Danny -

I stand in the city centre, my hand stilled on an empty canvas ready to draw. A little girl is sitting in front of me, nervous yet preening, her big blue eyes wide with eagerness and expectation. The expression has my heart racing as a flicker of embarrassment crosses my mind. This must be how I have looked when I spoke to Gerhart about my request.

Eager. Apprehensive. Scared of how my new avatar will look. Naïve and innocent, yet ready to put myself out there to see how it will turn out to be.

Gerhart has not come back to me. It’s been more than a week since our last chat. There is no way to contact him. I do not even know if he is in Khlem Torrat.

But even if he gets back with an answer, I do not think I am ready for it. Something tells me I rushed my decision, that I should have waited a bit longer. Fate might have some plan. Surely it cannot mean to let me spend all my life as a nobody in Khlem Torrat.

This city is made of people like me—ill-fated, incapable, having accepted their fate with a smile on their face. They are grateful for the safety of this city. They are content with the life it offers.

Unlike me, they have come to terms with their grievances. One mind tells me that’s the right way to live my life. Let go and embrace the future as a commoner. Another mind tells me not to bow to my destiny. Fight it, conquer it and snatch from its cruel hands what is your birthright.

Yet everything depends on Gerhart. I wait, my mind toggling between what’s right and wrong, when two days later, Mirabel plonks happily in front of me.

“How do I look,?

“What?”

Mirabel makes a face.

“I asked how I look. Where are you, Danny? I am seeing for the past few days you are worried about something.”

“Ah. I’m just a little tired.” I give a dismissive smile, then realize the reason for her question. She is dressed to the nines, wearing a floral lavender dress. Trinkets of silver adorn her neck and wrists and on her arm is a white faux fur coat.

“Flash! Flash! Remember something?” She wriggles her eyebrows as a lightbulb goes in my head. Tonight is the full moon night.

“Oh! I totally forgot!” I shake my head in surprise. I have been spending all my time brooding. I have hardly paid attention to anything else. The Full moon night of the month. Which is also when people are most likely to find their fated mates. And if you are choosing a mate, this is the night they perform the acceptance ceremony.

“Why are you bouncing so much? You don’t have a mate.” I raise my eyebrow at Mirabel’s enthusiasm. Her fated mate left her, and that’s why she is here. Although she is long over him, I can’t see why she is so happy. “Or have you found someone else?”

She huffs, puffing her cheeks.

“I haven’t. But who says I won’t find someone special tonight? And if not, I might find someone just to have fun.”

Right. I smile and wrap up my stall for the day.

“You know, you should also come. There is nothing like a wild night to relieve your loneliness.”

“I am not lonely.” My reply is quick and curt as I collect my pencils and rub the cleaning cloth on my fingers to remove the grime. “I am just occupied. There are things that I need to address.”

“And those things are about your mate. I can tell, Danny. I have been there.”

I purse my lips, not replying to her wild guesses. Wild, because I don’t think I gave her any indication of what was bothering me for the past week. I have been normal, well, as normal as I can be.

I do not discuss my dreams in which I am back on those cosy nights with someone. The fuzzy warmth, the longing ache as I try to find a certain someone in a misty haze. The memories that had faded after those meds were making their way back. I do not have Arome’s potion anymore, neither can I discuss my condition with someone else. I have not discussed the heartache when I wake up to the reality. Why the past keeps chasing me, I have no clue. It’s not even a proper dream, just a fragment of fleeting feelings that pop out my ailing heart unbidden, annoying the hell out of me.

My mate has moved on. He has found someone else. Why is it that my brain understands, but my heart refuses to accept?

“Come with me to the woods tonight. I promise it would be worth your while.”

“I am sorry, Mirabel. I am too tired for silly parties.”

“It’s not a silly party.” Mirabel looks offended. “It’s a sacred gathering to celebrate the goddess’s blessings. Gerhart organises it for us to have a good time. We all deserve it after the suffering we have been through.”

