All he ever felt like he did anymore was rest. That was what he was supposed to do, but he felt an enormous urge to get out and do things to aid in accomplishing his goals. It was frustrating to be in this position. To be little more than a person that could only rest and try to recover forgoing anything else.
But as Noreko had mentioned to him the other day when coming to see how he was doing, he did say that by resting, he was in effect being productive even if he didn’t feel like it. Over time, Kiran came to understand that. He wasn’t merely doing nothing, he was being proactive by allowing his body to heal.
Sometimes the best thing to do was do nothing. Or rather what felt like nothing. The reality was that if he forced himself up, he wouldn’t be able to get far or do much. His body was weak and torn limiting whatever goals he might wish to pursue. He’d be a liability just charging off and taking action with his body in this condition. He had little other choice than to accept his given circumstance and rest.
While he continually lay there in bed with his hands neatly tucked beneath the blanket, the door began to open. Footsteps motioned towards him getting louder bit by bit until stopping nearby him.
At first he wasn’t sure who it was. When they began to mumble something unintelligible, he turned his head only to recognize a nervous Aini whose lips quivered. When he looked her directly in the eyes, she averted her gaze instead drawing it more towards the floor.
He expected her to respond, but it appeared she was a bit taken aback as she stood there before him. Ah, she must feel guilty. He felt kind of bad for her seeing her like this. He needed to help rectify this even though technically she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Aini,” he said.
“I-I apologize for disturbing your rest.”
“It’s fine. I was already awake.”
“I wasn’t sure whether I should come by but I felt compelled to.” She paused for a moment trying hard to conjure the right words. “I wanted to say how sorry I am for what’s been done to you. What Laphy did to you is not at all right. You did not deserve to be injured and I suppose what I’m trying to say, is that I’m really sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything it’s your husband who should be apologizing.”
“He’s not the kind to ever apologize.” The way she said that made him think that he had no reason to ever expect an apology from Laphy.
That wasn’t at all surprising to him. Aini must’ve thought that if he wasn’t going to apologize to Kiran, then maybe she ought to do it in his stead. It was a kind gesture on her part and showcased just more of her good kind natured personality that he had seen before already.
“Aini, you don’t have to feel guilty for what he did to me. You weren’t responsible for his actions. He chose to take them himself. I won’t hold you responsible so you don’t have to feel guilty.” He tried to suggest that he didn’t hold anything against her, but the look in her eyes made it seem that she couldn’t help but feel otherwise.
Maybe he had every reason to be angry at her as well. Some likely would considering she was married to him. But at the same time, he couldn’t feel any anger towards her. She was quite unlike Laphy as well. Her general attitude and way of being were in many ways the complete opposite of her husband who was quite cold and brutish.
“You’re a far too kind soul Kiran,” she said holding up her hands to her heart. “But I accept your words. If I may though, would you want Laphy to apologize? I might be able to convince him—”
“That’s not necessary. If he ever decides to, that can be his decision. Otherwise, I think it’s probably best that we don’t run into each other.” I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t throw a punch or two his way for injuring me after everything I have just gone through.
She nodded her head in full understanding. “I’ll let you rest some more. Be well Kiran and thanks for allowing me the time of day.”
He hadn’t expected a visit from Aini. She definitely felt really bad about her husband taking such actions against him. He had saved them after all.
It was a complicated situation for all of them involved. But he liked that she came by anyway. He didn’t want her to be in a miserable state and he truly didn’t hold anything against her. He imagined it would take a fair bit of time for his anger towards Laphy would subside. Although most of his anger and frustrations were almost entirely focused on Queen Luvia Aenveld. It was hard to be more upset about someone other than her after everything she had done to him.
While the morning went away and plenty of light poured into the guest bedchamber Rinas provided to him, the door opened once more. Today was a day full of visitors it seemed as another person came to approach him.
“How are you feeling Kiran?” Hoghdar pulled off a hat and thrust their other free hand into their long coat pocket as they stood by his bed towards the right.
The man who had officially brought him into the coalition looked a bit rough. He had a bruised-up face and a line of cuts across not only his face but also his hands.
“I’m well enough,” Kiran said. “Feeling better day by day.”
“I’m glad to hear of it.”
“I see you have your own cuts and bruises besides me. Does it have anything to do with our area of the slums being burnt down?”
They began to rub the stubble running along the lower half of their face. “It got quite ugly there. While the queen worked towards killing you, she sent her knights and city guards throughout the slums to purge our existence from there. Many of us made it out, but unfortunately, not all of us did.” With the way he said those last few words, it was not something Hoghdar likely wanted to think about.
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He hadn’t received much word of what all went down in the slums. He just knew that when he reached the abandoned state building that they found themselves operating in, it was all on fire along with the nearby area.
“Who all perished?” He hated even having to ask, but he wanted to know.
Hoghdar hesitated in answering but then chose to answer. Many of the names he said were from members he hadn’t really gotten to know. Some of them however he began to recognize. Both Sera and Sara died when debris ended up falling on them. Both Asum and Lorek perished as they fought to allow others to get away. It made him sad to hear that they hadn’t made it. Their talents in fighting however, had managed to buy a lot of people time to escape and get away from the slaughter.
