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I have not.

“It had been, what, a year and then some since we met last? How have you been, Helen?” I said this to my ex-girlfriend, who froze with a complicated expression on her beautiful face.

I gave her another once-over, something that I would never get tired of doing. She was just that damn beautiful. Even though it was obvious that she wasn’t bringing out her A-game today. Far from it.

She looked irritated, lost, and a bit sleepy; no make-up whatsoever; hair gathered into a simple tail under a baseball cap; casual clothes with emphasis on convenience rather than looks. Hm, I think it was the first time I’ve seen her wearing a hoodie, pair of sweatpants, and sneakers.

Even with all of the above, she somehow looked better than the vast majority of women I had ever met. Eh, Mother Nature was really unfair.

“Not bad. What about you?” Helen finally responded as my eyes went for a third lap across her figure.

“Bored to death, though it became much better recently.” I held back a chuckle, fully knowing how true my words actually were.

“I see...” she drawled with another complicated expression. “Mind if I sit here, or you are not alone?”

“Sure thing. I would love some company right about now.” I responded, gesturing to an empty seat across the table.

Hm, this was pretty awkward. And, frankly, I felt a bit down overall. Helen’s presence here meant that she chose to ignore my messages back then.

Her being Claire’s ‘pretty friend’, and, at the very least, a self-proclaimed ‘best friend’ at that, meant that Counter Girl should’ve discussed me at one point or another. Then again, Claire knew me as Tian, and I don’t remember her taking any pictures of me.

Then Claire’s story about her friend emerged in my memory. Her friend had been stressed out and in a bit of a slump lately. A stupid part of me wanted to believe it was somehow because of my message, but rationale told me that it most likely wasn’t.

Who would believe that someone like Helen Smith couldn’t move on from some stupid man like me for over a year?

I felt a pang of heartache and even some misguided sense of jealousy and loss. For fuck’s sake, she held on for nine months. What right did I have to expect even more from her?

Also, my relationships were complicated as fuck anyway. Ugh, there was also Nicole, who promised me revenge, and Su. Speaking of Su, why the fuck did I give her that condition again?

I felt like I forgot someone, but... on second thought, screw it. I felt my head ache just thinking about this.

So, I decided not to make it extra awkward for everyone involved. She was my girlfriend's best friend; let’s settle with this and move on.

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Fuck me sideways.

As everything above kept flashing through my mind and the silence was about to stretch into an awkward one, a waiter came to our table with my order.

“Oh, Helen, my angel, you finally decided to grace me with your presence. I don’t know how to express my gratitude, so I can only dedicate my life to you and marry you!” I almost applauded the guy since he could deliver such a corny speech with a straight face while also serving the tray of dishes onto the table.

“Jaime. I've told you many times already. I like you as a friend, but that’s the extent to which I would ever be able to see you. Your advances are unwelcome and, to speak frankly, irritate me very much.” Huh, I could understand where she was coming from, but was there a reason to explode on a poor guy?

Though, not going to lie; I felt some dark satisfaction hearing her shut down another guy directly like that.

The guy in question took it like a champ. Even though I could see some hidden pain in his eyes, he still kept his smile.

“Is this about that mythical ex of yours? Just what kind of sorcery did he use to make you think about him so much after a year of ghosting you?” The waiter couldn’t hold it in completely and mouthed off a bit.

Before Helen could hurt his feelings even more and make it even more awkward overall, I decided to join in the conversation.

“Well, he called her a ‘kooky girl’ on their first date. On the second, he beat five guys who couldn’t understand that no is a no into hospital, so she had to bail him out of a local police station,” I chimed in, looking at how Helen's face started getting redder and redder with every word that left my mouth. “Oh, and on the third, he got into a shouting match with her grandpa over, and I quote, ‘Corrupting his little princess’.”

I barely held back the desire to cackle like the madman I am, remembering the red-faced Frank Smith, who decided to visit his granddaughter, only to be welcomed with the sight of me leaving the shower wearing only a towel.

“Darling!” exclaimed a flustered Helen.

Huh? What did she call me? Man, I really should check my hearing. Those auditory hallucinations are getting out of hand.

“But I think you are wrong about one thing. Helen did move on. I am flattered she kept me in her heart for nine months, but that should no longer be the case.” I shook my head for better effect.

“Not...” Helen whispered something.

“Hm, did you say something?” I asked for confirmation.

“I have not...” Another barely audible whisper followed.

The guy, whatever his name was, stood rooted in place, shifting his eyes between Helen and me.

Of course, I put two and two together, but a part of me refused to believe my ears without being told clearly.

“Sorry, mind repeating it again? I didn’t quite manage to hear it clearly.” I left the part about wanting to hear her say it unspoken.

My lips stretched into a smile.

The most beautiful woman I had ever seen glared at me while sitting across the table, completely flustered. She knew I was teasing her. Eh, what would she do?

“I said,” Helen looked me dead straight in the eyes. “That I have not moved on yet. If you have trouble with it, bite me.”

I actually felt happy hearing those words. And yet, I also felt completely dismayed by them.

Would I be able to make a choice like that? I wanted Helen too much to just play it cool, like I did with Nicole. Yet, I wouldn’t be able to just forget Bella and Olivia. And then there was also Claire...

Ah, fuck. Things just turned much more complicated all of a sudden.