Dungeons & Demons III

“Err, I...” His face blanched as he tried to find an answer to mollify me, “I tried t-to s-stop y-you...”

“Well, you didn't try hard enough!” I did vaguely remember him shouting something at me, so I decided to let him off.

“Go and get me something to wash my mouth out with! No wine this time, I'm becoming sick of the stuff!” I wasn't going to let him know I'd forgiven him, of course.

Once he'd returned with a mug of mead from the mess hall nearby, and I'd washed the coppery taste of blood from my mouth, we'd both calmed down enough to discuss why he'd brought me a wineskin full of blood.

“Right,” I said pointing at the object in question, “tell me what the fuck this is about then.” Maybe I hadn't calmed down as much as I'd thought.

“Ye-yes Empress, I was coming to that, b-before you d-drank i....” He coughed, shying away from that line of accusation, he couldn't blame his Empress for something after all. Even if it were entirely their own fault. “Here, maybe if you [Inspect] this you will u-understand.” He reached into his [Inventory] once more and tried to pass me the ring he'd removed.

“As I'm sure you are aware, I cannot use [Inspect] right now. It is the entire reason I am in this System-forsaken armoury in the first place!”

He glanced at my Garb, his left eye twitching in annoyance when he noticed it'd taken the form of a dog costume. I didn't bother hiding my smirk; I didn't need to. “M-my a-apologies Empress, h-here.”

You have received a new Party Invitation.

Felix de Reklo Etrallinger has invited you to join '[Inspect] sharing'.

Do you accept?

Y/N

Huh, I hadn't realised you could share the [Inspect] windows with Party members. I wondered what else I was missing as I mentally clicked the 'Y'.

“V-v-very g-good Empress,” either he still hadn't recovered from my reprimand or he was getting more pissed off at the Garb, the dog costume had shifted slightly to an exact copy of his colouring.

Join the club brother. I hate this thing too.

“N-now l-let's see...” he hmmed as he interacted with the System screens physically. Which was slightly odd as most people seemed to access them mentally. You could do either but I'd found it was better not to do it physically because it was a very good way to break stealth and interrupt other such combat actions. Perhaps those who didn't spend time in combat didn't care too much about it?

“Ah-hah.” He flicked his hand towards me, and a screen flew towards me from his swipe. It was quite odd seeing it materialise in front of his fingers and grow bigger as it neared my vision. They usually just appeared in front of me without warning, as if they had always been there.

Ring of Minor Blood-Dart

A simple silver ring enchanted by a Novice [Enchanter] many years ago.

Quality: Poor

Rarity: Uncommon

Weight: 5 grams

Durability: 17/20

Enchantments:

Minor Blood-Dart.

Magically infuses Blood to Dart at your opponent.

Charges: 10/10.

Charge Regeneration: 1 per 5 minutes.

Well, that certainly answered my question of why he was giving me a wineskin full of blood. I found the description of its effect a bit lacking, however. Like the description of the spear I had in my [Inventory], any form of base damage information was missing. This description also lacked any information on the amount of blood that was needed, how long it took to cast and if there were any cooldowns.

I decided I had to test this item before using it in the field.

Felix smiled, apprehensive as I put the ring on my left hand. I was half-expecting it to resize to fit my finger but either such an enchantment didn't exist, or this 'Poor' ring didn't have it. After a bit of fumbling about, I found it fit best on my middle finger on that hand. Once happy with it, the Garb shifted around it, hiding the ring beneath its folds.

Well, shit. I realised, with some consternation. That's not coming off anytime soon.

Rather than reprimand the dog-man-thing again, I instead popped the cork out of the wineskin and willed the ring to activate its effect.

Almost immediately a small Dart of blood shot out of the wineskin's mouth and preceded to shoot past my ear and impact the armour of one of the guards situated just outside the open door of the armoury.

He accepted his Empress's apologies with much grumbling, and 'suggested' I test out new weapons in one of the practice rooms. I ignored his 'advice', however, as I had no idea where those rooms were located, and because time was still ticking down until the Garb removed itself. [10:09:56]. I was keeping a very close eye on the timer ticking down in the corner of my HUD. It wouldn't do to lose track of it and be outed by mistake. An action that I wasn't sure I could control thanks to my terrible luck. Still, it wouldn't do to court disaster by simply giving up.

