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The Heist from Hell

Mikey couldn’t help himself, a big grin creased his lips. His idea of hiding inside the art museum before it closed, so they didn’t have to contend with the alarm system on the way in, had been brilliant, in his opinion. Checking his watch, it was time. He stepped out of the hiding place and was followed by Paulina to the Renaissance collection.

Guiding the flashlight beam over the wall, Mikey stopped it on the target. Caravaggio’s Medusa, 1597. It was beautiful and beyond that, it was worth a hundred seventy million dollars. He licked his lips. Pointing to the target, Paulina got down to business. Grabbing her tools, she began work on the alarm wired to the back of the painting.

Footsteps behind them sent a shiver up Mikey’s spine as he spun around and shined the light on Wallace, eating a donut. “What the hell are you doing here?!” Mikey hissed. “You're supposed to be keeping an eye out for the guards!”

Wallace shrugged, “I lost track of them. Found a donut in the security room though, so...there’s that.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Mikey tried not to shout too loudly. “Go find them or at least keep an eye out for God’s sake.” Wallace shrugged and walked back the way he came, still eating his donut.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Mikey let out a deep sigh before he noticed his pocket was vibrating. Pulling his phone out, it was Rob calling him. Rob, the “monitor the alarm system” Rob. The “jam any outbound signals in the area,” Rob. “Yeah?” answered Mikey.

“So I, uh, accidentally brought my work laptop,” he said.

“Is that a problem?” asked Mikey. “Tell me that’s not a problem.”

“No, no, no...I just need to know what the wifi password is for the router in the van,” replied Rob. “Then we’ll be up and running.”

“What do you m-fine. It’s…” Mikey paused. What was the password? “It’s something to do with, penguins?”

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“Wifi password?” asked Paulina while she continued work on the painting’s alarm. Mikey nodded. “PNg39e@, case sensitive.”

“Run that by me again?” asked Mikey, his voice sounding increasingly panicky. “Why can’t it ever be easy to remember?”

“You want it easy or secure?” Paulina put her tools down and snatched the phone.

While Paulina spoke on the phone, Mikey noticed Wallace stroll back over. “Why aren’t you keeping a lookout?” Mikey was losing his patience.

“Did I leave my gloves in here?” asked Wallace.

“How the hell am I supposed to know?!?”

Wallace put his hands up defensively, “Okay, calm down. I’ll find them. I was only in this room and...about five others.”

“Mikey!” he turned to find Paulina handing him his phone back. Wallace left. Mikey was taking deep breaths. It wouldn’t be much longer now. Just had to keep it together a little longer.

“Psst!”

Mikey looked over his shoulder. Rose was tip-toeing towards him. “What now?”

Rose looked confused. “I just came to say the window’s propped open for our escape,” she said.

Mikey watched her as she spoke, almost doing a double take. He shined the flashlight on her face. “Didn’t-didn’t you have...more teeth earlier?” Rose felt around her mouth and her eyes went wide. “Did you leave DNA at the crime scene?!”

“I-I mean, I...those could’ve easily fallen out before we got here,” she said with a tremor in her voice. “I’ve been meaning to see my dentist for some time now.”

“Some time?” Mikey slapped his palm over his face in frustration. Suddenly Wallace walked back into the room with gloves on but no shirt. “Found my gloves,” he said.

“But...what happened to your shirt?”

Wallace looked down, “Yeah, I lost it looking for my gloves.”

“But HOW?!” Mikey shouted. He wanted to cry. “That’s it! I’m calling this off. We’re leaving.”

“Not without this,” said Paulina, carefully taking the picture off the wall. “While you were all complaining, I disabled the alarm. Let’s get out of here.”

****

Mikey was never the same after the heist. Psychologists have speculated that the incredible stress of the heist to steal what turned out to only be a reproduction of the original work, took a toll on his mental wellbeing. One thing everyone can agree on is that whenever he sees a painting on the wall of the institution, he sobs.