“Liam, we need to talk,” I said, as soon as I walked through his door.

He paused in his motion, as though my words had temporarily turned off his brain, before resuming putting away his badge and gun.

“All right,” he said, walking over to the sofa.

I flitted over to the sofa and perched next to him. He gave me a wary look.

“Do you think I’m a harlot?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

He blinked.

“Whiskey it is, then,” he said, standing up and heading to the kitchen.

I looked after him in some confusion.

“Do you want some?” he asked.

“Water would be best, I think,” I said. “I think I need a clear head.”

He muttered something, but I couldn’t make it out.

He sat down more heavily than usual and took a sip of his drink, savoring it before he swallowed. I sipped nervously at my water.

“What brought this on?” he asked.

“I talked to Alice,” I said, looking down.

“Ah,” he said. “And she was less than understanding, I take it.”

I nodded.

“She said that I’m just naive,” I said with a sigh. “That because of bad parenting, I don’t know what chastity is, and that I should ask you.”

“Tell her she owes me one,” he muttered under his breath.

He gave me a bemused look before continuing.

“I’m not answering a question like that,” he said. “You dropped this on me with no warning - it’s only fair that you let me catch up before we get into it. Now. Tell me, in essence, what the key points of the conversation with Alice were.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, grinning at his commanding tone, and he flashed a smile back at me.

I repeated the conversation I’d had with Alice to the best of my ability. He didn’t comment, other than to occasionally encourage me to move on to the next point.

“I get the basic idea,” he said, after I’d finished. “But I want to clarify some points. Your parents - they had no conception of sex as anything unusual or special at all?”

“They had slightly different ideas,” I said. “My mother was always one to take what she wanted, in sex and in everything. She was generous when pleased - again, in sex and in everything. She thought nothing of it other than a form of pleasure, and was quite enthusiastic about it.”

He looked amused at this.

“My father felt there were two kinds of sex,” I said. “There’s sex with a person, and sex with a body. With a person, it’s sort of special - it’s a thing of trust, of vulnerabilities, of honesty, of intimacy.”

“That sounds about how most people here view it,” he said.

“With some differences,” I said wryly. “Letting someone examine the inner workings of one of his favorite enchantments was more intimate, in his opinion.”

“Ah,” he said.

“The other kind of sex, to him,” I went on, “Is sex with just a body. It’s where the other person amounts to a living tool for your own pleasure. Just the same as using a carved bit of wood, or an enchantment, or animated plants, or beasts, or…”

“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, holding his hand up. “Beasts? Your father had sex with animals?”

“No,” I said, looking at him in some confusion. “Though I don’t know why that would matter. He mostly cared about his work - finding playthings wasn’t worth his time. He’d share with my mother, of course, when she found some playthings, but for him, it was either my mother or enchantments.”

“When she found playthings?” he repeated, looking staggered.

“She brought home men and women fairly often,” I said. “She’d have her pleasure with them till she got bored of them, and then sent them off wherever.”

He took a deep breath.

“I don’t have nearly enough whiskey for this,” he said, giving his glass an almost sullen look.

“If I’m understanding this right, your… your mother,” he said, as though struggling over his words. “She kidnapped people and raped them?”

“What?” I said. “No! They were always willing! More than willing - eager, even.”

“That’s good,” he said, seeming almost painfully relieved. “So consent matters to them. And you.”

I nodded.

“That’s kind of the cornerstone of morality,” I explained. “You can never tell someone they’re not allowed to do something, with only one exception. If it hurts or coerces someone, in any way.”

“Which is why sex with animals is okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “For the sake of my sanity, Aera, please tell me you haven’t and don’t intend to do that.”

I gave him a confused look again.

“I don’t see why I’d bother,” I said. “If I wanted something inhuman, I’d just animate plants.”

“You’ve done that?” he asked.

“Not yet,” I admitted. “Magic requires a significant amount of emotional commitment, and I was always too nervous and embarrassed to commit to the process.”

“Right,” he said, taking a deep drink of whiskey. “Alice owes me seriously for this one.”

“Um… I’m sorry,” I said, looking down. “I’m not trying to inconvenience you, I just want to understand what’s wrong.”

He laughed.

“It’s fine, honestly,” he said. “Someone needs to have this conversation with you, and of the people you know, I guess I’m the best man for the job.”

“Okay,” I said. “So…? What am I missing? Or is Alice just crazy?”

“Oh, no,” he said. “You’re not getting me into any traps here. You’re going to sit right there for a few minutes, and I’m going to think. And then, I’m going to direct this conversation where it needs to go.”

“Um,” I said. “I… okay.”

After a few seconds of silence, Liam looked off at the wall, his eyes glazed over as though gazing into the distance.

The minutes ticked by with an almost painfully slow pace. I kept glancing at him hopefully, but he was resolutely staring at the wall.

“All right,” he said at last, looking back into my eyes. “First things first.”

“Yes?” I said.

“I don’t think less of you for what you’ve done,” he said. “I don’t think of you as a harlot, or a whore, or anything along those lines.”

“Why?” I said.

He grimaced a little at my question, then gave me a rueful smile.

