I shudder, cold prickling my skin like sharp icicles. My body shudders with pain. It’s drenched in something icy; I feel like I am dunked in Arctic water.

Where am I? What am I doing? What is happening to me?

Questions come and keep coming, but I have no way of answering them. My eyes would not open. I have no energy even to blink.

My teeth clatter in sudden outbursts of chills. My nose and fingers sting as if I have frostbites. Any moment they might fall off and I would be a fingerless wretch. My eyes stream and I am sure the tears would be frozen.

“She lapsed again. The herbs are not working.” A faint, croaky voice comes out of nowhere.

“Keep trying.” Another voice sounds, this time male.

“It may help if you try yourself, master…”

“Not yet, Betsy. She must do this herself or she is not worth it.”

*****

Adam -

“Arome! Help me. Why isn’t he responding?”

I press my clammy hands on father’s stomach, trying to focus all my energy on the single point. My face is wet with sweat, panic written across my face as I pump frantically. The wound refuses to budge, the dark blood oozing with a steady flow, soaking the bedding below with a menacing stain. I refuse to look at it and focus on his face, his dark, ashy, tired face with eyes that tell me to stop.

“It’s no use, Adam. Do not exert yourself. You need to keep your energy.”

“No.” I refuse to budge. I refuse to give in. I am not willing to lose him. I have lost mother, Tammy, Jeff and Billy. More than half my family is gone, and I couldn’t lift a finger to save them. All I have left is Gabe, Tina and father.

A vice-like pain grips my heart. I can’t even include Danny in that list. How do you claim to lose something which you never had?

Grinding my teeth, I refocus my mind, channelling all my life source into that wound. I can feel the drain as it leaves my body, my soul. It’s a faint trickle of a warmth, a slow yet steady ray of light that originates in my heart. I have always wondered of the source, the power that granted me this boon.

So far it has never failed me. It has always answered to my demands. But today it seems it’s failing to revive my father.

“In the name of the Moon Goddess, I command you to live!”

I implore, calling upon the Goddess to help me, grant me an unlimited supply that I can empty into my dying father. His breath is hitching. The dark under his eyes looks puffier than ever.

“It’s not working, Beta. You will drain yourself, but this will not work. He has lost the will. He won’t let himself heal.”

I look askance as father flits in and out of consciousness like a undecided soul. He won’t let himself heal because he blames himself. It’s not just the regret for mother’s death, he blames himself for all of it.

Which he should not. It was my fault, and my fault alone. I have failed as a Beta. I failed to protect my pack and my family.

“Father! Please, hold on. I need you!”

I am not sure if he hears me anymore. He has closed his eyes, and his breathing has quietened. Moments pass as his chest barely moves. Arome checks his pulse, then tucks his hand under a thin blanket.

“There is not much we can do in this state. Let me tend to you, Beta. You need it as much as he does.”

“But Arome…” I shake my head, not daring to lose contact with father. What if he stops breathing the moment I let him go?

“You must preserve your energy, Beta. We need you now more than ever.”

He grabs my hands to clean them with a towel, then makes me sit in a chair. Standing in the front, he places his left hand on my head with his right hand gently touching my heart. Another form of energy flows into me, magical, medicinal and healing. My nerves respond unwillingly, my wolf’s body giving in to the power of the magic.

“Thank you, Arome.” I sign and get up. The relief is instant, yet a part of me refuses to accept it. The galling pain remains, gnawing at my heart.

I wince as I get up. Arome raises an eyebrow.

“You need one more thing.” He turns to his medicine cabinet to get a vial out. A familiar amber liquid sloshes inside, making me frown. Isn’t that…?

“You need this as much as Danny needed it.” He says, giving me a pointed look. “You have all the symptoms, same as her.”

What the heck!

“Rubbish, Arome!” I shoot up from the chair as if scalded. “I do not need this. It’s not like I got rejected. And my symptoms…they are not rejection symptoms. My pain is due to losing my family.”

“Your family’s loss is one reason, but you know as well as I do, there is another eating you up, Beta. If you insist on denying and suffering, it’s your call. But I would advise not to be arrogant. Accept what fate has dealt you. A rejection for a rejection, and you must deal with it.”

“I said there was no rejection. She just jumped off the cliff…”

“And she did it because she gave up. You were right in the front telling her you are her mate and still she chose to jump. Some would say it’s an outright rejection.”

“Goddess, Arome, just listen to yourself!” I laugh, trying to shake off his words. All Danny did was to give me that pained look. It told me she had lost faith. She did not want anything to do with me, mate or not. It was fate, her destiny that defeated her. Not me.

