Today was the day my life would change. I slapped the sticky name tag to my chest that read Brett, and stepped into the conference room. As far as meeting rooms went, it was nothing special: peach colored walls, long table, projector, random chords that probably connected something to something else. Having a seat, I unbuttoned my suit jacket, set down my legal pad. I placed two pens parallel to it, straightening them to look more professional.
The room gradually filled with other aspiring business professionals, though I’d use the word “professional” loosely. The crowd was split, half people in their mid-twenties, like me, and the rest about middle aged. Roughly thirty people found seats around the conference table, a few occupied overflow chairs against the wall.
“Good morning,” said a man brushing past the table to the front of the room. He looked like was in a hurry but didn’t want to be. “We’ll start in a minute. Feel free to grab some coffee or a donut,” gesturing vaguely to the other side of the room while powering on a laptop and connecting to a projector. I flew out of my seat at the snack table like a hawk spotting a mouse at a hundred yards.
Coffee and Boston Creme in hand, I took my seat. The first bite of the donut was everything I’d hoped for, until I looked down and saw a dollop of cream on the only suit pants I owned. I made sure no one was watching while I spit on a napkin and tried to clean up the mess. A few minutes must have gone by before I realized the presentation had already started.
“...to Endura Energy. All of you have shown interest in becoming a member of the Endura Energy Family. My name is Matthew but you can call me Bob, everyone does,” he said with a forced laugh. Picking up a stack of packet folders, he walked around the table handing them out individually. That’s when she caught my eye.
Several seats away sat a blonde, about my age, with green eyes. She had a birthmark on her right cheek, the kind you could get lost in…wondering if it looked like Sicily or just a wide thumbtack. Her golden locks fell over the shoulders of her navy pantsuit. That’s when I noticed her nametag: Celeste. That was a pretty name. The spell was broken when a folder was dropped in front of me. Matthew, sorry, Bob made his way back to his laptop and switched to the next PowerPoint slide.
“We provide an energy alternative based on entirely green, um systems,” said Bob. “This is a commission-based gig. That means you get a percentage of every sale you make. How that works is every time a new client you’ve signed up receives an electric bill, you make 20% of that bill. Now here’s where we get into some math, sorry in advance,” another forced laugh.
My eyes drifted back to Celeste scrawling something in her notebook. She laughed, everyone did. I looked back at Bob. “Amiright?” he said. My brain desperately tried to reverse-engineer the joke from the punchline. Too many pieces were missing. I looked back at Celeste and our eyes met by accident at first, but she held the gaze for a moment. I grinned stupidly and felt my cheeks flush. Quickly looking down, I began scribbling on my legal pad.
“I know what you’re thinking,” said Bob. “That doesn’t sound like a lot of money. I’m going to level with you, it’s not. The real money comes from recruiting others into the Endura Energy Family. Signing someone up to be a sales rep, like you, means you passively earn 15% commission of each sale they make.”
My notepad was accumulating haphazard numbers that I wanted to remember later but couldn’t even remember the context as I heard them. 20% commission, 15% from whomever you have under you…that you signed up…or is that per customer you sign up? I looked ahead at the PowerPoint slide, but it had already changed. The room felt sweaty all of a sudden. Was the AC even on? Loosening my tie, I unbuttoned my collar and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Celeste looking at me.Her eyes darted away as my head turned.
“Alright,” said Bob, “let’s take a little break. Use the restroom if you have to and let’s meet back in, say…ten minutes.”
Had it been an hour already? I looked at my incoherent notes as if they would be time-stamped. Suddenly, I felt transported back to Dr. Anderson’s Calculus class in college. The same one I failed twice. Take some notes, look out the window, then class is dismissed. Meanwhile, I was left feeling like Gandalf in Moria, ‘I have no memory of this place.’
Stolen novel; please report.
I could rein it back in after the break. I was a professional. I had a degree. Walking out into the hallway, I leaned my shoulder against a wall and pulled out my phone. On the wall opposite me, I saw Celeste walk over to a drinking fountain. She was right there. I should say something. Unless that was a stupid idea. If I couldn’t decide, I’d decide to stop thinking in general.