“You feel too alien,” he said. “The way you looked at me… it wasn’t like you were some weak willed person, desperate for sex in general, or for any sign of affection. Or like you wanted to use sex to get something, like money, or thinking it could get me to love you.”

“Of course not,” I said, startled.

“That’s a harlot,” he said. “Chastity - I’ll get into that, but basically, it’s a way of valuing yourself. And it’s assumed everyone thinks about sex that way. So, if you give away sex too easily, it means you don’t value yourself. But that’s not the way it felt, with you. It felt like you were pushing for sex because you valued yourself.”

I nodded and blushed a little.

“You helped me to not be afraid,” I said. “To be bold enough, brave enough, to… find myself. To find the best part of myself.”

“That’s why I crumbled,” he said. “When you told me what you wanted like that… my god, Aera, you were beautiful.”

I blushed brightly.

“You were calm, confident, sure of yourself, you knew exactly what you wanted, and you accepted it completely,” he said, a wistful tone in his voice. “The look on your face, the way your voice sounded… I’ll never forget that.”

A nervous grin added to my blush.

He shook his head as though clearing away the memory.

“I got sidetracked, but I was trying to say you felt too different, too alien,” he said. “Like you weren’t a woman of my world at all. Like I was talking to a queen in some foreign land, surrounded by her harem and servants. Telling her that she’s weak for having all these consorts at her command doesn’t fit. Though I guess you’re more of a princess in that analogy.”

I chuckled.

“So having sex freely is seen as a weakness?” I said.

He nodded.

“That was the first point. The second,” he paused to take a quick sip of whiskey. “Let me ask you something. After the Cocoanut Grove was on fire, you were upset about people dying, when you could have saved them.”

I nodded.

“Why?” he asked. “Why did it matter if they died?”

I was startled for a minute before remembering the obvious. It’s not that he didn’t know the answer - he just wanted to know mine.

“Because they’re human,” I said. “And because human life matters.”

“Why does human life matter?” he asked.

I opened my mouth to answer, and then hesitated.

“I guess I don’t know,” I admitted. “It was always obvious. People matter. Their lives, their choices, their hopes and dreams. It all matters.”

He smiled with a triumphant gleam in his eye.

“Over here, we have a general answer to that question,” he said. “Basically, it’s that humans are special, because we’re more than animals. That we’re not animals at all.”

“But we are animals,” I said, frowning. “Biologically speaking -”

He cut me off with a gesture.

“This is the point you’re missing,” he said. “It’s not about biology, or science, or any of that. It’s about the soul. Why it matters more if a person is killed than an animal.”

I settled back and listened.

“Ask anyone if humans are animals, and you’ll get one of two answers,” he said. “One is that we’re not animals. Another is that some of us are. Animals just do what they want, what their instincts tell them. A bitch in heat will have sex with literally the first male dog that shows up.”

I nodded at that.

“There’s no thinking to it, no meaning,” he said. “And it’s more than sex. Animals eat when they’re hungry, even to the point of getting fat and sick. Raccoons can be caught by putting a shiny object in a kind of hole, where they could escape if they just let go of the bait. But they won’t - they’ll hang on, to the point of getting killed.”

“So… it’s about making smarter choices, beyond our instincts,” I said.

“That’s part of it,” he said. “Chastity is a virtue. One of a handful of traits our people tend to revere as uniquely important in people. And chastity is about abstinence. Not just from sex, but to abstain from animal impulses of all kinds. It’s the… proof, I guess, that we’re more than just animals.”

I blinked slowly as I took that in.

“Someone who’s perfectly chaste won’t just not have sex,” he said. “They won’t drink, or gamble, or party, or keep lots of money, or eat unhealthy things, and so on.”

“That sounds horrible,” I said, gaping.

He chuckled.

“The idea isn’t that it’s fun or easy,” he said. “The idea is that, someone who’s able to achieve that ideal, they’ve achieved what we all want. That complete conquest of their animal nature.”

“What we all want?” I repeated.

He shrugged.

“We all want to matter,” he said. “We want to mean something, to be important, to have value.”

“That’s true,” I said softly.

“You’ve got a shortcut to that feeling,” he said. “Your magic is so unquestionably useful, you’d be insane to think you’re worthless. But most people struggle with that.”

I snapped my head back in shock. Those words hit too close to home.

Isn’t that how I’d felt, with my family, before coming here? Isn’t that the very reason why I was able to fully commit to being in an alien world for the rest of my life?

He nodded at my reaction, pleased he’d made his point.

“It’s a reason why a lot of people dream of being rich, or famous, or all sorts of things,” he said. “People desperately want to matter, and more than that, they need to believe they matter. And that’s what makes the idea of chastity special - it’s a way for absolutely anyone to have worth, even though it’s hard. They just have to be more than animals.”

“But why is sex special?” I asked. “You talked about greed, and mindless lust, and gluttony, not just sex itself.”

“While we’re at it, let’s add pride, envy, wrath, and sloth to that list,” he said dryly. “Resisting these things, abstaining from these impulses, is chastity - the opposites to these are individually prized, too, as virtues. Sex is special, because…”

He hesitated, and then sighed.

