If she could run away, she would.

But foxes never leave the den.

Keiko lay under the cherry trees, their blossoms in full, glorious bloom. It was just the right amount of warm sun and light breeze mingling together, and the deep blue sky was speckled with the fluffiest of white clouds the ideal distance apart.

It had been a perfect day for a tournament.

Of course, it hadn’t been for her.

It never was.

But she went anyways.

Just as she was supposed to.

Her mother had told her since she was just a little girl how she was the most beautiful in all of the den. How, without a doubt, no other girl could compare to her, and that sentiment was constantly confirmed by the whispers that followed behind Keiko like a veil.

From the time she was fifteen, her mother would spend an unreasonable amount of time primping the girl just so she could leave the house. She knew her daughter was a prize, and she was going to make sure she had plenty of suitors when the time came.

“You are gorgeous,” her mother would say. “There isn’t a boy or man here who doesn’t desire you more than any other. But you need to be mindful of that atrocious attitude of yours. Just smile and keep that filthy mouth shut, and soon you’ll have more suitors than you can count.”

However, Keiko never could keep her mouth shut, and when the time came for her coming of age ceremony, not a single man asked the alpha to take her as his bride.

And despite their looks and whispers that continued to follow after her, none would ever ask.

But on this day, she slipped into her best dress as she was instructed to chew on her lips and pinch her cheeks while her mother braided her long, waist length, cherry hair, placing baby’s breath in the plaits and a white lily at her ear.

“To make your cheeks rosy and your lips plump,” the woman told the girl. “There’re still men who haven’t chosen a mate. Or maybe you’ll catch the eye of one of the boys who are about to come of age, and they’ll be so taken by you that they won’t care how awful you really are.”

Keiko doubted that she had had any such luck with any of the eligible men.

It didn’t matter how lovely she was.

No man wanted a disobedient and mouthy mate.

She was twenty-two now. Basically an old maid.

It was safe to say her time had never come, and it never would.

She didn’t bother to sit up when she heard footsteps approaching. She knew she should. A good woman certainly would. To sit up, prim and proper, and give an appropriate greeting in a sweet and cheerful manner. Show that the man’s presence was welcomed and appreciated, and that her attention was solely fixed on him.

But it made no difference to either of them whether she did so or not.

“You weren’t at the tournament,” Keiko chastised her guest, knowing full well how she shouldn’t nag. No man likes a woman who nags.

“Nope,” the man’s voice came, calm and uninterested in her lack of tact.

“You really should show up every now and then to these things. It makes you look bad when you don’t. People notice. They talk.”

“People always talk. You should learn to not listen.”

She sighed. That was easy to say when you didn’t always hear everything around you. “Were you out hunting pests?”

“Yep.”

“Kill anything?”

“Sure did.”

His body dropped down onto the grass next to her. She looked over at the man, half of his jet-black hair was pulled into a knot at the back of his head while the rest brushed along his neck, the tips of his ears and tail dabbed in white. He dug a stone out of the grass and flung it at the pond. Keiko could hear it skip across before sinking near the other end.

“Where’s your katana?” she asked, noticing his hip empty.

“At home. The pest is dead. I don’t need it here.”

“The other men wear theirs all the time.”

“I guess they need it more than I do.”

Keiko continued staring at him while he continued to not even glance her way. They had known each other their whole lives, her a year older than him, and she had never known him to show much interest in anything other than killing pests, and even then, only during the process, never before or after. Some men never stopped boasting about their past, current, or future kills. It was a thing of pride, something men of the den never seemed to lack.

“Why don’t you try to go for alpha, Haru?”

The question was sudden and not something the man was expecting to hear. He finally looked at her, his emerald eyes boring down into her amber ones. They spoke without words and were yelling at her that she was absolutely ridiculous. “Why would I do that?” He snorted at the absurdity of it.

“Because everyone wants to be alpha.”

He shook his head and chuckled. “Then let everyone fight for it.”

“You should try. I bet you’d win.” She knew he would. Though Haru refused to spar against the other men, a choice that made him weak in the eyes of everyone, he was always the first called upon whenever it came to exterminating a pest. While the others were busy gathering together in order to strategize an offense, Haru would slip away and deal with the problem, later returning just as quietly as he had left. There wasn’t a single man who was willing to do the same.

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But somehow, Haru was still considered the coward.

It made her mad just thinking about it.

Though the man didn’t seem to care much as he peered at her a moment longer before turning back to the pond. “I’d rather not.”

“Why not?” she argued, knowing it wasn’t her place to question but unable to stop herself. “It would be easy for you. No one could say anything about you then. You’d be alpha. They’d have to respect you.”

He watched the water, not responding, his teeth chewing at the inside of his cheek.

Keiko hated when he did this, just stop talking when he lost interest in the discussion. “Hikari had five suitors today.” She changed the subject, hoping he didn’t hear the disappointment in her voice.

“I’m sure today will forever live on as the best day of her life, and she’ll make sure everyone knows it until her dying breath.”

Keiko couldn’t stop the burst of laughter. No one would say it, but they all thought the same thing. “I’m sure she will.”

Haru turned back to her and smiled, watching as she caught her breath and calmed down a bit. “How about Himiko? Did Takumi lose?”

The last of her giggles faded. “He did,” she said, her heart breaking for the boy. He truly cared for Himiko, and her for him, but he was a better farmer than fighter, and had no chance against the larger and tougher Kenji. Himiko wasn’t like her twin. She didn’t want for men to fight over her. She just wanted the one, and she would never have him now.

