Slaneesh PoV:

I was sitting in a carriage with Roberta. Franz was the vanguard of our convoy.

-"I am going to take a nap. Wake me up for dinner, please."- I said that while slowly closing my eyes and spreading my mind over the surrounding terrain.

-"As you wish My Lady. But it has been two days already as we left the Bastion and you still did not give your orders about what to do with Count Qurvaskino."- Roberta was anxious about this. She clearly wanted to go back and fuck that goy.

-"Do not worry, revenge is best when served cold. Besides his life is already hell, since his own horse castrated him."- I smiled in delight.

-"Oh, I did not know about that."- She bowed her head in apology.

-"Of course, you did not know about it, it just happened. We should inform his father that the heir of their house is now an impotent eunuch."- I closed my eyes and drifted away.

Suddenly I heard a song.

"Rise your bonne up to the sky and you never gonna die"

It was a ringtone, and I could not answer the call until I listened to it 2 times.

Congratulations your WIKIvH has been updated. vH stand for a user from Hell, v P-from Purgatory, guys from heaven have a different system.

List of changes:

-Updated data of your world.

-Added sarcastic remarks, bad jokes, user trolling.

-New achievements

-Messenger(I doubt you will ever use it)

-Quest list(Quests are given by HQ and are mandatory)

New Message:

Due to your exceptional performance in your first days of work, you have been rewarded a pat on the head.

New Quest:

1) Otherworldy World War- this world existence is not needed.

2)* Goddes of Fate- You fucked up her script, locate her...[wait for more]

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

3)* Resurrection- BY ERRECTION! Give a corpse an erection

I was reading thru all the notifications when a new message arrived.

New Message:

You can receive your pat whenever you want.

"That must be that bad joke in updates, just like that quest with Ressurection"

I closed WIKI but then Steam achievement popup appeared.

Achievement get: Get an achievement

They could add anything, but they give me a troll. Why not a music app?

Music app is a reward for a quest:

Personalized Quest: Bigus Dickus- Find the equivalent of Zeus, let him fuck you, do not get pregnant, tell his wife that he was too small to satisfy you, then show that equivalent what a big dick looks like, it can be your own dick, or one of your servants, get fucked by said servant(servant: for example Franz). For a perfect score, that wife should be fucked too.

If he is equivalent of Zeus, it means that he fuck others wives, so his can be fucked too, let's crush his ego before he dies. More depressed he became, the better music you will unlock. Worst score- POP(Justin Bieber only), Best score-(every author of every kind[metal music is sung by members of angels choirs like Lemmy])

-"HOLY SHIT!"- I scream and stood up hitting my self with the roof of the carriage.

-"What happened My Lady" - Roberta brandished her daggers.

-"Shh, be quiet. I just got a very good idea. I will tell you later when we will be alone"- My grin as wide as my physique allowed.-"I think you will like it"

-"Of course My Lady"-Roberta bowed with respect.

I wanted to say something but our carriage suddenly stopped. I sensed my surroundings again. We were surrounded by a group of almost 100 bandits. They easily crushed our escort of 20 men. Franz was nowhere to be seen.

When they dispatched all of the soldiers they tried to open the doors to my carriage, but they were locked.

-"Boss, we gota nice booty."

- "Boyz, do not toch that, chiefs gonna say wat we gunna do. Dis look to important, we do not whanna get zogged. Right?"- Their boss had a weird accent, but I think they wanted to take us to their lair and get a pretty good ransom. Thay appeared just at the right moment, I and my loli were hungry and Roberta was just itching for some action.

-"Roberta, you are a frail maid for now, not a meat grinder. I will tell when you can play."- I send a mental message to my maid, and she nodded. She knew that they are too weak to even scratch my loli skin, then what about hers or mine. Then she smiled, she knew what was going on.-"Do not smile, we are frail maidens, that are scared, and we do not want to bring them to Warp, where they will save as toys, food, and many others, right?"- Roberta immediately corrected her behavior, and we started to play. I unlocked the door.

 -"Boyz, we gonna be rich"- Their boss was smiling, I already wanted to rip his head off, because it was so annoying.-"Take them home."

They locked us in our carriage and we departed. I informed Franz about this whole situation. He wanted to slaughter them right away but I stopped him.  He will attack with his man at night and will rescue us from their base.  The plan as stupid as it looks will work only in this case because  Roberta will attack them from behind.

We were finally transported to their lair. They kicked us out of the carriage, I was sobbing and shivering in fear. Roberta tried to calm me down and hugged me.

We were walking thru their camp until we arrived before the very big hut. 3 guys left that hut, the smallest one had black hairs, second blond hairs, and biggest and I think the oldest had brown hairs.