“It’s the things Alice said, in part. But I guess it’s mostly because the world has fallen in every other area,” he said. “Look at the war across the pond, for plenty of that. The war years ago was supposed to be the end of all wars, and yet, here we go again. Wrath and pride are destroying Europe, and countless people with it.”

He rubbed at his face.

“We don’t even have to look that far to see it,” he said. “The rich don’t give money to the poor, so greed has won. Prohibition happened because people wanted to defeat sloth, and it was a complete mess. Politicians are all proud men. People eat as much as they can, especially after the craziness of the depression.”

He sighed again.

“I guess sex is just special in that it’s the last one left,” he said. “It’s the last bastion of virtue. If people start having sex as freely as they want, then there’s nothing left.”

“But can’t people still refrain from these things?” I asked.

“Individuals can, sure,” he said. “But the world at large? Our society? It’s hard to be proud of a country when it’s made up of mostly animals.”

I frowned.

“So, by engaging in such things, others feel like it makes the entire country just that little bit worse,” I said.

He nodded.

“And in some ways, a lot worse,” he said. “The other day, I found a girl, not much younger than you, who’d been raped and stabbed to death.”

“That’s horrible,” I said.

“It’s worse than horrible,” he said. “It’s common. It’s kind of the general idea that, while every society has some parts of it that are just animals, the better a society is, the further it is from that. People don’t want to live in a world where finding a girl like that is common.”

“So then, the idea is that people have to work together,” I said. “To be chaste, and pure, and humble, and so on, all together, and that makes the whole society have more meaning. And is safer from the darker parts of human nature.”

“You’re getting it,” he said, his smile warm.

“So, sex. It’s the last way to prove that we, as a society, are more than animals,” I said. “Is that why you act like it’s bad to have sex with animals?”

“Let’s… go with that,” he said, flinching. “You’d be best to never even mention the idea again. It’s considered one of the basest and most disgusting things in our world.”

“Oh,” I said. “What about plants?”

He rubbed his face.

“That’s… probably fine, I think,” he said, clearly uncomfortable.

Since I was talented with plant magic, that was naturally going to be my preferred method, when I didn’t have a sexual partner - once I worked up the nerve, of course. Beyond that, I was only interested in humans anyway, so there was no point pushing it further.

“So, being more than animals,” I said. “Is that why, when Alice was talking, she kept saying things like, ‘nothing more than a whore,’ or ‘you can be more than just a harlot?’”

“Exactly,” he said with a smile.

“Then why were you willing to have sex with me?” I asked.

He flinched and hesitated.

“I get the impression, with how you were raised, the only difference between men and women is biological,” he said.

“Of course,” I said, startled.

My mind darted back to Professor Rhine, and his issues with my being female.

“Here, it’s assumed that there’s differences,” he said cautiously. “It kind of goes back to the idea of purity - that people are best when we are who we’re supposed to be, when we strive for the ideal. Men and women should marry before having sex. Whites with whites, coloreds with coloreds, and so on. They should have children, and raise them with utmost care. Women should care for the home, and men should bring home the income. Everyone should be kind to their neighbors, and always strive to do the right thing.”

I nodded slowly.

“Otherwise, the world as a whole, falls closer to its base nature,” I said.

“Right,” he said. “And men and women have different strengths, different natures. One of those is that men are assumed to be halfway fallen to lust under the best of circumstances.”

“Oh,” I said. “Is that why Alice said men are dogs?”

He laughed.

“Yes,” he said. “Like the bitch in heat - it’s not just that the female accepts any male, but all the males will rush to the first female who might be available. It’s kind of accepted that, given a chance, most men will fall to lust.”

“So, then, for this purpose,” I said. “Women are the guardians of virtue?”

“That’s a romantic take on it,” he said. “But you get the idea. If a man commits adultery, it’s kind of the mistress’s fault - she should have known better. If a man and woman have sex before getting married, likewise, it’s the woman’s fault. Of course he’ll have sex, if she makes it available. One of a woman’s major jobs in life is to not make it available, except and until she’s married.”

“And if a man rapes a woman?” I asked. “Like the girl you found?”

“If she fights back, then it’s proof it’s not her fault,” he said. “She did her job.”

I blinked at him.

“And you believe all that?” I asked. “You agree with it?”

He sighed and took another sip of whiskey.

“Honestly, Aera, I don’t know,” he said, and his voice sounded impossibly heavy. “Can I really call a woman who likes sex evil, with the things I see on my job every day?”

He rubbed at his forehead again.

“You have no idea what we see out there, Aera,” he said quietly. “I know what evil looks like. I see it when I have to hold a child who’s beaten and terrified of his parents, but even more scared of me, because they’re all he knows. I see it when some young punk casually murders someone for a few bucks. Or when one of my coworkers can’t take the pain of caring anymore, and just gives in. Takes some bribes, and drinks the pain away.”

He gave me a sad smile.

“I saw it painted on the walls of a butcher shop, a few months ago,” he said. “And in the bullet holes of someone’s home, with hate painted on her front walls.”

I took his hand, and he squeezed it appreciatively.

“I’ve got it easier with us, Aera,” he said with a sigh. “People may be disappointed in me for falling to your charms, but it’s half expected, and thus forgivable. But with you being a woman…”

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“Then I’m a sign of bringing down society, as a whole,” I said.