I get what she is saying. Most of the people here are either hunted or haunted. Cheated by fate, rejected by loved ones. If anyone deserves some light moments, it’s these people.

I too am one of them, but cannot bring myself for any celebration.

“Please Mirabel. I can’t…”

“I would love for you to come.” A calm voice interrupts me from behind. I turn in surprise to find Gerhart standing a few feet away. “Your friend is right. It’s a sacred night when the goddess grants our wishes. If any good is to happen, it would be tonight.”

"Does it mean you have accepted?” My voice is eager, yet tinged with apprehension.

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Gerhart purses his lips. “You would know tonight.”

*****

The woods where the party is held are outside the dome of the mountain. On one side is the open desert with barren icy landmass stretching to the horizon. Behind us is the mountain range that houses the city. To our right are clusters of tall firs swaying in the gentle breeze. The moon hangs low, washing the dark leaves with a silvery glow. Underneath there is revelry unlike any other I have seen.

“I didn’t know this is your idea of being sacred.” I comment wryly, walking with Mirabel as we reach the woods. The scene in the front could be an equivalent of the mythological garden of eve. The area is barely lit, relying mostly on the pale moonlight. The dark is intentional as it provides a cover for the salacious activities. It's mating alright, but only in its crudest form. There is booze, music, raucous laughter. People hug, kiss, flirt and make out with abandon. I wonder if anyone is bothered to find a true mate. They are here to have a fun time.

I look away as heat creeps to my neck. It’s so embarrassing I want to make an about turn.

“Don’t be a prude.” Mirabel chastises. “Everyone here is miserable, and it’s one way to let our hair down. It’s nothing different from those parties you have in the human world.”

I shake my head, shivering through my woollen coat. I would like a drink; my throat feels inexplicably dry. Mirabel may be right, but then I have not been to any of those before to compare.

As we pass the thick tree trunks, desperate moans can be heard. Flesh slaps on flesh, making me cringe. I turn to Mirabel to find she is not with me.

“Mirabel? Where are you?”

Panicked, I look around when I spot her lavender dress fluttering hurriedly down a side path. She is with someone. They talk and she looks back, waving a hand at me, mouthing a ‘be right back’. My heart jumps to my throat.

What is this girl doing? Why did she leave me alone? And what am I supposed to do now?

Gerhart asked me to be here, yet he is nowhere to be seen. I would rather not meet him in such a place. It’s a sudden reminder of what I am asking to get into. I had not given it much thought as it never occurred to me how intimate intimacy could be. I am not ready for this. No, no, no …

I turn and dash back on the path I came, my legs breaking into a desperate run. Somehow, I find myself out of those woods and back in safer territory. It’s only a few hundred meters from the gates of Khlem Torrat when a figure in the path blocks my way.

His dark robes flow in a gentle breeze as the moon illuminates his speckled hair. It’s too dark for me to fathom his expression, though the aura he emanates is unnerving.

I come to a halt a few feet away. My chest heaves as my heart tries to tone down it’s hammering. I suddenly know what is going on. This was a test, and I have failed it.

I stare without a word. For a long moment, the night halts to a standstill. Gerhart grunts, then walks towards a hillock into the mountain. I follow him meekly as the darkness engulfs us, an eerie silence sweeping the sounds of the night.

He stops as we reach the hill, then turns back.

“You lied to me.”

I shudder at the chill in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

It takes me a moment to compose my thoughts. Tonight is a setup. Gerhart invited me here intentionally. He wanted to show me what entails to be mates. It’s not lovey-dovey, saccharine-sweet like the books I read or movies I have watched. This is as real as it can get.

It’s a test to check if I am up to it. Gerhart probably does not trust me, and so this party to confront me with the truth. It’s his ploy to unsettle me and test the conviction of my resolve.

I look up at his face that is cold as the icy wind swirling around us. The sweat beads on my brow feel solidifying. Whatever his tricks, I have nothing to hide. I am firm in my decision, and I have nothing to lie about.