I did a few more experiments, much to Felix's obvious, but unspoken, annoyance. I drained the ring's charges before any had time to fully regenerate. Of note, there wasn't any countdown timer for when they would regenerate, so I carefully watched the countdown clock to ensure it did take exactly five minutes for one to regenerate. It did, but I knew I'd be unable to keep such an exacting eye on the time during combat.

The dart itself always took the path of least resistance, meaning that no matter how much I willed otherwise, it always shot out in whichever direction the wineskin was pointing, an object that would be quite difficult to manhandle during combat. The amount of blood used was uniform each time, though when asked, Felix claimed to have no idea how many charges I'd get from the wineskin and suggested I refill it whenever possible during the dungeon-dive.

Yay, how fun!

The activation also had a small cooldown that was also not shown in the ring's description, simply refusing to activate until 4.36 seconds had passed. Why exactly 4.36 you ask? Well, I had no freakin' clue, but that was the number I'd settled on after my experiments.

Once I'd finished my boredom-relieving experiments and Felix had stopped complaining about all the bloodstains, he finally reached into his [Inventory] to retrieve the second of three items I'd be supplied with. Even after many testing sessions, they'd managed to find very few items that the Garb was compatible with. And even less that had any use. And of those, only these three had been found to have a use in combat.

“H-here you go, E-Empress.” I wondered if I'd given him a permanent stutter as he handed over the next item. It would be quite an amusing accompaniment to his baritones. “W-were not entirely sure if this amulet will w-work. B-but the Garb does not e-eschew it-its presence. A-also, e-even if it do-does work, we don't even know quite what it does.”

It looked like a single loop of brass, a couple of inches thick, bent into an infinity sign. The chain of the amulet was made of more, much smaller, brass infinity signs. The amulet itself was about the size of a chicken egg. Though much heavier. I looped the chain around my neck, the Garb's folds shifting to cover it, as it did with the necklace before, once I'd done up the chain's catch.

“How come you know so little about it?” I didn't fail to notice that he hadn't shown me a description screen for it.

“Well... When you [Inspect] it, it doesn't really give you much information.” Ooo, no stutters this time, maybe he'll finally get over it. “A-all it really says, is its n-name and a vague d-description of its effects.” Nevermind, spoke too soon...

“Alright, well at least tell me what it says, there must be a good reason you're giving it to me...”

“Y-yes, of-of course, Em-Empress.” And now it's gotten worse... “I-it is called, [The Amulet of Foresight]. A-and its description c-claims it w-will s-stop one f-fatal b-blow, b-before shattering. T-there's n-not any w-way to s-safely test it.”

“I can see how that would be problematic, yes. Still, it could prove life-saving. If it works.” I patted the amulet, now residing on my chest, causing him to gulp.

“I-I hope it won't be ne-necessary, Empress.”

“Me too, Felix. Me too.” Knowing my luck – terrible – it'd probably save my life then kill me when it shattered, or something. Still, the chance of it blocking a fatal wound was better than nothing. Besides, it was too late. I couldn't remove it anymore. Fucking Garb.

“So, seeing as time is pressing, can you show me the final item now?” I tried to hurry him along a bit, my timer had just ticked below the ten hour mark and he'd seemed to have frozen as his fear of my presence worsened.

“M-my apologies, Empress. R-right away.” He began the motions of accessing his [Inventory] once again, removing the final enchanted item, and holding it in both hands, he presented it to me with a broad smile.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

Considering he said the only items I'd be getting were the combat focused ones, I could only assume this one was a weapon. The item was a uniform black, it had a handle that was about a foot long, two inches wide and very thin. The main 'head' of the weapon was dish-shaped, a large circle, also about a foot in diameter, the walls of the object curved inward few a few inches before it reached the flat base, it appeared to be made of cast iron.

I stared at him with a blank expression, not that he could see that of course.

“And this is...”

“T-the final i-item, E-Empress. D-disregarding the un-uncertain effects of the am-amulet, this is the most powerful of the t-tr-trio...”