He nodded.

“Do you think what we did is wrong, though?” I asked. “Either that I did wrong, or you did?”

He hesitated and my heart sank.

“Sometimes I have no idea what is wrong,” he said, spinning his glass slowly in front of his face. “Some things are obvious. Killing people. Stealing. Taking advantage of beautiful young women from another world.”

He shot me a wry smile at that, and I smiled back.

“A lot of people think drinking is wrong,” he said, and lifted his glass to me. “Any alcohol, at all. Hence prohibition. So, ‘what we did’ was wrong by some measures, before we even discussed the matter.”

I nodded.

“I was raised Irish Catholic,” he said, going back to looking at his glass. “The church has lots of opinions on what is right and wrong. But…”

His gaze turned distant.

“A lot of the worst things I see are committed by religious people,” he said. “Coworkers, too, that…”

He hesitated.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe I’m damned because I gave up on the church. Maybe there is someone up there who would rather I confess to a priest every week, and take bribes, instead of having sex with a woman who wants me, and do my damnedest to make my city safe. How am I supposed to know?”

“For what it’s worth, I see no sign that such a being exists,” I said.

“Neither do I,” he said, and then looked at me. “Fact is, Aera, I just can’t. I can’t get tangled up in little questions of right and wrong, not with what I work with. Maybe what we did is wrong. Maybe it’s fine. I just don’t know. All I know is that I’m trying my best, and when I die, I guess I’ll find out if it was good enough.”

I squeezed his hand and my heart ached.

“My mother would never be a person to look at for things like ‘rising above your base nature,’ or ‘restraint,’ or sanity in general, really,” I said, and he chuckled. “My father, though… he was very gentle.”

Liam’s endlessly inquisitive eyes held my own.

“My father’s approach was that the only way to truly conquer something was to truly know it,” I said. “He helped kill my taste for sugar by letting me eat as much as I wanted, and didn’t take away my nausea, for instance. I felt wretched for days, and all the result of my own choice.”

“Interesting take,” he said.

“He said nothing is more alluring than the forbidden, and the unknown,” he said. “Cake always looks more delicious than it tastes, as it were.”

“Especially cake that you’re not allowed to have,” he said with a chuckle.

“Exactly,” I said, smiling. “He didn’t talk about human nature in these terms, but I know what he would say - if human nature is a dog, it should be well treated and beloved, as one’s servant and best friend, not beaten and outcast.”

“And if that ‘dog’ proves stronger than you?” he asked.

I flinched.

“Well, honestly, he would say that would demonstrate who you truly are,” I said. “And if you’re not strong enough to be more than nothing, then you have no more worth than a corpse.”

“That’s harsh,” he said.

“My whole world is that way,” I said. “Populations continually expand and are destroyed, in unending waves. Death is commonplace, and only spellcasters have any ability to resist its call.”

“I guess the intricacies of morality weren’t an issue,” he said.

“No,” I said. “No, intricacies were a thing. I remember the most painful and powerful lesson my father ever taught me. I didn’t even know it was a lesson for a long time.”

“What happened?” he asked.

“I was maybe thirteen or fourteen,” I said. “We moved, as we sometimes did. This time, we moved to the outskirts of a small village. It was generally ordinary, except for one oddity.”

“Oh?” he asked.

“There were no spellcasters,” I said. “Not one, in the whole town. And there hadn’t been, for a few years.”

“Which means what?” he asked.

“We have no doctors, in our world,” I said, and his eyes flashed with understanding. “We have no real sense of engineering principles, or metallurgy, or science at all, really. Scientific principles are only explored by spellcasters, in context of magic, as a rule.”

“Non spellcasters never try?” he asked.

“Mundanes is the best translation, I think,” I said. “And why would they bother? They had a hand-to-mouth existence, fighting to survive despite a deadly world. Those that rose above the ordinary would either become spellcasters themselves, or be sort of picked up and sponsored by one.”

“I see,” he said. “So this town was in bad straits.”

I nodded.

“It functioned well enough, to my young eyes,” I said. “I thought nothing of it. My parents were distant and aloof to the town, to a degree I didn’t then understand - they were normally helpful and generous. I later realized this was part of my father’s plan.

“At first, my brothers and I played with the local children. They thought we were just the children of some random spellcasters, and had no idea that we all could use magic ourselves. It’s rare for the young to have any real skill.

“Until one day, when one of the children we played with slipped and hurt his leg. It wasn’t all that bad, really. Just a gash. As soon as he said it meant he had to go home, I healed it without a second thought. After all, I wanted to keep playing.”

“So they found out about you,” he said.

I nodded.

“The children didn’t understand what had happened,” I said. “They thought it was fun - a new toy, of sorts. My brothers and I were happy to demonstrate, and for a short while, we had an amazing time showing them magical games. Then, of course, the parents found out that I could heal.

“My brothers are younger than I, and neither are talented at healing magic. So, it was just me. At first, it was a simple little thing. One of the children asked me if I’d fix his father’s arm. Then someone’s illness. Then someone’s eyes. Then a disease that had harmed the livestock.”

