Nate brought a leg up onto the couch so that he could face her completely. Cat didn’t reciprocate the gesture, but looked at him all the same, ready to listen to whatever spiel he had planned.

“I just wanted to say thanks for giving me a second chance,” Nate said, resting his cup on his knee. “I know I can come off kind of strong.” Well, at least he was self-aware. Cat gave him a small smile.

“Oh, well--I mean, you’re fun to hang out with,” she started, choosing her words carefully. “And, I mean, I’m not really into the dating scene right now anyway. I just kind of want to--” Cat shrugged, keeping her expression carefree and light. Was he buying it? “I just want to hang out, get used to this kind of life. You know. Make friends.” She couldn’t quite tell if he believed her or not. Nate seemed to be controlling his expression just as much as she was, but he smoothed it over, smiling as he raised his cup.

“More friends is never a bad thing,” he said. She let out a small sigh of relief. “To second chances?” Well, this wasn’t exactly a second chance, per se--“And I have to say,” Nate continued as he waited for her to address his millionth toast with a sip, “whatever you’re doing now is working. I mean, you look like you’re glowing. You look gorgeous.” Well, she did just peel off a hundred layers of skin this afternoon. Cat laughed, her thoughts lingering on the image of Kelsey and Hannah.

“We had a girl’s day--” She blinked. “Hannah, my roommate, and our friend Kelsey.”

“Kelsey....” Nate trailed off, squinting. “Kelsey Wood?” Oh!

“You know Kelsey?” Cat realized, raising her cup to her lips for another sip. “I didn’t know that.”

“I don’t know her, know her,” he clarified, shrugging. “The redhead?” Cat confirmed with a nod. “She seemed fun.”

“How do you ‘know’ her?” She used air-quotes with her free hand.

“She hung around a bit. Last year, she kind of saw Cam for a while near the end of the year, and then she was hanging out with Peter a lot a month or two ago; I think they were together....” Cat blinked.

“They were dating?” she asked, a little uncertain. Was that why he pretended not to remember kissing her at Hannah’s party, because he was trying to go after Kelsey? Oh, now she felt like an absolute idiot.

“Kind of, I think. I don’t know. She’s got a type.” Nate laughed, but Cat just pressed her cup on her lips, blinking slowly. She vaguely remembered Cam saying something like that to Peter, about them dating the same girls. Now, Cat realized with wide eyes, Cam was also referring to her. And during Halloween, that moment when they stood alone in his dorm…. “You okay?” Aside from the small tornado in her stomach? Great. She stopped herself from giving into the urge to chug the rest of her drink, but only after the second gulp.

“I’m fine,” she said, putting on a smile. Cat sighed. She didn’t really mean to, but the sound escaped her before she could register what she was doing. “Just, um, relaxing,” she added. Nate smiled at her.

“Good. You deserve to relax.” His words were soft, like he really meant them. And he was right--she did deserve to relax. And the beer and a half was helping. Even though it wasn’t much, she already felt her muscles loosen. “You had a presentation?” he asked.

“Yeah, huge debate. I got a zero on it at first because I....” She sighed, shaking her head. “Well, I got to make it up. And apparently we did okay, but I was so nervous....” Vaguely, she was aware of Nate’s hand on the back of the couch, blurry on the peripherals of her vision.

“Was that against Peter?” Cat nodded to his question, and he raised his cup. “I bet you did great.” She took his hint to sip at her beer again. Her throat didn’t seem to want to swallow it, but she forced it down, and added another gulp for good measure when she felt a cough forming in her chest. Nate asked her something else, but she didn’t catch it. Even when he repeated it, she didn’t hear him.

“Hmm?” She’d almost forgot she was having a conversation for a moment, and nodded, blinking. “Sorry--I feel kind of spacey.” Cat let out a small laugh to keep the air light, and Nate shrugged.

“You’re finally relaxing,” he said with a smile. Cat couldn’t help but agree. After all the pressure she put on herself, it’s no wonder how she reacted so severely to a few face masks and the only weekend without homework she’d ever experienced here. She didn’t have any homework, right?

“Did we have homework?” she asked to herself. Her words felt soggy and slow. Nate laughed and shook his head.

“What, you gunna go do it right now? Don’t worry about it!” He was right. He answered so fast and certain compared to her, so he must have been. Cat sighed and moved to lean back against the couch, but she must have been too unsteady. She fell into Nate’s hand, and her drink spilled just a little bit onto the couch.

“Shit,” Cat murmured, glancing down at the small stain. Wait. Was it that stain? Or that one? This couch had a lot of stains.... But suddenly a warm hand cupped her cheek, and it wasn’t until she could see Nate’s closed eyes right in front of her that she felt the pressure of his mouth on hers. His tongue pried at her lips, struggling to pry them apart; it took her just an extra second to lean back, away from him, to laugh. “I--gotta pee--” And drink water. Really, two weak beers and she already felt this lightheaded? This tingly?

