Every day he woke up being immediately reminded of his sister’s gruesome murder. Such a reminder of that moment soured his mood every day right from the start. He thought of how he would like for such memories to be purged from his mind to spare him from the pain born from it.
The familiar’s arm had pierced through Amberilla’s heart killing her instantly. She would gaze up towards that moonlit sky, blood exiting from her mouth as her arms and legs went limp. That beautiful hair of hers would flow down her back as her clothes absorbed the blood gushing out of her recently dead body.
Tears formed in his eyes blurring the ceiling to his new bedchamber. His throat constricted itself and he thought it might not be so bad to lose the ability to breathe.
Since that day, he had wanted it to be him who had died instead of her. She deserved to keep on living. She was more fit for it than him. He did not possess the strength or the will to desire a life that would go on for many more decades.
Someone knocked on his door. He chose to not answer.
They came in anyways even though he made it clear that he didn’t want anyone coming inside.
Just leave me alone!
He wanted to scream. He wanted to crawl away into the deepest hole in the world. He wanted simply speaking, to die.
“I have brought you some food,” the manservant said.
“I don’t want it.”
They sat the tray down on a table near his bedside. “It’s your favorite sir.”
“What did I just say!” He pulled his arm free from under his bedspread and thrust the tray over to the floor. The bits of food covered the dark wooden floor sullying it. The servant began to pick all the food up and try to clean it as best as they could.
Just please, go away.
He threw the covers over his entire body. The warm air exiting his nostrils heated his face due to the covers being over his head. The servant eventually left allowing him to occupy the space alone once more.
Why can’t they ever give me what I want which is nothing? I just want nothing…
No wait, that’s not right. What I want is my sister. I want her back.
I’d even give up my father to have her back.
However much time would pass, it passed regardless of whether he intended to get out of bed or not. The only time he got out was to relieve himself. He avoided everyone and never responded if they chose to knock on his door.
As for where he was now living at, he found himself in a small estate somewhere in the capital city. Since his family’s estate had been burned down, he had been forced to take up residence elsewhere.
For the most part, he had been in his new bedchamber since he arrived a couple of weeks ago after his sister’s funeral. Since then, he had avoided most contact with anyone except the servants. Neither his uncle nor his father had reappeared. The last time he saw his uncle was when they had his sister buried at the family’s cemetery right outside the burned-down estate.
Just like with everything else, his father hadn’t appeared for that moment either. It made him angry just thinking about it. He formed a fist and forced it down onto the mattress. The hot tears ran down his face and he buried his head into the pillow to stifle his cries.
It came as a surprise, that days later, his father suddenly came to visit.
He stood outside and watched as they exited a carriage. His father appeared quite different than how he had remembered him. He had let his hair grow out to the point that he had a large ponytail. At least half of his black hair had gone gray and he had many more wrinkles alongside his face.
But beyond just those two immediate obvious characteristics, when he looked into his eyes, he saw someone who was quite exhausted.
“Raelle,” they muttered.
His father walked up to him. Raelle contained his emotions as best as he could. He could not make sense of how he ought to feel. Was he to be angry, sad, happy, or something else? He truly could not tell anymore.
Their arms wrapped around his back. Due to the height of his father, he was forced to raise his arms to run his hands against his father’s back. He did so for appearances only.
“It’s been far too long,” he said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you sooner.” Visit. That word alone meant he had not intended to stay forever. He was going to leave him again even without having suggested so explicitly. His father backed away and held the tiniest morsel of a smile. “Let us go inside where it is warm and have a nice meal together.”
Within a small dining chamber, they sat together at the wooden table with a tall window behind his father. His father’s shadow carried itself along the table with the glassware being filled with sunlight.
The servants brought them freshly made food and poured wine into a cup for Father.
They ate together for a time in silence until his father decided to speak. “How are you liking the capital so far?”
He dug his fork into the meat on his plate and took a bite.
“I’ve always liked it here,” his father went on to say. “Your uncle has always preferred the more quiet rural areas. We are very much alike, but in that regard, we are different.”
His father’s words began to sound hollow to him. He kept speaking about such mundane things. It was like he didn’t know what to say to him only except to sound off the most trivial things one might say towards unwanted company.
“Father,” he said interrupting him.
“Yes?” His father took a bite from his plate and took a sip of wine thereafter.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
Raelle sat his fork and knife down and put his hands in his lap. “Why weren’t you there at Amberilla’s funeral?”
“I had wanted to go,” he softly said. “But I was not able to be there.”
The vein on his head began to pulse. His father ate more from his plate while Raelle kept looking straight into their eyes. “You wanted to go, but you couldn’t.”
“That’s right.”
Raelle slammed a fist onto the table.
Everything went dead silent. The vein on his head felt ready to burst open and all he could think was how enraged he felt towards his father. Perhaps that was why he did not care what he chose to say next to his father. “It should’ve been you that night, Father. They should’ve killed you instead of her.”
Right after saying such words, he could hardly believe that he had said it himself, and yet he did.
“You have made every excuse in the world to avoid being around us. You wrote a million letters and have said you’re sorry I don’t know how many times now. And now you tell me you couldn’t even be there for her funeral?” He could no longer hold back the tears. “You are a bastard!”
