They executed Erik that afternoon, once they’d found the bodies. It was a private sort of affair: no public spectacle, just his softly weeping parents and Drin returning to say it was done. The decision, ultimately, had been left to the people of the town. He would be buried that evening, after we’d already left.

Only Erik’s family had been against the execution.

I couldn’t be sure myself whether I was or not. I tried not to think about it too hard and the day flew by in a blur until we made camp for the evening. There were few trees around; the rolling fields were used mostly as grazing land for livestock. As such, our camp was obvious and visible from the road. Everyone had been at least somewhat prepared to spend a night out, but the camp felt sparse for how many people there were.

I missed Seyari, and Aretan, and Nelys, and a wagon or something as a backdrop. I missed Salvador’s cooking and Taava’s singing. Drin was setting up a perimeter (I hoped just for training and demonstration) and Tren was working to help cook the evening meal. Fira was busy doing administrative work, so I found myself alone.

I walked to the edge of a small bluff and sat down, hanging my legs over the edge. A few paces down, some other loner was doing the same. I leaned back on two hands and realized I didn’t have the others. Open as we were, I was in human form.

It looked like it’d be a clear night tonight, and the light breeze was bitterly cold. In lieu of my tail, I used some of my magic to warm myself up and stared off into the rolling hills. After a while, I felt the uncomfortable itch that always accompanies being stared at.

I looked around and caught the other figure, a woman with tanned skin and dark hair staring at me. A wicked set of scars I hadn’t noticed cut down the side of her face, just under her left eye and all the way to her neck. Paula, I recognized. She narrowed her eyes then turned her head away quickly, almost petulantly. We were too far to whisper—I didn’t exactly plonk down next to someone I didn’t know when I sat down—so I went back to staring out across the fields and thinking about Seyari.

The night was going to be cold again without her.

The feeling of being stared at came again. Without turning to look at its source, I waved at Paula to come over to me. I heard nothing, so I looked her way. Paula was staring out over the fields, but I couldn’t make out her expression from the angle at which she was sitting.

There was no sense in pushing her. After some time, however, I heard her get up and take a step toward me.

And then Tren called that dinner was ready. Paula turned and walked quickly away. After a last long glance out over the sunset orange fields, I followed after her.

***

“What’re you staring at her for?” Tren asked around a mouthful of mystery stew.

Well, it wasn’t really a mystery—I’m sure someone knew the ingredients, but I didn’t want to ask. The bowl of whatever was… palatable.

I swallowed first before answering. “Wondering how I should apologize?”

“Didn’t she want to cut your head off?” Tren gestured a slicing motion with his spoon.

“Yeah, but I guess I don’t really mind?” I fished out a bite with some probably-meat in it.

Tren’s eyebrows shot up. “Can you regrow your head!?”

“Come on, you know that’s not what I meant,” I said with an eyeroll before I ate whatever meat the bite probably was.

“I do, I guess,” Tren replied in a disappointed tone. “But seriously, doesn’t it bother you?”

“Bothers me a ton.” I downed the rest of the bowl in one go. “But I understand where she’s coming from. And, most of the time, she’d be right.”

“So you’re going to force yourself to be okay with it?” Tren took another bite.

I set my plate down next to me and leaned back, putting my palms behind my head, elbows out. “Hell no, but I don’t want her to hate me, and I can’t exactly get her to change her mind by rubbing it in her face how she was ‘wrong’ this time.”

“That’s heavy,” Tren said after swallowing, “So, uh, want to talk magic theory instead?”

“Sure, I guess,” I glanced over at Paula who’d gotten up with her bowl and left completely. “Don’t think I’ll get a chance to talk to her until morning.”

“Great! So how much do you know about the types of affinities?”

“I know there’s fire, water, wind, earth, ice, lightning, force, holy, and mental? And that ‘demonic’ is more like an alteration that applies to those types?” I rattled the items off on my fingers, thankful I had enough digits in human form.

Tren furrowed his brow. “That’s… observational I guess.”

“Is it wrong?”