His face tightened. “They were having you fix everything.”

“Yes,” I said with a sigh. “My brothers were asked to help with some things, like scaring away beasts, or hunting. But my strengths were called on most. Soon, I went home exhausted each night, barely able to stand. I was only a child - I just didn’t have the strength to support the needs of the entire town.”

He nodded.

“At first, they were incredibly grateful,” I said. “They lavished me with praise and gifts. But over just a few months, they became demanding and entitled. They acted like healing was easy, like wanting to go play instead was just being a selfish child. I just wanted to help, though, not be made a slave.

“And then, the worst thing happened. As my father knew it eventually would. Someone was critically injured, and I was practically dragged to the rescue.”

I smiled sadly.

“He’d been skewered by one of the cattle - not too dissimilar to bulls, here. One of its horns had stabbed right through his chest.”

“He was alive after that?” Liam asked.

“They killed the beast, and the horn held the blood in,” I said. “They brought me right to the scene. At first, I didn’t really grasp how bad it was - all sorts of things bleed badly, and even by that age, there was no single system, aside from the brain, that I couldn’t fix at least reasonably well.

“But this was a massive wound. His stomach had been torn open, and the acid was in his blood. A muscle below the ribs that helps control breathing was completely rent. The ribs on his right side had been broken, and were skewering his lungs. Beyond that, he was also bleeding rapidly enough that I had minutes, at most, before his death.”

I sighed at the memory.

“I froze,” I admitted, and tried to keep tears from welling. “I panicked. I’d go and try to heal one thing, and then decide that, surely, this other part was more important, and change course. Fear paralyzes magic, and one of the few ways to overcome that is by pouring in additional power.”

“So you were exhausted,” he said.

“Like never before,” I said. “Not only was I pouring out more power than I could wield, burning my own mind, body, and spirit in the effort, my efforts frequently failed, due to my own panic. Had I had someone there, reassuring and guiding me, I’d have saved him. Had I even had faith in myself, I’m sure he’d have been fine. Instead…”

He squeezed my hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “You were too young for that.”

“I kept trying, even after it was too late,” I said, tears starting to flow freely. “They didn’t know it was too late, so they just let me stay there, weeping onto his body, as I poured out magic into a corpse. I was unwilling to give up. And so I woke up, two days later, in the home of one of the villagers.”

He pulled me into his arms, and his warmth soothed the ache of the memory.

“The man’s wife was understanding,” I said. “I didn’t grasp how she could forgive me for failing, but she did. She thanked me for trying so hard. The man’s son, though…”

I swallowed.

“He’d seen me playing with flowers the day before,” I said. “He screamed at me, saying if I hadn’t wasted my magic on flowers, I’d have saved his father. I didn’t know if he was right, so I just ran. I ran and ran, until I was back home. My mother took one look at me, and swept me up in her arms. My father joined her shortly afterwards.

“After I’d explained what happened, I lashed out at them. I told them that they were terrible, that they could have saved that man, that if I’d had their help, he’d have been alive. I got angrier when they didn’t get upset at me. When my father simply told me I was correct.”

I took a deep breath.

“He went and got a map of the world. He sat down next to me and showed it to me. ‘Every one of these glowing spots is a city,’ he told me. ‘Within the next month, every single one of these places will have someone die before their time, and we can save them. Where shall we move next, Aera?’”

“That’s cruel,” Liam said, pulling me closer to him. “You were far too young for that!”

“No, I wasn’t,” I said. “That’s what being a powerful spellcaster means, in that world. They could either hide it from me, or let me find it on my own. They chose to try to warn me, and then let me find it in a controlled way.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that asking you that question is cruel,” he said.

“Crueler than letting me realize it somewhere other than in the arms of those who loved me, who understood, and desperately wanted to do the right thing?” I asked.

He frowned at that.

“None of my lessons ever struck home as deeply as that one,” I said. “But while that moment, that realization of the damning power to choose particularly struck me, so, too, did my father’s words afterwards.”

Liam stroked my hair.

“He told me that I will have times when I believe the choices he and my mother made were wrong,” I said, smiling sadly at the memory of Alice calling them monsters. “He said that it was inevitable, as I grew, and there was a good chance they’d even agree with me at times. Especially in hindsight. But, while morality was complicated, painful, and seemingly impossible at times, there was only one truth that I could hold to, with utter certainty.”

I smiled up at Liam.

“Good intentions may fail, but they are still good,” I said. “The only thing that is unquestionably good is choosing to try to do the right thing. To learn, to grow, to improve, to unendingly hold moral values as the center focus of life. Even if you fail, even if you realize you could have done more, even if you moved to the wrong city… as long as you live, you can keep trying.”

I stroked his stubble as he looked into my eyes.

“That man died that day,” I said. “But my father reminded me of the lives that I had saved in those few months, too. Our being there had been a blessing to that town, even though I couldn’t fix everything. My brothers and I decided together what parting gift my parents should make for the town, and then they let me decide where we should move next. Not to mourn those who we chose not to save, but to choose where to go, to decide what part of the world we could touch, and make better.”

His eyes were so beautiful as a small smile lifted his cheeks.

