A sharp pain, followed by a deep dull ache, woke Erik. The slightest movement sent sparks of agony up his shoulder and down to his fingertips. He moved his arms, lifting both in the air.

He gazed back at one arm, the other, missing. Panic gripped his body and it took him a moment to remember the events from before.

Groaning in intense pain, Erik felt a dull but horrendous ache coming from his arm but he knew it wasn’t there. Leaning over, he reached with his right arm and felt the stump. It was difficult to swallow. His left arm was gone.

A flurry of emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Anger boiled, followed by sorrow.

He wanted to cry.

Not from the pain but rather the idea of losing an arm while in his prime and the ramifications it brought for his future.

Gently, he touched the stump again, coming away with bloody fingers and another twinge of pain. Sitting upright, Erik carefully flipped his legs to the ground. His feet touched the cold stone, temporarily taking his mind off the pain.

Glancing around the room, he found no one was present. His sword leaned against his bed and his old bloody clothes were nowhere to be found. He was shirtless and only wore loose shorts, the air was musty and it was dark outside.

A torch at the door and above the desk across from his bed gave him enough light. The dim shadows flickered throughout the room as if imitating his mood.

He looked down at his chest, long gashes from his collar bone down to his stomach looked as if he had been through hell. He couldn’t feel it. The pain from his arm overshadowed any discomfort his chest wounds brought. He felt his cheek. Another long gash.

Gritting his teeth, Erik used his one arm to stand. The movement of his torso was excruciating but he bit back the pain. Wobbling, he stepped forward, looking for a mirror.

He found one. He stood motionless, looking at his disfigured body. Erik didn’t want to imagine what the scars would look like. For now, they were bandaged, covering up what would most likely look horrendous in the future.

He clenched his fist. He wanted to scream.

The door suddenly opened to reveal Amira. The look she gave him told him all he needed to know. Her long brown hair was pulled up and her orange eyes went wide.

“My lord!” she yelped. “Sit down. Please. Erik. You must rest!”

A sense of shame fell over him, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint why he felt that way. Her hands were full, holding a tray with water and fruit but she quickly set it down before approaching him.

“You're going to open your wound again,” she said gently.

She tenderly reached for him, but he jerked away.

Amira recoiled from his sudden movement. “Please. Let me help you, Erik.”

Her touch was warm and soft. And for a moment, that’s all Erik wanted, to be held by this girl he hardly knew.

Instead, he frowned and pulled away from her again. Amira cocked her head looking hurt. “Let me help you,” she repeated.

“I’m fine.” he bit back his anger. “I’m fine,” he repeated, his voice cracking.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” Amira doted. “I need to redress your wounds.”

Again, he pulled away from her. Anger rising in him. He felt helpless, out of control, and above all, useless.

“You don’t have to worry,” Amira said softly. “There’s no need to feel ashamed. I can help you.”

“Leave me alone!” he spat. “Just leave me. I don’t want you here.”

“It’s alright, Erik.” Amira teared up. “I understand.”

“You understand?” Erik turned to her, anger finally boiling over. “What do you know?” he yelled. “I’m supposed to be a king, not a disfigured one-armed cripple. How am I supposed to rule Vulkira like this? You're just a girl. You’re no one. How could you understand?”

Immediately, Erik regretted his words. The look on her face said it all. That had hurt her deeply.

The malice had dripped from every word and he couldn’t take it back now. He was angry, angry at himself, angry at the world, angry that he had lost something precious.

It wasn’t fair.

Pity. He felt sorry for himself and he knew it. He couldn’t control it. He wanted to cry again. To weep.

Amira, seemingly unfazed by his outburst, persisted and reached for him again. “Everything will be alright,” she whispered, though he could hear her voice shaking.

Erik relented, unable to make eye contact with her now. He turned to her, head down, and let her come closer, she brought one arm up around his waist as she ducked under his right arm and shifted his weight onto her. He felt useless now as if he had lost everything. “Will I ever fight again?” He wondered. “What will everyone think of me now?”

People would mock him. The one-armed king. All these thoughts circled in his brain, a never-ending circle of fear and shame. He tried to distract himself.

“When did you get here?” Erik asked softly.

“I was in Xerixes when Xerath heard from Unari. I came with the army and I’ve been treating the wounded when I can. I feared we would be too late.” she frowned. “It’s been two days now. You’ve been asleep since…” she looked at his arm.

