in her seat, exhausted to the core. Despite the rush of satisfaction she felt when things went her way, the rest of the time she felt even more worn out than before, when the Grand Duke had still been alive. After her call with Zhao Wei last night, her idea of trying to toss Wei Guang at the Empress Dowager had been shot down with vehement opposition by Chen Caichun and Sun Ruhui. Both of them seemed to think that that was going too far, especially after a series of aggressive power grabs.
Which was fair. But that left Kayla with pretty much no other option than to grovel and give in to all of the Empress Dowager’s demands. And despite all that, she still had the investigation to handle during the day.
It’s no different in this era or the modern world, the sky could be falling down and you’d still have to go to work the next day.
After a day that seemed to drag on even longer than usual, Kayla had returned to the Zhao clan no closer to a solution than before.
I really might have to beg the Empress Dowager, Kayla realized. The thought raised an instinctive surge of angry defiance in her chest. What’s the worst case scenario? What’s the bottom line for concessions?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the communication device showing a new call from Sun Ruhui. Kayla answered it eagerly, hope lighting up her face.
“Left Secretariat,” Kayla greeted him. Sun Ruhui’s face was slightly creased with concern as he politely gave his greetings.
“My lord, I apologize for disturbing you.”
Kayla’s heart fell, realizing that he didn’t have good news after all.
“Not at all, you couldn’t have called at a better time. What did you wish to speak about?”
Sun Ruhui hesitated slightly before speaking. “I wished to warn you that the atmosphere in the Ministry of Justice right now is…not ideal.”
Kayla straightened up slightly. “How so?”
“Minister Liang was well-liked by the more capable officials, and for the remnants of the Grand Duke’s faction, anything that detracts from your reputation is to their benefit. Zhang Dingyong is choosing to stand aside and watch with his hands in his sleeves, along with anyone else aligned with the Third Prince. Even though the justice system is currently cooperating together, we need to be prepared for the possibility that they will also speak out against you in court if news of the Zhao clan’s debt is leaked,” Sun Ruhui cautioned her.
“What about the people we placed in the Ministry? There’s quite a few people from the neutral faction, aren’t there?” Kayla asked.
“Indeed. That’s precisely why the atmosphere inside the Ministry of Justice is very tense at the moment,” Sun Ruhui replied. “But among the members of the neutral faction, there is also some discontent.”
“About reinstating Hu Qing?”
Sun Ruhui lowered his eyes slightly. “Yes,” he said reluctantly. “Many of them…see it as a personal grab for power rather than an act that benefits the neutral faction, and as a rather brazen move at that.”
“And what do you think?” Kayla asked before she could stop herself.
“I think that you have deep plans and far-sighted concerns, my lord, but please understand that your actions are not understood as such to the court,” Sun Ruhui replied. “When the words of the court grow loud enough, it may also affect the Emperor’s perception. You are shielded from consequence thanks to his favor for the moment, but how far does his protection go? And how long will it last? It is not something that can withstand testing, my lord.”
Kayla let out a deep sigh. “So I definitely can’t throw Wei Guang at the Empress Dowager.”
“No, my lord. It is not a path that you should even be considering,” Sun Ruhui said, an edge of severity in his voice.
“Because it won’t work, I know,” Kayla replied.
“No, because it’s disloyal and unfilial,” Sun Ruhui said heavily. Kayla stilled at the unexpected harshness of his tone.
“I did not wish to criticize you before others, so I did not say so last night,” Sun Ruhui said. “But the Empress Dowager is your grandmother and the ruler of the Inner Palace. The Imperial Edict Bearer is your godfather and your ally. If you attempt to harm them, how will they perceive you? How will the court perceive you? This is no joking matter, my lord, this is a gambit that can cost you your life, even if not immediately so. The walls of the palace can keep things out, but they cannot keep things in. All of your actions can be used as ammunition against you, much less a plot as obvious as this. Perhaps the Empress Dowager and Wei Guang will act as you hope regardless of the visible pitfalls simply out of enmity for each other, but you are the one who will pay for it in the end.”
