"Okay, can we take the bus?" I ask. My feet feel sore. My head is dizzy. By slong is gone.

The Emperor looks back. "No, we aren't going by bus, it's too public. We'll need to find another vehicle."

I think for a moment. "Do you mean a car?"

The Emperor nods.

I search for a car with the number plate "maggot"

I walk around for a few moments looking at cars until I find the one I was looking for. It's a pretty standard car and it is apart from its number plate. I point to the grey vehicle. "That one!"

"Oh, you found it" the Emperor smiles. "Okay, let's get in."

I hop in the driver's seat and begin looking for the ignition."Imma ride this like yo mamma"

The Emperor laughs."Cool, you're a braver man than I."

The Emperor searches the glove box but gives up after a few moments. He makes himself comfortable, lowering his seat and takes off his pork pie hat.

It intrigues me more than ever. "Can I take a bite of your hat?"

"Sure, why not?" The Emperor holds out his pork pie hat and I grab it while laughing.

I bite off a big chunk of the pork pie hat and swallow it quickly. "It tastes like pork pie hat. Who Knew?"

"Well, I'm not hating, it's good."The Emperor pulls out a can of spray paint from his hoodie's pocket.

"I guess we should cover over the car then."

"Throw that away!" I yell.

"Why?"

"It's a symbol of hate," I say.

"But it's also a symbol of freedom."

"Exactly. It should be left alone as a reminder of how far we've come, not destroyed."

The Emperor thinks for a moment.

"I am the Emperor, and I'm the new system, that's why I am also the future!"

I nod in agreement."Some deep shit right there, but best stop sniffing spray paint in the future."

The Emperor doesn't seem too convinced, but he throws the can out of the window nonetheless.

We drive four hours until we see a tittyfarm. I pull over and kill the engine.

I pull out my cell phone and call a cab.

"Hurry up!" the Emperor shouts.

"I'm calling as fast as you can!

Eh hello, cab company? Can you pick us up at the abandoned tittyfarm?"

"Sure, where's that at?"

"You'll find out when you get there."

A few minutes later a cab pulls up to the dilapidated old building.

The emperor jumps in the cab and immediately changes the music station.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

I hop in the back seat and begin fishing through my pockets. "I think I left my wallet in here."

"You also left your balls in your pants, fatass." He yells. Then he starts to whistle to the music.

I return to trying fishing out my wallet.

"I didn't know they had cab companies that listened to music." the Emperor remarks.

"Dude, where I come from they even sing"

"Do they now?"

The cab ride is uneventful.

When the cab pulls up to the Emperor's palace, the Emperor pays the cab driver. The palace is surrounded by high walls with barbed wire and reinforced concrete. The cab stops in front of the gate where men wearing barrettes and big guns stand waiting.

"What now, Emperor?" I ask.

"We get out, and I have some soldiers bring the cab back to the garage."

"Why don't we just steal it?"

"Because people would notice, besides I've already paid for it."

"Good point, and then we go eat?"

"Fine."

I follow the Emperor into his palace, and straight into his throne room. The throne room has several large, brightly illuminated windows that let in light. Two large angels, wings spread wide, stand on either side of the door, holding large spears with crosses at the top.

I draw dicks on them.

The Emperor looks at the two angels.

The angels continue to stare at us.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the Emperor says.

"Two for boredom, and one for each of us, "I say. "Are we ready to eat?"

"Yes," the Emperor says.

The Emperor takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and lifts his face to the angels.

The angels fart and a tray of spaghetti appears in their hands. The angels tip their spears and the spaghetti splats into the large, shallow bowl at the centre of the throne, pasta sauce seeping onto the floor.

"Yummy!"

The Emperor looks at me.

"What?" I ask with a full mouth.

"I'm hungry too."

"Tell me a joke"

The Emperor sighs and begins to tell a joke I don't really find all that funny. After he's finished, he asks me to tell him a joke, but I have none."I don't know any."

"So sad." The Emperor smiles.

The Emperor turns to the angel on his right and begins to tell them a joke. I don't listen to the joke, and in fact, find it quite boring.

"Alright, time to eat!" he says.

I suddenly realise I do have one joke."What did the carrot say to the banana?"

"Nothing. You know, that's not a very funny joke."

"I know, I stole it from the janitor," I said.

The emperor clenches a fist, and a large slice of meat appears in it.

"Sooo good..." he sighs and begins chewing.

I take a bite of my meat, which is also quite good.

"Too bad we lost my dingeling back there,” I casually say.

"What?" the Emperor asks confused.

"Nothing."

"You weren't bothered that we almost lost my shlong, were you?" the Emperor asks.

"I was. But we found yours"

"Really? Good to know." The Emperor eats his meat in silence. Whilst looking me dead in the eye.

I see the Emperor laugh at me. "What's so funny?"

"You are."