By the time the bleed condition stopped I had roughly fifty hp left, I felt like utter shit and wanted to pass out for a nap. It was almost like that time I got punted across the parking lot by a pickup immediately after donating blood, but with a lot less amusement at the raw absurdness of the injury. Still, staying in the woods with an unknown number of foes and a river that had monsters like this one in it just felt like asking for trouble. So with a pained groan of reluctance I rolled back over onto my belly and began looking around for both my hat and my knife, taking a moment to wipe the latter off on the former, before returning both to their proper places.

Now, how to get two giant ass fish back up to the complex. The gar was so big that short of bringing a trailer down here I was going to have to drag it, which hopefully wouldn't be an issue considering how thick and tough a standard alligator gar's scales are, it could probably handle it. But how in blue blazes was I going to get the catfish up there as well? There was absolutely *no* chance I was leaving one behind after what I went through to get them. I was absolutely not going to risk something coming along and snatching them, or worse, the Overseer deciding to simply 'de-spawn' one for being left behind. If only there was some way to carry both with only one effective hand... I paused, taking a good long look at both the gar and the catfish, specifically eyeballing the dimensions of both of the fish.

I moved my tail forwards to adjust the gar's jaws and got a bit of a startle seeing my tail as the new alien appendage had gone and changed drastically on me. No longer was it a nice smooth line of scales, but now there were a ton of spiked protrusions poking out from under my scales that made me look more like a spiny brush viper. Where the hell had this come from? Maybe my stat spread would have some answers?

User: Joe Palmer

Species: Gigaboa

Rank: F

Health: 52/256 (++)

Stamina: 11/55

Level: 4

Exp: 76/125

Special: Tremorsense F

Traits: 4/4

Grappling Strike: Your Strikes now inflict the Grab Condition

Next Upgrade: E

Tremorsense: Feel out low frequency waves through objects you're touching to see with more than just your eyes.

Next Upgrade: E

Constrict: Allows you to inflict additional ongoing Impact Damage to targets afflicted by your Grab. Moderate Stamina drain. (Health+)

Next Upgrade: E

Medium: Your form is medium sized and very long, weighing no more than 400lbs. (Health+)

Next Upgrade: D

Abilities: 2/4

Prehensile Tail E (4pts): Your tail is flexible enough to carry or manipulate simple objects.

Next Upgrade: D

Stalk F (Passive)(2pts): Staying still and watching your prey increases the damage of your next successful strike.

Next Upgrade: E

Empty:

Empty:

Mutagens: 2/5

Ferrous Mutagen C: Your outer body is coated in a protective layer of ferrous material.

Lithic Mutagen F: Horn-like deposits harden across the skin creating living armor plates.

Empty:

Empty:

Empty:

Inventory: Selective Skill Token (C)

Hmm, looks like it's the lithic mutation that resulted in the new look. I wonder, would that actually be lowering my defenses since that's bone and not iron or whatever my scales are made out of? Oh, that's right I did get Stalk for eating decades-old stale crackers. Was a bit busy dealing with Damian at the time to pay attention to it. That sounds like it could be useful, I also notice it doesn't say anything about having to be unobserved or out of combat for it to work, paired with my defenses that could potentially result in me landing infrequent but devastating hits. I shook my head. Oi, stop getting distracted, two giant fish to move and then spend probably the next several hours preparing and cooking.

Turning my attention back to the alligator gar of legendary proportions, I opened its mouth with my tail, lowering my head to look down its throat. Casting a judging eye at the gutted catfish I did some mental math and decided that, yes it probably would fit nicely in the bigger fish's mouth. Grasping it lightly with my mouth I jammed the catfish into the dead gar's maw before giving it a once over. It looked a little comical, but yes it did seem to fit rather snuggly in the other fish. That just left carrying the, what? Half a ton of fish through the woods and up hill? Well, I'd been able to drag it out of the water, so surely I could drag it along, right? Well only one way to find out isn't there? I lowered my head and clamped my mouth around its gills. Dear God, please don't let this thing have some sort of parasites in its gills that can thrive in my biology.