Kayla was silent for a moment before letting out a sigh. “You’re right,” Kayla finally said. “Neither one of them would let me off the hook–the risks are far too high for far too little.”
“I’m not sure you fully understand the weight of the situation, my lord. Your godfather is more prideful than any other man, the only reason why it is not immediately obvious is because his pride is directed differently than that of others. The Imperial Edict Bearer believes from the bottom of his heart that he is the one who knows what is best for the country, him and no one else. If you get in the way of that, he will destroy you without hesitation,” Sun Ruhui said seriously.
“He didn’t seem so delusional at the start,” Kayla said.
“I believe he wasn’t. If anything, his contact with you appears to have…encouraged these notions,” Sun Ruhui replied.
“I get it,” Kayla let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll make amends with the Empress Dowager.”
Sun Ruhui nodded encouragingly.
“That would be for the best, my lord.”
With a heavy heart, Kayla thanked him and ended the call.
After a mostly sleepless night, Kayla grimly steeled herself to visit the Inner Palace. Housekeeper Li was already quietly waiting with a serving maid outside Kayla’s quarters when she got up.
“My lord, please allow us to assist you with your robes,” Housekeeper Li said politely in response to Kayla’s inquisitive look.
“Thank you, but there’s no need to trouble you, I can do it myself,” Kayla replied.
“Please allow me to help regardless,” Housekeeper Li said politely. She made a small gesture and the serving maid quickly passed her a tray of accessories and left.
“Alright then,” Kayla agreed. She stood still and let Housekeeper Li dress her. The older woman carefully straightened the layers of Kayla’s robes and fixed her belt before placing the official cap on Kayla’s head. The small gold and jade accessories that Kayla usually went without were arranged with painstaking care under Housekeeper Li’s intent movements.
“What do you think? Would the Empress Dowager approve?” Kayla asked quietly. To her surprise, Housekeeper Li’s eyes suddenly moistened with emotion. Kayla politely glanced away.
“I believe she would, my lord,” Housekeeper Li said. “You truly resemble the late Princess, especially in the morning light.”
The older woman paused slightly before continuing. “She still loves you, my lord. Her Majesty has always doted on you, I’m sure that…I’m sure she will be merciful.”
“I hope you’re right,” Kayla replied.
“The carriage is ready for you, my lord,” Housekeeper Li said. She walked Kayla to the gate, bowing her head solemnly. “Please have a safe trip.”
“Thank you,” Kayla replied. She nodded at Zhao Chao, and the carriage pulled off towards the palace. Kayla felt hollowed-out at the thought of the upcoming ordeal, almost as though she was no longer the one occupying this body.
Being at odds with the Empress Dowager was a strangely familiar feeling. Even though the conflict had only emerged recently, it felt like an inevitable continuation that transcended time and space. Kayla's mind briefly flickered to her mother, but the thought fizzled out as quickly as it had emerged.
The carriage pulled to a stop, and Kayla glanced out of the window quizzically.
“Why have we stopped? We’re not at the palace yet,” she asked. Zhao Chao glanced at her uneasily.
“There’s a messenger from the palace, my lord,” Zhao Chao said in a tight voice.
“In the middle of the street?” Kayla said in disbelief.
Zhao Chao nodded, and Kayla immediately got out from the carriage, straightening her robes as she glanced around. She stiffened as she caught sight of Sir Yang. The old eunuch was not accompanied by Imperial Guards or wearing his official uniform, but his clothing and the expensive horse he was riding was enough to signify his status to any bystanders.
“Sir Yang,” she greeted the eunuch, approaching him with a polite smile, Zhao Chao warily keeping in step with her.
What the fuck is this? Kayla could feel a vague sense of dread at the back of her head, like a buzzing mosquito just out of arm’s reach.
“Minister,” Sir Yang dipped his head but did not get down from his horse. Kayla craned her neck to look up as she got closer. Sir Yang’s face was a hard, blank mask.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Kayla asked, hiding her unease.
“Please turn back and head to the Court of Judicial Review, Your Grace. Her Majesty is unable to meet with you,” Sir Yang said. There was a flatness to his tone that sent every alarm in Kayla’s mind blaring off at top volume.
