“You’re taking me to the red-light district, aren’t you?”
“Of course not. I would never take you to a place like that.” Ren looked at the woman with the purest of sincerity. “I only go there alone. I don’t need you getting in my way, poking around while I’m trying to do business, making a mess of everything.”
Sakura bit her cheek. That was a stupid thing for her to say.
By no means did she actually believe the angel. He was always saying something ridiculous in order to get a rise out of her and had done so since they were children. It hadn’t taken him long after she began living with him and Raz to figure out how to set her off, and he relished in doing so anytime there was a lull in her own attempts to antagonize the boy. If there was ever a moment where the girl wasn’t forcing Ren’s eyes on her, then he would make sure to bring hers to him.
But they were no longer children.
Ren had grown into a man, and when push came to shove, young men weren’t exactly well known for always using the brain that resided in the heads above their shoulders.
When they were younger, the angel had no issues with attracting the girls and young women around him. Even the ones of their village, those who knew what he was, would still giggle and bat their eyes, more than willingly to forget the warnings about the dark-haired boy with concealed wings. And he always had a way of knowing just what the right thing to say was in order to be polite and friendly but distant, carefully weaving a narrative that combated against the hearsay and staying in their good graces while pursuing the one who had claimed his full attention.
But that was then, and although Ren may have made well-intentioned promises in the past and even marked them permanently into her skin, it had been seven long years of being on his own. Having to deal with everything alone. And sooner or later, everyone needs someone. Everyone needs comforting now and then. Or, at the very least, a distraction. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for there to be another, or others, along the way.
Sakura hated the thought.
It made her irate.
But how could she expect him to keep his promises when she couldn’t even keep hers?
He had said that he would return, and he did.
She had said that she would wait. But instead, she turned and ran, just as she always did when she didn’t know what else to do.
Ren subtly glanced down at the festering demon, his arm around her shoulders, tapping his fingers against her arm. “You don’t like that, do you? The idea of me being with someone else.”
“You’re a big boy, you can do whatever you want.” She brushed him off, refusing to look his way. “I don’t really care.”
“I’m sure you don’t.” Arrogance dripping from each chuckle as he left her in the silence.
This fucking man.
He knew she did.
She set her attention to her feet and the shorter than normal stride she was forced to take. This dress was suffocating and restricting and it just irritated her all the more. It didn’t matter how pretty or expensive it was. She hated feeling trapped. But although the dress constricted her body, it did nothing to restrain her thoughts.
“Did you?” the woman asked, watching the fabric move with her leg, not wanting him to see the insecurity that painted her face.
Ren raised his free hand to brush against a hanging branch and its bright green, glistening leaves as they walked under the tree. “Did I what?”
She pinched his arm and grumbled, “Don’t even start. You know what.”
He gasped. “How dare you! I am a maiden of pure virtue. Besides...” The angel moped, sagging his shoulders in a defeated fashion and gazed at her pathetically. “My prices are too high, and no one can afford me. It really is a shame.”
The demon met his gaze and snorted, unable to hold back a teasing grin. “That’s because no one wanted you. You’re too annoying. No woman wants to put up with your shit.”
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“Oh, that’s not completely true.” His own grin met hers as his arm slipped down to her waist. “I can think of one who loves to put up with my shit.”
Sakura quickly faced forward and ignored him as he drummed his fingers on her hip. She certainly did set herself up for that one.
“How about you? You run around on me while I was gone?”
It was never even an option.
And he knew it.
“Maybe,” she muttered stubbornly.
“Beating a bunch of men half to death doesn’t count.”
The vixen sighed, knowing she’d been caught in her obvious lie. “Where are you taking me?
“You’ll see.” He leered down at her, enchanted at the sight of the woman dressed in a way that neither were accustomed to. “Just look at you, like a vision. If only you’d stop resisting and just enjoy this nice little moment we have going on right now.” His free arm crossed over as fingers slipped under and tugged gently at the outfit’s high collar. “I like you in this dress. It looks good on you. You should wear dresses more often.”