“I did not lie. You cannot accuse me of lying.”

“Withholding information is equivalent to lying.” His voice is quiet as a storm.

“Only if it’s relevant, which I think is not the case.” I stand defiantly.

“You know it is.” He retaliates.

“It is not.”

He grunts in frustration.

“Then why do I smell someone else on you?” He asks, his not a hair out of place despite the wind.

My heart shivers as I stare at him. What does he mean? I have not shared with him my fleeting scrape with destiny, that I had a fated mate before. But that’s done and dusted, well in the past. What does it have to do with Gerhart?

“Someone else?”

“Yes, Diane. Someone else. I told you before, you are more like Adele than you think. And every day you are proving me right.”

His words sting. I flare in irritation.

“And pray tell me what I did that reminded you of her?”

“These lies! You lied to me. You kept the most important information from me. You tried to cheat me with your false words. That’s Addelyne through and through.” He steps forward, tipping my chin up with a cold finger. Darkness thickens around us, pressing its walls around me. An oppressive feeling washes over me, as if a pressure is being applied to comply. To obey and be meek.

Gerhart’s scent….it has changed. Under the sweet, beguiling odour there is something else. It’s a dark, ancient being, standing in wait. It watches me carefully, as if assessing its opponent. Its red eyes are greedy, saliva dribbling down its puckered lips.

I wince at the image conjured in my mind. Frazzled, I try to shake his hand, but it stays firm on my chin.

To my shock, he places his other hand on my heart.

“Here. I sense someone here. It’s not Adele, whose magic has left your heart withered. It’s someone else who has tried to heal it before. Who is it?”

My body heats and my heart thuds in alarm. An overwhelming unease takes me, my instinct screaming to break free, but I cannot do anything. It’s as if I am under a spell. I cannot move an inch.

“Tell me the truth, Diane. The first law of mating is to trust each other. If there’s someone who can heal you, why do you need me? What are you hiding? If you want me to undo the curse, I must understand what I am dealing with.”

I swallow, trying to wet my parched mouth. The icy wind has picked up speed, whipping around us in a mad rush. This small hillock feels like the only island in a dark, stormy ocean. Any moment the wind will lift us up, carrying me away over the inky abyss around.

I shake my head, trying to keep my senses. Maybe it’s time to come clean. I need to stop this. It’s driving me insane, my eyes watering, my brain numbs with cold.

“All you are dealing with is Grandma’s curse.”

“And?”

“And one more thing.” I say, my eyes filling unbidden. For some reason, it does not feel right to bring Adam into this mess. This is my matter with Gerhart, and Adam is in the past. But more than that, there is an unease. Something deep down prohibits me from revealing my innermost vulnerability.

“Speak.” Gerhart commands in a tone that would not allow any more defiance. My resistance crumbles.

“I was helped before by someone. He was my mate, but he rejected me. It was long ago and now he has moved on with someone else.”

“You had a fated mate?”

“Yes.”

“Who was he? Was he a wolf?”

“That’s not relevant.”

He grunts, curling a lip.

“And why did he reject you?”

“Because I was not worthy of him.”

His hand drops from my chin to my arm. His fingers curl about my upper arm in a tight grip. I am unsure what he is thinking. I am unable to see his eyes, his face. Only his aura is palpable. It’s changing. The sweet fragrance is wearing, making way for a pungent, cloying smell.

My unease wells in tidal waves.

“Gerhart, I am sorry. I know I should have told you, but it really is not important. It is all in the past. There is no bearing on my life now or what choices I make.”

“So you think.” His grip on me tightens as the wind suddenly dies down. A hush falls around us as if the world has come to a standstill.

I blink in confusion, my mind whirring.

“Gerhart…I…”

“I accept.”

“What?”

“I accept to be your chosen mate. I accept to help undo Addelyne’s curse. But for that we need to go back to her resting place to perform the final the ritual.”

***** *****