The good news was that not only was I able to drag the thing, albeit slowly, it seems that I at least had some form of super regeneration that was making the rather terrible tail wound I was suffering heal at almost visible speeds. The bad news was not only just how slow the going was, but that since I'd snapped the thing's neck the thing's head started threatening to tear completely off forcing me to try dragging it by a fin, which was promptly torn off and accidentally swallowed, and finally by the tail. This in turn threatened to have the catfish spill out of its mouth, at least until I remembered the gar's sharp pointy teeth which, after a brief application of concussive force, did a great job of holding the fatty fish in place.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

It still took me nearly an hour of exhausting labor to drag the damnable fishes through the woods and back to the complex. I wonder if Damian-. "Holy shit! Joe? Is that you? What the hell happened!?"

Setting the fish down I turned to look back at my favorite bug eyed velociraptor in a t-shirt who seemed to be radiating concern. My tremorsense alerted me to something behind him hiding around the corner of the building, hopefully another person.

"Hey Damian," I waggled my head in a wave, "I went fishing and got a couple of good bites. Who's your friend over there?"

"Went fishing? It looks like your tail got caught in a bear trap!" the little dino shrieked, "And why are you suddenly covered in spikes!?"

"A 'reward' for catching this bad boy!" I gave the gar another full body tug with a grunt pulling it over the lip of the shallow hill and into sight, "Not a bad catch right, wish I had a working camera for it."

"Joe, that thing looks like it could swallow a damn car! How the absolute fuck did you-!? Nevermind, are you alright? That bite wound looks bad." The little guy's screaming seemed to finally lure out whoever was waiting around the corner. Ah correction, two people, assuming both were people. One appeared to be a glyptodont with an absolutely massive white moth perched on its back wearing a scarf.

"Goodness me!" the moth exclaimed with a voice that sounded almost exactly like a piccolo, "That's the biggest fish I've ever seen!"

"You should have seen the size of the one that got away," I joked, giving the moth a tilt of my hat in greeting, "Can't say I've met you two yet. Name's Joe, what's your name? Also," I jabbed an accusing tail at the ice age armadillo, "Why are you naked?"

"Are you serious right now!?" the glyptodont grunted with a voice like a constipated pig as the moth tittered on his back.

"I told you he'd make an issue of it Jerry," Damian said, obviously fighting back a smile of his own, "The armadillo thing is Jerry and the moth is Matilda. They're the only ones I found in the entire complex. I tried knocking on doors and looking inside but I didn't see anyone else, though it looked like a couple people bolted."

"I wouldn't worry about it much," I gestured back into the woods, "Long as they stay out of the water I didn't see anything worse than a two foot tall squirrel and they'll either run into someone else or make their way back. Was there no one at any of the other apartment complexes?"

"He didn't want us wandering off before you got back," Jerry grunted, "We got the sand pit cleared and gathered wood like he said you wanted. You actually know how to cook that thing?"

"Yep, cleaned and cooked my own fish a dozen times before, mind they usually weren't so big, but that just means we're going to have some leftovers. I would like some help with these two however," I turned back to the fish before whirling to Jerry, "Also is it Jerry with a 'J' or 'G'?"

"A 'J'. Why?"

"No reason Gerry," you ever seen a glyptodont squint suspiciously? It is quite amusing.

Jerry and Damian moved over to help lift the massive fish across the parking lot as Matilda hopped off her ride and began nervously fluttering around, "I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be much help here." Her big fluffy antenna drooped sadly.

"Do you have anything like rice or other safe storage food at your place?" I asked her, "Or if not that, a few large pots or bottles of water?"

"Oh, I do! Shall I grab the cozies and ladles as well?" Her antennas perked right up and danced excitedly

"Yes please, mam." I offered the clearly enthusiastic woman a smile, "Along with a few bowls and any silverware you can safely transport, don't be afraid to make multiple trips. It's going to take up a bit of time to prepare these fish and get everything going."

