Arrival I

Hi there,

Welcome to Elmeron!

Umm... we've sent you this message as a quick apology and explanation.

Normally you'd 'wake up' in a moderately friendly environment to help get you going or one of our representatives would appear to guide you through your first steps.

In fact that almost happened to you. We can detect new arrivals and glean a sense of their power, and you are powerful, normally that'd mean you'd be talking to a rep. Not having this helpful message sent to you!

Fortunately we read your Traits first. Phew! Just about got away with that one.

*Cough* anyways... where was.. ah yes.

We were in the midst of transferring you to one of our pre-prepared locations when we read the description of your trait (I know that's kinda personal and all. Soz.).

We had to throw you out mid transfer.

I have no idea where you are! Hopefully it's a good location!

Oh also this is all totes real. Like did you even read the terms and conditions? Oh well. I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough.

Good luck! (You're so gunna need it).

- Excixn, Imp of the Abyss.

What the fuck kind of welcome message is this?

I'd just gone through all the logging in stuff and was expecting to see some kind of character generation screen, when suddenly, a horrible impression of a rope tied to my centre came over me. Impression being the operative description, it both felt there, but not. Not quite physical but also so very real.

Moments after this thoroughly unpleasant sensation I felt as though I was yanked down by the rope. Almost as though I'd been lying flat across a hole and had collapsed into the middle of it, only the hole kept going down.

My insides kept trying to get outside. Not something I'd ever felt before, and not something I'd recommend to anyone, except perhaps my worst enemies, maybe. How long this lasted I couldn't say. Only that if I'd been in possession of a body; my paltry breakfast would've made an attempt to resurface. And just when I'd kind of got a handle on this I'd stopped. Just as sudden as it had started it was over.

Mostly over anyway. I could feel a breeze flowing over my decidedly naked body. It was a cool breeze which was good because where ever I was it was warm here. Because despite the breeze I felt a hot sweat coming on.

Most of the heat appeared to be coming from my feet, which seemed to be submerged midway up my shins in scalding water. Obviously the source of the heat.

All of this went right out of my head the moment I started reading the message. Including what sounded like a person shouting at me.

I didn't start reading the message because it was the best possible path forward. It was simply all I could see. A giant screen of black with a pulsing red border and words that seemed to be written in blood.

It blocked my entire vision and even once I'd finished reading it, it didn't go away.

After I'd finished reading through it twice, and was making my way through it a third time- because I couldn't make heads nor tails of such a strange opening to such an acclaimed game, and I was trying to figure out what the fuck the people who created Elmeron were trying to accomplish, my feet continued to get practically boiled in the water I was standing in. My body started sweating in earnest and that damned shouting continued to increase in volume.

I should probably be doing something about all that shouting.

I could figure out the ramifications of the message - and probably send a ticket to the mods to try and figure out if this was a standard introduction - after dealing with whatever was occurring to my avatar right now.

What, you thought it was normal for me to stand in boiling water without a care? Not at all, it was only because despite what the message attempted to convey, this was all clearly just an illusion. A VR simulation. And I was very good at ignoring simulated pain. I had to be, I played as a Dwarven Shieldbearer, in other words a tank in AoH. I stood at the front and took the brunt of the attention and damage. There was no pain filter In AoH.

My determination to do something about my situation came a little late, however, because what felt like a bus suddenly ran me over and sent me flying from the pool of steaming water, to land on what felt like a stone floor. A very smooth and slippery stone floor.

My first attempt to stand up failed. So did my second. I finally managed on my third. Once I got my bearings. What bearings I could, since I still couldn't see anyway. I began an exploration of the area around me, to try and find out what the hell just hit me and also a way to escape it if it tried again.

After a couple of minutes of searching I finally found something. By the process of tripping over it and smacking my face straight into the very hard floor. Like extremely hard. Like if you'd mixed two hard stones together and they'd hooked up and produce an even harder... y'know what? Scratch that. It was hard. And my face hurt. A lot.

Whatever I'd tripped over moaned slightly. It was at this point I realised the shouting had stopped when the bus had hit me, and groans and panting had been my soundtrack during my search.

Clearly whomever had been shouting had jumped into me and caused my first flight onto the hard stone floor. Had I mentioned how hard it was yet?

