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Summoned! To a Prawn Cocktail Crisp (LitRPG)
Chapter 34: Effective Demons are Freudian

Chapter 34: Effective Demons are Freudian

Just why Liam felt it necessary to prove himself to Tom and Winifred, he really could not say.

If the motivation of humans is the subject of your enquiry, you may wish to consult an expert.

You?

When it comes to collecting human souls, there are few demons more accomplished than I and certainly no crisps. Almost always, success is a matter of understanding the motive of the human and thus crafting an offer to suit their goals. One that feels to the human as though it is at least equal in value to eternal damnation.

Nothing at all is worth that, surely?

One would think so. Placing an indefinite time as a slave in the castle of a demon on the Seventh Plane of Wickedness on one side of a scale should surely tip it so firmly downwards that no possible offer can bring that side back up? And yet, some humans are so vengeful, so bloody-minded, so desirous of fame, fortune, or love, so caught up in the intense feelings of a particular moment, that it is, in fact, possible to make them an offer that they are willing to take.

Tell me then, O expert, why do I care about the opinion of these two strangers?

A trivial matter. They are substitutes for your parents. Their scorn and assumption that you were unworthy of a place in the illustrious college you attend resonated with your own dark thoughts that you were indeed out of your depth, that you were an imposter. And much as your parents tried to hide it, you know that they would have preferred for you and your sibling to return to Poland with them. They doubted you. Mistakenly, in my opinion. This morning, as you efficiently destroy undead, you are proving your mettle to Tom and Winifred; proving that you are someone; proving that you deserved your place in the university, even if you no longer care about it. And, above all, you are proving to your parents that you are a worthy mage.

Are all demons Freudian?

Only the effective ones.

‘Incoming!’ Once more Aengus had split a group of blighted bonewalkers with his Still Heart skill and Liam tagged the resulting single pull with a Magic Missile. The monster managed a dozen steps towards them before Kate landed a Freeze. These skeletal humanoids were quite intimidating to face: eight feet tall, large fangs for incisors, and a black miasma rising from their diseased bones. Level twenty. And if Liam ever came close enough to a blighted bonewalker, it would rapidly tear through his soft flesh with swings of its heavy, clawed hands. But these undead had no resistance to being held in place by Freeze and oddly, even though they had no lungs, Lord Azanth’s Intoxicating Scent stunned them also.

The latest monster to have been isolated from the others collapsed and Liam’s EXP bar advanced a fraction.

The castle on the lonely mountain was a ruin, with only the central tower intact. Of course, they were staying well away from there. A large gatehouse in the outer wall was perfectly suitable for grinding EXP, because it was dense with undead – black zombies, blighted bonewalkers, and crawling fiends – which allowed them to gain EXP as fast as their mana regeneration allowed. There was no need to go anywhere near the raid-level boss mobs in the tower.

While Liam and Kate stood on the rocky path that led to the dark archway ahead, Tom and Winifred had to stay another twenty metres back and were instructed only to use their own Magic Missile skill when the target was on less than fifty per cent health and it was almost impossible for either of them to gain aggro.

Luckily for the unwanted pair, they were within the ten-level range that allowed them to gain experience while grouped with Liam and, indeed, with a skip of delight, Winifred had recently claimed to have levelled up.

Liam opened the group menu to check.

Group Menu

Azanth, Crisp (Prawn Cocktail flavour), Mage Level 18, rank Light Green, evolution 0, HP 61

Liam Nowak, Human, Mage Level 17, rank Light Green, evolution 0, HP 63

Kate Brannagan, Human, Mage Level 17, rank Light Green, evolution 0, HP 69

Aengus Nowak, Human, Monk Level 16, rank Light Green, evolution 0, HP 75

Tom McCardle, Human, Mage Level 8, rank 0, evolution 1 star, HP 35

Winifred Fitzgerald, Human, Mage Level 9, rank 0, evolution 1 star, HP 39

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

His own EXP bar was steadily advancing and Liam estimated that another twenty pulls and he’d be Level 18. The next big achievement that he was striving for would be reach Level 20, because then all his skills would advance to Level 5. That would mean a Magic Missile with a range of 26m and base damage of 22. And his Freeze would last 22 seconds, not 18.

What is invisible to you is not hidden from me. Call your brother back, six, no, eight people approach.

‘Aengus, hold that pull! Come back!’ Who are they?

Their minds are closed to me, all I can tell is their presence. They are close at hand, urgent, troubling.

‘What’s up?’

‘Eight people incoming.’

Backing away from the ruins and the undead, Liam stood by Tom and Winifred, looking to either side. The ground in every direction was covered with large, pale rocks which blocked his view. Only the path back down the mountain was clear of these boulders but it dipped out of sight, leaving Liam with a view of blue sky and white stone. Nothing moved other than a falcon gliding far above him.

‘What’s up?’ Tom sounded like Aengus, except with a posher way of articulating those two words. Tom had obviously been bored, because he had been scratching on the surface of a large stone; his design was some kind of shield with a coat of arms inside.

‘Ssh. Some people are­—there!’

A masked man dressed in dark leather had stepped out from behind a boulder onto the path, holding a sword in each hand. Despite the shadows created by the sun being behind him, Liam got an impression of strength and confidence in the man’s stance.

