It's a huge deal when a human loses a leg, much less so when a spider does and even more insignificant for, say, a centipede. In other words, the more legs a creature has, the less it matters when they lose one.

And a few centuries back, a certain mage decided to try and apply this same line of reasoning to his soul.

By spreading his soul across multiple bodies, his continued existence would no longer hinge on the continued survival of any single frail, puny human vessel. Even if his original body died, the remaining ones would easily take up the burden.

At least, this was the theory.

And by making use of techniques whose specifics have long since been lost to the ravages of time, he developed a certain device that, when worn, would link his soul to the body of said wearer.

At least, this was the theory.

And of course this didn't go as intended.

Because rather than granting him a functionally limitless number of "spare bodies," it completely failed at even its original goal of linking his soul to a single wearer.

Instead, the only thing it accomplished was to cause any new memories formed while worn to be shared by all the other wearers, with this "shared memory storage" persisting indefinitely for as long as at least one person was still wearing it.

And so, with his dreams of formulating his own original method of immortality having been thoroughly dashed, the mage repurposed his invention to an entirely different end- the formation of what we now know of as both the administrative base and functional heart of the Adventurer's Guild.

Putting on one of the Guild's circlets grants immediate access to all the information gathered since the formation of the organization, complete with perfect recall completely unhindered by either distance or the passage of time. Thanks to this system, a person who registers in one location can even start doing Adventurer stuff on the opposite end of the continent with zero difficulties whatsoever.

Plus, the only thing needed to do in order to report a completed job is to slip on one of the Guild's slightly-modified "read-only" circlets and allow it to read whatever memories you have that are directly related to the task in question.

...which just so happens to be what I just got done doing.

I put on the circlet, followed the mental prompt to recall the events of the escorting mission we just completed, and had a bit of a flashback to yesterday's not-so-glamorous battle.

Through this system, the Guild itself can't access any more than the wearer lets it, Adventurers don't have to worry about getting ripped off and the clients are also freed from the risk of falsified reports.

The one real drawback to this way of doing things that I can think of is that the process of reporting causes any unpleasant memories related to the job to end up fully refreshed in your mind.

Luckily for me, I've been mostly desensitized to killing people who had it coming.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Mostly.

"Brigitte Martine Fehrenschildt, report confirmed," the clerk lady says in that creepy hollow tone of voice that I've come to associate with circlet-clad Guild staff.

I then hand it off to Yahanaseara, who repeats the process.

...though she does stare at it for like a minute straight before finally putting it on.

"Yahana Seara, report confirmed."

"..."

Dunno if the clerk noticed her sucking her teeth just now, but I definitely did.

Not that I can blame her.

"The Adventurer's Guild thanks you for your continued service," the clerk says. "Upon analysis of your respective reports, it has been determined that the two of you are indeed responsible for the capture of seven members of the Iron Jackal bandit gang, with Miss Brigitte also being responsible for slaying twenty and Miss Yahana two more of their numbers respectively."

"......"

And now her eye twitched.

"Assuming that no additional requests are completed, Miss Yahana will immediately be promoted to Silver-Rank Class D following the end of the one-month probationary period."

Oh, nice.

"That's pretty impressive for your first outing," I say, patting the smaller girl's shoulder.

Of course what I really want to do is pat her adorably fluffy head, but this isn't exactly the appropriate environment for such things.

As such, I regretfully abstain.

"...thank you," Yahanaseara replies, still pouting a little.

"And Miss Brigitte?"

"Hm?" My gaze shifts from the tiny lightning girl to the busty clerk.

"You will be immediately promoted from Silver-Rank Class A to Gold-rank Class E."

"Guh-"

My heart damn near stops, and it's like the entire building goes completely silent, and-

"Hey, did she just-"

"Gold!?"

"Holy shit, I've never actually seen someone get promoted to Gold before!"

"Talk about appearances being deceiving..."

and the hushed mutterings of the other people here in the Guild office are hitting me like bricks to the face because what the fuck I only did what I always do and I wasn't even trying to get promoted so why in the hell dammit I hate being the center of attention

"Normally, a promotion mission would be required in order to advance in rank," the clerk says, "but we have determined that the act of exterminating a medium-sized bandit gang almost entirely by yourself is an accomplishment that is equal in value."

"G... great..." I croak out while forcing a smile that I'm sure looks awkward as hell.

I mean, I definitely feel awkward as hell.

Like... there's never really been any doubt that I'd reach gold eventually, but I'd always assumed that it'd be a big thing where I'd know it was coming long in advance and would consciously be seeking it out instead of having it just kind of thrown in my face like some kind of afterthought.

"As a Gold-rank Adventurer, you are now permited to take on Gold-ranked requests," the clerk says, "as well as claim priority on all requests of Silver and lower ranks."

In other words, now I get to skip to the front of the line whenever I want.

...which happens to be never, since everyone hates it when Gold-rankers get all full of themselves and pull rank like that.

"Haa~"

An emotion-filled sigh from the clerk as she removes the circlet she was wearing.

"I hate wearing these things, it always feels like someone else is talking through my mouth..." she mumbles. "But anyways..."

And then she hits me with that same unsettling sparkling gaze as before.

"...congratulations on your promotion to Gold-rank!"

CLAP CLAP CLAP

CLAP CLAP CLAP

aaaaaagh why the hell is everyone applauding I want to diiiiiiiie

"Looking back on it, I suppose it's pretty fitting that the feat that earned you an Adventurer nickname was also the thing that propelled you into the highest rank!"

Another beaming smile... but this time it's not directed at me, but off to the side.

"And you must be really proud to be partnered up with someone as amazing as the Conductor of Shadows, huh!" she winks at Yahanaseara.

"Of course I am," the Elemental Spirit responds. "Especially since I recognized her greatness on my own, from the moment I first laid eyes on her."

She then proceeds to regale the clerk (and everyone else here along with her) with tales of my battle acumen and foresight and mastery of the magical arts and the embarrassment just kind of overloads to the point that everything just kind of becomes a haze until we finally collect our pay and get the hell out of there.