That person. Because it was a person, I realised once I pulled myself into a sitting position and began exploring with my hands. And very female too. Don't ask how I figured that one out, let's just say my fingers were suddenly sticky. And ewww.

Getting back to the woman dying on the ground, because she was, dying I mean. The panting, moaning and groaning had lessened considerably in the minute or so after I tripped over her.

Discounting the very disconcerting moan she'd made when I found out she was a she anyway.

Enough. I've had enough. Let there be light! - Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

First I attempted to swipe the screen away like you would do to screens in AoH. After a frantic few moments spent franticly waving my hands around in front of my face, I determined it wasn't working and decided upon a new approach.

I simply willed it to go and it did. Just like that. Damn it all! Why hadn't I tried that sooner!

My self chastisement soon ended when I took a look around and saw where I was.

I was in a bathing room. Not just a bathroom mind you. A true bathing room. A room dedicated solely to lying in a bath in comfort.

First off was the bath, which wass as large as it was gaudy. A monstrosity of a thing. It looked like someone had dug a pit into the centre of the room, about two feet deep it forms an oval of about ten feet long and 3 feet wide.

Not quite big enough or deep enough to swim in, but definitely bigger than any bath had a right to be. After this person had crafted what had to be a perfect oval they, or more likely someone else, then lined it with white marble tiles.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Not pleased with this glittering perfection they then gilded them with what – to my untrained eyes – looked like gold. Real gold. Gold that forms patterns and shapes that flowed smoothly from one tile to the next, uninterrupted apart from the very fine seams.

Still not happy with their creation, they then used these marble tiles to line the whole floor of the room. Obviously the source of the hardness that kept smacking me was these marble tiles. I decided then and there that I hated marble. It clearly hated me so the feeling was mutual.

Still unhappy with their creation and obviously with money left to burn, this person had then inset various gems – diamonds, emeralds rubies and their ilk around the edges of the bath and at intervals in the bath itself.

The walls of the room appeared to form massive and mostly lewd mosaics that looked so real I can't help but wonder if someone had just taken a photo and then rendered it into the wall. Or I would have done if some of the things the mosaic showed, no human - or not quite human in some cases - would be able to manage, no matter how flexible.

My perusal of the ostentatious room came to a sudden halt however, when my eyes came to rest upon the woman dying on the floor.

Actually, on further scrutiny, it appeared she'd stopped breathing already. Something that I was surprised hadn't happened earlier, as what appeared to be a spear was stuck point down in the centre of her chest. This clearly, was how she died.

There was no-one else in the room. Just me and a corpse with a spear stuck in it. I had no idea how this had happened.

"I am totally getting the blame for this, no-one will believe that not only did I not pierce that woman, but also that I didn't even see it happen!" I lamented.

I looked over the now dead woman to see if I can discern anything about her – other than the obvious – she'd probably be about six feet in height if she were still among the living, and so light of skin as to seem almost lacking in pigmentation, very similar to my own complexion actually, though I doubted hers was because of a night job and being a perfect example of a shut-in.

No, her skin tone was likely so pale for the same reason that her ears were so pointy.

Namely, that, from the tips of those aforementioned ears, to her brilliantly golden hair, her - still perky in death - breasts, her lithe and taught body she looked like the very definition of a tolkien-esque elf.

All of this could be summed up in three words:

"Damn, she hot!" I exclaimed aloud, thankful that there wasn't anyone else around. Yeah... being caught ogling her body right after I apparently killed her wouldn't be a very good idea...

As much fun as it is ogling her, however, it wasn't helping me come up with a solution to my predicament, especially if I were being observed. Actually if I was being observed then I was already fucked so I decided to ignore that possibility until, or if it comes back to fuck me from behind later. A life Skill I had long since mastered. Ignoring things that is, that second thing, well...

So I made my way to my feet, careful to avoid slipping on the slick marble tiles again, and once I was sure of my balance, I gripped the spear jutting out of the elf's chest like a spit in pigs chest... no umm, a majestic flagpole atop a pile of bodies after a hard fought battle that... no. Never mind. On second thoughts I have never been that good at the whole 'simile' thing.

Once I finished ripping, nay – respectfully – removing the spear from between the elf's impressive bosom, I began inspecting it. The spear, not the bosom – impressive though it was.