“What? I thought she agreed to the meeting?” Kayla asked. “Is she not in good health?”
“Her Majesty is a little tired this morning and is unable to meet with you,” Sir Yang replied, not even looking at Kayla anymore.
Fuck.
Behind her, Zhao Chao bristled slightly at the eunuch's dismissive tone.
“I’m terribly sorry to hear that, may I visit her at a later time?” Kayla asked. Her heart began to hammer in her chest, the sense of dread seeping into her veins.
“I’m afraid not,” Sir Yang said firmly. “Her Majesty has asked me to pass along this message to you.” He held out a scroll to her, and Kayla accepted it with both hands.
“Her Majesty will await your response,” Sir Yang replied. He turned his horse around and left before Kayla could react.
“How could that eunuch be so discourteous?” Zhao Chao said in disbelief, glancing at Kayla with worried eyes. “My lord, the palace…”
Kayla stared at the scroll in her hand, taking a deep breath. “Turn back and go to the Court of Judicial Review,” she replied.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
“As you wish, my lord,” Zhao Chao murmured. He opened the carriage door for Kayla before getting back on his horse. “To the Court of Judicial Review,” he ordered the guards.
Amidst the envoy’s quizzical looks, the carriage changed directions and headed off again. Inside, Kayla opened the scroll with bated breath.
Holy shit. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized what she was looking at. Kayla hastily closed the scroll as though it was a burning coal, turning her eyes to the ceiling of the carriage.
There was a knock on the window, and Kayla opened the curtain to Zhao Chao’s concerned expression.
“My lord, is something the matter? Do we need to make any…preparations?” Zhao Chao asked quietly. Kayla gave him a reassuring smile.
“No, no need,” Kayla replied. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
Zhao Chao didn’t seem very convinced, but he nodded, accepting the answer. Kayla closed the window again and drew the curtain shut.
There was a lot to worry about.
I can’t believe this–older ginger is sharper indeed, Kayla thought in disbelief, carefully opening the scroll again. The Empress Dowager had sent the anonymous tip-off that landed Kayla in jail, except it wasn’t so anonymous after all. In clear, beautifully written characters, the scroll was annotated in the Empress Dowager’s handwriting, “Submitted by Wei Guang”.
“This really is tormenting one’s heart over killing their body,” Kayla muttered under her breath.
The Empress Dowager’s terms for Kayla were conveyed clearly enough–terminate her alliance with Wei Guang and turn upon him.
And here I was going to set them upon each other, the Empress Dowager’s already struck first with the same move, Kayla let out a shaky sigh, tucking the scroll into her inner robes. Being turned back halfway to the palace was certain to get rumors started, and Sir Yang’s borderline rude behavior would not go unnoticed either. Her own guards were smart enough to keep quiet, and Zhao Chao was someone who hadn’t run off even when Kayla had been arrested. The bystanders, on the other hand, included both minor officials heading to their posts and commoners going about their day.
How long do I have before the whole capital knows I’ve earned her displeasure? She’s forcing my hand by squeezing the timeline.
Kayla pinched the bridge of her nose, a familiar sense of pressure building in her temples. It was going to be a shit day.
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Yunqi stood in the middle of his garden, pensively staring blankly into the distance.
“My prince, what are you looking at?” Qiu Jinwei’s voice cut into Yunqi’s thoughts.
“Jinwei,” Yunqi greeted him. “I wasn’t looking at anything in particular.”
“Oh, I thought there might be something special about that rock,” Jinwei said, a note of disappointment in his voice.
Yunqi withheld a smile of amusement. “No, there is not,” he replied. “Is something the matter?”
“No,” Jinwei replied bluntly. He stood there in silent expectation. Yunqi gave him a look of confusion.
“Is there a reason you came to seek me out?” Yunqi asked.
“You seem to have something on your mind, my prince, I’m waiting for you to make a decision,” Qiu Jinwei replied.
“You’re astute as always, Jinwei,” Yunqi said softly. “But I have already made a decision. There is no need for you to worry.”
“Is this about Lord Zhao?” Jinwei asked.
