“I do know that name.” Kaladin frowned. “Cara mentioned him. Xerath said he was like a father to her. Did she know? Did Erik know?”
Kaladin paused, then tilted his head.
“You gave the dagger to Xerath to give to me. You planned this. All this time.” Kal shook his head. “You watched over Erik when Cara left to be queen.”
“No one knew,” Malik replied with a steady voice. “I lived among them, guiding them. I wished to teach them the error of their ways, to bring about peace. But Mulguran was relentless, always manipulating those who lusted for power. Cara and Erik were exceptional people. Flawed, yes, but they always strove to do what was right. They strove to eradicate evil.”
“Why didn’t you use your power against Mulguran?” Kaladin asked again. “To save them?”
“Because. I was not there to do so. I was there to guide and teach. Nothing else.” Malik frowned for the first time. “It brought me great joy to watch the prince and princess grow. But it brought me far more pain than I could’ve imagined to watch them die. I do not wish to watch anyone die.”
Malik glanced into the sky. “Our time is coming to an end. Out of everyone, you have been chosen, Kaladin Valhorn. A task in which I do not envy. But I will be by your side until the end.”
“Why now?” Kal asked, skeptically. “Why has Hashem allowed you to intervene to help me but not those you clearly care about?”
“I care for everyone,” Malik responded quickly. “As does Hashem. I simply grieve with him. Like I said before, in time... you will understand.”
A thought, a memory flashed into his mind, remembering the moment Felkuru came out of the black and white portal. And it suddenly didn’t add up.
“You lie,” Kal said abruptly. “Felkuru told me you sent him to help me. But that was over three thousand years ago. If you were only allowed to intervene directly in this moment, then how did Felkuru arrive on Isulia. You’re not telling me everything. You’re lying to me.”
Malik simply smiled again. “I have been a part of many things. I have influenced many people for good. Armin among them. Even the great King Xerixes himself, who defeated Galton. As for Felkuru, I did not lie, Kaladin Valhorn.”
He paused, glanced up again then back to Kaladin. “When I sent Felkuru to you that day, that moment has not yet happened.”
“What?” Kal was completely caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
“Depending on your choice, I sent the Felkuru that is on Tepra to you three thousand, one hundred and seven years ago, to the exact moment you were trapped under that rock,” Malik said calmly, never showing frustration. “I do not lie. My creator has given me the authority to use my powers to defeat Mulguran, which you will do with that dagger. If you decide to forfeit your life for your friends.”
“I don’t understand. If the Felkuru over there,” Kal pointed. “is dead, how can there be a Felkuru on Tepra? Is this some… time loop? Am I destined to repeat myself forever? How many times has this happened already? How many times have you ‘given’ me a choice?” Kal spat that last part out like venom.
Malik didn’t smile this time. He looked at him knowingly and with a look of compassion.
“In order to understand, you must be outside of time,” Malik responded softly. “In many ways, this is the first and last time you make a choice. For you, it may seem like a loop. But it is not. It is one continuous path.”
“But I don't really have a choice.” Kal shook his head. “I either die here. Or die somewhere else. That’s not a choice. You’ve taken that choice away from me. At least do me the courtesy and say I have to do it or everyone will die. Don’t lie to me.”
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“I have never lied.” Malik smiled this time. “You chose to believe in Felkuru. You believed that you were chosen, even if you didn’t realize it fully at the time. Everything you have done has been a choice. You chose to come to Isulia. You chose to sacrifice yourself for your friends before. You chose to stay in Xerixes and fight with the humans. And here you are now. Presented with another choice. And you don’t call that choice?”
“You chose to let Mulguran destroy everything.” Kaladin sneered. “You let every evil beast or man destroy this world. They destroyed billions of lives. That’s not a choice. You took the choice away from us.”
“Tell me, Kaladin.” Malik again replied calmly. “Would you rather my father take away your free will?”
The question stumped him. Kal’s initial reaction was to reply quickly but he stopped himself and thought about it.
“Do you understand now?” Malik asked. “You wish for the universe to be without pain or suffering. But in order for that to happen, Hashem must take away your free will. To take away your choice. Would you want Hashem to take away only evil choices? What about lying? Stealing? Murder? What would you describe as evil?”
Again, Kaladin felt himself stall. The idea was dawning on him and he couldn’t give an answer.
“You see, Kaladin Valhorn. Hashem gives you free will without exception. But in order for there to be free will, there must also be evil. For man, beast, or Emarine, evil always follows.” Malik said. “How much evil would you want Hashem to remove? Some, or all? For Hashem to remove evil, He must also remove you. For you all are capable of evil. Even I am.”
“I-I.” Kal stuttered, taken aback by the answer.
“The Thrak chose to trust Mulguran. The humans chose to trust Mulguran. And Mulguran chose to betray me and my father.”
“But that’s… that’s not really an answer.” Kal frowned. “If Hashem is so powerful, why didn’t he just stop Mulguran then?”
“For the very reason, he didn’t stop you from killing the Thrak,” Malik replied. “The Thrak are not inherently evil, yet they chose to trust evil and now they pay the price for it. You slaughter them, yet they only made a choice that bound them to their fate. You suspected this already. Yet you kill them anyway. Some might call that evil. But you, Kaladin Valhorn, can save them. You can save everyone.”
Malik frowned for the first time. He looked to be pondering something far deeper as they continued in their conversation.
“You will understand, in time,” Malik repeated. “I will explain more later. You will have to trust me.”
Kaladin bit his lip, frustrated by his answers and generally upset by the whole situation. He wanted to save everyone. He wanted to undo whatever Malik was talking about but it all felt so unreal.
“I don’t know what all of this means… but if it brings Yvlana and the rest back, then I’ll do anything.” Kal looked at Yvlana again, his heart filled with sorrow. “What do I have to do? Just tell me.”
“This will take you where you need to go.” Malik pointed at the swirling black and white whirlpool of light that he had conjured earlier.
“My death… will save them?” Kal asked, looking down at the portal.
“In a way,” Malik said. “You must choose. Going through there will lead to your death but not in the way you think.”
Kaladin jerked his head up, looking at him with suspicion. “What does that mean?”
Malik smiled faintly at him. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. If you choose to go, all will be revealed to you.”
Kaladin gulped audibly and took one more look at Yvlana. Clenching his jaw and fists in determination, he looked back at Malik one last time before jumping.
“For many years now, I wanted to believe you were real. Everything Felkuru showed me, everything he told me, I didn’t fully believe but I wanted to.” Kal started. “I never believed in Hashem. I only recently started to change. Only recently began to realize that we all had to change if we were to survive. Felkuru always wanted me to forgive. Forgive and move on rather than holding onto my hatred.”
Malik looked at him with unreadable eyes, still waiting patiently. Listening to his every word.
“Why did you pick me?” Kaladin asked. “Who am I that you are mindful of me?”
The Dyaddan tilted his head and blinked his bright white eyes. “You are you. No greater, no lesser than anyone else. Why not you?”
Kaladin frowned at that. He was hoping for a different answer. A clearer answer.
“You already, in a sense, died for those you loved,” Malik said calmly. “Three thousand one hundred and seven years ago. You sacrificed yourself for your friends. I know. Hashem knows you would do it again.”
Kaladin sighed deeply, “You know… for a god-like being you're very cryptic. It’s quite annoying. But… I will do it. I don’t have much choice-” he stopped abruptly and chuckled despite himself. “Well… you know what I mean.”
Malik smiled.
With that, Kaladin jumped off the wall and into the swirling portal.