The spear shaft looked to be exactly six feet from the bottom to the point that the leaf shaped blade was attached. The shaft appeared to be carved from a silvery wood that seemed to glow from within, leaves and vines in various shades of dark green looked to be literally melded to the shaft itself. When I ran my thumb over the spear I could just barely make out the ridges the greenery made over the silver-like wood that was its base form.

As for the blade at the tip, well, it didn't just appear to be a blade shaped as a leaf, rather, I guessed it was an actual leaf. Just how big is the tree that produced this thing?! A humongous leaf that glowed with a silver light from within. The same light as the wood that made up the shaft. Judging from the way it tapered at the edges it would make for a very sharp blade too, one that when twirled, formed ghostly after images in its wake.

A fitting weapon for an elven maiden. Assuming she was actually an elf that is. Or a maiden.

Picking it up hadn't given me a pop up window or a notification of some sort, so I wondered if there was some form of analysis skill I could perform on it to find out.

"Analyse!"

... Nope. Nothing happened. Except a slight breeze caused by spinning the shaft around reminding me that I was still as naked as the dead elf.

After Analyse didn't work I thought back to the various games I played in the past and the different words they used for the skill:

"Appraise!"

... Nope, still nothing... Then how about-

"Inspect!"

Congratulations! You have gained the Skill: Inspect.

Bargaining +1, Control +1.

Success! I almost did a victory dance at the acquisition of my first [Skill], but barely stop myself in time as I'd nearly forgotten upon which floor I was standing. Fucking marble, I'll get you back one day! I spent a few seconds glaring at the marble that covered the room, and shaking my fist in anger. Yeah, maybe I haven't adjusted as well as I thought...

Crisis averted, I promptly focused on the 'inspect' part of the window, hoping to get some more information about my new Skill.

Inspect.

You can now Inspect a variety of Arms, Armour and other Miscellaneous items.

Further levels in this Skill will allow you to garner more information and Inspect higher end items.

I turned my attention to a blinking notification in the middle right of my periphery. This caused the notification to expand outwards, to fill the centre of my vision.

?????????????????????? Spear

??????????????????????????????????????????????

Quality: ?????????

Rarity: ?????????

Weight: 0.5-1kg

Durability: 1????/?????

Enchantments:

Improved Durability, ???????????????????????????????????

Right. Like I couldn't already tell that it was a fucking spear already. I guessed I deserved that for getting my hopes up about my shiny new Skill. Oh well. It wasn't a total disappointment, I did learn a couple of things while inspecting the spear - other than that it was, y'know, a Spear. I now knew I could learn Skills just by performing the required actions or saying a keyword or something... actually maybe I didn't quite have that bit down yet but it wasn't something a little experimenting couldn't solve. I also learnt how item descriptions worked in my new world – the permanency of said world being something I was doing my darnedest to ignore – and lastly a little about the spear itself. Though honestly, it wasn't actually much more information compared to when I was just staring at it before using [Inspect]. I mean obviously it's fairly light, a spear and has some enchantments on it. Even a child could figure that much out.

Having finished with my musings I decided it was about time for a change in scenery. I had found nothing other than the elf and the spear in the bathing room – and what was a naked woman doing taking a spear to her bath anyway? - so I made my way over to the only exit to the room I could see.

The doorway was located on the wall on the left face of the dead elf, it actually kinda looked like she was pointing in that direction. Huh, weird. The doorway was perhaps seven feet tall, and almost the same width too, it was also really thick. Maybe three feet in depth. A little excessive for a doorway if you ask me, then again nothing about this place so far screamed austerity... Nope, actually this whole room screams opulence and riches so maybe it is about right... Oh and there wasn't an actual door. No, on the other side of the exit was what looked like a white silk draping barring my way.

I poked it with my shiny new spear to make sure it wasn't dangerous. You totally would have too if you were in my sh- err, skin... Who am I talking to again? This place has completely scrambled my brain... Mmm scrambled eggs, I could really go for some right now...

After stabbing it a dozen or so times I determined that it was in fact just a holey silk draping. Well, holey when I was done with it anyway! Hah! Ahem.

Once I gathered up the tattered shreds of my dignity, and holding my chin high I batted aside the draping and strode purposefully into the adjoining room.

*