“By the measure by which I was raised, Liam, you are an angel among men,” I said. “Perhaps if you and I were to try to adopt the stringent values of this society, we could strive to make this world better in every way. Maybe there is some merit to these virtues, like chastity. But I’ve already learned that even if we can do anything, we can’t do everything. We will overextend ourselves, we will fail, and opportunities to do good things will be lost.”

I pulled myself up to my knees and held his face in my hands, admiring the texture.

“So let’s not worry about trying to be this virtuous, underlying fabric of society, you and I,” I said. “We have the power to make the world better in concrete ways, not just abstract ones.”

He smiled wryly.

“Things like chastity are just for lesser people, then?” he asked.

I frowned at that.

“You don’t have to persuade me to have sex with you,” he said with a chuckle. “You’ve already done that. I may not have everything figured out, but I’m fine with where things stand.

“As for you, though,” he continued. “Question is whether you think the idea of the virtues have merit, and if so, whether they should be applied differently to you, because of your power. If they matter, then magic or not, Alice is right to call you a harlot and distance herself.”

I blinked in surprise and pulled back.

“Got you there, didn’t I?” he said, laughing, and I scowled.

“Look, Aera,” he said. “One way or another, the values of this society are different for you. Way I see it, you’ve got just a few choices available.”

“Okay,” I said hesitantly.

“One option is to embrace these values,” he said. “If you do, then you’d have to see us having sex outside of marriage as wrong.”

“Like you do?” I asked, challengingly.

“Like I said, I don’t embrace them myself anymore,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve given up on the church and a lot of ideas that people hold as sacred. I’ve resigned myself to doing the best I can in a messed up world.”

“Like my parents,” I said.

He smiled ruefully, “I don’t know if I like that comparison. I may need to hear some more of these stories, what with Alice saying they’re vile monsters.”

“They’re good people,” I said. “Alice was wrong about them, and she’s wrong about me.”

“Then that suggests that option isn’t for you,” he said. “Another is to falsely adopt these values - to live by standards you don’t agree with, so that people will think better of you.”

I scowled at that.

“A third choice,” he said, chuckling at my reaction, “Is to live according to what you think is right, hiding your actions from others, and knowing that you’ll be despised if you’re found out.”

My scowl deepened.

“And then, the fourth option, you could just accept that you live differently, and accept that you’ll be hated for it,” he said. “To do your thing and not hide it. You’d have lots of hate on your shoulders, for probably your entire life.”

“And the fifth option?” I asked, hoping he’d saved the best for last.

“I don’t see a fifth option,” he said, shrugging. “Follow the standards, honestly or not. Reject the standards, openly or not. That’s pretty much it.”

“With no clear idea about what is actually the right answer,” I said.

“Wasn’t that what your father was getting at?” he said. “That there are no right answers, just attempts to do the right thing?”

I groaned.

“Maybe we should just have wild, distractingly intense sex, and forget this conversation ever happened,” I muttered.

He laughed hard at that.

“In all honesty, Aera, you don’t have to decide your stance right now,” he said. “You could decide that these virtues do have merit. That chastity does have value.”

“Even though you don’t?” I asked.

“It’s not that I think they’re worthless,” he said. “It’s that I can’t handle figuring out what the right answer is. I’m too busy figuring out murders to figure out fundamental truths about the universe.”

“Let me think for a moment,” I said, leaning against him.

He seemed entirely content with this, idly stroking my hair and relaxing.

Long minutes passed as I went over memories and discussions. A point came to mind and I glanced up at Liam again.

“I have a question,” I said.

“Shoot,” he said.

“The idea of an animal in you - that a human’s fundamental nature is dangerous, dark, and overpowering - do you believe that?”

“Yeah,” he said, glancing down at me. “With even the little bits from work I’ve told you, it’s hard to think someone who’s all the way human could do things like that.”

“Do you think that’s true of you, personally?” I asked. “That there’s a beast in you, that only doesn’t do evil because you’re stronger than it is?”

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Maybe,” he said, looking away. “The worst I’ve seen… no, that doesn’t appeal to me on any level. But I can’t deny that I have some dark thoughts from time to time.”

I smirked at him.

“Everyone has those, don’t they?” I asked. “Even I thought about brutally murdering you a few times last week, when you were making me work for it.”

He gave me a startled look and laughed.

“You’re kidding,” he said.

“Not that I would act on it,” I said. “Thoughts and actions are different. But what if it’s not as bad as you fear?”

“What are you getting at?” he asked.

“My father favored facing the darkness, rather than hiding it,” I said. “And, there’s a skill I want you to be aware of. I can modify memories. Remove them, if you wish.”

He shifted uncomfortably again.

“The idea of chastity is to keep the evil inside locked up, where it can’t escape, right?” I said. “Let’s try letting your beast out completely.”

He froze.

“Aera, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he said.

“I’m the one person in the world you could try that with,” I said. “You cannot hurt me. You cannot force me. If I want you to stop, you will stop, and there’s nothing you can do about it. On the off chance you injured me, I’d be able to fix it.”

The look he gave me was a blend of fascinated and horrified.

“You can do absolutely anything to me, and with me, that you like tonight,” I said, smiling up at his stunned face. “I want this. I want to see the darkest of who you are.”

