Novels2Search

Chapter 4 - Return

By legal definition, a clone was an identical, or near-identical copy of an individual, who was not birthed, but made, be it through technological, supernatural or systemic means. Following that logic, one could even go ahead and say that the soul prototypes stored inside Lukas Aguilar’s inner world, while clones, or as the Screen referred to them — Instances, were created, and destroyed right after they had fulfilled their tasks, their memories and any alterations to their spiritual data filed away for creation of future Instances. The instances were not naturally-born, taking their memories, instincts and spiritual data from previous remnants, and the moment they were destroyed, they passed it down to future instances.

They weren’t alive, weren’t dead. They were not part of Reality, but they interacted with it. And even if they perished, the World outside would not register them.

They were forgotten.

When Inanna had reforged him by sacrificing her own Divinity, she had not resurrected the true Lukas Aguilar. No, she had activated an Instance that knew and thought of itself as Lukas Aguilar, and merged her own Divinity with it, elevating him to the status of Prime Host and taking over the Anomaly system.

And then, that Instance of Lukas Aguilar had manifested an Instance of Inanna — one that had all her powers, her skills, her Truth, and had helped him escape the wrath of the Ifrit King.

Talk about being poetic.

That Instance of Lukas Aguilar had perished. His mind had perished. His soul had perished. His body had disintegrated.

He was dead. And gone.

But instance-Lukas was just that. A projection of Lukas the world. Rather than referring to himself as Lukas with an Inner World, it actually made more sense to think of him as World with outer Lukas. As long as the World existed, no matter the destruction of his body and soul, his inner world would craft a body that perfectly matched his own in every respect.

An instance of his Soul prototype was pulled out of his inner-world, complete with his memories, all the way until and past his Death. Much like the one that had perished in the Crypt of Fiendish Worms, this one too was forgotten.

As would every Lukas Aguilar, every Inanna, and every single twisted Creation that arose from his inner-world. A blind spot in the Origin’s design.

It was such a lopsided, trippy concept that Lukas himself had trouble understanding it. And he was the source of the damn thing.

Mulling over his thoughts, Lukas opened his eyes, and stared at the sky above. Instead, the Screen intruded into his vision.

Status

Prime Host

Type

Human

Deciphering Spiritual Constitution…

Decoding…

Rendering Complete.

Spiritual Core

Divine

Level

26

Why was it showing this? From what he could see, everything was fine.

… Or not.

Reconstruction of Anomaly Body has left an unactivated feature

Activating…

New Protocols are now available.

[Association Protocol]

Confirm for Activation…

“Elaborate.”

Elaboration denied. Confirm for Activation…

“That’s not how it works and you know it.”

[Association Protocol] Activated.

Calibration Commencing…

And then Blob climbed all over his body and engulfed him like a cocoon.

Calibration Complete

When he finally woke up, Lukas found himself wanting nothing more than to stay lying down and ignore the rest of the world. That or take a force-blast to his head and get rid of the massive headache he was experiencing.

“Ngh.”

“I see you’ve finally graced us with your consciousness, Soulcrafter.”

“Empress.” Against his body’s protests, the Outsider pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion before remembering how everything had been before he had lost consciousness. All at once, his body went stiff and his eyes darted around at full attention.

He was still in the borderland, with Meynte hovering over him. She was, of course, a spectral entity that was otherwise invisible to others. Blob was… somewhere.

“Calm yourself,” said Meynte imperatively. “Everything is fine. The moment the Ritual broke down, the borderland stopped attacking us.”

“And?”

“You failed.”

Two words. Simple in meaning, but the meaning behind them was unequitable.

Lukas paused before turning to his comrade. “But… I survived. And Inanna’s divinity is still intact. Within me. That shouldn’t have happened.”

Meynte arched an eyebrow. “Do you make it a point to question your good fortune?”

“... sometimes.”

She shook her head. “Obviously, something occurred that we didn’t consider. The World rejected the goddess’s divinity right away. I imagine your world utilized that Divinity to recreate a copy of your soul, and reforged the body accordingly.”

Lukas had figured as much. Scratching his head, he said. “But why reject Divinity in the first place? Previously existing or not, divinity is divinity. Every Truth is born at some point in Time. Even if we assume that Inanna’s past was removed from History itself, nothing explains why the world would reject the chance to assimilate a new Truth.”

“I recommend considering that before attempting another suicide.”

