- means talk, if I think that it's necessary I will add name prefixes and I appreciate if you tell me if you find anything lacking

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I went to newspaper delivery company to do my deliveries before 7 AM. I was so happy that I had to tell my boss about my future car and how I would be more efficient with deliveries. He was half listening me when out of nowhere he asked me:

- So you will get a car today?

- Yes, isn't that awesome, I will be able to increase my deliveries by 47%.

- Hmm... then can you do me a favor?

- Sure boss, just say it!

- Friend of my stepsons third cousin aunt from mother side has asked me to deliver something to someone, nothing special, but I am too busy to deliver it. Since you will get a car then it's perfect for you to deliver it. I will even increase your today paycheck by 0.5% because I feel generous. What do you say?

- Ok, but may I ask what and where I deliver package?

- Its' nothing special, just 500 spoons and you will deliver it to restaurant „Soup and Borsch“. Here is a map with location.

Hmm, from what I can tell it doesn't seem that this will be difficult task. What can go wrong with spoons?

- Ok, boss I will do it today.

- Good, good, just keep this up and one day you will be main delivery man and you will have 3% bigger pay than rest of those ordinary delivery men.

Cheap bastard, just wait until you go to early retirement, I will take your position and make sure that you don't receive any package for rest of your life. You will feel my wraith.

- Thank you boss, you are too generous.

With talk over I went to deliver all the newspapers and after that buy groceries for breakfast and lunch. When I got home, it was already 10 AM and my parents were still fast asleep so I went to wake them up. I entered in their bedroom and opened all curtains so entire room was filled with sun rays. No response from them. I softly tried to wake them up by gently taping their shoulders. No response. Then I took their blanket off. No response, like they are vegetables. So I tried the tested method – the ice bucket. I went and filled 20l bucket with ice and cold water and splashed it over them. Finally response. They slowly opened eyes and my mom said:

- Good morning sweety, what time it is?

- 10 AM.

- Perfect, oh honey wake up!

- Let me sleep just few more hours.

Father can you be more lazy then that, and don't they usually say few minutes!

- Wake up, today is John's birthday. John, happy 18th birthday!

- Oh son, happy birthday, let me get my clothes on, get something for breakfast and the we will go pick your new car.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

I walked out of the room and prepared breakfast so that we can get my new car even 10 minutes faster. After light breakfast dad and I went to the reliable local car seller, my dads good friend, Douglas Ferrari. No, he doesn't sell Ferrari's and he doesn't have Ferrari, in fact, he has Ford Fiesta (20 years old, third generation) and he plans to be buried with it. He loves it more then his wife. When we came to him he already knew why we were here so he said:

- So Bob, finally decided to buy car for kid.

- Name is John.

- Sure kid. So Bob, what car do you have in mind?

- Doug, I want...

- Speak no more, I have just what you need. Check this beauty here. Its new model, just from Italian factory.

I have never in my life saw car ugly as that. Fiat Multipla, dream killer. If I haven't been full insomnia I would fall in coma right when I first saw it, it was that repulsive.

- Doug I don't think...

- I understand you Bob, you don't think that you have enough money for this beauty. Because we are friends I will make you a deal. Normally I would sell it for 50 000 USD, but for you my friend I will sell it for 20 000 USD and I will even include seat-belts so your kid can be safe and sound.

- Name is John and I don't like it, it's ugly.

- Sure kid. So Bob what do you say?

- I don't think that John likes it...

- Bob, your kid doesn't know anything about cars, this is the most safest car. I can guarantee it that no one will steal this car.

Or even get near it because its ugliness will make them blind.

- Doug, I don't know...

- Dad, I don't want it.

- Hear me Bob. Ugliness is relative, you should consider the safety of your kid. Do you want him to get robbed and get his car stolen. Trust me, this car will keep him safe from any harm, and he will even have seat-belts so that in unlikely case of car crash he doesn't die immediately.

So I will die little slower?Oh joy.

- John, I think that Doug has a point. This car will keep you safe. And you even got seat-belts.

I couldn't say no to my father, and my father couldn't say no to Doug so we bought that chick repellent. I can already imagine my life. Forever alone. Me and the ugly car.

When we got home my mom was pleasantly surprised. She even said that it was beautiful car. Well, she was modern artist and anyone knows that modern art is all about wtf and ugly and „why, God why!“ effect so I pitied her for her lack of aesthetic and myself for getting the Ugly.

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Ok, he finally got the car, now he can start his conquest. In the Ugly :)