“What do you think of the presentation so far?” I asked.
She turned and smiled, “Hey, um, I don’t know. I guess it’s…a lot to process.”
“I hear that,” I replied. “I was hoping for something…”
“A little more interesting?” she offered.
“Exactly,” I chuckled. “No offense to Bob, but I can barely pay attention. I don’t even think I remember how we’re supposed to get paid doing this.”
“Oh, don’t you know the real money is the passive income generated from those underneath you,” replied Celeste in Bob’s enthusiastic tone.
“Um, if it’ll help get you started, I’ll volunteer to be underneath you,” I said, before I even realized what was coming out of my mouth. I wanted to smack my head against the wall. What a stupid thing to say. I regretted even getting out of bed this morning.
Against all odds, she laughed! Her cheeks reddened a little. “That would be a good start. I don’t currently have anyone…underneath me?” She winced, like she also regretted her choice of words.
“I’m Brett, by the way,” I extended my hand.
“Celeste,” she replied, shaking my hand. I’d never felt hands that soft before. I wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and fall asleep in those hands, like a hamster.
“So what do you do?” I asked.
“On the job hunt, actually,” she replied. Of course, just like me. The point of being at this presentation. “Trying to find steady work after college.”
“Same here,” I replied. “When did you graduate?”
“Couple years ago,” she said. “I’ve tried a few things that…weren’t my speed. I’m hoping I can turn this into my full time job, but…I don’t know if I have the confidence to approach strangers and sell them on an alternate energy provider.”
“I didn’t think I even had the confidence to approach a stranger and tell them my name,” I replied with nervous laughter.
“And look at you now,” she grinned. “You’ve come a long way in an hour.”
She was funny, in a dry wit kind of way. “That was good,” I said. “Anyone with a smile as pretty as yours should do just fine in sales. You could sell me on buying a time-share…and I’m not even clear on what that is.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Celeste laughed. “At least you have a sense of humor going for you.”
I was trying so hard to figure out if this was going well that I almost burst a blood vessel. “Looks like it’s almost time to get back,” I said, having looked at my phone. “Would you mind if I sat next to you for the rest of the presentation?”
Tilting her head, Celeste acted like she was deep in thought weighing the decision. “I think that’d be alright,” she replied.
“Welcome back, everyone,” said Bob. “We’ll be covering the last portion of the presentation now. Should just be another forty-five with the last fifteen minutes open to questions.”
Celeste’s leg brushed mine as I sat. To say my hands were sweaty would be doing a disservice to sweaty hands. My entire body felt like it would explode into pure sweat if I sneezed too hard. I wanted to ask Celeste out for coffee or literally anything after the presentation, but it dawned on me…If I asked too soon, and she said no…I’d be rejected and then stuck next to her for the next hour.
“...for a modest buy-in of four hundred fifty dollars, you get access to our network of sales reps and mentorship program,” continued Bob.
“Four hundred dollars is modest?” I whispered. Celeste smirked and gave a shrug.
It was already sounding dismal, I’d never seen myself as a salesman. Having to rely on my persuasion was like relying on rain in a desert. I could feel my mind wandering again almost immediately. Celeste doodled in her notebook. She was actually good. The tiny sketch she worked on was a human pyramid with an arrow to the one on top, with the word “me” next to it.
I leaned in and tapped my pen near the sketch, “You’re looking kind of sketchy there.”
“Excuse me,” the presenter said loudly. I looked up to find him, and then everyone else’s eyes turned to me. “If you don’t want to be here, you’re free to leave. This presentation is for people who want to make money. If that’s not you, the door’s right there.”
I’d be more embarrassed if it was something I was interested in. I stood and collected my things. Looking next to me, I asked, “Want to grab a coffee…or food…or literally anything else?” Celeste looked at all the eyes on us and started turning red. “That’s alright,” I said with a smile,” turning back to Bob. “I was just leaving.”
I walked out the door and felt like the biggest idiot. I opened the door to the stairwell, trying to remember which side of the parking lot I was in when I heard someone behind me. “Hey,” I turned to find Celeste holding her belongings. “Where are we going?”