“Are you quite sure you have the right item?”

“Y-yes, Empress.” He frowned slightly, “w-why d-do you ask?”

“I don't know, Felix... maybe it's because you are presenting a frying pan to me like it's supposed to be some kind of Legendary sword...” Yep, a frying pan. I dearly hoped he had a solid explanation for this.

When he saw I had no intention of relieving him of his burden, he carefully, dare I say, reverently placed the pan on the table before us.

“Explain. Now. This is almost weirder than a wineskin full of blood.”

“I.. Of course. Y-you weren't f-far w-wrong c-comparing it to a Le-Legendary sw-sword. I-it is a Legendary i-item.”

“A frying pan. A frying pan is a Legendary item?!”

“Y-y-ye-yes, Y-your I-Im-Impe-”

“Oh for System's sake, just send me the description, I'll be the judge of its capability.” Rather than verbally respond, something he was finding more and more difficult, he simply nodded and flicked another window to me.

Into The Fire

A Frying Pan crafted by a Journeyman [Blacksmith]. Then enchanted by a Master [Enchanter] some years later, for reasons unknown.

Quality: Well-Crafted

Rarity: Legendary

Weight: 1.5 KG

Durability: 8649/10000

Enchantments:

Improved Durability, Improved Bludgeoning, Burning, Scatter-fire.

Upon activation fires 2-5 fireballs out of the base.

Charges: 1/1.

Charge Regeneration: 1 per hour.

So, that's how I found myself some twenty minutes later, awed by finally setting eyes on this 'Watchtower' while trying to ignore the snickers of the nearby guards that milled around near the entrance. I ignored them, instead taking in the sheer majesty, height, and impossibleness of the Watchtower. As a reference, the tallest artificial structure in my world at the time I left was the Burj Khalifa, a structure that had held the title for almost thirty years, topped out at an impressive 829.8 metres. As a side note, the Japanse were in the process of building a set of triple towers that would be mutually supporting and would reach just over 1200 metres in height.

These towers, in order to reach their impressive heights, had built their bases as a threeway buttress. In comparison, the Watchtower was perfectly round at its base and shot straight up, without tapering until it reached the tip. I asked a nearby guard in a moment of forgetfulness – 'I' should have already known the information – how high the tower was.

He claimed that it was precisely 1km tall and 10 metres in diameter, with 100 floors total. Those were some tall ceilings... Also, the whole thing was a dungeon.

I figured it for a blatant rip-off of a similar structure from a certain anime. Only, I wondered if it were the other way round? This Watchtower must have been here for years.

Once I was done inspecting the impressive structure I made my way over to the group of people waiting near the wide marble steps that led up to the impressive – but sealed – double doors of the tower I was supposed to be 'claiming'.

"Empress, I hope you don't expect to cook your way through the dungeon!" The nasal tones of The Imperial MoC reached me as I approached.

I glanced down at the frying pan held in my right hand and the blood-filled wineskin in my left. "Nope, besides," I said lifting the wineskin, "this has blood in it. Not a very appetising cooking ingredient." I gave him a toothy grin to accompany my words – not that he could see it. "Also, I hope you don't expect to talk your way through the dungeon, Belloff!"

The courtyard quietened at my words. At first, I thought it was shock at what filled my wineskin, but after scrutinising Belloff's face, I figured that maybe it was something different. It had progressed through arrogance and annoyance to sheer rage and murderous intent.

"You know full well I despise that disrespectful and frankly insulting nickname!" He screeched in my face.

Wait... You mean your name isn't Belloff? Crap... It seems I've done another oopsie.

I turned my glare to Verrick, who was standing alongside the Master of Ceremonies, and was trying – and failing – to hold back his smirk. Damn you! This is all your fault! Indeed, I didn't remember anyone actually using his given name in conversation, only using his title when appropriate, as such my only indication of his name came from just before I was married.

Verrick's failing attempts to hold back his smirk, turned to outright laughter as his gaze drifted down to my torso. The nearby guards also breaking their own silence as I heard various forms of giggling, snorting, braying and guffawing fill the air around me.