She clearly didn’t take any joy at seeing his face scowl. The smug look she had was merely a trick of the light.

“I imagine my rebellious descendant demands your attention. As it is, it has been over two days since the Ritual.”

Lukas fumbled with his words for half a minute before giving up. “Two… days? You let me waste two entire days sleeping?”

“I didn’t. I just didn’t argue with that metal monster who did.”

With that, Meynte discorporated. Grumbling, Lukas pushed himself up, and offered his arm to Blob.

“Come on, it’s time to get back.”

With almost unconscious effort, Lukas opened a rift into the Haze, connecting the borderland to the natural Rift inside Solana’s office. Despite his best attempts, he was unable to replicate Meynte’s rift technique, and needed to physically open a Rift, and step through. On the other hand, sharing an Awareness with the Haze, however temporarily, allowed him to locate every single Well and borderland connected to it, and could navigate it far better than Meynte ever did.

Now only if he could manage it without tumbling through Solana’s room and crashing against the wall.

Blob entwined itself around his body, reminding Lukas for the nth time that without his increased strength from the constant Level-Ups, it would’ve been impossible for him to remain standing while wearing body armor that weighed as much as a small car.

He stepped through and…

… tumbled through the room and crashed against the wall.

----------------------------------------

Blurry memories of an annoyed skinwalker pulling him up, and Tanya’s voice in the background permeated his head. Opening his eyes, Lukas found himself lying on his bed in his room. Groggily, he pushed himself up and he made his way to the bathroom, where he unceremoniously fell to his knees and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Being reborn was far more exhausting than he thought.

Flushing the unpleasantness down the drain, he stood up and walked to the single jagged piece of flat glass in the tiny room. The yokai had no need for mirrors, so Lukas had altered rock into glass to make do with it. The glass piece wasn’t particularly merciful with its reflection. Bloodshot eyes on a sunken, pale face stared back at him. He pointed his palm at the bathtub and filled it to the brim with a torrent of water from his hand, and modulated the temperature a bit to make it lukewarm.

Stripping, he soaked himself in the tub, closing his eyes. As memories of the past day returned to him, an intense feeling of rage and disappointment surged through him. At least the previous time, he had managed to raise a shadow of Inanna, albeit temporarily. His eyes fell on the pendant, which was still glowing with an iridescent blue, just like it did when Inanna was communicating with him.

“Inanna?”

Nothing happened.

“Inanna?”

Still nothing.

He tried scanning it for more, but without fruit.

And yet the glow didn’t fade.

The pendant was glowing, so he had done something right. But then why didn’t the ritual work? What had he missed?

He knew that Inanna’s divinity was acting like an autonomous system, with protocols fully capable of resisting his and the Omphalos’s attempts until he fulfilled certain criteria. The last time, it displayed nothing else but a prompt claiming that the information he was seeking was Redacted. This time, that divinity was churned out of his soul, used in an incomplete process and then reused to forge his soul all over again.

His theory had been right. So far. Those five components could resurrect Inanna, and maybe they would have, but he failed in getting Inanna’s Truth accepted by the world. Despite everything he knew of her, despite all his memories of her, the system had classified it as inadequate.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Why? He had no idea.

Even more confusing was the Anchor part. Inanna’s reflection had stayed in the pendant — a relic of its own, for who knew how many millenia. The pendant was literally an anchor of the ultimate, perfect quality, and even it had fallen short.

He was missing something. But what? A sixth element perhaps?

Divinity was a complete set. An extremely defined, esoteric set, but a set nonetheless. And somehow, this fact had been, for lack of a better term, emphasized exponentially to the point that it was almost a mystery in itself. The ‘set’ was somehow so important to ‘Divinity’ that even with the other factors being present, it did not count as anything worthwhile.

To use an analogy, it was like five different chemical constituents. He just needed to find the right stimuli that when applied to them in the right manner, could cause them to react in the right way. Whether that stimulus was a sixth variable, a condition or something else, was the question.

His fingers closed in on the pendant.

I’ll find it. He promised. I’ve come this close. I’ll definitely find a way to get you back, I swear.

As always, silence was his answer.

Closing his eyes, he relaxed into the tub. His thoughts went to Tanya, and he wondered how his little weapons were faring. Hopefully she’d give him some glowing reviews about their performance after she’d meet him. Knowing her, she was probably training with Solana right now.