She wasn’t sure why her stomach felt so low, why her heart fluttered in warning. Something in the back of her mind was screaming at her to be careful. And, as if on instructions by someone else, Cat heard herself say, “Don’t wanna pee on the couch!” and laughed very loudly. A few heads turned to look at her sudden outburst of laughter. Nate’s laugh felt inauthentic, but he released her to let her rise on her own, and even offered a hand for her to brace against so she could get up without spilling more of her cup. Why was she holding this? Well, it was getting low. Maybe she wanted a refill. She didn’t remember making that decision, but Nate held up his cup, too. Oh, that’s how, she figured. He was asking for her to refill. How did she not hear him? Or did she just forget?

“Oh!” she sounded, taking it with her free hand. “Okay. I’ll...refill.” Standing here, taking his cup out of his hand, gave her a moment to steady herself.

“And pee.”

“And pee,” Cat echoed. She shook her head. “Sorry--you were refilling, I was peeing?” Before she could fully pull his cup away, she shoved it back at him and twisted around. Something was wrong. She didn’t need to pee. Why did she say she needed to? But she must have, if she said she did. Cat spotted the doorway to the--kitchen? Was that the kitchen? Kitchens were usually white. Or a lot of them were.

“Don’t want to assume someone’s kitchen,” Cat muttered to herself. Somehow, something warm wrapped around her waist. She took a step forward, and felt the resistance of Nate’s arm.

“Just helping,” he said, laughing at her. “What was that about a kitchen?”

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“What about what kitchen?”

“Alright, let’s go.” Hand on her hip, he gently nudged her forward; she could feel his breath on her neck, he walked so close. They’d made it to the small cove that had the bathroom and the way to the small room of doors. Nate’s other hand grabbed her other hip. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered what happened to his cup, why he wasn’t holding it. Then when they’d gotten to the bathroom door, Nate took her cup from her hands and put his hand on the knob.

“Someone’s in there,” he said. “Well, we can wait.”

“Someone...,” Cat echoed, her eyes staring at the knob. It looked like the metal was peeling away. How did metal peel away from a doorknob? But as she tried to picture what the knob may have looked like before, she spun and spun, until something cold and sturdy met her back, and something warm and wet started to suck on her neck.

It took a second, and it almost hurt to think that hard, but when her eyes settled, she could see the kitchen in front of her, and could vaguely feel Nate’s warmth pressing against her. Was he serious right now? She couldn’t even form a coherent thought--why did he think this was the time to try and kiss her?

Though the warmth did feel good, especially with the contrast of the cold wall. And he was kind of holding her up for her, so she didn’t have to put any effort into standing. So that was nice. And after he was done sucking on her neck and leaving her sloppy kisses, the bathroom door opened.

“Ew, don’t do that in there. That’s the only bathroom.” She didn’t recognize the voice, but her eyes were closed. And by the time she opened them, the person was gone and she could only see Nate’s face in front of her.

“Do what?” she found herself asking. Nate chuckled.

“We’re just relaxing.” He kept nipping at her neck, but the feeling was dull, as if she watched from above. “Maybe after this we can go lay down. You know...to keep...relaxing.”

“Relaxing,” she echoed. “Um, okay.” But there was a rock in her stomach she couldn’t figure out. Nate finally stepped back from her.

“Alright, go pee. I’ll get you some more...liquid courage.” But she didn’t have to pee. And if this is what two beers did to her, she didn’t need any more. Nate spun around and headed to the small line of people at the pony keg on the table. Cat’s hands braced the wall now that she didn’t have him there to hold her up.

“That was quick,” came another voice. Cat blinked and stared at the ceiling.

“God?” she whispered. Shit, she was such a bad Catholic. God must have thought she was such a jerk.

The voice seemed confused. “Um, what?” Cat jumped at the sudden sound, and found Georgia standing by the doorway to the side yard, staring at her like she was crazy.

“Oh,” she sounded. “Hello.” Maybe God didn’t think she was a jerk. Maybe he was too busy watching someone else sin to see her disappoint her family.

“I didn’t think you were into him,” Georgia said. Her face was so hard to focus on, but the lights from outside backlit her hair in a perfect halo. Maybe she was God.

“Who?”

“Nate.”

“Oh.” Cat sighed. “What about him?” Did he say something? She didn’t mean to lead him on, but he was just so excited. Georgia made a sound like she was thinking, and Cat took the time to try and ground herself, squeezing her eyes shut. That feeling from before--the sirens in her head, sounded again.

“I don’t feel...,” Cat managed to say through a breath. “I think something’s wrong.”

“I think you’re right about that,” Georgia’s voice had a worried twinge to it; her tone was familiar, like when Cat’s mom found out about when she hit her head. Mi pobre niña.

“What’s wrong?” Peter this time. When did he get here? She couldn’t seem to figure out how to open her eyes, though. “Why do you look like that?”

“That’s very rude,” was all Cat could manage to say. When her hand went to her forehead to try and hold it up, it was hot to the touch. “And--something--doesn’t feel good.” But was it her stomach, or her chest, or her head?

