Months ago, inside an anomaly, a shard of a Goddess did something unexpected.

As Lukas’s body lay frozen, stuck on the horizon between life and death, his mind lost in a haze of limbo, his soul obliterated by a memory of a world’s apocalypse, the Goddess relentlessly waited for his return. She was Patience incarnate, and watched as the Omphalos kept trying and trying to revive the body in a hundred thousand ways, all of them unique. But none would bring him back.

And so she did something she’d have never believed herself capable of doing.

She sacrificed herself.

For him.

A soul for a soul.

A shard of divinity for a speck of ephemeral mortality.

And in doing so, he was reborn. Reforged in divinity, blessed with powers that weren’t his to claim. But when he asked her why she did so, her answer was clear.

I was being selfish, she said. The Omphalos wouldn’t care for me, and you were my only hope.

Lukas wanted to believe her words. Inanna was a selfish woman. Nothing she did was without cause, without an agenda that furthered her own goals. Every bit of information she threw his way was aimed to shackle him to her. He’d know, he had fought tooth and nail to keep her from laying claim to him. She had said, even as she faded, that she was placing a bet on him. He had come true for her once, so she was trusting him a second time.

Trusting him with her divinity.

Her existence.

Her legacy.

Even if it left her with nothing. No power, no presence, no faith, and unless he brought her back, no existence.

She called herself selfish, yet… yet why couldn’t he believe her words? Because she was lying? No. He didn’t think Inanna could lie. it was not her. No matter how harsh, she always told him the truth. Sometimes in parts, sometimes not, but it was never a lie. So yes, she was selfish.

And despite what she did, deep within, Inanna just didn’t want to die.

So she did what was necessary. Even if it all but guaranteed her demise.

Inanna was a monster. But in the end, sometimes even monsters cry. For even they, do not want it to end. They simply do not want to die. For all her looking down at him, he was her mortal. Hers. Her hope. Someone that would hold her vigil. And she didn’t want him to leave her. That’s what she told him.

But he thought. Could it be that for once, Inanna just didn’t want him to die? That in her own selfish way, like a young girl cradled in the lap of her dying father, she simply didn’t want to be alone again? Like the sixteen-year-old Tanya, she too had been betrayed by family. Like Tanya, she too was a monster, and had done unspeakable wrongs?

Could it be that in the end, her glistening eyes were filled with fear? Fear of being separated from her mortal? And even if it was selfish, even if they deserved what happened to them…

Was it so wrong?

…

…

…

“I don’t know what happened after,” said Tanya, “Maybe I fell unconscious. Maybe the Frost took over. I… I’m not sure. All I remember is waking up somewhere near the Eaborid border, several thousand miles away from my hometown. I was healed, brimming with more lifeforce I could do with, and multiple Level-Ups registered on my Schema. I was stronger, I was free but most importantly, I was not alone.”

Lukas knew what would come next.

“I had Ezzeron. Bonded to me. I could feel his power, bubbling beneath that frozen glacier within me. His power frothed and spat, wanting to be unleashed into the world, but it was trapped beneath a world of ice. I didn’t know how, but my Frost pervaded over him, and Ezzeron obeyed. Even to this date, Ezzeron has never truly been mine. It has always been hers.”

Hers. The Other Tanya. The other half was the Frost Incarnate. The one that had wanted to devour him, the one whom Inanna had bound with her divinity, yet continued to slip through every time Tanya used the Frost. The creature that could stand against the might of a Goddess.

Yes. The pieces were finally beginning to fall into place.

“She has always been there, whispering at the back of my mind. I— I didn’t want to lose control again, so I stayed away from using the Frost. I focussed on my mental disciplines, trained myself in the psionic arts, and worked day and night to Level-Up and acclimatize my body to Ezzeron’s indomitable strength. It was excruciating pain, trying to limit Ezzeron’s tides of power without destroying myself. I would cry myself to sleep, from the pain, from the loneliness, from just how goddamn unfair it was.,I came so close to giving up, so, so very many times. She whispered to me, demanding to be unleashed. Power more intoxicating than anything I’d ever experience, freedom from pain, from control. But then I’d see my father on that hilltop, feeling the warmth of his hug before…” Tanya looked away. “ And I’d push her whispers back.”

Tanye met his eyes. “Just like that, four years passed by. I traveled past the borders, slipping into Maluscion, hiding myself for years. I did odd jobs, took missions under the table, somehow surviving, growing, looking out for abductors.”

“Abductors?”

“Men for hire,” she explained, “My family sent them after me. It was from them that I learnt that the Shimizu compound was destroyed. More than half were killed. I heard that my elder brother Ultaf had returned from Asuka, and took over the reins of the surviving clan. There was no news about my grandfather. Some said he died, others said he retired, after Ezzeron was lost to them. Everyone thought Ezzeron had slipped into the winds, escaping into the Ikai realm. My description and abilities as an Aeromancer would inevitably tie me to Ezzeron, so I had to take on a new identity, and almost never manifested my kami. Using the frost made my hair bleed white, so I turned it blonde.”

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Lukas looked at her hair. Streaks of glacial white were peaking out of her golden curls.

She smiled, as if reading his mind. “Blame the frost. Nothing survives it. Not even enchantments. I need to reapply it every time I use it.”

He nodded,

“I was skilled, both in combat and manacrafting. I was fast. There was no dearth of jobs. My father told me that he wanted me to be pretty. He didn’t want to remember me as stained. So I thought, I thought that so long as I dressed well, so long I looked pretty, so long as you couldn’t see the bloodstains, I wouldn’t be the monster that took his life. I knew it was stupid, a failed dream, but I clung to the idea. Still do.”