Which was fine. For now, he just needed a long soak.

And of course, someone decided to walk into the bathroom right that moment.

“May I join you?” asked Tanya, closing the bathroom door behind herself while holding her towel in front of her body with the other. The cloth did little to conceal anything the way she was holding it.

For some reason, Lukas felt a little self-conscious. “Tanya? Uh, what are you doing? Wait, I’m almost finished. If you’d only give me a minute — bbwah!”

Tanya had thrown her towel right at his face, obscuring his vision and making him fall back down inside the tub. When he had finally gotten it off his face, she already had one leg into the tub.

“What are you doing?” He asked, but instead of answering, Tanya just turned her back on him and sat down between his spread legs, leaning against his chest.

“This feels nice,” she sighed, snuggling further against him. “I missed this.”

“And me?”

“Mmm,” she murmured. “Did you have a fun trip?”

He thought back to the feeling of dying. About the excruciating agony at feeling his body disintegrate. Being reborn with an ironclad confirmation that he was a copy of the original.

“Yes, I suppose it was.”

Tanya grabbed his arms and put them on her belly, sighing as his fingers began crawling all over her front.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Fine,” she murmured. “Now that you’re back.”

“I’m glad to be back too,” he said.

Tanya giggled and kissed him on the lips, putting her arms around his neck, and cocooning herself against his chest. They stayed like that for a while.

“We should get going,” said Lukas at last. “Or else Maude might come looking.”

Tanya grumbled. “Maude is getting on my nerves. And honestly, it’s driving me crazy. You and Maude get along quite nicely. Even Solana has stopped being a bitch after you left. I’m not sure how you pulled off that miracle, but she’s… she seems almost nice.”

Yeah, he might have had something to do with that.

“I guess me and Maude just understand each other. Makes it easy to get along.”

She frowned. “It took us ages to understand each other and get along.”

“What can I say? You were being rather obstinate,” he teased. “Who knew a round of sex would make you an honest woman?”

“Dog!” She retorted, and bit him in his right earlobe.

Lukas hissed, and tried to grab her, but Tanya was already pulling away, squealing. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her back, tickling her.

“Please!” She squealed, “Stop! I can’t— Oh, I can’t breathe!”

He stopped, and she relaxed on top of him.

“So….” he said at least. “What brought this on? Not that I’m complaining. It’s just unexpected.”

“Well, for all I know, you’re gonna plunge into whatever new craziness you’ve thought of. When else am I supposed to spend time alone with you? I mean, we had just gotten together, and then you decided to vanish into the Haze and leave me all lonely for another nineteen whole days. Not that anyone’s counting.”

Nineteen days. That was… surprisingly small, compared to the amount of time he had spent inside the Haze, where Time flowed differently. It was also the reason behind his sudden reaction when Tanya had walked into the bath without a care in the world.

“I’m sorry,” said Lukas, tightening his hold over her. Tanya pushed herself into him and rested her head on his right shoulder. “It’s just that it still doesn’t come naturally to me that you’d like to spend time with me.”

Tanya whirled around, coiling her hands around his neck as she glared at him. “We’re in your tub, wet and naked. We spent an entire week making out every single chance we got. And I’ve already promised to be on your side in whatever madness you decide to take part in. Take the fucking hint.”

She snorted. Their noses touched. Finally she spoke, almost apologetically. “Sorry. I’m just new to this kind of thing. All my life I’ve only had people use me or attack me. Sometimes I wake up and wonder if it's all going to go away tomorrow.”

“You know I’ll always acknowledge you.”

“I know, and you did. Right from the very first day. I’m not sure why but every time I looked at you, I had this urge to jump your bones. It didn’t help when you took my side against Zuken and the svartalfars and everyone else.”

That was probably Inanna’s doing. But there was no need to mention that.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “If it helps, I found you utterly captivating as well.”

Tanya gave him a mocking grin, before she shifted again, entwining her legs around him.

They stayed like that for some time, basking in the warmth of the water, and in each others’ bodies. As he sat there, more content than he had been in a long time, Lukas wondered that even this, the way he was now, was not a bad way to live at all.

It was almost a shame it wasn’t going to be his life.

Nobody spoke for a while.

“Lukas?”

“Mmm?”

