Gadina pulled away her comforter. Her intermittent withdrawal symptoms often caused her to wake up at times when she shouldn’t be awake.

Go back to sleep.

She told herself.

You smoked last night.

She touched her shirt, her chest area was drenched by her sweat. The air conditioning in the dorm room was obviously not strong enough, or maybe she just wasn’t determined enough. It was more likely the latter.

She had tried multiple methods to try and distract herself from cravings for nicotine. However, she had started to think that the most useful strategy was for her to not have any cigarettes to smoke. That is certainly constructive thinking, but before she can do that, she must dispose of all the cigarettes she brought in first.

Or just smoke them all.

She thought.

Until there’s none left.

No.

She pushed away that insane idea. Unfortunately, she still wasn’t feeling tired. However, the girl did not know if there was any possible way to make herself pass out once again.

Gadina remained laying on the bed, eyes staring at the bed board of the upper bunk. Hanister, who was sleeping up there, was as still as a log. Sometimes she makes no sound at all, but would still turn in her sleep frequently.

She suddenly recalled what happened at the shooting class the other day, and the fragrance on her. For someone who had grown up in the city like her, that was a very unique scent. Gadina grew up in a very complicated environment. It was polluted, crowded, chaotic, and filled with violence, both verbal and physical.

Until one day, she escaped. She escaped from where she had previously lived in for many years. However, she still couldn’t leave from the bottom of society. She didn’t have what it takes to do that, and so she joined a criminal organization. While she was there, she saw a completely different world — money, drugs, and power, absolute power.

The existence of the gangland is like an inevitable phenomenon. How tall a building was built, how deep the foundation would go. Not to mention that Rodenzal is a city filled with millions of people. The world hidden underneath is just as alluring as it is on the surface, and also filled with possibilities.

Gadina has been dealing with complicated and fickle things or people her entire life, as well as unpredictable dangers. However, none of these existed on Hanister; her scent was like uncontaminated air. She couldn't smell any intentions or schemes on her.

Gadina had always thought that Hanister's actions were elusive. Now, she is even more certain about her instincts — She wasn't elusive, there was just no way for her to even predict. The urbanites always have a fixed life pattern. A distant feeling, like they are living with a mask on.

Hanister came from the crops section. Compared to Rodenzel, it was more of a suburban area. It was an area that was designed in order to solve the food crisis and lure the Star Creatures away. There is no need to feign if you live there, so Hanister doesn't. That's why everything she did is so direct, and so natural.

Those are the traits that Gadina doesn't have, so much so that the people who live in the cities have lost. It was a kind of emotion that doesn't involve disguising. She continued on staring at the upper bed board. If she did not have to go through the kind of past she had, or be born under such cruel circumstances, would she also smell like Hanister?

It's too late.

Gadina thought. This only made her more certain that Hanister and her are destined to be living in different worlds.

She turned her head and took a quick look at the alarm clock on the wall. She could just keep her eyes wide open until it's time to wake up, but she definitely will feel like passing out at any time during the classes in the morning.

Damn it.

She climbed off the bed, and quietly opened her locker. With a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in her hand, she left the dorm room and headed to the vacant bathroom.

Just one.

She thought as she walked.

For refreshment.

Gadina stepped into the dingy bathroom and headed straight for the last stall, the one that she stays in the most. She lit the fire, but just as she was about to inch the cigarette closer to the flame, some rustling noise came from the stall next to hers.

Her hand with the cigarette froze in the air, and her heart also jumped in fear. She wasn't scared. Gadina wasn't a superstitious person, she could almost count as an atheist. She was just afraid that once the cigarette is lit, the smell will follow as well. Once the smell of cigarettes is caught by someone else, people will know that she smokes in the bathroom.

"Who's... there?" A sotto voce voice called out from the stall next to Gadina.

"Hanister?"

"You're... Gadina?" Hanister answered with a difficult voice.

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"Are you feeling unwell?" Gadina looked at the cigarette in her hand, suddenly not knowing what to do.

"I think it might be my... period."

"Oh," Gadina fell silent for a second, before slowly getting up the toilet stool. "Then you take care. I'll just—"

"Are you here to smoke?"

What?

Gadina's eyes widened. "You knew?"

"I saw you and Sally walked out last night. I was right behind you guys. I watched you walk to the roof."

"You..."

"I won't tell," Hanister promised in a quiet voice.

Gadina stood for a little while she was facing the door, until she sighed and sat back on the toilet. "There were too many people in the bathroom before bed," she said, then lit the cigarette without hesitation.

"You know that you can't be a Shell Wielder if your lungs' damaged, right?"