“Uh, well, yes and no. Hmm, how do I put this.” Tren looked around, his short mop of brown hair flipping into his eyes before he swept it aside. His gaze landed on Fira talking with Drin.

“Something with Fira?” I ventured.

Tren rubbed his chin. “Wait… yeah! Yeah! Fira’s perfect!” He looked over and up at me, eyes bright. “Okay, so you know how they have a water affinity, right?”

I nodded.

“Well, have you ever noticed that it’s hot?”

“I guess, yeah. They use steam a lot.”

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“Right! That’s more like their default, and it’s really easy for them to make steam or get water boiling, but it takes some effort to make it colder.”

I frowned. “But it takes more effort to make my fire hotter, and it also takes a lot more non-magical effort to make hotter fire or water too. Why would the opposite be true for Fira?”

“It’s… more like a matter of efficiency, I think? That’s how they’ve explained it. Like it’s really easy for them to make hotter water compared to other people, but to cool it down takes a lot more mana?” Tren leaned forward excitedly.

“So, like the efficiency of a good spell form?” I leaned back a little.

He took the hint and backed off with a cough. “Yeah. It’s kinda like that, but innate. A part of Fira’s natural magic.”

I smiled. “And spell forms are an extension of what mages can do innately?”

“Yes and no. It’s not… really the same. It’s like trying to recreate nature—more ordered, yet sometimes bafflingly inefficient. I think I have a book you might want to read.” Tren opened his small pack and fished around inside.

“You carry books on magical theory out on jobs?”

“It’s comforting, okay. And if I forget something, I can always look it up.”

“Do you ever do that?” I asked skeptically.

“…Sometimes,” Tren lied.

“Mhmm,” I nodded with a knowing smirk. “Well, whatever works, then.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tren fished out a thick book and handed it to me. “Read this tonight.”

“The whole thing?” I asked, hefting it and flipping through the pages, watching diagrams blur by. I frowned as I realized how dense this book was. It was what I was looking for. I think.

“Can’t you read the whole night while we’re asleep?” Tren asked with a tilt of his head.

I flipped the book sideways to look at a diagram that spanned both leaves. It made my head spin “Maybe, but I do need some sleep.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have to eat to?”

I looked at Tren’s empty bowl pointedly and he followed my gaze. “Yeah, for better or worse.”

“Hey, I cooked that!” Tren pouted.

“I know. So, uh, did you actually memorize all this stuff?” I asked with some very real awe creeping into my voice.

Predictably, Tren puffed out his chest. “Yep! Well, not all of it, of course. Spell forms are different depending on your affinity, or affinities. And a good mage also makes their own spell forms for their unique situation. Fira, for instance, has made a lot of their own spell forms from scratch or by bashing together fire and water forms. Some people have affinities that sorta defy the main types, too. They either write books on their findings, or keep it a secret, but they pretty much have to make all their own forms.”

“What forms have you made?” I asked.

“Oh, just a couple,” Tren replied bashfully. “But they’re fire forms! You could maybe use them!”

“Maybe!” I replied, looking at how Tren looked at me. Crap. I’m not trying to lead him on—gotta bring up that I’m taken naturally. “I wonder if Seyari could use any of the wind ones out of here?”

“Maybe!” Tren said, then frowned. “So, uh, Drin talked to me a bit the other day. Are you and Seyari…”

“Yeah, we’re a couple,” I replied quickly. “I hope I didn’t lead you on or anything.”

Tren waved his hands in front of his face. “No no no. Uh, at least nothing that I caught onto, heh.” He rubbed the back of his head and whispered, “out of my league anyway.”

“Don’t get down on yourself like that!” I replied instinctively. “Uh, sorry, I can hear things I probably shouldn’t.”

“That’s… good to know,” Tren said softly. “Oh, and, uh, thanks? But I dunno…”

“Have some confidence in yourself! You’re a successful mage and you’re genuine.” I smiled back.

Tren just sighed. “Drin says that all the time. I tell her I never know what to say and then she always gets frustrated.”

Oh. Oooohhh. Wow, he’s denser than I am.