He stormed out of the dining chamber. The mere thought of being in his presence sickened him.
Within his darkened bedchamber, he locked the door not wishing to be seen or found. Now of all times, his father had returned only to disappoint him even more. He wondered why he had desired them to return for so long. In some way, he began to feel the opposite never desiring to see him again.
What good was he? He couldn’t even show up to his own dead daughter’s funeral. What worthlessness. What a rotten person. I don’t regret a single word I said to him.
As the day went on, the light from the world outside his window grew dark. The shadows from the interior furniture spread out further and further throughout his bedchamber. An orange glow began to occupy the space and all he could do in there was lie awake in bed dreading the moment anyone chose to knock on his door.
He always had the same thought towards them. Go away, and don’t bother me.
When the sun decided to hide and the moon came to say hello, he had managed to fall asleep and awaken the next morning with a woman seated next to him.
“Good morning,” she said.
He turned around to lay on his side opposing her.
“Um, your father was hoping that you would be willing to eat with him this morning.” He didn’t even bother sighing or responding. He just lay there and closed his eyes. “He also wanted me to tell you that he’s going to be leaving this afternoon. He hopes that you’ll at least see him before he leaves.”
Her heels tapped against the floor. The door creaked open and she left him alone at long last. How long was she waiting there just to tell me that?
Finally, he sighed.
While he lay there for much of the day, his mind wrestled with the thought of even bothering to see him off. He didn’t deserve it but at the same time, when would he see him ever again?
Everything about his father was frustrating and thinking about it only ever made him angry. He chose to get up, get dressed, and wander out through the small estate in the capital city. When he reached towards the front of the building, he saw his father putting on a hat.
“There you are,” he said. “I was just about to go find you.”
Were you or were you just going to try to sneak out the door to avoid having to confront me? “You haven’t been here for more than a day and you’re already leaving?”
“Unfortunately I have little choice.”
They walked outside where the carriage awaited his father. The sun was down to the west giving the outside space a warm dark morning glow.
He felt those same emotions he possessed yesterday return once more. He felt that he should just stifle them and keep them in the darkest recesses of his mind but for one reason or another, he felt compelled to confront his father for his mistreatment towards him and his sister.
“Why are you like this?”
“Like what?” His father put his bag down and looked down at him as he stuck a hand in his long dark tan coat.
“You’re…you’re just so uncaring. You don’t ever explain yourself or anything. And when you decide to show up for once you leave the very next day.”
“I am regretful that I cannot stay longer. I would’ve liked for us to spend more time together yesterday.”
He mumbled utterly contemptuous words beneath his breath when his father briefly looked away. He snapped his head right around and freed his hand from his pocket. “What did you just say?”
“I said,” he cleared his throat, “that you should just die already.”
It happened so fast he had barely registered that his father’s hand motioned across his face. He had slapped him on his left cheek. It began to burn and intensify as he stood there. It was the first time his father ever had physically hurt him before.
“You are a rotten little boy,” he said. “You do not know what all it is that I have to deal with every single day. Everything I do is to keep you safe and every other person I can. You may not like that I am not always around, but it is for a good reason.”
His cheek still burned. He furrowed his brows and didn’t even want to look at his father in the eyes.
“Keep making excuses. I know it’s all nonsense!”
“Is it? Then let me illuminate that mind of yours.” The sun shined down on his father casting a shadow from his hat over his face. “Our world is on the brink of destruction and many of our diplomats and leaders have been recently assassinated. The familiars are trying to kill us all and they must be stopped. If you cannot understand why those things are more important than me being with you every single day, then I don’t know what to tell you.”
“You could’ve done more.”
“I’ve done so much already.” He said those particular words with an exhausted voice. “One day you’ll understand. I promise you will. For now at least, hate me all you like. I will always love you no matter what you say, do, or think about me.”
Instead of slapping him across the face again, he ran his hand through his hair messing it all up. He patted him and brought his hand back to his side. “I’ve had you coddled for far too long. It’s time you become an adult. I have recruited several tutors to begin regularly coming by every day to teach you lessons. You are to behave and follow their instructions as they lay it out for you. And in four years, you will be attending Lucille’s Arcane Academy. It’s one of the best academy’s so I expect you to work hard so you can gain admittance. They won’t accept you just because you are my son so I expect you to pass their tests so you can attend. The war between mankind and the familiars has already begun and it will continue for many years to come. You will need to become strong so you can face the challenges the future will bring.”
Rather than protest, he kept silent knowing there was nothing he could do. Whatever Father wanted for him was set in stone.
He picked up his bag from the ground and began heading for the carriage. “I will try to visit more often now that you’re in the capital. For now at least, be well Raelle. ”
It appeared that his father had big plans for him. He was not to live a quiet life as he had wanted. He was to be tutored and then forced to join the academy.
Whatever father wanted he would get. Raelle was nothing more than to act as their pawn.
By the time his father rode off along the street, it had gotten bright enough from the rising sun that the aura-infused street lamps went dark.
Once again he was to be alone once more. At least in the past, he had Amberilla to be there for him. Now there were just the servants who he struggled to communicate with.
Just thinking about her caused his throat to constrict and his stomach to hurt. I miss you so much sister. Why was it that you had to die? Why you…and not me instead?