Hello all~
Note from the author here just doing a break down and my final thoughts now that the story is complete.
Thank you for reading my story. I know the viewership has dropped off, and that a handful of comments are pointing out plotholes or asking questions, and im sorry I couldn’t be more active. If anything, its because I was scared to look at the comments. They gave my anxiety just thinking about someone not liking it, and needing to *open up comments to check* was just too much.
But as this story ends, I do want to acknowledge how kind you all have been. Just seeing that I was getting any sort of views is what made me want to keep going, which got me to the end. And now, I want to do a bit of a breakdown of the story, because while I know many people are happy to enjoy and move on, I personally wrote this to help new authors in the dungeon core genre. I wanted people to see what it was capable of, and to change the format. I messed up in places, sure, but I did my best and I just hope that by getting into the details of my choices other people can do better.
Starting off with my outline and setup, there were many things that changed, but some had a strong followthrough, such as the Core’s name. He was called a dozen different things, but each one started with his letter, C. Crown, Client, Creator, and so one.
This was deliberately because Avice (A), the antagonist, was always stopped by Baros (B) getting in the way. Dekrin (D) caused a lot of havoc as he flanked, but in the end he was just too far away to be of any help in the end.
Between drafts and outline, a lot of these characters changed and got better, but Shimmer was not one of them. I always had a strong sense of who she was since the very first moment. I knew she would always be a kind slime that evolved from plants to light affinities. At the time it was to better interact with System who after being rejected by the Core would go to Shimmer for validation.
Most the other characters saw massive reworks. Vault was supposed to be an urban slime that fed on dust and rats, but ended up a detective. Echo was supposed to be a golem that copied people’s spells… and at the time Joulo didn’t even exist. Actually in the first draft the gods weren’t apart of the story, since the whole ‘dead god’ thing that kicked off the plot.
She was only added later so I could symbolize the ripple of actions the Dungeon caused, and that flowed back. I couldn’t find a way to show this off screen, or give the weight to its actions as the world reacted to its existence.
System also saw a lot of changes between drafts. I had to reel them in to be way less snobby and arrogant. Here is actually an excerpt from my first draft, as Shimmer and System interact.
> The slime was an imperfect being, created from literal bacteria. Of course, System was not one to judge on ones origin, as all organisms in the world served a purpose. No, System’s current disappointment in the slime stemmed from the simple fact that it was currently running away with the dungeon core.
> The creature was tasked with defending the core, a command it should feel innately but System wanted to make sure it would not be forgotten. Slimes aren't known for their intelligence after all. This manifested in attempting to eat the core [to defend it internally], and then run away with it. As less than ideal as the circumstances were, there was a saving grace in the fact the slime had spent a month burrowing 10ft through the ground. The rate of its escapades was well within a rate that could be monitored. Consuming the dirt in its path to be converted into mana far faster than the core was capable of alone.
[The exchange would go on with System insulting the slime a lot more, being condescending and that it was only useful because there was nothing better, before realizing that System was being a bit transphobic.]
> “I'm not it. I'm she.” Came the curt reply from the ooze actively eating soil.
>
> Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
>
> “You are a slime drooling on the Core that created you. You were designated to be a slime, not a she.”
>
> “A she slime,” with all the wobbling that such emphasis would put on a slime’s body. The Core bounced within its gelatin suspension from the ripples.
>
> System was not one to argue. It was a guide made of perfect logic capable of advising all, above petty squabbles. The slime was created to serve a purpose, not to get upset over System detailing the steps needed to create a dungeon. Yet the slime had made it its goal in life to be disillusioned with a perceived gender it claimed to have. Unfortunately, the lack of further reply made the slime believe it had won their ‘argument’ as it returned to happily munching on plant matter.
….. [lots more commentary on the nature of asexual creatures, but after realizing she was helping he relented] …..
> The slime may not have had a gender, but the pronouns brought joy to the diligent worker. There was no harm in such a small thing continuing for a bit longer. Afterall, she had earned it.
While there were many aspects to this early drafts I liked, they were never upto my own standards. They moved too fast, the actions and successes had no weight (though the current story being only full of half successes didn’t do much better), or were just poorly written.
So after scrapping the first chapter 5 times, I made the one that ended up becoming this story. It wasn’t perfect, but I did try. I failed going too hard into third person when I combined that with unreliable narrators because they weren’t smart enough to know what they saw. It meant to hold true to the characters I had to skip details I had deemed important, and give this whole story a generic vibe as no one paid close enough attention until the very end to actually see each other.
Also didn’t help how I made some rule that every chapter something had to happen. I was tired of so many slow burn DC stories where some chapters are just recaps, or checking in on monsters who didn’t have anything to report. So I kept moving, which worked, but I didn’t get to give attention to the adventurers nor the monsters, and was forced for each one to be reintroduced to the story only when they mattered.
Everyone has their own thoughts, and may have not even realized this story was anything less than 5 stars, but these are just some of the things I had to cut to stay true to my vision and regretted later on.
But that is over, and I will be moving on to new projects!
Well… I didn’t want to, promised myself I would only write the one to show people dungeon stories can be about more.
Anyways, I started a new project, 2 actually. Going to spend a few months on break, and writing a backlog, and not sure what one will take priority, but I got time to figure it out. Currently deciding between:
* Dungeon of Dreams: broken before he could form, this dungeon doesnt have monsters or a system, but as access to the minds of the slavers that destroyed his core. He will force them to see the error of their ways by tampering with their minds and driving them insane as he builds an incomporal dungeon that exists only in dreams. Ghosts, sleep walking, and freeing the slaves.
A little hesitant to write this because i'm not sure how tactful I can write abuse, but I really like the tag line “empathy is a disease I plan to give you a terminal case of.”
My other option is an isolated solarpunk dungeon. In a desert that has overtaken the ancient world, a dungeon is born. Without people to grow it has to use ecosystems and monsters, but this world is truly dead so there is nothing to build off of. The core and its fairy must create the tech to grow plants in a world that wants them dead, starting at cottage core and moving through the ages.
Further through the planning stage on this one, but i'm not sure where I want to take it. Do I want to introduce nomads in chapter 15, or stay completely isolated in a dead world?
If you have any opinions, or ideas, or just want help writing your own dungeon core story I do have a discord. Its not much, but I have a list of all known dungeon core stories, and enjoy helping new people write their own stories.
So regardless of anything, I hope you are able to stop by, even if it's just to share an idea you had but will never write yourself.
With that, I close this book for good. I hope you all enjoyed, and that if nothing else, you have a good day.
After all, you deserve it~