Sakura looked down, observing herself.
The girls in the village had said that boys like girls with larger breasts. That it didn’t matter how the girl talked or behaved or even if she was pretty or not. If they were big, then the boys would flock to her like moths to a candle flame and fall all over themselves for her attention.
They mentioned Irene; the shy, quiet, banshee girl from the next village over, and how her popularity among the boys of both villages grew just as quickly as her chest had. How it was an unfair advantage, and the other girls would have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition that Irene was now drowning in despite having little else interesting about her.
Sakura wasn’t completely convinced that it was all that cut and dry, and since she had never actually spoken with Irene, she couldn’t know if their assumptions were right. However, that didn’t stop her from grabbing onto what she had as the chattering of the girls’ conversation raced through her mind once again. They weren’t anywhere near what she would consider big, but they were finally something under her hands. At the very least, a little more than they had been last time she checked, she believed, and she felt like they were still growing. The girl was just shy of fourteen now, certainly she had more time.
There was still hope yet.
“What are you doing?”
The demon dropped her hands and spun around, trying not to come across as embarrassed as she felt. “Nothing!” The words spilled quickly. “Mind your own damn business!”
Ren raised a brow, and his lips scrunched, deciding that delving into the girl’s overreaction wasn’t something that he wanted to pursue. “That’s my shirt.”
It was his shirt. Raz had gotten fed up with having to buy the boy new clothes what seemed like every other day since he never appeared to stop growing. Not long after he got a new pair of pants or shirt would it be too small for him, and the man would be scrounging around for more coin. He remedied that problem by purchasing clothes a few sizes larger, giving the boy room to grow without having to spend more in the long run.
Sakura could have easily taken one of his older shirts to wear at night. They still would have been plenty long on her smaller build and just as comfortable. But Ren had taken a liking to this one in particular, wearing it more often and taking extra care in its washing, so the girl took it as her own.
“It looks like it’s mine now.” She wrapped her arms protectively around it.
“No,” he argued, willing to take on this battle. “It’s still mine. You can’t just keep taking my stuff and deciding it’s yours.”
The fox spread her arms out, brows raising, challenging. “Fine, then take it if it’s yours.”
She watched his eyes run over her anxiously, heard him swallow the lump in his throat before he glanced away, the will to fight suppressed.
“Keep it.” He grumbled and walked past her and got into bed, pulling the covers up high and facing away from her.
The girl turned from him, moping, and laid in her own bed as she stared at the ceiling. She didn’t expect him to actually take the shirt, but she had hoped that he would at least go back and forth with her before giving in. She would never admit it, but she enjoyed their bickering even though she acted like she couldn’t stand Ren in those times.
She liked the attention.
His attention.
And wanted every bit of it.
But lately, she saw him less and less, the more he went up into the mountains with Raz and her to the village on her own. It had started out with them going once every couple of days and being gone only a few hours, sometimes half a day at most. But as time went on, the two began venturing out more days than not and staying from sunrise to set. And even when they stayed home and the boy and girl were together, it wasn’t the same as it had once been. He was more aloof and nervous around her, keeping his distance, talking even less, and quickly averting his gaze anytime they accidentally met.
It made her feel lonely.
She hated it.
And she especially hated being alone when he was right there.
The girl waited and listened until she heard the older angel’s snores before sneaking into the younger one’s bed. She pressed herself against his back, feeling the warmth of his body, and waited for him to roll over.
But he didn’t.
He was pretending to sleep.
Again.
“You can have your shirt back,” Sakura whispered. “I’ll hurry up and change now if you want. I promise I won’t take your stuff anymore.”
The boy sighed and rolled over. “No, it’s alright. Keep it.”
It was obvious he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. So, she helped. “It looks better on me, anyways.”
“If you say so.” She could hear the agreement in his voice as his arm fell over her waist, laying straight behind her. He could say or not say whatever he wanted, but his eyes and actions always gave him away.
Gave her hope.
Her fingers picked at his shirt, twisting and rolling the fabric as she stared at it. “Boys like girls with big boobs,” she stated confidently, as though there was no room for argument.