Holding on to my fraying dignity, and ignoring the purple-face MoC before me, I looked down to see what the Garb had transformed into that caused so much laughter.

Once I had fully taken in my new look, I also failed to hold myself back and I let out my first laugh since my dreadful arrival to my new world.

The Garb, in a fit of insanity that could only be explained by my terrible luck, had copied the MoC's purple ceremonial robes exactly. Barring two very obvious differences.

The first being the head covering, I was still unidentifiable by anyone around me, thankfully.

The second, however, was the cause of all the mirth. On the front of his robes was a massive Griffin in flight, the magically enchanted embroidery looking like it was moments away from attacking you, in the background lay a longsword point down. This image was bereft from my robes, however.

Nope, instead, there was a massive cock and balls on the front.

Perhaps the Garb was just saying what we were all thinking? In any case, it didn't look like it wanted to shift its form any time soon.

"My apologies," I said once I'd calmed down a bit, and thankful that I wasn't required to keep a straight face. "What would you prefer to be called?"

He sputtered and growled at me, getting a fair amount of spittle on the Garb – it dripped off almost immediately – and finally responded, finally calmed down enough to talk in even tones. I knew the next time we were alone and without prying eyes, he was going to be quite angry with me. Oh well, it had been totally worth it. Besides, Verrick had been the first to laugh.

"You may call me whatever you wish, Your Imperial Majesty," he said. Though his tone said otherwise. "You are the Empress. However, I would prefer to be called by my given name, Elbellkioff, or as 'My Lord'."

Yep, I'm totally getting an earful when we're next alone.

I decided to throw the still grinning Verrick under the bus – so to speak – as best I could when that happened. Also, there was no way I was going to call him by his given name, it was almost worse than the terrible nickname.

"As amusing as this little reprieve is, it's far past time for us to enter the tower," Verrick said, cutting through the tension, reminding us of our true purpose here. "Come along, kids."

I grumbled at the – perhaps apt – description as I followed him. The MoC did far more than grumble but Verrick studiously ignored him.

Instead of going up the steps to the impressive double doors, that was the clear main entrance to the dungeon, Verrick went down a massive ramp to left. Following many crisscrossing rails along the ground. At the bottom of the ramp, there was a cavernous opening that led into a massive cave.

I paused in the entrance as I felt a hint of surprise at the size of the cave beyond. I knew I probably should've expected it, it being a dungeon and all, but the cave inside was far, far larger than the diameter of the tower we'd entered. It made me wonder just how large this place truly was.

There was a terminal of sorts at the far side of the cavern, a hub for the many mine cars that dotted the tracks. Dozens of passages were connected to the hub. And dozens more too small for a mine cart littered the walls. Few if any, of the mine carts, had any material in them, the place obviously fully cleared before we arrived. There was also no sign of any miners.

Off to the right, I could see another large cavern, that connected to this one through a short but wide passage, inside the flow of lava could be seen. Its flow manipulated to pass through and past the many forges that were scattered, seemingly at random throughout that area.

That cavern, too, was empty of life.

So," I said, stopping Verrick in his tracks, as he clearly had not intended on halting his forward march. "Remind me why we're going into this mine, instead of the dungeon entrance above?"

He let out a resounding sigh, lips rippling impressively, "did you not listen to any of the planning session, Empress?" Err.. maybe I was too busy inspecting your handsome features... I blushed slightly remembering my inattentiveness. I was normally far more circumspect about checking people out. Plus I wouldn't normally be so distracted during such a discussion.

Fucking hormonal imbalance strikes again.

"Like... some of it?" I said, trying not to give away too much of my ignorance. "I know I'm supposed to claim the Watchtower's keystone and become the Warden of the Watchtower. Which lets me grant entry to adventurers and the like up to the 100th floor, you're here to become Guardian of the Watchtower, letting you grant entry up to the 75th and.. Err... His Lordship, here, will become Gatekeeper of the Watchtower, allowing him to grant entry up to the 50th. As normally entrants would not be able to pass the 25th floor, else. And not enter at all without a Warden – I don't understand why this is the case though. Nor do I understand why we're down here, instead of entering upstairs?"

He facepalmed. I'd rarely seen anyone actually do such an action in real life, and never one of his station...

