Well, maybe calling her crazy was pushing it a bit too far, but there were certainly a few loose screws in that pretty head of hers.

After that declaration, Helen and Claire spent about fifteen more minutes catching up. Women…

Though, now that I think about it, I was glad that the ex-loner Helen finally found herself a friend. Yeah, this realization certainly took a while.

After arguing a bit about who would pay the bill, which she ultimately won by ambushing me with an irrefutable argument:

“Have you forgotten my family name, darling? And, eh, who cares? My money is yours anyway.”

The conviction in her tone made me question if I was the weird one here for a moment.

Anyway, yeah, there certainly were a few loose screws.

***

I looked out of the car window. Yeah, it was obvious. We were stuck in a traffic jam. Who could have guessed?

Well, I had nowhere to hurry anyway, and the passenger seat was very comfortable, so I just decided to kick back and chill for a while.

“Hey, Helen, have you ever thought about buying a helicopter?” I asked an important question.

“Grandpa owns a few, so, no, not really. Why do you ask, darling?” My not-anymore-ex-girlfriend turned to look at me.

“Dunno, traffic has been pretty annoying as of late, and I don’t see it becoming less of a problem as time goes on,” I explained.

Through the rearview mirror, I watched how her expression turned into one of contemplation. Then she shook her head.

“If you want one, it’s easy to organize. But it’s not really that much more convenient from day to day. Unless you only go to places with helipads,” Helen said.

Her argument was sound, but I could swear I heard a voice that screamed, ‘Do it anyway, you big spender,’ at me. Do I really need to visit a doctor?

Anyway, we were currently on our way to Helen’s apartment. If you can even call that three-story penthouse monstrosity as such. I really needed a shower and, maybe, a change of clothes.

Judging by how Helen looked away when I asked if she still kept my spare wardrobe at her place, yeah, it was a useless question.

I felt like I kept forgetting something, though. My phone’s ringtone started playing. The one that was designated for Olivia’s number.

Oh. Right.

“Hello,” I said as I picked up the call.

“Honey!” My girlfriend sounded as enthusiastic as ever.

Helen took her eyes off the road since we, once again, were completely stuck. I caught her gaze and shrugged.

“How was the party?” I asked.

I was genuinely interested in how Olivia spent the evening.

A not-so-short retelling of their group visiting karaoke followed. With how enthusiastic her tone was, I came to the conclusion that the time was well spent.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Maybe I should’ve gone with you,” I only half-joked.

“I don’t think we would’ve been able to make Su sing so much with you present.” On second thought, she was right. “If you feel curious, I will show you videos later.”

“Sounds fun,” I said, nodding, forgetting that it wasn’t a video call.

“So, um, honey. We, as in me and girls, are planning to go out some more today.” Her voice was quieter and quieter as she continued this phrase.

“And I’m not invited?” I asked, feeling a bit concerned.

“No.” She was quick to deny, only to catch how easy her words were to misunderstand, so she started correcting herself. “I mean yes. Erm. Argh. You are more than welcome, if you wish so.”

I smiled, seeing how Helen silently snickered and shook her head at my antics.

“I just thought you would want to spend more time today with Claire. Alone.” Meanwhile, Olivia continued. “How was your date, by the way?”

It was my turn to sigh loudly and regale the tale of how I spent my night.

“Wait, wait, wait. Claire left you all alone on a Friday evening?” My girlfriend sounded genuinely concerned.

“Yes?” I didn’t quite understand what bothered her so much.

“How many?” Followed a strange question.

“What?” She lost me there.

“You. Alone. On any night through the weekend...” Olivia started explaining in a defeated tone. “How many new girls did you pick up this time?”

“One.” I decided against beating around the bush.

Hearing this exchange, Helen couldn’t hold herself back anymore, letting out a bout of melodic laughter. Damn girl, even her laugh was beautiful.

“Ugh…” I heard a weird noise from the other side of the phone line. “Is she beautiful at least?”

I looked at Helen, who raised an eyebrow, waiting for my answer.

“Extremely so,” I said straight, getting myself a pleased smile as a reward.

“On the scale from myself to Bella, where would you put her?” Well, I guess that was a fair scale for someone ‘extremely’ beautiful.

“Looks alone? Beyond Bella.” Bella had more allure, and I was very biased anyway, but strictly speaking, it was the truth.

“Are you serious?” Olivia sounded shocked.

I ended the call and pushed the button for a video call. My girlfriend picked it up instantly.

Olivia’s pretty visage met my eyes, and she smiled brightly. She was sitting on the bed, wearing my t-shirt for some reason. Her hair was a bit in disarray, and, overall, she looked like she just woke up. At least there was no cursed warpaint marring her face.

I smiled back. I was happy to see her, even if not in person. Ugh.

“Show me!” Olivia demanded.

I glanced at Helen, who looked back and nodded. So I angled the phone in a way so that Olivia could see us both.

A few seconds went by as the two girls studied each other.

“Olivia Torres, his girlfriend.” That was an open challenge.

“Helen Smith,” my no-longer-ex-girlfriend(?) replied with an amiable smile.

“Nice to meet you,” I could hear the defeat in Olivia’s tone.

“Likewise.” A polite nod.

“So, what do you think? Was I serious or not?” I decided to join in the conversation.

“Dunno, I think there is a need to do a thorough side-by-side comparison. This one is too dressed for me to judge.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at her mock-thoughtful tone.

“Hey, bestie, are you going to get ready or what?” A voice could be heard from my girlfriend’s side of the line, and then the owner of said voice showed up on screen, wearing only a pair of black thongs.

I gave Patricia's, if I recall correctly, figure a few seconds of my attention and returned my eyes to Olivia. Who obviously noticed my eye movement but chose to ignore it.

“Hey, wear something,” my girlfriend screamed at her friend.

“Why? As if you had never seen me before.” Only for her words to be ignored. “Oh, are you VC'ing that boyfriend of yours? Hey, Michael, did you like what you’ve seen? My offer still stands.”

I felt a pang of a headache.

“Girls, can you talk a bit quieter?” Another voice joined in as a third girl showed up in the camera view. Only to see my face on the screen, go beet red, and lose her consciousness.

I felt another pang of headache, this time even stronger.

Though I must admit, Su Yin, with her hair down and wearing animal print pajamas, looked quite adorable.