And then she was not a person like that. She would never reject me knowing it’s consequences.

“She cannot reject me, Arome.” I say tiredly, running a hand in my hair. “She was too sweet for that. Too innocent. She can never…she would never…”

My words stick in my throat as I gulp, breathing like a drowning man. Her sweet face floats in front of my eyes…sweet, yet deathly pale.

Arome rushes forward, to thrust the bottle in my hand.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“Just take it, Beta. Times are hard. And Silver Shadows cannot bear another loss.”

I pocket the bottle and return home, thoughts of Danny swirling around my head like angry bees. They poke me, prod me, leaving me with stinging bites. It’s a pointless battle. The more I ward them off, the more vengeance they come back with.

Grunting in frustration, I stride to the house to see Tina sitting on the steps. An early dusk has settled in and in the dim glow of the porch light, she looks like a sad child.

My heart twists with another wave of guilt. She must be feeling lonely. The house that used to be full of people now barely hosts a few. And Gabe is unlikely to have spent any time with her considering his new pursuit.

“Hey buddy! How are you?” I sit next to her and wrap my arms around her shoulder, pecking her forehead

She looks up, her face lighting with smile.

“Adam. I was waiting for you.”

“I am sorry, bud. I should have been with you but…”.

She shakes her head vigorously.

“It’s okay. I know you are busy with father. Is he... well?”

“Better.” I shift the answer, looking at her innocent face. She does not know the full details and I cannot enlighten her. It will break her heart so soon after mother. There is no news of Tammy and Billy, but I doubt they are safe. The witches and the vampires are notorious for their cruelty.

“Why are you sitting here alone? No homework today?” I ruffle her hair to change the topic. “I can lend you a hand if you wish, just don’t expect me to be as good as Danny.”

She gives a faded smile, looking into the distance. “Do you know who sat here with me the last time?”

Danny? She is the one spending time with Tina most lately. Maths brought them together but I know their bond goes further.

“Who?” I ask aloud.

“It was Danny. We sat here waiting for you when you went looking for those rogues. Danny saw you getting hurt and was panicking herself. But she knew you would come back. She told me so.”

“She did?”

“Yes. She told me you are the bravest, most courageous person she ever knew. She was so proud. She gave me so much hope that day.”

My face clouds with shame and I thank the goddess it’s too dark for Tina to see it. I feel like a fraud, let alone the bravest, most courageous person.

Pursuing my lips. I look away. “What else did she say?”

“She told me to keep faith. That you would sort out the rogues and come back. I never doubted it, but she was almost consoling herself. It felt nice, you know? To have someone care so for my brother.”

“Right, I think you are making it all up, little girl!” I ruffle her hair with a playful smile. I just need to shut her up. The talk leaves me reeling. It’s worse than Arome’s little advice. I get the bottle out of my pocket to take a gulp. Tina squints her eyes.

“What’s that?”

“Just a little tonic to rebuild strength.” I get up, pulling her up with me. “And now it’s time for dinner and bed.”

*****

“How dare you! Put that back.” I thunder, barging into Danny’s room. Tina watches from behind as I push in and apprehend the thief. We have finished dinner and were coming upstairs when I noticed this movement in the corridor.

It’s her own sister, riffling through her stuff as if she owns it now. Anger bubbles inside me, but I do not know the reason. All I know is that no one should be here. No one is allowed to touch Danny's things, except for me.

“Get out of here. How dare you break in!”

She startles and stands back, cowering near the wall. “I am not breaking in. This is my sister’s room.”

“You are breaking in, and stealing from your own sister. Hand it back, now.”

It’s hard to control and my voice quivers with rage. I do not understand it but do not stop to think. All I want is for this girl to hand me whatever she has stolen. It’s mine. It’s Danny’s. This girl has no right over it.

“I say give it back.” The air goes still. The temperature suddenly shoots up as my body emanates wrath. I do not know what is happening, neither do I care.

“Did you not hear me? I said…”

“What’s going on?” I turn to find Gabe, rushing into the already crowded room. He pushes past me to Olivia, who looks visibly relieved.

“Gabe! Thank goodness you are here.” She whines to him like a child, making me cringe. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I was sorting out things here before disposing them off, but it seems your brother has some problem.”

The words scald me like a hot iron. “There is no need to dispose anything off. It’s none of your business and this room is unused anyway. Just leave it alone.”

“It’s my sister’s stuff and I own it now that she is…”

“It’s my mate’s stuff and I own it more than you.”