“Grandmother’s wrath is fearsome, I would not wish that on anyone,” Yunqi replied. “I fear that Third Brother’s inaction will push Wenyuan into desperate straits, but I have no other options.”
“And what of it? If the Empress Dowager forces him to cut off his own limbs, then that will make him all the more indebted to us,” Jinwei replied. “There’s no need to give him excessive sympathy, he has enjoyed the Empress Dowager’s favor for his entire life, and yet he recklessly gambled it away within months."
Yunqi's face creased into a frown, but Qiu Jinwei didn't notice, continuing on thoughtlessly. "If he's foolish enough to incur the Empress Dowager's wrath, then he should suffer the consequences. A pitiful person must also have his despicable points, my prince.”
Yunqi’s voice hardened. “What, so my wife was also despicable? And my mother as well? Did they deserve the Empress Dowager's wrath? That saying is only used as an excuse by uncaring bystanders to cast blame upon the victim!”
Qiu Jinwei opened and closed his mouth speechlessly, his face going bright red.
“That–I-I–my prince, I had no such meaning, I’m-you know I’m not a good talker,” Qiu Jinwei stammered out. He was no stranger to rebuke, given his eccentricities, but it was the first time he was on the receiving end of Yunqi’s displeasure. The prince’s face softened at Jinwei’s evident distress.
“I apologize, Jinwei. It is not your fault,” Yunqi said gently. “I know you mean well, I’m the one in the wrong here for lashing out.”
Jinwei flushed even redder at the apology.
“No, my prince, I misspoke.”
Yunqi looked at Jinwei, regret written over his face. “It’s because I know firsthand what Grandmother’s anger is like. The small, scattered humiliations don’t stop, and the more people hear of them, the more occurrences there are. It’s barely been half a day, and half the court already knows that the Empress Dowager sent her eunuch to turn Wenyuan away. Things are only going to get worse from now on. And with Grandmother, just an apology won’t suffice. Unless you make a big enough concession, she won’t even leave you a path to survival,” he said bitterly.
Even Jinwei could tell that the prince was thinking of his own plight.
“Moreover, Zhao Wenyuan has helped me in the past, and I am remiss to ignore his plight. But whether out of sentiment or reason, I cannot act against Third Brother’s interests,” Yunqi said, subconsciously turning his gaze towards the direction of his younger cousin’s quarters. “Unfortunate as it is, there is simply nothing I can do for him.”
“Or perhaps there is,” Qiu Jinwei said. “The Empress Dowager is only able to do this because she has the Emperor’s tacit approval, what can she do if he withdraws that? Lord Zhao is so tangled up in this that he doesn’t seem to remember that.”
“That would only deepen grandmother’s displeasure,” Yunqi pointed out. “Not a single consort has gone around her to appeal to Father’s sympathy without deepening her enmity.”
“Exactly,” Qiu Jinwei agreed. “It’s perfect. This allows him to resolve his current predicament without damaging the Third Prince’s interests, does it not? You can repay your debt to him without being disloyal to your brother.”
“But Father rarely intervenes with Grandmother’s decisions,” Yunqi said.
“That depends, doesn’t it? Lord Zhao, more so than any of his wives or women, may be the most effective in persuading him,” Qiu Jinwei replied.
“Indeed,” Yunqi murmured. “As expected of you, Jinwei. You always manage to indulge my whims while protecting my interests.”
“Just doing my job,” Jinwei said, a pleased grin on his face.
Yunqi gave him a warm smile. “Thank you. I’ll send Zhao Wenyuan a message, what he manages to make of it is up to him.”
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Kayla stared at the Empress Dowager’s scroll, reading it through for the sixth time. News of Sir Yang stopping Kayla en route to the palace had spread even faster than expected–Kayla had no doubt that Xianchun had a part in it. For that matter, Kuang stood to gain from this as well. Even Wei Guang had reason to meddle, as did most of the neutral faction. The workday was filled with awkward pauses and whispers behind her back, with everyone calculating their next move for when Kayla officially fell from grace.
It well and truly felt like every tree and blade of grass was a hidden enemy. As the document in her hands proved, that wasn't so far from the truth.