“Wha… what?” Ren sputtered. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
“I was just thinking about it cause that’s what the girls in the village were talking about today. They were going on and on about how that banshee girl, Irene, from the next village, has been getting so much attention lately. They said that she’s not pretty or smart. That the boys only like her cause her chest grew so big so fast. Like it made her a whole new person that the boys can’t resist.”
He snorted. “The girls in the village say a lot of things. Do they ever keep their mouths shut?”
The girl peered up at the boy curiously. “You’ve seen her. Do they make you more interested in her?”
He looked down at her with a repulsed sneer. “Why would I be interested in a banshee when you already make my ears bleed having to listen to this stupid shit all the time?”
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“Shut up,” she growled, pinching his skin along with his shirt and twisting. “Don’t be a jerk.”
He chuckled lightly as she pouted. “All I’m saying is those girls don’t know everything about everyone, even if they like to pretend that they do. I wouldn’t put too much credence into their misinformed words of wisdom.”
Sakura nodded and turned her attention back to her fingers still working at the fabric. “I guess you’re probably right. But do they? Boys? Like big boobs?”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
“You just said they didn’t!”
“No, I said those girls don’t know shit about shit. I never said anything about boobs and their appeal to others.”
The girl chewed her cheek nervously, not sure if she really wanted to hear his answer. “Do you like them?”
His arm moved, bending and running up her back, his finger gently tapping against her spine. “I’m not picky when it comes to size. There’re more important things to worry about than how much fat accumulates in a woman’s chest. It’s not like they can control it anyways, so it seems unfair to make judgments based off of just that.”
She smiled, content with his response. “Are you going to the mountains again tomorrow?”
“Probably. Raz hasn’t been real happy with my progress. Or lack thereof.”
“I can go with you,” the girl quickly offered. “There’s no reason for you to do all that when I…”
There was a light tug at the hair at the nape of her neck as Ren interrupted, “Don’t. You know Raz doesn’t want you to.” He was quiet for a moment. “And I don’t want you to. I need to do it on my own. You can’t always do it for me.”
Her heart dropped but she nodded in reluctant agreement, knowing that arguing would get her nowhere this time. “Are you gonna pick me up at the shop?”
“Don’t I always? You gonna wait?”
She always did. “I guess I can.”
“Always so fucking stubborn.” He yawned and rested his chin on top of her head. “Go to sleep.”
Sakura wrapped her arm around him, pressing her forehead to his throat, feeling the pulsing in his veins for several minutes before finding the courage to speak once more. “I miss you, Ren.” She laid in silence, waiting for a response but receiving only the sounds of the boy’s shallow breaths, before closing her eyes and doing as she had been told.
In the morning, she begged Raz to go along, knowing he wouldn’t let her. So, when the two angels went higher into the mountains, she turned and went down and into the village to help in the shop; dusting, stocking the shelves, taking orders and coin. Towards the end of the day, Okag sent her outside to sweep and clean the windows. It was at these times that she would often see the group of girls who had taken a liking to her recently, and this day was no different.
They waved as they spotted her sweeping and came up to her joking and giggling. There were four of them, all a few years older than the fox. They exchanged pleasantries and the gossiping began. They told the younger girl about the latest news; how this girl was engaged, how that one got caught by her father with a boy she shouldn’t have been with, how two boys were chasing the same girl. They told her about the new clothing shop in the town and how they wanted to go. Said that with how much Sakura was working lately, she could buy the best dresses in the shop. That, perhaps, they could all make the trek together and make a day of it with shopping and eating at a real restaurant.
Beyond the girls’ chattering and plan making, Sakura could hear familiar steps before the girls could see their owner. But when they finally noticed the boy, their voices quieted as their smiles grew loud, and they bumped and nudged against each other, cooing their hello’s while Ren smiled pleasantly and greeted them. Though the boys in the village didn’t pay Ren much mind, some ignoring his existence while others actively avoided him, most of the girls were much more forgiving towards the Fallen One.
“I gotta get something for Raz,” the angel announced, looking for an escape from inquiring eyes. “I won’t be long. I’ll take this and grab your things.”
Sakura handed over the broom, bucket, and rags, and the boy went in the shop, the bell ringing his entrance.
“I can’t believe you live with him,” one girl said as he disappeared into the shop. “You’re so lucky. He’s gorgeous.”
“Angels always are,” gushed another. “Are you two courting, yet?”
The vixen averted her gaze from prying eyes. “No.”