The words are out of my mouth before I could think. They stare at me dumbfounded. I feel my face heating.

There are not many who know the truth. Arome knows it and then Danny. I had my reasons not to disclose it and they were valid but it’s unlikely anyone will appreciate them.

Gabe’s face is blank as he stares in shock. Olivia raises her eyebrows, pressing her mouth to curb her laughter but it bursts out anyway.

“Wh…what? What did you say?” She laughs, throwing her head back. I watch ashen faced. It was a mistake to blurt it out like this. Not for me, but for poor Danny.

“You…the great Beta of the pack, and that mongrel?” She laughs hysterically, her cruel face shining with glee. Hot blood thunders in my veins, hands itching to wring her neck. How dare she insult her own sister!

Gabe raises a warning eyebrow and holds her arm. “That’s enough, Olivia.”

“Oh please.” She swats him away, turning back to me. “This is too funny. So you are her mate and want to preserve her things after she is gone. How lovely! But where were you when she was alive, if I may ask? Why did you not show your affection and claim her like a proud mate would do?”

“It’s none of your business.” I grind my teeth, my knuckles straining white to keep my claws in. She shakes her head.

“You…you were too ashamed. First she was a pathetic human and then a pathetic mongrel. It hurt your ego and you let her suffer and die. And you have the guts to tell me off. I swear, Adam Stevens. I have never seen a coward like you.”

“I say be quiet!” I thunder, rage clouding my brain. It doesn’t help that every word out of her horrendous mouth is true. It’s another thing that I never thought of Danny in those terms and Olivia is off by miles, but I can barely justify my actions. I just need to hold on. I need to save what’s left of Danny.

“Just shut your mouth. You have no right to talk to me like this Olivia. It’s you who treated her unfair and caused her pain. You always wanted to be superior and could not take it when no one would look at you. And now you have the guts to come here and scavenge through her things you have no right to. Shame on you, Olivia.”

She looks thunderstruck, as if I have found her Achilles heel. I take a step forward, until I am towering over both of them. My wolf rages, urging me to let him go. It takes me monumental effort to contain that beast.

“Leave this instant. You have no right to anything in this house. In fact, pack your bags and leave. You are not needed here.”

“What did you say?” Her laughter fades, eyes flashing in anger. I grind my teeth as fury exudes my very being.

“I said you may leave the house at this instant. If you are a proper wolf, you would find your own occupation and make yourself useful. Enough of sponging off my family’s charity.”

“You dare to...!”

“I command it. Leave at once. Gabe, take her away.”

“I am sorry brother. I can’t.”

I whirl to him, shocked. “What did you say?”

“I said I can’t.” He shrugs. “Olivia is my mate and has every right to stay with me. Moreover, she would like to lay her claim for Alpha position.”

The air stills. His words sound in my ears like a deafening thunder.

“Gabe, I think you are out of your mind. Do you even know what you are saying?”

“I am fully aware what I am saying, brother.” He exhales, taking a stance that I recognise too well. Feet apart, shoulders squared, head hunched like a hawk. His eyes watch me warily as if I am some enemy. My anger dissipates like a leaked balloon.

What is this coming to? Do I now have to fight my own brother?

“Gabe. Control yourself. This will not end well.”

“You are in no position to threaten me, brother.” He says, his eyes never leaving me, “Father is dying, if not already dead. I never knew Danny was your mate, and I am sorry that she is no longer alive. But you let her go and hampered your chance even more. The pack would want someone settled and stable, not someone like you, moping about your dead lover. I am second in line and my mate is Rey Armstrong’s rightful heir. We want to rule, and we lay our claim. You can fight it out, but I would suggest you do not as it will only ruin the pack further.”

“You are insane. This is all bullshit! You will never…” Even as I say it, I know he is right. It all sounds logical, just common sense. I myself should have thought of it before.

A ghost of a smile flickers Gabe's handsome face.

“I will never what, brother? Did you think I will always want to live in your shadow? Be the third best and be ignored? If you think that, it’s your fault.”

I shudder as his words hit me like a lightening. He has thought it out. Every word of him is true. I have never shown an interest in another mate and have also let my fated mate go. If ever there was an unsuitable person for the position, it is me. The pack needs someone with a stable family and future. Not a free radical like me.

Gabe has a point. There is no one but me who can challenge Olivia. And I have no right to do it. If mother was here, she would not let me do anything that would harm the pack.

“The choice is yours.” Gabe says, holding Olivia’s hand to lead her out. “Think carefully. I am sure you are not so selfish as to hamper the pack’s chances just to save your ego.”

***** *****