I don’t actually have a way out of this, do I? Even if I claw my way out of this mess, the next one is waiting for me right around the corner.
Kayla carded her fingers through her hair. A sudden rush of desperate fear left her shaky and breathless, even more so than any confrontation with the Grand Duke or any of his twisted schemes. Kayla took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart.
Things are different now, Kayla reminded herself. But that’s kind of the problem.
There was still danger everywhere, just not a clear target to swing at. I need to keep walking this tightrope for the rest of my goddamn life, with an Empress Dowager who wants me to live and die on her orders.
The thought made her sick to her stomach.
Come on, Kayla, what’s wrong with you? Kayla goaded herself, trying and failing to quell the nausea. It wasn’t like she was only taking hits–Kayla had managed to stay afloat and to carve out advantages wherever possible. The dizzying rushes of euphoria when she succeeded on her own terms were still sharp at the back of her mind.
This isn’t that bad, Kayla assured herself. It’s better than what things were like before. I’ll do what I can, and I’ll get through this.
She stared across the room into the bronze mirror, her reflection seeming to distort under the flickering light of the lamp. The man in the mirror was Kayla now. She thought she had already accepted that.
The real me is probably in an urn on my mother’s shelf right now, if she had even bothered collecting. Kayla briefly thought back to the shitty apartment that seemed like a lifetime ago. Her soul was here and no one had moved into the empty shell left behind–the cooling corpse probably would have been discovered quickly enough. Kayla felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of what her mother would have thought when she got the call.
Kayla could only hope her mother took it well, even though she knew that couldn’t possibly be the case. The train of thought succeeded in making her feel worse, and Kayla tore her eyes from the mirror, curling herself as small as she could on the bed.
She felt the familiar stinging of tears in her eyes and sharply exhaled, the sound coming out in a ragged sigh.
There’s no point thinking about it, Kayla told herself firmly, the harsh tone quieting her worries. I’m already here, and I’ve already stained my hands to stay alive. I can never be forgiven and I can never go back. It’s time I made my peace with it.
Like Wenyuan did. Kayla only realized now how strong the man had been in choosing to let go.
Life is a battleground and he was a pacifist.
Kayla, however, could never back down from the fight. For all her fantasies of escaping into obscurity, it was no longer possible for her to live or die without collateral damage. The only thing she could do was to make the most out of it.
Kayla took in a deep breath and held it, slowly letting it out through her nose. The light in the lamp flickered out and she was left staring into the reprieve of darkness.
If the Empress Dowager wants me to take on Wei Guang, I’ll fucking do it. But she better bet I’ll turn around and tear her throat out as well, Kayla thought venomously.
A knock on her door interrupted a more bloodthirsty train of thoughts.
“My lord,” Housekeeper Li’s voice rang out, tinged with hopefulness. “There’s a message from the Fifth Prince.”
Kayla lay still for a moment before shooting to her feet. Her fingertips buzzed with anticipation as she threw the door open.
“Let me see,” Kayla demanded.
Housekeeper Li offered up the scroll with both hands, unobtrusively following Kayla into the room as she ripped open the seal. Only two lines were written on the scroll in Yunqi’s beautiful calligraphy.
“One must govern with virtue, just as the Northern Star, which holds the center spot in the sky while the stars surround it.
More so than any other factors, the interests of the one whose opinion matters most is what determines your fate.”
Kayla sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky laugh.
"It seems that I've been so focused on the Empress Dowager that I've forgotten the most obvious solution to all this, even when I already have everything I need," Kayla murmured. "No wonder they say that enmity clouds your judgment."
“My lord?” Housekeeper Li asked eagerly.
“The Fifth Prince’s reminder is like a gift of coal in a blizzard,” Kayla said gleefully. “As expected, a bystander has the clearest view.”
She turned to meet Housekeeper Li’s expectant gaze.
“He’s reminding me to take my own advice,” Kayla explained. “I need to convince the Emperor to intervene.”
“He would not interfere with his mother’s plans,” Housekeeper Li said uneasily. "When has he ever intervened on someone's behalf when it was the Empress Dowager's plot at play?"