It was quite evident to Kiran that the queen did everything in her power to damage the coalition that day by trying to kill him and purge the slums of the coalition altogether. She utilized a multi-pronged approach during a holiday when everyone would be out celebrating and not expecting an all-out assault. There was also the fact that the slums had been mostly ignored by the queen and the city guard making it seem a lot safer there than they might’ve ought to expect. And then that false veneer of safety within an ignored part of the city became shattered leading to many of them to die.
“I’m sorry to be giving you so much bad news.” Hoghdar managed to crack a smile. “I didn’t come here intending to do that but that’s how it goes I suppose.”
“It’s better to pull the splinter out early on than to merely let it just sit there. I’m glad to know even if the news isn’t ideal.” Ignorance was a powerful thing. Insight often could make things harder and worse in some ways. Still, Kiran liked knowing the full extent of what all happened during that horrific day.
Hoghdar left after checking in with him. He fell back asleep. He eventually woke up when the sun hadn’t fully set just yet. Since he was up, he went ahead and sat up to drink the tea that had been refilled for him.
As he drank out of the teacup, the door became open. His companion Lar carefully walked in with a cane to assist their approach. He was a bit taken aback seeing them as they were. Their body appeared quite frail and eyes sunken in. He had never seen Lar appear so weak before. It was almost like they were an entirely different person than the one he had known since his awakening quite a bit of time ago.
“You’re looking as good as ever,” he said only for Lar to look ready to unleash the cane upon him.
“You’re so hilarious,” she said with a slight cough afterward. She tapped her cane on the floor as she plumped her rear end into the chair beside his bed. “You’re looking fairly rough yourself, although not quite to the same extent as myself.” She sat the cane against the side of the chair to keep it propped up at an angle. She crossed her arms and crossed one leg over the other.
“So I’m guessing you came here to check on me.”
“I did. I wanted to see your injured body for myself.”
“You could’ve checked in on me telepathically. I would’ve gladly saved you a trip and told you how I’m doing.”
“True, but I wanted to see you with my own eyes and due to my current state, communicating that way is rather draining on me. Coming by to see you is also a good excuse to get me to walk a little and get out of that far too comfortable bed.”
The nature of familiars alluded him. Their current appearance made her look at least twenty years older. He imagined as they healed and recovered, they would regain their youthful human appearance, but at the same time, he wasn’t entirely sure. She had sacrificed a lot from what he could tell to heal him. He hoped it wouldn’t have any long-term effects on her body or soul.
“I do have to say though,” she began to say, “you look like you’re going to make a complete recovery.”
“Can I expect that you will as well?”
“With enough time,” she said. “The thing is, to heal that injury the queen dealt towards you, I had to remove nearly every bit of energy residing in my soul. Thankfully it was enough to complete the amount of healing you required, but I certainly won’t be able to do something like that again anytime soon and to regain my previous strength is something that will take a good bit of time.” She sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I’m as good as useless in regards to fighting or doing much of anything for now.”
“I can’t say I’m that surprised,” Kiran stated. “You’ll just have to take it easy then and let me do all of the heavy lifting. I am curious however, is it possible for me to do what you did for me but for you instead if there was ever a need for that to occur?”
“No. Human souls don’t have the capability. Our souls are more malleable and capable of things your mortal kind simply cannot perform yourselves.”
“That’s a real shame,” he said. “I would gladly do such a thing for you if I had to.”
“You say that but trust me, it’s better that you don’t have to have that responsibility. If you had to experience what I’m experiencing, I don’t think you’d be making such a suggestion.” Lar knew better than him on that so he took their word for it. “But I am curious about another topic. Considering what was done to you, are you having doubts about remaining with the coalition?”
“I am,” he said truthfully.
“And you have good reason to. I will say however that I feel as if I should’ve gone ahead and lobbed off Laphy’s head for what he did to you, especially after everything you had just gone through. But I knew you would not approve so I held back.” Lar was much more willing to kill than him. She wasn’t murderous though and showcased a willingness to not outright do things he wouldn’t necessarily approve of even if he was incapacitated. She had proven that by not killing or at least attempting to kill Laphy.
If Laphy had wanted to, he probably could’ve killed her. He likely didn’t since killing her as well would’ve put him in a bad position.
“You made the right decision in not killing him,” he said. “As for whether I remain in the coalition or not, I haven’t quite made up my mind. I will make it soon enough however.”
“Well whatever you do end up deciding, I will accept whatever route you choose.”
What path would you want me to take Della? It was a question that would not receive an answer. He wanted to know what she might think so that it would make such a decision easier for himself. Would you even want me to avenge you by staying with the coalition, and potentially bring down the queen? Or would you have me go down a different route where I could let go and maybe just try to lay low at the very least to try to be happy? He thought he could hear her answer. She was far too kind of a person to want him to take a more vengeful route. Yet, he felt at odds with taking such a route. He had wanted to take that route with Della, and yet it led him here.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong route. And the fact remains, that she is dead. She cannot relay her opinion on the matter. He would ultimately have to decide for himself.
Life was so much simpler days, weeks, and months ago. Was everything perfect? Of course not. But those days reminded him of how much better things can be.
That’s it, isn’t it? I must work towards leading myself to a happier destination. Whichever route he chose to walk down upon, he figured he must try to make things better not just for himself, but also for others.