“That’s kind of…” he hesitated. “Really personal, though, isn’t it?”

“There’s no bad outcomes here,” I said. “If it’s awful, then that’s a testament to how incredibly strong you are as a person, to overcome it. If it’s not, then that’s a testament to you being fundamentally good. Either way, you’re a good person, no matter what.”

He just stared at me.

“We can test this idea, of chastity,” I said. “If the worst within you is harmless, then the idea behind chastity is at least a little wrong, isn’t it?”

“And you’re wanting to test it with me, not you, because the worst in you would be a nightmare, if it’s bad,” he said slowly.

I nodded.

“Aera, I don’t know if I can do that,” he said. “What if I… did something really awful, and you couldn’t look at me the same? Or if I couldn’t stand myself?”

“That’s why I mentioned mind magic,” I said. “If there’s anything you want either of us to forget, I give you my word, I’ll make it happen.”

He just stared at me again.

“It’s for learning,” I said. “To learn who you really are, with absolutely no consequences. Can you really say no to that?”

“So you’re saying, if the worst in me is not that bad, then you’ll, what, abandon the idea of chastity?” he said. “Based on what’s in me?”

“I already don’t favor the idea,” I said. “But if it is bad, then that kind of means that maybe locking up what’s inside is a good thing. Then maybe I should take the idea more seriously.”

He processed this for a long moment.

“I don’t think I even could,” he said. “I’ve got a lot of years of keeping myself under control, so I don’t think I could let go.”

“I could help with that,” I said. “I could go into your mind, and weaken your ability to restrain yourself.”

He hesitated again.

“Maybe I’ve learned that you have magic, but on a gut level, I can’t believe that I can’t hurt you,” he said. “The idea is painful. I can’t hurt you, Aera.”

“Try,” I said, grinning. “Test me. Punch me, Liam.”

“I can’t hit a woman,” he said.

I frowned at him, then started giggling. He looked at me in confusion, but then his jaw dropped as my features changed.

Mimicry was the easiest form of shapeshifting, so after a minute, he looked at a giggling copy of himself. I shifted the dress into a plain shirt and pants.

“Now I’m not a woman,” I said, and then laughed at the lowness of my own voice. “Surely you can punch yourself!”

“But I know you’re still a woman,” he said slowly.

I pulled open my pants and glanced in with an obvious smirk.

“Nope,” I said. “Definitely no female parts.”

He reached out and picked up his glass of whiskey again.

“You sure know how to overwhelm a man, Aera,” he said, taking a sip.

“Okay, this isn’t working,” I said, and shifted my features back, using the necklace enchantment I’d made for tracking Rhine. “New plan. Lift your arm.”

He blinked at me, and then tried to lift his hand. A half second later, he stared at his arm in shock.

“I paralyzed the nerve controlling the muscle,” I said. “Try again.”

He moved, and his arm spasmed awkwardly.

“I scrambled the messages in the nerve controlling the muscle,” I said. “Try again.”

He gave me a funny look, and then tried to move. This time, his arm responded, but it didn’t lift.

“I put a barrier over your arm, blocking its passage,” I said. “Try again.”

“Ahh!” he yelled at the weird sensation.

“I disconnected the tendons that control your arm,” I said. “It’s normally really painful, but I numbed the nerves first.”

“Okay, Aera, I get the idea,” he said.

“Does your gut believe me yet?” I asked.

His expression had changed to inquisitive instead of uneasy.

“Partly,” he said. “All right. Let’s try the punching thing.”

He stood up, and I stood next to him. I wrapped myself in a simple absorption barrier. He threw a little punch at my arm, and it barely moved.

“You can do better than that,” I said. “I’m an evil drunk guy! Take me down!”

He laughed, shaking his head, and threw a more serious punch at my chest, still holding back. I didn’t budge an inch, and grinned at him.

Finally, he put his full strength into it. He launched at punch at me with all the power in his body at my heart, and his hand simply stopped on impact.

“My face,” I said. “Don’t hold back.”

He shook his head, but lined up a shot, and punched me square in the face. My head didn’t so much as turn.

“No offense, Liam, but you’ve got nothing on tommy guns,” I said wryly, and he chuckled.

“All right, so I guess that’s convincing,” he said. “But I still don’t know if it’s a good idea to… cut loose like that.”

“What are you afraid of?” I asked.

He gave me a sad look.

“I guess I’m afraid of finding out,” he said. “You’ve addressed everything else. But I… I don’t want to be a monster. I have no idea what I’d do if you cut off my ability to restrain myself.”

“If you don’t look, you’ll never know,” I said, walking up to him. “Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. You can find out the truth. And if it’s too much, neither of us will have to remember. You could even just have me forget, and you remember, if you want to learn the lesson without being afraid of my judgement.”

He hesitated.

“Help me, Liam,” I said to him, stepping close. “Help me to know what it is to be human. Show me the darkest depths of the heart of a good man.”

“Aera… I don’t know if I can do that,” he said.

“Because you’re too afraid to face who you really are?” I asked. “I know that feeling. You helped me with that last week.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“You really believe this will be helpful to you?” he asked.