"Well, let's see... The Watchtower is pretty unique as dungeons go, and we don't rightly know why a Warden is necessary, but then very few dungeons have the same scaling system in place either. In any case, the reason we're down here is because the Quest to claim the tower is different each time. All we know about the entrance to it is that it's always located somewhere in this mine and that it is a three-person restricted dungeon with five floors. Plus the solo floor at the end where you face your individualised trial for whichever Title you're attempting to claim. Now, time is limited, so I suggest we split up and search for the entrance. Don't worry about needing to be vigilant down here. The mine is notorious as a non-combat area. Extremely rare for any dungeon. More so even than the scaling system."

Ah... Right... Thanks, very informative. I really should have paid more attention earlier.

We split up a little further in, the MoC and I retrieving one of the flickering torches from the walls as we each entered one of the many tunnels leading out of the mine's entrance area.

"Are we sure this is the entrance?" I questioned, hoping Verrick would deny the evidence before us.

It'd taken me an hour of searching to discover this tiny crack in one of the side passages and hoping I was wrong in my assumptions I'd left it behind to try and find anything else out of place.

Another hour had passed with me searching frantically, hoping against hope that I'd hear the echoing calls of one of the others, saying they'd found the entrance. Instead, I'd finally come to the conclusion that this tiny gash in the rock wall was, in fact, what we'd all been searching for.

"Unfortunately, it appears it is so." Verrick had thankfully not questioned that I'd missed this on my first exploration of this tunnel. Whether because he believed me or just didn't want to confront me, I didn't know.

"Perhaps we should search a bit longer? I do not think I can fit down there." The MoC espoused. His size would indeed make it difficult for him to enter the hole. It was perhaps only just wide enough for me to fit in sideways, standing upright, but was only around three feet in height. I figured me and Verrick could probably manoeuvre ourselves down the twisting passage, but the lanky Moc would definitely struggle.

"Don't worry about it, My Lord. I can simply [Shadow-Walk] us all inside until we are in the dungeon proper." Ah right, I'd forgotten he could do that now that he was better recovered. Still, judging by the massive bags under his eyes, he'd still yet to sleep. Meaning we were about to enter this dungeon of a trio that consisted of an exhausted level 100 [Shadowdancer], a slimy politician that I was unsure would be of any help, and a level 5, who was still learning how this new world worked, and would likely be of less help than the sneering slime-bag. Even if I was undoubtedly stronger, thanks to my mismatched Stats.

"I will scout ahead first, one moment."

In a flash of dark... uh, no that didn't make sense, a blaze of darkness? An eruption of darkness? No. Hmm. A burst of darkness?

Ah yes, that one.

In a burst of darkness, Verrick disappeared from our sight, searching for where the passage ahead opened up again. Or to perhaps discover if it was another dead-end and we'd have to go back to searching.

[07:38:22]. I was running out of time. We all were. I dearly hoped this was the way forward, as depressing as it looked.

Verrick reappeared an another, uh, burst of darkness. His lips upturned in a smile. "This is the place. Empress, my [Shadow-Walk] won't work on you due to the Garb, so you'll have to worm your way in. We'll meet you at the other end.

And with that, he disappeared in another burst of darkness, taking the MoC with him this time.

"Aww, fuck. I hope you're not just fucking with me, Verrick."

After I'd let out a few more expletives I squatted down and eked myself into the restricting confines of the passage. The all-encompassing Garb, somehow not stopping the rough and jagged walls of the tunnel from bruising and scraping my skin. None of the scratches were serious, of course, but such minor injuries always took longer to fully regenerate for some reason.

When I finally made my way out of the twisting tunnel sometime later, I stood up to inspect the real entrance to the dungeon.

The passage opened up just before the entrance to allow us to stand side-by-side.

Contrary to my disappointment at what I'd percieved to be the dungeon entrance, I was instead satisfied. It looked like a proper dungeon entrance, a replica of what I'd come to expect from my various games.

The tunnel walls smoothed just ahead of us, and the tunnel led into a pulsating mass of darkness.

"No time like the present."

And with that cliche, we stepped into my first dungeon.

*