Lukas swallowed. Tanya was… obsessed with looking good. She spent an enormous amount of money on spas, on making certain she looked and smelled well. In all the time he had known her, there hadn’t been one week that she didn’t visit the salons. It was a stark contrast to that feral thing he had met in the Crypt, and now he knew why.

“The abductors hunted me across Maluscion and Baramunz. It was from them that I learned that the Emperor had punished my clan for failing to provide a timely descendant to the Wind King, and losing the kami. Our Sacred Eight status was revoked, and everything fell apart. The abductors stopped coming and suddenly…” Light suffused her face. “I was free.”

“Why come to Haviskali?”

Tanya looked surprised.

“What?” Lukas asked, shrugging. “You were happy in Baramunz. And from the way you talk of it, you were making a life for yourself. And it’s part of the fringes. Why come back, where the Empire could find you?”

The light faded from her eyes. “I… I was being selfish. With no abductors, with my clan in shambles, I wanted freedom. I thought… I thought this was my chance. To get strong. To raise myself to the level where I could use Ezzeron at his peak potential. Become the person my father wanted me to be. I needed access to more difficult missions, and LLaisy KIngdom was my best bet. It was richer than Eaborid, and more welcoming to vagrants. I knew that if I wanted to climb the ladder, this place was my best bet. Haviskali was a small town, and away from the Empire’s politics.”

She exhaled. “I came to Haviskali. Registered as a vagrant. Worked my way through the ranks. The Blues noticed me, and inducted me into their ranks. That’s where I met Olfric. We did many missions together and then…”

Lukas knew the rest. Tanya had mentioned it before. A mission that had gone wrong. A mission where she had committed sin.

She pursed her lips. “It was a Level-2 anomaly. Underwater. I was no stranger to fighting and killing monsters. It was a standard adventurer business. But this was my first rodeo inside an anomaly. Away from civilization, into the jaws of a baby world… I don’t know how to explain it but the moment we got in, the whispers started getting louder. I… I wasn’t sure what was happening, but down there, underwater, I needed more control than Ezzeron allowed me. I kept pushing and he fought me. The water, the cold, the darkness, the scent of prey…. It got to me. As I neared the anomaly’s core, the whispers kept getting louder and louder and louder.”

She closed her eyes and stayed silent for several moments.

“When I woke up, I found myself filled with power. I had Leveled-up, several times. The Frost within me had gotten infinitely stronger and… most shockingly, I was dripping with Sin. There was a court hearing, and Olfric testified against me. He claimed I had destroyed the anomaly core, and killed everyone inside. I… I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t remember a thing, and so, I ran. I ran and the Army chased me. I found asylum in the Zwaray Keep, and then, a month later, Zuken Banksi’s letter found me. He made me an offer.”

“Destroy the anomaly in the desert,” Lukas concluded.

“In exchange for freedom, yes,” she said.

“He ever tell you why he wanted it destroyed?”

Tanya gave him a ‘don’t-be-stupid’ look. “I’m a pro. I’m concerned with the task, not the reasons behind it. Zuken gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse, even if it meant sinning again.”

Lukas chuckled. “And then you met me.”

“Yes,” she deadpanned. “You happened to me.”

Lukas wasn’t sure he liked being described in the same air as one would a lethal disease or misfortune, but didn’t voice it out loud.

“I… I don’t know what you did, but those whispers… you made them go away. I… I had almost forgotten what it was like, without them inside my head. The silence was exhilarating, and frightening. I wasn’t sure what to do. You… your actions made me feel normal again. Made me feel like I wasn’t a— wasn’t a—”

“Monster?”

“...Yes.”

He couldn’t help it. He snorted.

“...what?” Tanya asked, confused.

Her expression made him snort again. Tanya watched him with growing confusion.

“It’s just that… I know a bit about having voices in my head too. It’s funny, when I first got it, I was annoyed. I absolutely hated it. Hated her. And then that hate turned to fear when I realized it was the voice of a goddess, a being older than the known universe and trying to lure me into making bargains. But after I got to know her a bit, and then she… literally sacrificed herself to save my sorry ass, I realized how much I got to her, and how much… I miss her.”

Tanya watched him.

“But you know what?” He said, feeling oddly melancholic, “I know she’ll come back. I don’t know how, but I know she will, and then I’ll realize just how annoying she was. All over again.”

The thought brought a smile to his face.

“You… you really care for this… goddess, don’t you?”

His eyes met hers. “Yes.”

“Do you… love her?”

Lukas stilled. Love? Love a Goddess? Inanna was not human. She was not even a being. She could appear in whatever manner she wished. Lukas was certain that if she wished, she could be as large as a mountain or as bright as a star. You couldn’t love a mountain. You couldn’t feel affection for the tremendous power residing within the heart of a volcano. Her beauty was the majesty one saw when they looked at the endlessness of the night sky. Awe, yes. Respect, undoubtedly, and dare he say a feeling of dependency. But love?

...

“I got you to laugh, didn’t I?”

The corners of her lips twitched. “That you did, mortal. That you did.”

…

“Well?” Tanya asked.

“I’m a mortal. She’s a goddess. She and I had a pact. An accord. I’m just holding to my end of the bargain.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“...Yes.”

Tanya stared at him.

He didn’t budge.

Finally, she let out a loud snort.

He shrugged, pushing himself off the ground. But just as he was about to stand up, she grabbed his arm.

“...what?”

She met his eyes. “Trust goes both ways, remember? I told you everything about myself. You know me more than anyone else. I trusted you, so I’ll ask, do you trust me?”

Damn it. Reciprocation was a nasty son of a bitch.

“...I do.”

Her lips twisted. “Good. Because I’m dying to know exactly what you are, Lukas Aguilar.”

The shine in her eyes did not look promising at all.

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