She veered him to the bed. “Where is everyone?” Erik asked. “I vaguely remember seeing Rayman. Or was that just my mind playing tricks on me? Is Henry alright?”

“He is. Henry came to see you several times actually,” she said gently, still trying to pull him toward the bed. “Rayman didn’t leave your side until an hour ago. He was a stubborn one. Never wanting to leave you alone. Even Kyburn and King Xerath came to visit you.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Then Rayman is here?” Erik struggled to think straight. “How are the rest of the men?”

“Please, Erik.” Amira strained. “Lie down first.”

Erik let her lead him to the bed, where he sat, which jolted his arm, causing a surge of pain. “Ah!” he groaned.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” tears formed in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Stop! Don’t pity me.” Erik frowned, his pain and annoyance rising. The loss of his arm still made him overly angry and aggressive and he struggled to contain it. Overwhelming negative emotions flooded through him again, making him want to lash out.

“I don’t pity you, Erik.” Amira frowned, trying not to cry. “I am sorry you are in pain. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you. I want to make it all go away. I want you to feel okay. I know you must be feeling awful, that you’ve lost everything but you haven’t. You’re still alive. You have your friends. You have...” she hesitated. “You still have me. And I’m not going anywhere.”

A wave of guilt washed over him and his anger abated. “No. I am sorry for getting angry with you. I-I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m sorry.”

Amira smiled beautifully at him. “It’s alright.”

“I-I just don’t know what to do now,” Erik admitted. “I-I feel so… helpless.”

“I understand. Please believe me, I understand that feeling more than you would ever know.” Amira teared up again. “I’ll help you. Whatever you need. I’ll be by your side.”

“Thank you.” Erik squeezed her hand.

Carefully, Amira helped him lay back down, grunting as he used his elbow to prop himself before falling flat.

“N-not that I’m complaining but… why are you here?” Erik asked. “Shouldn’t you be in Qutreth with Jebbin and Torstein?”

“I asked Rayman if I could come and see you.” Amira blushed. “Though… Jebbin is elsewhere.” she hesitated. “It’s a long story.”

“What happened to Jebbin?” Erik could see the doubt in her face.

“H-He’s been accused.” Amira began. “I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s my place to tell you.”

“What is it?” Erik assured her. “You can tell me. What is Jebbin being accused of? Is he alright?”

“For now.” Amira frowned. “But Jebbin has been accused of treason. Of conspiring against Rayman and Torstein in your absence. It seems he… betrayed you. They locked him in the dungeons in Xerixes.”

“T-that can’t be.” Erik scrunched his brow in confusion. “I mean, I suspected he had his secrets but… nothing like that. What did Rayman do to him?”

“Nothing. Yet.” Amira said. “He’s awaiting trial. Awaiting your judgment.”

“Cara will have a fit about that, I’m sure.” Erik pursed his lips. “I’ll need to examine the evidence myself. It’s a lot to take in.”

“Yes. It is. Rayman was beside himself. He didn’t know what to do.” Amira said. “He was so torn. Jebbin has his faults, but he never seemed like the treasonous type. Though, I must admit I barely know him.”

“That’s the thing about treason.” Erik bit his lip. “You never know who to trust.”

“Your sister looked well.” Amira changed the subject. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Yes. I think you two would get along splendidly.” Erik smiled. “She’s a lot like you.”

“In what way?” Amira blushed.

“Strong, kind, and fair,” Erik stated as a fact. “She always looked after me, you know? When my parents died. She was the one who comforted me. Made me feel okay whenever I’d cry. She is more like a mother really.”

“That’s… sweet,” Amira smirked.

“What? Erik asked, confused.

“It’s just…” Amira began. “You compared me to your sister. Does that mean I too am like a mother?”

“Oh.” Erik shifted uncomfortably. “That’s not what I meant.”

She laughed, a joyous laugh so pure Erik couldn’t help but grin stupidly at her, despite his situation and the throbbing pain. Even with all that had happened, she made him feel as if everything was alright. She made him feel… happy. It was nice to get his mind off of things.

He laughed with her and immediately regretted doing so as pain shot through his left side.

“Here.” Amira grabbed the cup from the tray and quickly brought it to his lips. “Don’t move.”

Her gaze captivated him. Her long wavy hair still in a ponytail bounced back and forth as she gave him the cool liquid.

“Ah. Wine.” Erik smiled. “Thank you.”

The moment he took a long drink, Amira’s face went dark and a shiver ran down his spine.

“What’s wrong?” Erik asked. “Did I say something?”