I clapped the book between my hands. “Maybe you could use Drin as a soundboard for these things! You two seem like good friends, so I’m sure she’d be on board with the idea.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, totally!”

“Hmm, maybe. I dunno.”

Tren, please!

“Just give it a try, will you?” I wanted to smack myself in the forehead.

“Wait!” Tren said energetically. “How about I try it with you?”

“NO!” I shouted, loud enough for several people, including Drin and Fira, to look our way. “Uh, I mean, Drin knows you better and I’m not into guys so I can’t really give good feedback.” I glanced over at Drin who was looking at Tren protectively between spurts of glaring at me with suspicion.

“How do you know she’s into guys?”

“I, uh, just think she is—demonic intuition.” I scrambled to make an excuse.

“Demonic intuition? That sounds amazing! Could you tell me about it?” Tren leaned in toward me and I backed off, keeping my hands firmly where Drin could see me. I met her gaze with a silent cry for help.

“Uh, listen Tren. I need to start reading if I’m going to learn enough by tomorrow to try some of your spell forms. I think I’ll go do that. Over there.” I pointed to my bedroll with my book-holding hand.

“Oh, well we could sleep next to—”

“Tren!” Drin shouted. “Fira wants to talk to you—it’s about magic.”

I took my chance and escaped to my bedroll, moving it slightly closer to where Paula’s group was. The glance I snuck of Fira told me they had no idea they wanted to talk to Tren. Thanks, Drin. And good luck.

***

Truthfully, I did spend the night reading. By the time morning rolled around, I was equal parts tired and vibrating with excitement. I learned a ton about spell forms, and was eager to explore how demonic mana interacted with my fire and my forms and what terrifying spells I could conjure as the Sovereign of Wrath.

To show off, that is. Like a fireworks display or something. I really, really tried to stay away from the idea of using my knowledge to kill people. I knew I was lying to myself, but it made me feel a little better, though I still felt guilty about getting excited over raising my killing potential.

How very wrath demon of me. The excited part, not the guilty part.

I could combine it with training, too. My spear had been nearly forgotten the past couple of days, and I wanted to learn to use a shield with it. And I really wanted to figure out some way to make weapons work with how I fought as a demon. Something for my tail maybe? I guess Tren’s enthusiasm is contagious.

I was still thinking when a tenuous voice poured water all over my exuberance.

“Hey,” Paula blurted like the word had personally hurt her, “can we talk?”

She stood about four meters away, and I could see the tension in her shoulders through the underpadding she wore. Her boots and greaves were on, but nothing else. Paula looked like she’d barely slept half the night (which was probably true) and her eyes were slightly red.

“Sure,” I replied carefully, plopping down on my bedroll and patting a spot next to me.

“I’ll stand.”

“Sure.”

“Why are you pretending to be nice? What does this get you?” her voice was harsh.

I forced myself to meet her gaze. Her dark eyes searched mine.

“Acceptance,” I answered after a long pause. “I just want to—”

“Save it,” Paula cut me off and broke our staring contest.

“I’m sorry about manipulating your anger,” I admitted.

“Bullshit,” Paula replied, but the vitriol had left her voice. “Leave me alone, okay?”

“Okay,” I said with a soft nod.

Paula walked away back to her groupmates. I watched her go for a moment, then turned away. Something was eating her, but I couldn’t be the one to help her—at least not directly. I resolved to ask Fira later. Being courteous didn’t mean forgoing resources at my disposal.

In the grand scheme of things, what Paula thought about me probably didn’t matter, but I’d always try to put out effort to have fewer enemies.

***

The rest of the morning went by quickly, and we were on the road again in no time. I returned Tren’s book. He tried to get me to keep it, saying it was his ‘field copy,’ but I told him that most of the things I took with me tended to get burned or otherwise destroyed. He shared a couple spell forms with me that I struggled to wrap my head around, and I sent him to go talk to Drin while I tried to figure out how to apply what he’d shown me.

Fira checked in on me as well, and surprised me with a revelation. If they could convince Rodrik, I’d be able to join the Gelles Company after all.