“This is the moment when you tell me what happened in the Haze that’s bothering you.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, fine. It’s a long story though,” Lukas said thoughtfully, and began narrating his experiences in the Haze, how he had traversed across a multitude of borderlands, fighting, growing, leveling up, experimenting, and learning all sorts of secrets of the Ikai Realm and the Universe. He conveniently avoided everything to do with Meynte, and his inner-world, choosing to only allude to the latter, and finally ended with his failed resurrection attempt, minus the entire part of feeling what true Death felt like, only to be recreated with all the memories and snuff.

“There are holes in your story,” Tanya pointed out. “Many, many holes.”

“All boring parts, I’m afraid.”

“And no doubt important parts as well.”

“You asked for a quick description, not a documentary.”

“You’re telling me that you just wandered around the Haze and you got answers to the secrets of the Haze that Asukans and yokai have yet to gain after thousands of years?”

“... I had help.”

“And resurrecting your goddess?”

“The help gave me some more help.”

“You’re being deliberately infuriating, aren’t you?”

“Believe it or not, I was born like this.”

“Lukas…”

He exhaled. There was no avoiding it. “It’s just… I was so certain that this would work. I took into account nearly every single thing I could think of, but I… I failed. All that time, all that effort, everything that I did, and it led to absolutely fucking nothing. And I… I died.”

Had he been looking at Tanya, he’d have noticed that she had turned white.

“I died. Again. Just like back when I killed the Anomaly. And then I was resurrected by my inner-world, because… because I guess it just won’t let me die. I guess I’ll just chalk it to my dumb luck and be done with it then.” He grinned. “No point in worrying about this mess.”

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say.

“No point? No point?” Tanya hissed, grabbing his shoulders so tightly that had he been a normal person, she’d have drawn blood. “ “Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You’ve changed so much since I first saw you in the anomaly. Back then, you were this lean, pale thing with a bag of tricks. Now? Your body has gotten heavier, your eyes have gotten permanent flecks of green in them. Your skin’s got a darker tan. Even your soul is an eldritch abomination. You’ve changed from a lifeforce warrior to a world creating shit out of your bare hands. It doesn’t even matter that you’ve practically regrown your organs several times over during the last six months. Why? Because you BLEW YOURSELF UP! Even Solana’s scared shit of you. Am I missing anything on my list of horrible alterations that you’ve inflicted on yourself?”

Tanya was trying not to be emotional, but she had started to tear up again as she went through the list, leaning into his neck to the point that when she was done, she had a good portion of her own face hidden in his face’s shadow. Her voice was forceful, but her usual strength was lacking. It was clear that she didn’t have a peaceful night’s rest recently.

“I…umm, might have suffered from multiple aneurysms.”

The muscles on her neck stressed, revealing her inner thoughts clearly. “How many?”

“Thirty… seven?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“I don’t know, maybe? At least? It’s hard to count them when you’re having them multiple times every other day? I was fighting monsters there in the Haze.”

“And may I ask how many monsters you siphoned there?”

A number fired off in his head instantly. “Seven hundred and fifty three species. Six thousand three hundred and ninety four if you’re counting the actual number… damn it, Tanya. That doesn’t count and you know it.”

She dropped her head in exasperation into her hands. “I’m stuck between making a snarky reply to your paltry excuse and being stunned at the number you gave me.”

“I’m... sorry?”

“No,” she said. “That’s just it, Lukas. You shouldn’t be sorry. You’re too messed up to be sorry. You’ve put yourself through too much for others’ benefit to be sorry. You shouldn’t have had to suffer through whatever Solana put you through. The Crypt shouldn’t have been able to possess you. Using the memory of your destroyed world to kill the Crypt in a suicidal moment should not have happened.either. The svartalfars, the borderland, facing those bylestyrs and muspels, the King, your impossible job about resurrecting your goddess and all the shit that Solana and Meynte made you go through — none of that was your fault. There was literally no reason for you to be forced into responsibility for what happened.”

She touched his cheek with one hand.

“That’s not true,” Lukas said. “I did all of that because I —”

“Don’t,” she said, her viciousness shutting him up. “Just don’t.”

She stayed silent for a few seconds again. He let her.

“It’s just…” she began again, struggling for words. “I’ve seen how far you push when you’ve decided something. I remember what happened with Meynte, and what you did back then. You could’ve died, Lukas. You could’ve died several times. Meynte could have killed you several times over, but you didn’t care. All of that for me.”

“Which should tell you about how important you are to me.”