“No.” she barely whispered. “You did nothing wrong.”

Tears burst from her eyes and streamed down her face. “I’m so sorry, Erik. Please forgive me.”

He looked at the cup in her hand, then back to her. She sobbed and it dawned on him.

The drink.

“What is in the wine, Amira?” he asked, as panic rose inside him.

“I’m so sorry.” she cried. “I had to.”

“What do you mean?” Erik grabbed her wrist tightly with his one good arm.

She winced in pain but didn’t pull away. Awkwardly, he sat up, still holding her tightly. “Tell me.” he frowned. “Tell me what you have done.”

“It's poison.” Amira continued to cry. “If I didn’t he would kill her. I had to.”

“Poi-.” he hesitated. “Who? Kill who? What are you talking about Amira.” Erik’s mind raced. He couldn’t think straight.

“Even now, you want to protect me.” Amira choked out. “You are too good for me. You never should’ve trusted me.”

Erik shook her violently, “Tell me!” he yelled. “Who put you up to this?”

“My master.” Amira closed her eyes, letting him manhandle her. “If I don’t do what he says, he will kill my mother.”

“You-your mother?” Erik frowned in confusion as the panic kept rising. “Guards! Guards come quickly!”

“Forgive me.” she continued to sob. “My master made me. Made me do awful things.”

At that moment, Erik felt it, a gurgling pain in the pit of his stomach and it spread throughout his body. His blood ran cold and his breath became short.

With sheer will, Erik stood, shoving her to the ground, and lept onto her.

She cried out as he closed his fingers around her neck, choking her. Her long wavy brown hair spread across the ground as her hairband snapped.

Gazing down into her orange eyes, his mind screamed in panic. He was going to die and he felt his blood pulsing through his body. It felt like icy fire and he spat up blood. His lungs screamed, desperately trying to obtain air.

Erik gazed at her in horror, his strength fading quickly. Amira bucked and kicked as she stared back at him with her beautiful orange eyes.

“Those orange eyes,” he thought. “Don’t look at me.”

Dread and agony washed over him as if being crushed by a boulder, his chest heaving but no air came in or out of his lungs. His vision blackened for an instant.

Amira’s eyes bulged and she tried to remove his hand from her throat but failed miserably as his grip dug into her flesh. His fingernails buried into her as blood trickled down her neck.

Using his legs for balance, Erik straddled her, keeping his focus on choking the life out of her before he died.

Amira, surprisingly, still cried as she pulled out a dagger in her right hand. He didn’t have time or the limb to block it. Expecting a dagger to sink into his ribs, Erik braced for the pain, but it did not come. Glancing down at the sharp blade, it merely touched his skin. Drawing only a droplet of blood.

Confusion washed over him but he didn’t stop.

“I-I’m sh-woary.” she croaked.

Another convulsion made him spit up more blood, dripping onto her face. In the back of his mind, he felt Felkuru reaching out to him, unsure what was happening.

Ignoring it, he tightened his grip on her throat. Rage and the overwhelming feeling of betrayal filled him to the bone. Blood gushed from his stump of an arm but he shoved harder, the light fading from her orange eyes.

“Those orange eyes,” he thought again. “Don’t look at me.” he wanted to scream at her, but couldn’t.

Every fiber in his being wanted her dead. Fury filled his deep blue eyes. A single thought overtook all others, “Kill her!” he bellowed inwardly, unable to speak aloud. She dropped the dagger. For whatever reason, she hadn’t stabbed him.

Unable to pull his gaze away from the woman that he had loved, Erik loosened his grip on her throat. And in a brief and fleeting moment, Amira’s orange eyes snapped him out of his fit of rage. An instant later, he let her go.

Amira gasped for breath and Erik fell on top of her. He groaned in pain. Erik also gasped for breath but only able to take in tiny quick gulps of air. Gently she pushed him onto his good side and lay next to him.

“Why?” Erik managed to croak out. All the anger was gone, all the pain, it disappeared as he gazed into those beautiful eyes.

Amira sobbed on top of him. “Mulguran would’ve killed my mother.” she tried to explain through bouts of tears. “Please forgive me, Erik.”

The pain in his chest flared up again. It was unbearable and he wanted to scream in agony but only opened his mouth and wheezed. The look of horror and shame on Amira’s face as he breathed his last stuck to his memory as his vision blackened.

He couldn’t see but felt her touch his face, gently caressing his cheek. A moment later, all feeling, emotions and thought, disappeared into nothingness.