Alas, we must have been seen using the portal. Prepare to run. No doubt they have come in sufficient strength to kill you all and find me. Therefore, let you sprint for the tower, where our would-be murderers will be afraid to follow.

There’s a lot of mobs between us and the tower. And the tower itself is far beyond our level.

Even so, I believe the alternative is to die here in the next few minutes. A sorry end for demon or crisp; we should have returned to anonymity. This last moon I have dared to dream of revenge. I have embraced my existence as a flavoursome circle of fried potato. I have gained power and an effective group of companions. For naught. Those dreams were foolish.

‘Which one of you is Kate?’

‘I am,’ Kate folded her arms. ‘What do you want?’

‘I’m going to kill you. But first, Professor DuFrey has a message. I’m supposed to read it all out to you but it’s just drivel. Short version, you shouldn’t have tried to bring him down.’

They come for Kate! Not I. How unexpected.

That doesn’t change the fact we are all in danger.

Standing up, Winifred raised her voice. ‘Do you know who I am?’

The figure shrugged.

‘I’m Winifred Fitzgerald. My dad is Ruairi Fitzgerald. He’s a close friend of the Taoiseach. Don’t you dare touch any of us. Be a good man and turn around and go home.’

‘I see. That’s an unfortunate complication.’ The two swords that the man was holding dipped slightly as though he really was dismayed. ‘I tell you what, I’ll tip off your family when we’re done and you can be resurrected. But Ms Brannagan, I’m afraid we are going to burn you. There’s no coming back for you.’

Now it was Tom’s turn to shout, his cheeks turning red as his powerful voice rang out. ‘Now wait a sodding minute. Who do you think you are? I’m Tom McArdle. My family will pay you double, no, triple whatever DuFrey is paying you.’

Much as Liam resented the privileged advantages of Tom and Winifred, it gave him hope to hear them. Hope that lasted barely a heartbeat.

Without any kind of signal, the man began sprinting towards Kate and other assailants leaped out of cover from all around.

‘Run to the tower!’ urged Liam. ‘Follow me.’

A Freeze on the assailant nearest to them worked and on the opposite side of the path, Kate’s Freeze landed also. One of the attackers, however, must have been a mage because Liam was suddenly aware that Kate had stopped moving. She too had been struck by Freeze.

They had to stand and fight. It was probably hopeless but perhaps this gang underestimated how strong they had become. Liam cast Thornskin onto his brother and a moment later Fortify from Lord Azanth boosted his hit points.

Concentrate on their leader.

‘All on their leader.’

A confusion of colour and noise overwhelmed his senses as a dozen skills were triggered from every direction. For a fraction of a second Liam felt himself immobilized, but his ring of Freedom of Movement protected him. Although several of the attackers were stunned, Liam could do nothing to stop four of them closing, with sharp, iron blades in hand.

Then the sky split with a crack and a flicker of darkness. The leader of the attackers was jerked off his feet and was scrambling in the dust, hands clasped at his neck. What was that? A thin, dark line stretched from the choking man to where a woman stood on a rock, whip in hand. A woman? No, a demon with horns and tail. Black leather armour. Sheathed short swords. Bow across her back.

My Chief of Spies. She is level 84. We are saved.

Still holding the whip in her left hand, the demon plucked a shuriken from a bandolier with her right and it zipped through the air to hit a warrior just in time to save Kate from being stabbed. There must have been magic or poison on the missile because the attacker – a sturdy human female – was transfixed.

Another enemy warrior was close, close enough that Liam could see his eyes were focused on Kate. Stepping into his path, Liam braced himself for a cut from the slashing sword. Again a shuriken zipped past, whizzing close to his ear with a whine like that of a mosquito. It struck the incoming warrior on his cheek and he staggered, then dropped to his knees, pale and unmoving.

What now? Aengus was fighting and losing. Liam triggered Magic Missile at his brother’s opponent and prepared to do so again as soon as it refreshed. Another enemy warrior reached Kate and as Freeze was available, Liam used it. To his great relief the skill worked and Kate was able to scramble clear and use her own Freeze to allow Aengus to back out of melee.

For a second, the confusion of the battle stilled, like a tableau. Then some of the other assailants from further away shook off Lord Azanth’s Intoxicating Scent and a blast of sound and colour slammed into Liam.

You have been hit by a Fireball for 21 damage!

Another of those and Winifred and Tom would be dead. Where had it come from? No sooner had Liam spotted the high-level mage than the demon appeared beside him, stepping out of the shadows to stab the caster with two swords. He collapsed at once into a heap of robe and dust.

Without seeming to sprint, the Chief of Spies, as Lord Azanth called her, moved swiftly to intercept an enemy warrior and began exchanging blows with her. Looking over at the leader of the assassins, Liam reckoned he was probably dead, as he lay still with his clawed hands at his neck and a terrible purple colour to the visible part of his face above the mask.

With Kate and Liam’s Freeze and Lord Azanth’s Intoxicating Scent they could now keep the attackers pinned down. One after the other, the demon duelled each of the remaining enemies, killing them with brisk efficiency and with no sign of receiving any wounds. When the last of them was dead, she came up to Liam and dropped to her knee, head bowed. Then the demon looked up at Liam’s chest, where the Tupperware case was, with incredible gold and scarlet eyes.

“My lord; I promised I would find you and serve you again.”