Three of them giggled, not believing her.
“There’s no way. How can you not be? You two are always together.”
Sakura had learned young that people were going to say what they say whether or not it’s true. And if their mind was set, you wouldn’t change it. But she couldn’t just play along with them either. “We’re not. It’s not like that.”
There was another chorus of giggles from all but one of the girls. She hesitated amongst her giddy friends before blurting, “Doesn’t he make you nervous?”
The other girls gasped and tried to hush her, but she continued.
“I’m not trying to be rude,” she insisted. “It’s just that my father said that Fallen Ones are evil and aren’t normally allowed to live. I imagine Ren must be different since The Kingdom didn’t kill him, and I’ve never seen or heard of him being anything but polite. But... aren’t you still nervous he could do something? That he could hurt someone?”
Sakura understood where the girl was coming from since her sentiment was nothing new, and she wasn’t the first or only person to be weary of the boy. But, whether or not her concern was justified, it still made the demon’s blood boil. Made her want to lash out. To snuff out any potential threat to the angel.
But that would only make things more difficult for him.
And he had been right.
She couldn’t always fight his battles for him.
However, she could try to prevent one.
So, while pushing her rage down, Sakura laughed as though it was the most absurd thing she’d ever been asked. “Trust me, if you spent even a fraction of the time with him as I have, you’d realize what an idiot he is. He’s harmless. He even makes me kill pests because he can’t handle it. And like you said, The Kingdom usually kills Fallen Ones. But they’re obviously not too worried about him. If they were, he’d already be dead. So, are you still seeing that boy in the next village over? The really handsome farmer?” And just like that, the subject was changed, and Ren was forgotten as the girl took the bait and opportunity to talk about her latest beau, and Sakura urged her along with encouraging smiles and more questions as a means to keep the group preoccupied with more superficial interests.
As unfair as the vixen found the situation, she knew exactly why people feared him. Knew why he was going to the mountains. Why she wasn’t allowed to go. She knew all about his failures and his own fears that aligned with all of those who shunned him.
But she didn’t care. It didn’t matter if the whole world saw him as evil or not. It didn’t even matter if he truly was.
She loved him.
No matter what.
Ren came out with her bag as she bid the girls farewell, and the two of them headed home. She told him about what the group had talked about with her, like she always did, despite him having little interest. But she didn’t tell him that the one had asked if he was evil.
There was no point.
He already knew.
Everyone did.
And there was no changing that.
The girl’s newest updates came to an end, but Sakura could feel his eyes on her as they walked in silence.
He may not say it.
But his eyes and actions always gave him away.
Gave her hope.
“I’m sorry I’m always gone,” he muttered, his voice remorseful.
“It’s okay. I can manage without you.” She peered up at him and smirked. “You did hear me last night, didn’t you?”
The boy quickly faced forward. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her eyes narrowed, not believing a word he said. But she wasn’t interested in arguing.
Instead, she took a deep breath.
Swallowed her nerves.
And took his hand in hers.
But he pulled it from her and turned away.
“I lied,” he admitted as he dug around his pocket. “I didn’t really get anything for Raz. I just didn’t want you poking around. Open your mouth.”
She did and he popped something inside. It was sweet and fruity, sticking to her teeth and making it difficult to chew. “It’s so good. What is it?” she gasped at the unfamiliar, delightful taste.
“Taffy.” He held up a small pink candy twisted in wax paper. “I saw them last week, but they were more expensive than I thought. I only had enough for two.” He pushed the candy into her far hand and grabbed the one closest to him, tangling his fingers back through hers as the color rose to his face.
“Where did you get coin?”
“I sold some herbs to Maggie.”
Her eyes went wide. “Really?! You worked for Maggie? That must have been awful.”
Ren grinned down at her, blue eyes bright through the flush of his cheeks. “It was. But I managed.”
Without a word, Sakura took her hand back and unwrapped the candy, sticking it past the boy’s lips.
“Oh, it’s terrible. It’s way too sweet,” he complained as he chewed it like cud. “You actually like this shit?”
The girl claimed his hand once again with a tight squeeze. “Shut the fuck up and just eat it.” She listened to him chew and smack the candy around obnoxiously and smiled.
Evil or not.
She loved him.
And she always would.