Continuing my tour, let me show you to the mess hall…my…second favorite part of the ship after my bed chambers.
Ah, and here is the beautiful Yeoman, Candice Randy. Or as I like to call her, Randy Candy.
“Hello Captain Clark,” she said in a sultry tone. Her blonde beehive hair stood as a testament to her affinity for 1960s GoGo culture. There was enough hairspray in there to preserve a cabbage field. Though, I’m not sure where she got it from…aerosols have been banned since 2059.
“Hello there Candy. I see you’re having your favorite lunch…double cheeseburger with bacon, mayonnaise, ketchup, side of fries, and a soda…where do you put it all?”
She laughed and replied, “Oh captain, you of all people should know that I burn twice the calories I consume. And if I don’t, I can always purge later.”
We both broke out into contagious laughter. That’s when Lt. Fatemah walked by with her tray. She rolled her eyes at us as she passed. I decided to bid good day to Candy and go join her.
I sat across from her and said, “Of all the cafeteria’s you could’ve gone to…you walked into mine. How are you today…my space faring minx?”
“I’m well Captain…” she said hesitantly.
“Please…Ahura…let’s skip the formalities when we’re not on duty. Call me Lane.”
“I’d prefer to keep it professional sir,” she rebuked.
“Professional…is my middle name Lieutenant,” I replied while pretending to shoot a Plasma laser at her with my index finger and thumb.
The mess hall is all good and well…but nothing on this ship compares…to an afternoon gallivanting in the Rec-Deck. It’s a state of the art virtual facility that can emulate anything from combat sports to erotic fantasies.
Inside is a room with a grid on all four walls, floor, and ceiling. The flick of a switch and it transports you to a temporal stasis of the mind with all the soulless automatons you can imagine.
As the door opens, there stands Beta Cole having an in depth conversation in a garden with…Beta cole?
“It is my opinion that the color red is far superior to the color blue.”
“Haha, that may be your opinion, Beta Cole, but my opinion is far superior. Blue beats out red any day of the week…oh, hello Captain. What brings you here?”
“Beta…what are you doing?”
“I decided to have an internalized debate with the outward expression of myself using the Rec-Deck between two different aspects of myself. I, am assuming the role of my relaxed self and Beta here is assuming the role of my agitated self. We were discussing the intricacies of the colors red and blue…”
(Bweehhhhh)
Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
I pulled the emergency stop lever, shutting down the Rec-Deck. The house lights came up and the second Beta Cole and garden disappeared.
“Beta, go take a nap.”
“That would be illogical, Captain. If I went to sleep, who would be in charge of the Bridge while you are off duty?” he snarkily replied.
“Beta…you’re not on the Bridge either.”
The two of us paused. Then rushed up to see who was running the ship.
(Incoherent Spanish) Translation: I’m sorry, but I can’t accept that command.
“God damn you Hector! I’m in command of this ship while the others are on leave. You’ll turn this fuckin thing around if you know whats good for you,” Doctor Hatfield said, shaking his fist.
“Doctor, what are you doing?!” Beta exclaimed.
“What am I doing? What am I doing?! I’ll tell you what I’m doing, you meat suit machine! I’m saving our asses from this terrible idea of a mission. I wanna go back to earth where I was just a Doctor…not a nanny for morons.”
“May I remind you Doctor…” I interjected, “It was…you…who signed up to StarForce.”
“I didn’t sign up for this lunacy! If I had known there was a half witted Captain and human morality code running things, I would’ve ejected before we passed the earth's moon! The only sane person on this Bridge is Lieutenant Ahura.”
Suddenly, Beta stepped up and clinched the doctor's shoulder the way he had mine the other day. Dennis slowly looked down at Beta’s fingers and then up to make eye contact with him, mouth agape.
“Why you stupid son of a…” before he could finish, he fainted. Not from Beta’s grasp, but from a small karate chop by an unknown assailant.
When the doctor's body went limp onto the floor of the bridge, a young blonde man wearing a red uniform could be seen behind him.
“I’m sorry sir, I shouldn’t have acted out against a superior officer. I just saw tensions rising with the doctor and was worried he’d stage a mutiny,” the young lad said.
“No need…to apologize son. The doctor is just facing a bout of anxiety about the mission. I’m sure he’ll have a cooler head once he gets some rest…umm, who exactly are you by the way?” I enquired.
“I’m Ensign Ross sire,” the young red shirted man replied while saluting.
“Ensign Ross…Ensign Ross…where have I heard that name before? Oh, that's' right, I haven’t! Well, just the same lad, a job well done. This has earned you a spot on our first landing team on a potentially hostile world!”
“Oh boy Captain! Thank you very much sir,” the youngling exclaimed.
“Haha, right. Now if you would, help the guards take the doctor to his quarters.”
As the Bridge diluted of red shirts I thought to myself, “That kid couldn’t be older than seventeen. I had no idea they allowed minors on a warship.”
To finish up our tour, I thought I might explain some of the specs of our glorious vessel to you. Your 21st century mind…may not be able to comprehend such advanced technicalities, so I’ll try to keep them brief…
First, the inner workings of the ship…you’ve already seen the bridge, the mess hall, and the Rec-Deck. But the real magic happens in the Captain's quarters. This 16X16 room bolsters a state of the art entertainment system. A bathtub and shower combo big enough to support four average sized humanoids. Rotating circular california king sized bed, fitted with satin sheets, and a mirror on the ceiling. I chose crimson red and magenta as accent colors to the maroon tapestry of the walls and furniture. I’ve been told that the fragrance of the room is that of an alpine lumberjack who aspires to emulate the biblical Samson…though, the actual scent is my special secret.
The Bridge crew have more modest, however, similarly comfortable rooms. Doctor Hatfield and Beta’s quarters are modestly decorated in comparison to mine…and though I’ve never seen the inside of Miss Ahura’s room, I…often fantasize of its mysterious contents.
Lower deck crewmen have either single bed dorm style rooms, or double bunks, depending on rank. There are 347 people aboard this ship currently. All manner of military personnel, scientists, cultural researchers, and support staff. The hangar bay supports five non-interplanetary shuttle craft, with room to accommodate more. In addition, there are enough individual escape pods for the majority of the crew.
For the ship's defenses, the massive outer titanium hull is supported by a plasma generating shield. The plasma acts as a repellent to an equal charge of a discharge from our own plasma weapons. Power can be diverted from the ship's thrusters to scale up the shielding in accordance with the severity of the opposing threat. In addition, defenses, the Adventure has a significant amount of offensive capability. Besides an array of plasma quad cannons, the ship is fitted with two thermonuclear propulsion missile cannons. Although this ship is a peaceful, diplomatic vessel, it is nonetheless capable of pulverizing and knocking any adversary back into their own stone age…just in case.
The Adventure is top of its class in StarForce’s fleet. Among the biggest ships ever designed, she is also one of the fastest. In the earlier days of mankind's spaceflight, it would’ve taken the better part of a decade to reach Neptune. But the Adventure’s Megadrive thrusters allowed us to make the trek in under 3 weeks since departing Earth's atmosphere.
*Yawn*
Wow. All of this info dumping is making me tired. I…think I’m going to go to my quarters and…take a quick coffee nap, before returning to the bridge and continuing my pursuit of Fatemah…I mean Lt. Ahura…I mean, the fertile frontier!