“I have no idea,” I said. “I do know that my father said the surest sign you needed to know an answer was if you feared it. So while, to me, this is a matter of testing, of curiosity, your reaction tells me that this is an answer you need.”

“I can live my life never knowing,” he said, opening his eyes again.

“You can,” I said. “You can live and always wonder what you are, what you might do, if ever you gave in to your own nature. Or you can face your fears, and know which of them are mere shadows.”

“When you put it that way, it makes it seem like the right thing to do is to…” he hesitated and shook his head. “But, Aera, I feel like if I did that, I’d regret it.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Some things should never be done,” he said.

“Even if no one is hurt?” I asked. “Even if it is a harmless, if frightening, way to see the truth?”

“You realize this would mean I’m putting a lot of trust in you, right?” he said.

“If it makes you feel better, your consent is only required for moral purposes,” I said. “I don’t actually need your cooperation to do this to you.”

“But you wouldn’t, without my consent,” he said.

“Of course not,” I said. “It’s just that… it’s kind of beyond trust. By merely existing, your life and mind are in my hands, aren’t they?”

“That’s not exactly reassuring,” he said. “It still means I’m consenting to letting you be with me as I face my own demons.”

“I guess that’s up to you,” I said. “Do you trust me?”

He ran his hand through his hair and cursed under his breath.

“Okay, I’ll agree under a few conditions,” he said.

“I’m listening,” I said, grinning.

“One,” he said. “You will promise to stop me if I go too far. And I don’t mean far enough to actually hurt you, because I know I can’t. I mean far enough to even make you think less of me. At all.”

“It’d have to be worse than my worst thoughts for that,” I said wryly. “I can easily agree to that.”

“Two. If I go far enough that you think it justifies the idea of people keeping themselves chained up, as you put it, then you’ll put a stop to it instantly,” he said.

“Agreed,” I said.

“Three. If I give any indication that I can’t handle what I’m doing, it stops,” he said.

“Only if reassuring you that I’m okay doesn’t work, if that’s okay?” I said.

“That’s fine, I guess,” he said. “And four… this is probably impossible, but, I… I’d like some assurance that you won’t hate me for whatever we find.”

“I won’t,” I said. “And if I somehow do, I can erase the memory of it.”

“You’re sure about this, Aera?” he asked. “You are absolutely positive?”

“No,” I said. “I’m only sure that I can handle it. It’s you I’m worried about.”

He laughed weakly.

“Okay, I guess. Let’s do this,” he said.

I smiled and reached into his mind. The idea of slipping into his mind was tantalizing. At least I knew my own demons, in that regard. Without restraint, I’d dig in eagerly, curiously examining memories and motives, to glean a full understanding of who this man was.

Morality directed my restraint, though, not arbitrary rejection of my own nature. As such, I carefully directed my focus to the connection between his spirit and his body, ignoring all sorts of juicy areas.

The brain itself was far beyond any hope of my ability to influence, but how his spirit interacted with his brain - that is, his mind - was in my grasp, however tentatively.

I whispered a command into his mind to be unaware of any resistance to desire, to be oblivious to the process of second guessing himself. Next, I amplified his perception of desire, so that the things he’d normally regard as wants would come across as undeniable needs. Finally, I added a sense of certainty that the correct way to handle conflicting desires was to do both, one after the other.

“I think that covers it,” I said, pulling back from him. “How do you feel?”

“Like something is a little off,” he said, frowning. “Even with what you said, I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Good,” I said. “It’s supposed to be subtle and intangible. If you can tell it’s there, you can resist it, and I’m bad at this. You’d rip my spell to shreds.”

He chuckled.

“That actually is very reassuring,” he said. “So if you were to leave it on me, it wouldn’t last?”

“My work?” I said. “If you want it to stay, it’d last a few months, at most. If you want it gone, I doubt it’d make it through the night.”

“I’m wondering why I’m not doing anything yet,” he said. “You’re sure it’s working?”

“Do you want to do anything?” I asked.

“Hold still and not do anything horrible,” he said wryly.

“Well, look at you, doing exactly what you want,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. “Maybe I should try making you mad.”

“That’d be interesting to see,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

I poked him in the shoulder, and he gave me a bemused look.

“You do know what I do for a living, right?” he asked dryly.

“Fine, then,” I said. “Take this!”

I punched him in the arm and looked up at him expectantly. His face looked terribly amused and he patted me on the head.

“That was too cute,” he said.

“I could use magic on you,” I said, wiggling a finger at him. “Your life is in danger! Defend yourself!”

He just raised an eyebrow.

“You’re a terrible liar, Aera,” he said.

“Well, maybe I should do something else, then,” I said, grinning mischievously and giving his body an obvious look over.

He smiled.

My clothes began to withdraw from my body, slowly revealing skin, while I tried to hold myself seductively.

He lunged at me, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me aggressively, pressing my body against his.

“It is working,” he said as he ran his hands down my sides.

“That was sexy,” I said, wriggling a little against him. “Do it again.”

He laughed earnestly as he picked me up, making me squeak, put me on his shoulder, and walked into his bedroom.

It didn’t take long to find out exactly what he wanted to do with me. And I loved every minute of it.