With the three of us working together it only took another five minutes to get to the restored volleyball pit. Setting the fish on the sand I cast my eyes on the pile of dead wood, that wasn't going to be enough, that would last maybe two hours and with the amount of fish we had to cook and the prep work we were likely going to need at least five. "Damian, can you do me a favor and go grab more deadwood from the woods? This isn't enough."

"What? That's a ton of wood though!"

"That's a literal ton of fish so we need more wood."

The little dino man heaved a sigh, "Yeah, I'll get on it."

"Jerry, can you help him with that once you get dressed?"

"Why is it so important to you that I get dressed?" the ice age mammal sneered, "We've been turned into animals so why keep pretending."

I whirled on the smaller man, drawing myself up large to gaze almost straight down at him and was completely silent for a moment. I could see the sudden instinctive fear in his eyes as I held his gaze, and noticed Damian shift nervously. I raised my tail and with a very steady voice said, "One, because despite being caged in an animal body, our soul and mind remains human. We should conduct ourselves as such." I ticked my tail tip over in the best mimicry of counting I could manage now. "Two, as I'd hope Damian already relayed to you, it is a clear signal to others that you are a person and not an animal. Which means they are less likely to jump you in the trees. Three, it gets you used to wearing clothing again. Which will be vital come winter, assuming you don't want to weather it naked." I paused and leaned forwards, "Do I need to continue or are those enough reasons for you?"

"W-What would I even wear though?" Jerry whimpered, "It's not like anything fits me anymore!"

"Get creative," I answered steadily, continuing to stare the man down with my unblinking serpent gaze. "Put a sock on your thagomizer, drape a blanket over your shell, wear a hat, I'm not picky." With a mumbled affirmation Jerry hurriedly waddled away, disappearing among the grass and old buildings.

"That seemed a bit intense Joe," Damian lightly chastised, "Is wearing something really that important to you?"

"Somewhat," I sighed, "Every point I listed off is true, but a lot of that was me getting frustrated that I don't think he gets it yet."

"Gets it?" Damian cocked his head to give his featureless green bug eyes a fuller view of me.

"The world and order of yesterday is gone." I stated, "The easy life we're used to has ended and we are back in the land where the strong make the rules. The way he was acting puts me in the mind of a middle manager expecting those around him to cater to him as he is used to getting his way. I needed to remind him that whatever authority he's used to is gone and there are no guarantees anymore, especially any guarantees of safety. Heck man, I just went down to the river and nearly got bitten in half, anyone else we've seen so far would have died doing what I did."

Damian plopped down on his ass and was quiet for a long moment, "Fuck man, I kind of half realized that already but, I think I was kind of waiting for rescue services to come by and, I don't know, restore power, hand out MREs, spray us with some sort of monster to human spray. I don't know, just sort of waiting to be rescued, but there's no fixing this is there?"

"Not in the short term anyways," I shifted over next to him to let him lean on my coils. As far as I could tell our minds were still human, just with some pre-installed control schemes, and humans were a species that needed physical contact, especially when distressed, "But give it a few years, we know what we're capable of and what's possible, I bet you that inside of two to three years we'll be back up to early nineteen hundreds tech and see the beginnings of proper countries rising again. But that's going to depend on folks like us keeping people in the right mind and putting down any would-be warlords."

"Fuck, we're going to end up having to kill people down the line aren't we?" Damian's voice was quiet as he pressed himself against my coils.

"We had to kill thousands a day to keep things as civilized as we did pre-Event," I confirmed morosely, "I doubt that will change now that public order is completely gone."

It was quiet in the courtyard for a moment before a loud rattling of pots and other materials broke the silence as a familiar white moth fluttered unsteadily into view and set down a metal pot as big as she was. "Can one of you boys be a dear and help me move this?"

"Certainly Matilda," I gave her a sunny smile as I rose to slither over to her, "we were just catching our breath anyways. Still a lot of work to do before lunch is ready after all." I cast a glance back at Damian, Let them keep their innocence for now. We still had other things to do first after all.