Now that I have car, even if it's ugly, I should make that spoon delivery. But now that I think about it, why would some restaurant need 500 spoons? They aren't disposable and you can't break or damage them easily. Oh well, it's pointless to think about it.

I got in my car and parked near the restaurant. I should say this now. The restaurant was in bad neighborhood. I mean if you lose your dog in this part of city you would find it again in one week. And it would be a cat. That bad.

As I was carrying package to the address I finally saw the restaurant. It was nice little place with brown wooden exterior, from mid 20th century, with small windows that are just big enough that you can't see inside clearly and still allowed natural light to come inside.

At the door I was greeted with 2 macho man in letter pants. I can't say what I can think about that. It was little disturbing. Obviously they were security or something like that. They stopped me when I tried to enter and asked me in east European accent:

- Stop. What business do you have in this fine establishment.

- I have delivery, some spoons.

-Why didn't you said so from the start. Hurry inside so you aren't seen by suspicious individuals.

Well, that was awkward. And what suspicious individuals? Why would anyone be interested in spoons?!

As one of machos took me in I was surprised to see that inside of restaurant wasn't old as exterior. There were tables for 4 people in modern glass and steel, ambient light was made from candle light on the table and modern chandeliers. There were around 30 – 40 tables and bar was in the middle of the room. There were 5 waiters going between tables and taking orders.

I have to say it. The place was packed and that wasn't the strangest thing. I saw the menu. Only meals that you can eat with spoon were on it. How suspicious. I mean, what are the odds that I would deliver huge amount of spoons to a restaurant that has only spoon based meals. If you calculate it 40 tables multiplied by 4 people is 160 spoons. Even if you use double amount of spoons it is still 320. And as far as I can see all the tables have spoons. So why do they need more spoons?

As I was pondering about strange events, Macho brought me trough the kitchen and in some room that looked like office with big desk and some 40 years old man was sitting behind the desk. Suddenly that man said:

-Machamp, what is it, can't you see that I'm busy.

He was polishing something with metallic glow that looked suspiciously like a spoon.

- Boss Mischa, it's that delivery that you ordered.

- Ah, I remember now, you can leave us Machamp, I think that the delivery man is feeling threatened by your overly manliness.

I wasn't. Honestly, I wasn't scared for my life from macho, bulging muscles, leather pants man.

As he left the room I could finally grasp the strangeness of the office. On the wall there were some strange pictures of dead nature, but instead of basket with fruit or similar there were basket with spoons, spoons on the tables, kids playing with spoons, kid bending the spoon (wtf?) and many more spoon related pictures. Behind the table on the wall was something like samurai swords but instead of swords there were massive spoons. Now that is freaky.

As I was wandering curiously around strange room suddenly boss Mischa continued:

- Now, you can relax, nothing bad would happen to you if you don't touch my spoons.

He said it with a smile on his face that would make small kids cray and sharks go vegetarian.

- I wouldn't touch your spoons, no sir, no.

- Good, now bring the package here so I can inspect it.

I brought package on his desk, and after few minutes he took all the spoons on the table and started to inspect them. With jewelry magnifying glass. Are the spoons made from diamonds?! Well they looked metallic to me. What was he looking at?

-Are you curious why I inspect them like this? Do you want to know?

No, not so much curious and if it's going to be long story then please don't tell me. But he looked me with dangerous look in eyes so I took careful approach.

- Yes, I am curious, can you please enlighten me.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

- Ha ha ha, it's good that you are curious about it. As a matter of fact if you haven't noticed I like spoons. My love is so big that I even started this restaurant where only thing that you can eat is dishes with spoons. It all started in my beloved former SSSR, now Ukraine. I was born in small town in south and my mother was only family that I got. My father was dead, local gangs killed him when he was going to factory. Stabbed him with kitchen knife 30 times before he finally died. My mother was mortified and she couldn't even watch the knife any more without being reminded of his violent death, so she removed all the knifes from our small home, and soon she throw away all the forks too. Only spoons were left in our home and only meals that can be eaten with spoons were there. I was only 4 years old when it happened and I couldn't understand her actions but I accepted them as normal. When I was 14 years old my mother told me about my father and his gruesome death and at that point I was determined. I will get revenge for my father and return my mother small amount of peace. But soon another tragedy occurred. Since my mother couldn't use knife, one day when she was picking mushrooms in nearby forest she was attacked by giraffe that ran from circus. Normally giraffe don't kill people but this one had rabies and was extremely dangerous. My mother was brutally trampled under giraffe foot. Giraffe then run back in the forest. When I heard that from nearby police I was so mad that I took my mothers spoon and ran all day through the until I finally haven't find my mothers murderer. She was calmly eating some tree leaves like nothing happened. I don't remember too much of that moment but in next one I was spooning (stabbing with a spoon) giraffe between her ribs. She tried to bite me and get me under her feet so she can stomp me like my mother, but I was so mad that I spooned her in the eye, spoon her in the belly and finally break her throat with a spoon. She looked at me, gurgled something in giraffes and died. I was covered with bruises, blood marks and cuts all over my body. After I got home I finally felt the emptiness inside of me. My father was gone, my mother was gone. What do I still have? And a watched with empty gaze in my hands, and finally noticed it. In my hand was my mothers spoon, her legacy to me. So I decided to hone my spooning skills and get revenge against people that brought this misfortune to me. After 5 years of extensive training in art of spooning I finally attained level where I could remove shell of hard boiled egg without damaging soft inside parts. With spoon. And then I went to reforge my mothers spoon. Forging those 2 spoons took me another 5 years but I finally got myself a weapon worthy of my mother and father. They were Damascus Steel spoons with black carbon edge. With my weapon ready I went to avenge my father. They shot me with bullets but I redirected their trajectory with spoons and when I got near them I spooned them in the eye and lungs. There were 20 of them but I was the last man standing. After my revenge, I sold all of my possessions and went to USA to live my dream far from violence. But my spoons can't rest, they are hungry for carnage.

WTF? I was in presence of a madman that worship spoons! Shit, easy delivery my ass! He will spoon me if I say anything wrong. Fucking boss, if I live I will publicly announce his candle play orders so that everyone knows that he is sick fuck and that he lose his job. Why me, I'm just delivery men. Please God save me.

- T-t-that was interesting story.

Shit, why didn't I say anything else. I'm dead now.

- Kid, don't be scared, I told you, don't touch my spoons and no harm will befall you. But now that I told you my story what do you say. Are you interested in the ways of Spoon?

Again, that dangerous look in his eyes. Fuck, I am so dead now. Well I still haven't had a girl yet, I don't want to die yet. Haaa, there is no choice. I wan't to live.

- Sure. I would like to learn the way of the Spoon.

- Excellent kiddo, I knew that you had it in you, my eyes are never wrong.

He said it with a smile of tyrannical joy and I returned a smile. A helpless smile.

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Ok, now the spoon introduction are over, starting the training