How foolish the girl was for openly giving her heart to someone who hadn’t yet claimed it.

Not that Keiko could blame her for doing so, not when she was guilty of the same thing herself. The only difference between the two of them was Keiko knew how to bury those feelings deep within, and never allow them to surface.

He nodded. “I was hoping he’d get lucky.”

So did she, but such is life. “Are you going to go to their rituals?” She knew he wouldn’t.

“Why? To watch them be graced with a crown of flowers before being sent off to a life of misery? I know the den loves seeing it, but I don’t.”

That struck a nerve in Keiko, and she had to look away. She knew he was right, but it was all she had ever wanted. All she’d ever been told she needed. How she longed for the day that someone would deem her worthy enough to be their mate. She had spent her life hearing about how much better she was than the others, only for the truth to come crashing down on her, revealing that no one wanted her. That no one would ever want her.

Especially not the one that she wanted.

“You don’t understand.” She sounded so angry in her own ears.

“No. I don’t,” Haru agreed. “Because I’m a man, and I can have any eligible woman I want. It doesn’t matter if she wants me, only that I want her. Then she can pretend that she doesn’t hate me as I drink too much and work too little. She can birth my children one after the other, and then filter that hate onto them since she can’t do it to me.” His voice was so docile, but when she met his gaze, his eyes burned with contempt.

She knew that she should stop. Knew that he spoke from experience having seen for herself the bruises across his skin from the time he was a child until he was too big and intimidating to be an easy victim. Knew that this wasn’t a competition over who had it worse.

But she had never been good at biting her tongue.

“At least you get an option,” she hissed. “You can choose. I’ll always have nothing.”

He turned back towards the water, no reply.

Keiko hated when he did this.

“You always do this.” She tried to hold back her snarl but failed miserably.

“Do what?” He continued staring ahead.

“This. You stop talking anytime you lose interest. It’s so annoying. That’s why none of the girls want to be your mate. Because you act like you don’t care about anything. Maybe if you didn’t act like you were so above all of this then you’d be able to be mates with a girl who didn’t absolutely loathe being around you. I hate it when you just ignore what I say. If you don’t like it, fine. Just stop being a coward and say what you really think.”

She always did this.

To everyone.

She couldn’t stand herself.

And no one else could either.

She didn’t want Haru to look at her.

But he did.

“Will you be my mate?”

Keiko gawked at him, lost for thoughts and words as everything crashed down around her. “Are you insane?” she managed to croak out.

His eyes were bright and sincere. “No, I’m not. I’m serious. You said that I don’t care about anything, but that’s not true. I have been a coward though, and not saying what I really think. I want to be your mate. I would be good to you. I would never try to force you into anything. I’d treat you better than any man here.”

There was no way this was actually happening. “You’re only saying that because no one wants either of us.”

“That’s half true. No one wants me. But I do want you.”

He was wrong about that.

She looked away, unable to speak under the weight of his gaze. “Why?”

“Because you’re honest.” He didn’t even hesitate. “And genuine. You have real emotions. You don’t fake your smiles or laughs like every other girl does. You only smile and laugh when you want to, and you don’t pretend to be happy when you’re upset. I like knowing that what I’m seeing is what I’m getting. I like that you don’t hide from how you feel. I like that you’re not afraid to say what you think.”

It was everything that she had always wanted to hear from the person she wanted to hear it from. But now that she had finally heard it, it was hard to believe. She couldn’t just accept it. “If you want me to be your mate, then why haven’t you gone to the alpha?”

Haru was quiet.

He did it again.

“Because,” his voice was lower, lacking that confidence that it always had. “I didn’t want you to be stuck with me. I know what everyone says about me, and I didn’t want that to be your burden. I don’t care about all of these rules and expectations that the den tries to put on us, but I know that you do. I didn’t have a choice at first when you came of age before me. I figured you’d be the one with a weeklong tournament.”

“I didn’t though,” she pointed out.

“No, you didn’t. And I was grateful for that. It meant that I actually had a chance to be your suitor once I came of age, but once I did, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. After watching all of those girls get picked off one by one, almost every one of them looking completely crushed with a smile on their face, I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t have you hate me or look at me the same way. I figured it was better for us to stay like this than to ruin everything.”

She could never hate him.

It had always been the opposite.

She should tell him that.

But it was so hard.

“Why don’t you go to the alpha now?” She hoped he would. “It’s not like I have any other option.”

“I want you to have the option. I told you that if I’m your mate I won’t force you into anything. I’m not going to force you into this. I want you to choose me. If you do, then we’ll go to the alpha together.”

“What if someone else decides to be my suitor?” She was being ridiculous. That was the last thing she wanted.

“I’ll fight if you tell me to. I’ll win if you tell me to. But it has to be what you want.”

She could feel the heat of his gaze on her. She should look back.

But she couldn’t.

“Tonight’s the full moon,” she told him. “You have until the next to convince me to be your mate.”

Haru was quiet. She could hear him getting to his feet.

“No, that’s alright.” He sounded so disinterested.

She was so stupid.

She should have just said yes.

Like she wanted to.

Instead, she had to run him off.

His feet were on either side of her then, and he reached down, grabbing her face and forcing her eyes on his as he smiled sweetly down at her. “I won’t need that long.” His hands slipped away as he straightened himself, one hand extended, waiting for hers. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

Keiko took it, and he pulled her to her feet, beginning the walk back to the village. She looked down at their connected hands, his fingers entwining through hers, and smiled.

He really wouldn’t need that long.