“What’s wrong with the way I dress?” The woman huffed as she slapped away the offending hand.
Ren shook the sting out. “Nothing at all. I like those shorts, and I really like that torn up shirt of yours. It’s so nice of you to show off my mark like that. Let everyone know just who belongs to you. Maybe I should slice my shirt up the same way? Show everyone who belongs to me.”
Sakura peeked up at the man. He was always saying things like this, so open and honest and completely full of himself. But it hadn’t always been that way. She was used to the looks, but not the words and the confidence behind them. “When did you stop being so shy?”
The man hadn’t expected that question, and it took him back momentarily before he could consider it. “I guess it started that last night before I left. I was terrified to mark you.” He paused, finding the right words. “Well, not to mark you, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted that. But I was scared of you saying no. Raz had told me that I needed to stop being afraid, but I never looked at it like that. Only after I asked you did I realize he was right. I was afraid; of Raz, of myself, of you, of everything I couldn’t control. But I knew I couldn’t live like that so I decided I wouldn’t, and that when I finally got out that I’d be a big boy and always tell you how I feel.”
The woman looked away, focusing on the glow of a line of willows, their branches sweeping just above a babbling creek. She knew she should respond, but knowing the right thing to say wasn’t always so easy.
Ren may have been able to, but she still hadn’t managed to figure out how to control her own fear.
He observed the hesitant woman and decided to continue. Push her forward a little further, the way she used to with him. “There were a lot of things that I wanted to say, and wanted to do but I never did. I suppose it’s never too late though. That’s why I brought you here, to walk these gardens with you.”
“Is this why you came to Wei Wen before?” she asked, trying to reset herself, change the subject that she had started. “To see the gardens?”
Ren pulled at her, guiding her down a different path lined with shrubs of rainbow colors. “No. I’ve been here plenty of times to track down Rogue Ones. Wei Wen is a popular destination for those trying to hide. It’s hard for all those spoiled angels to leave behind all the comforts of the heavens, and since it’s too risky to go to Golden City, they mostly wind up here. But I did like coming here at night and wandering around when I could.”
Sakura looked back at the ground, the shame resurfacing. Everything he’d done in The Guard, every awful job he took, every angel he killed had been for her. So he could go back home to her.
The guilt completely consumed her, becoming too much to contain inside any longer.
“This is what I wanted to show you.” His voice bringing her back from the edge.
Sakura looked up, stunned at the sight. She stepped forward, eyes wide, as his arm fell away from her.
“They’re cherry trees,” she gasped. The woman stared, completely transfixed, moving closer to the trees that twisted delicately into the sky around a sparkling blue pond. It wasn’t time for them to bloom but they glowed a soft pink that illuminated the darkness around them.
It was like her first memory. Staring in amazement in her mother’s arms at the last surviving cherry tree in full bloom with thousands of delicate pink blossoms fluttering into the breeze, the land around it brown and nearly barren, the stream and pond barely a muddy trickle. The marvelous tree had struggled through the drought but ultimately won out and blessed them with the breathtaking sight.
And then it never bloomed again.
“This is where I would come every night I came here,” Ren said faintly, watching her reaction. “If I couldn’t be with you, then at least I could be with something that reminded me of you.”
Please.
Don’t do this.
The branches danced in the breeze, sparks of pink falling away and disappearing into the night.
She heard Ren walking up behind her.
Please.
Don’t do this.
She didn’t deserve this.
“There’s never been anyone else.”
Please.
Don’t do this.
He doesn’t deserve this.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”
She couldn’t do this.
Not anymore.
“I love you. You know I do. You’ve always known, even when I was too dumb to figure it out myself. And you know I’ll never stop chasing you, Sakura. Wherever you go, I’ll follow. Just as I always have.”
Sakura turned to face the angel, tears falling, the first since he had left her in the snow on her own. She looked up at his warm smile, his deep ocean eyes, the loving look he reserved for only her.
Ren stepped up to her, cupping her damp cheeks in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid to say it back.”
She was so afraid.
But she couldn’t hide anymore.
And she couldn’t stop the words.
“I killed Raz.”