She frowned. “Yes. But I also remember what you said. You told her that you’d not fight for me, but for my freedom to choose.”

Lukas blinked. “Tanya —”

She shook her head. “You fought for my right to choose, because you’d fight for your own right to choose. And this goddess Inanna, it’s obvious she holds you in a great debt by sacrificing herself. And I understand that. But I’m afraid, I’m afraid you’ll go too far in trying to get her back and I’ll lose you, and I’m not sure I can bear that.”

Her eyes were glistening.

For once, Lukas felt short of words. He had never considered how it might have appeared from her perspective. “You’re angry with me for jumping into the Haze.”

“No,” she said, vehemently shaking her head. “I’m not. I can’t. I’d be a hypocrite if I tried to stop you from following your own desires, after you fought so hard to protect mine. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll lose you. Every time I leave you alone, I can’t help but wonder if it’s the last time I’m seeing you. You vanished into the Haze just like that, and none of us, not even Solana knew if you had a way to come back. And to know that you — you — You’ve no idea what you do to me, Lukas Aguilar. You’ve no idea how it feels to wake up in the middle of the night, dreaming about how it’s been years since you’ve left. Dreaming about how I’d never see you again. Dreaming about how the next time you saw me, you didn’t even recognize me.”

She pulled him tighter and began to sob.

Lukas felt bitter inside. He didn’t want to hurt Tanya, and he knew where she was coming from. But he also knew what he wanted, and why it was necessary.

“You know what?” He said, grinning, pulling her closer. “After all this is over, let’s go out on a holiday. I’ve seen some really charming places in the Haze. It’d be a nice vacation.”

Her eyes brightened. “Promise?”

He kissed her on the lips. “Absolutely.”

She giggled, and not for the first time, Lukas noted that despite all she had been through, she was still very much a young woman experiencing romance for the first time. He’d have to keep that in mind.

“I visited Haviskali while you were gone. Me and Maude.”

He blinked. “Solana let you?”

Tanya giggled. “We didn’t wait for permission. I wanted to see what happened to Zuken’s mansion with my own eyes. And when we got there, we found that my brother Ultaf and his army destroyed Zwaray Keep and ended the svartalfar race for good.”

“...”

“I swear you can’t make this shit up.”

What followed…

Lukas wasn’t actually sure what to call what followed. It seemed like something from a D-grade Hollywood movie.

“And Solana wants you to become the next Shimizu Head?” he had to ask, and Tanya nodded.

“Ultaf has already stepped on two many toes, and Grandfather will become even less caring of what he does, now that the Shimizu are about to lose their Sacred Eight status if they cannot find me in another month.”

“That’s good news,” said Lukas. “You just have to avoid getting noticed until… I see.”

She nodded. “If he loses the Sacred Eight status, he’ll have no reason to keep Zuken alive. He’s desperate, and that makes him dangerous.” She paused for a breath. “Lord Naowa, the Shogun of Haviskali dragged the issue to the Emperor’s Court. The Earth King helped Grandfather secure a forty-five day grace period. Obviously, this is just a formality. Unless they find and capture me, they’ll lose it all. And I know Grandfather. If that happens, he just won’t care.”

Lukas frowned. “But if he kills Zuken…”

“It doesn’t matter,” she stressed. “Nothing matters. The moment he loses it, he is a loose cannon. He’ll kill Zuken, even if it means throwing the Llaisy Kingdom and Eaborid Kingdom into a war. Even if it means his own death, or the extermination of the clan.”

“That’s… that’s madness.”

“That’s Mujin Shimizu.”

Lukas sat quietly, feeling her take small breaths against his chest. “So, if we want to save Zuken, it has to be within a month. Too soon, and we risk him taking action. Too late, and Zuken’s dead. And we cannot let him find out anything about you being alive. And we cannot face him either. Which makes the day of this Shogun Meet the best time to rescue Zuken.”

He looked at her pleased expression. “So, what’s the plan? I imagine you have something to go on. Or else you wouldn’t have summoned me back.”

“Well,” said Tanya brightly. “I discussed it with Olfric. Escape the city, which was crawling with guards, I swear. The second part is to locate Zuken and regroup with you. And the final part is to rescue him from wherever Ultaf is hiding him.”

Lukas blinked. “... that’s not a plan. It’s a list of things you want done.”

Tanya faltered for a second before beaming. “...Yes. That’s exactly what I told Olfric.”

----------------------------------------