“It’s--it’s only been like twenty minutes since we last saw you--” As Peter started to say something, she could feel cold, small hands pulling her toward the giant, white door that led to the bathroom. The sound of her knees thudding against the linoleum rang in her ears; an echoey voice told her to throw up.

“I don’t have to,” she started to say, but suddenly the sound of retching filled the air. At least it didn’t have that strong of an odor. She hated when people threw up in front of her.

But when Cat opened her eyes to see the underside of the toilet lid, she realized in horror that it was her that was vomiting. Why was she throwing up? Oh, that awful, sour and rusty taste of stomach acid….

“I think--do you think?” Georgia asked. Wow. Why was she in the bathroom with her? That was a little weird. Who followed someone into a bathroom?

“I don’t know.” Wait, why was Peter in here, too? If she could lift her head out of this toilet, she would definitely be having words right now. But right now she could only clutch the sides of the porcelain throne and empty her guts out. God, her stomach hurt. Now she sweat just as hard as if she ran her mile a few moments ago.

“What did you do after you stopped talking to us?” Peter’s voice was really close, now, right by her ear. Cat flinched. Someone moved her side braid to over her shoulder, keeping it out of the way. She managed to sit up for a bit, but kept her eyes shut. They were getting watery. If she kept going like this, her mascara would leave rivers down her cheeks.

“I--we just talked.” Cat’s voice was rough, weak. The light from overhead was brighter than the darkness of her eyelids; the fan from the ancient vent rattled. “And then I....” As her hands tensed, Cat shut her eyes even tighter, and curled further into the toilet for another bout of Ralph and Bart. The metallic flavor on her tongue reminded her to keep talking, but her shoulders started to shake. It was as if her body started to realize what was going on before her brain dared acknowledge it. Her mother sent her countless articles, all warning the same thing: If you feel too drunk too fast, and the amount of alcohol doesn’t match your reaction, run. “I--I only had two beers....” Her face tingled, eyes hot and welling tears. No, she thought to herself. I was careful….

“Oh my God,” Georgia sounded on the other side of Cat. “Were you drugged? What--what do we do? What do we do?”

Peter’s voice wasn’t any steadier. “I don’t know! But--do we--do we call...?”

Cat gasped through the tears that ran down her face; she breathed too fast to fully sob. Her knuckles were as white as the porcelain she gripped, but she still somehow managed to shake her head ever-so slightly.

“No,” she managed to say. That wasn’t possible. She couldn’t have been drugged. “No, I--I think I’m allergic--”

“Cat....” God, not this. anything but this. Why did he say her name like that, like a secret?

She gasped for more air. “I’m--I have to be--”

“Cat, come on--”

“No!” There didn’t seem to be anything else coming up from her stomach, even though it ached so sharply that she wouldn’t be surprised if her entire intestines came out of her throat. She balled her hands into fists, but no matter how hard she clenched, she still shivered. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. That was just some made-up statistic parents said to worry about their daughters. This didn’t happen in real life--she wasn’t actually…. Nate didn’t really….

“Oh--uh, roommate!” Georgia sounded. “Do you have a roommate?”

“No--”

Peter interrupted her. “Yes, let me--”

“Stop, no! Don’t!” Cat cried. This didn’t sound like her voice. Nothing here felt real, not the cold of the floor or the throbbing in her throat. Every part of her felt so distant, like she waded through water with heavy clothes.

“Why not? She can help--”

“Don’t say anything,” Cat blurted desperately. She shut her eyes tight again, this time keeping them that way. Her tears dripped into the toilet; and finally, she had to admit that she was completely numb to the touch. This was bad. Whatever Nate gave her--

“Why not?” Peter demanded. “This is serious.”

“Don’t tell anyone--I didn’t--I didn’t mean to--” She couldn’t hold back her sob this time. “I didn’t mean for him to think….”

“Shh,” Georgia hushed her. “It’s not your fault.” Something soft and wet touched her hand; when Cat looked up, she could see Georgia passing her a wet paper towel. Cat began dabbing her face with it, though her hands were too shaky to wipe away her mascara with any precision.

“Hannah isn’t answering….” She glanced over to see Peter, sitting on the ledge of the bathtub, shaking his head at his phone. “Let me try Cam.”

“Don’t--” Cat started again. She went to swipe at his phone, but her movements were so much slower than his, and all he had to do was move a little bit. “Please, please don’t say anything.”

"Why?” Through her fog, she finally caught the shine of his bright, green eyes; they were so much easier to focus on, the only thing of color in this ceramic closet. Staring into them somehow relaxed her stomach and constricted her chest at the same time.

“I--I don’t know what’s going on,” was the only full thought she could blurt out. Was that her voice? It was so much higher than she thought it was, quieter. What happened to the girl that put everyone in their place? She wanted to feel a fire in her stomach to yell at him, but maybe it wasn’t necessary. Peter’s expression softened, and he just sighed at her.

“Okay,” he said quietly. He slid off of the side of the bathtub to kneel next to her. “Okay. Let’s get you safe first.”