Kayla smiled, pulling out the scroll from the Empress Dowager.
“I also thought that before, but my uncle will step in if the Empress Dowager's plans threaten his own,” Kayla replied. “Wei Guang’s the perfect proof of that, isn’t he?”
She glanced at the Empress Dowager’s document, her smile widening. “I should thank her for creating an opportunity, really. She's delivered the solution right into my hands.”
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Cultural Notes
北斗/Northern Star: Held an important position in Ancient Chinese astrology, and was believed to be the star around which other stars revolved.
袖手旁观/Watch from aside with one's hands in one's sleeves: An Ancient Chinese proverb meaning to watch from the sidelines and refuse to intervene or help. Suggests that someone is cold and uncaring, or indifferent. Remember that robes in Ancient China had wider sleeves, so this was similar to the modern day act of watching something go down with hands in your pockets.
深谋远虑/Deep plans and long considerations: An Ancient Chinese proverb meaning to plan long ahead.
经不起试探/Can't withstand testing: A Chinese saying that urges against testing something that relies on bonds of trust, affection, etc. For example, it's most often used in the line "婚姻是经不起试探的/Marriage can't withstand being tested", to urge people not to try an open marriage or to mess around too much just to see how much your spouse is willing to put up with. Also commonly used is "人性经不起试探/Humanity can't withstand being tested" to refer to acts of violence, cruelty, or indifference when no external factors are there to provide restraint.
不忠不孝/Disloyal and unfilial: A serious moral failing and insult in Ancient China, where loyalty to the country/忠 (as opposed to loyalty to one's friends/义) and filial piety were among two of the most important virtues. It's akin to saying someone is without father or ruler, in reference to the pre-Qin quote 无父无君是禽兽也/One without father or ruler (in their hearts/minds) is essentially a beast (not even human).
姜还是老的辣/Ginger is hotter/sharper when it's older: A Chinese colloquialism referring to the tendency of ginger roots that are left to grow older being more spicy than the taste of young/tender ginger roots. It is used to mean that older folks tend to have the upper hand when it comes to ruthlessness or in terms of plots and intrigue.
杀人诛心/To torment one’s heart rather than murder the body: An Ancient Chinese proverb meaning to deliver a blow straight to the heart (metaphorically). For example, someone who loses a game and then gets verbally wrecked by their opponent would fall in this category.
可怜之人必有可恨之处/Someone pitiful must also have their despicable points: A Chinese saying that means that many victims are in fact complicit in their own plights. A classic victim-blaming argument that seems to ignore the fact that almost everyone has faults or "despicable points", which still doesn't mean they deserve what they get.
于情于理/By sentiment or by reason: An Ancient Chinese proverb that is used to describe something that is morally non-controversial, for which there is a clear leaning in one direction whether going by emotional or rational trains of thought.
不留活路/Not leaving a path to survival: A Chinese saying that means to trap someone/to force someone into a desperate plight. Not always used for situations of life or death, but can also be used more generally.
零零碎碎的羞辱/Small and scattered doses of humiliation: A Chinese saying that essentially refers to a sustained series of microaggressions designed to break you down psychologically. Not one incident in particular stands out as particularly malicious, but each of them adds up to make you feel constantly put-down.
草木皆兵/Grass and trees are all [enemy] soldiers: An Ancient Chinese proverb that describes excessive paranoia in which it feels like everything and everyone is out to get you, to the point where it causes faulty decisions that lead to your own downfall.
为政以德，譬如北辰，居其所而众星拱之/One must govern with virtue, just as the Northern Star, which holds the center spot in the sky while the stars surround it: A quote from the pre-QIn Confucian classic The Analects, this line is used to discuss the ideal virtue of a ruler, but has since developed to mean that someone with true virtue does not need to go about seeking support, but will automatically draw support to oneself.
雪中送炭/Gifting coal in the snow: An Ancient Chinese proverb that means to deliver help when it is desperately needed, like delivering coal to a household without any during the cold of the winter.
旁观者清/Bystanders see more clearly: An Ancient Chinese proverb that emphasizes the importance of an objective viewpoint.