"Of course."

"Then why do you still smoke?"

"You think I wanted to?"

Silence suddenly filled the room, engulfing the two. Gadina stared at the void of the door gap, puffing out a smoke ring.

"You... still there?" She asked, suddenly realizing that Hanister has been putting up with her hostility ever since they met.

"Mmhm..." A weak answer came from the darkness.

"I smoke because I thought that could make me look like a badass, meaner, you know?" Gadina said after taking a drag. "And that men would want to touch you less since it doesn't smell nice.

"Why would you want to make yourself look like a badass?"

"Where I'm from, if people think that you're easy to taunt, you'll never get to live peacefully," Gadina answered. "And 'cause I'm a girl. If there's a girl as clean and delicate as you are, sooner or later they'll be molested." She continued, but she wasn't trying to scare her.

Silence struck once again.

"That day at the range, you said that you've been using guns since you were ten. Was that also something related to what you're talking about now?"

"I suppose so," Gadina answered. "Not everyone had a wonderful childhood like you did, Hanister."

"How was mine wonderful?" The voice in the darkness retorted, her tone getting aggressive. "My father got killed by a fallen Star Creature when I was seven. How was that wonderful?" Hanister snapped back.

"Then do you know that up till this day I still don't know who my dad is?" Gadina replied, deadpan. It was obvious that she wasn't surprised at all.

"You know why I never said anything about my last name?" She paused, before starting again. "My mom... is a whore. Every time I see her, she's with a different man."

Gadina let out a puff of smoke.

"I don't know who my dad is, and I don't want to know. I don't even care if he's alive or not," she swallowed hard. "I'm sorry about your dad, but the world you live in and mine are still very much different, Hanister."

"Someone loves you, or at least loved you."

Hanister did not respond, then soon Gadina heard the sound of toilet flushing coming from the neighboring stall.

"Just go back. It wouldn't be good for you if you intake too much of the smoke in," she said towards the outside of her door, but there was no answer, only quick footsteps.

She frowned and listened as the footsteps got more distant. Then the sound of water running from the faucet appeared.

"Hey! Are you listening—" Gadina spoke again, but before she could finish, she was interrupted by the rapid knocks coming from her door. She froze for a second, then put the cigarette back in her mouth before opening the door.

Hanister was standing right outside of the door, under the dingy light.

"What do you want?" Gadina asked, staring at the girl in front of her.

"Why do you keep emphasizing that we're different people?"

"Tsk..." Gadina poked her head out and looked around for a bit. She then pulled Hanister in. "Get in first," she demanded.

The girl outside did as she said. The two leaned against the wall of the stall, standing face-to-face at each side of the toilet.

"We can't wipe away our pasts, Hanister." Gadina said in a serious, weighty tone. The tiny spot of light from the tip of her cigarette shined on the girl's face, highlighting the callous side of her.

"Then don't," Hanister answered softly. "Aren't you here to start over?"

"It's not that easy," Gadina shook her head. "We are all affected by our pasts."

"It's also not that complicated," Hanister stated. "You're already here, aren't you?"

Gadina wanted to retort, but she knew that the girl was right. The reason why she joined the S.D.A was to leave her past behind. She kept on forgetting about that, not thoroughly understanding the concept of looking past it.

Changing isn't a simple thing to do.

She thought to herself. She had already taken her first step, and it wasn't anyone else, it was her.

"Can I try it?"

"...What?"

"Your cigarette," Hanister said, looking at Gadina's hand.

"You've never smoked before, have you?"

The green-haired girl shook her head. "But my mother has."

"Hm," Gadina considered for a brief second, before handing the half-burnt cigarette over to Hanister. "Here's a heads up, you might —"

"Ack, ack!" Hanister covered her mouth with her hand, coughing lightly. "My mom said that smoking feels terrible. I guess she wasn't lying," she chuckled as she handed the cigarette back to Gadina.

Gadina did not respond. She only took the cigarette and shrugged.

"If that's it, then I'll just... go for now." Hanister pushed open the stall door, but stopped in the middle of her tracks.

"Gadina, to be honest," she turned around to look at the girl behind her. "You're not that mean."

Gadina froze at her spot, flabbergasted.

“Sadly you're still dumb," she answered with a disdainful expression.

Hanister did not talk back, she only chuckled. The girl left in big strides, leaving Gadina behind standing next to the toilet.

Tsk...

She thought. She hates the feeling of someone seeing through her. However, Hanister seemed to have some kind of specialty that made her not able to hide herself in front of her.

She glanced at the still-lit cigarette in her hand, sighed, and dropped it into the toilet.