“Reports of suspicious activity around the site of the old town of Cildr has, yet again, come to my desk,” Alice says, explaining our coming quest. “Perhaps more importantly, it seems as if the messages I’ve sent along to the guild headquarters have been lost in transit.”

The air around us grows a little colder as our team considers her words.

“Is there a quest, or not?” Theo asks.

“Officially speaking? No, there’s no quest,” Alice says, shaking her head in frustration. “With your team’s involvement with this town, however, it seemed prudent to reach out to you.”

“Theo,” Nadia turns to our team leader.

“I know, you want to go,” he says.

“I have enough coin put away,” Adeleya says. “I can do this for free.”

Lothar nods eagerly.

“Let’s hear all the details before we start running after shadows,” Theo says, turning to Alice. “Do you know who’s trying to bury this?”

“I don’t,” Alice admits. “All I know is that they’re powerful enough to be trouble.

“As you should all well know, ever since the village was taken by bandits a decade ago, it’s been a haven for suspicious activity.”

I cuddle up nearer to Adeleya, and she gives me a sad little smile as she looks down at me hugging me from the side. It’s not the smile that I want to see, distant, and pitying.

“With the bandits gone, it seems there are some people interested in the site once again. Your job is to find out whether any of these people pose a danger to the local villages and secondarily to see if you can find out anything about the town that would draw these sorts of people into our backyard.”

“Is it the æther spot?” Lothar asks, “Æther well or whatever you want to call it, there was that man on our last quest…”

“It may be,” Alice says, “but Cildr is hardly unique in that regard, while they’re not common, they’re not rare. Besides, I’ve never heard of people making this much fuss over a simple æther spot.”

Squeezing Adeleya’s hand, I let the others discuss the various reasons why Cildr might be targeted by bandits.

Over the past month, since our first quest together, I’ve been talking to a bunch of different people and learning the words for all the concepts and feelings that I never really understood before.

Everyone thinks that I act childish for my age, and even Adeleya is looking at me like I’m a kid. That’s how she sees me. Like I’m a kid sister.

I’ve tried to show her how strong I am, that she can rely on me for all sorts of things. A kid can’t fight on the front lines of a battle, a kid can’t lift heavy things or open the stuck jars. She just pats me on the head and smiles warmly.

I’ve seen the human kids get treated the same by their moms and older sisters. I hate that she treats me just like them, but if I say something…

If I say something, will she still hold me?

“Nadia,” Alice says, shaking her head as the elf tries to pry some new secret from her. “Your investigation into Cildr has been exceptionally thorough, and apart from these recent reports, there’s nothing new I can tell you. I’m sure that you’re closer than anyone to the truth behind this tragedy.

“On that matter, if the reeves ever need help with an investigation, you’re the first merc that I’ll be reaching out to.”

“Thank you, but this is something different,” Nadia says shaking her head.

“I suppose it would be,” Alice replies, leaning back in her chair and rubbing at the side of her head.

“I couldn’t hide this from you, but still, I’d really rather that you all keep your heads out of this noose,” Alice says. “If there are nobles involved in this…”

“We’ll be careful,” Theo says, all but accepting the quest.

Adeleya holds my hand tightly.

Ever since hearing of this quest she’s been worrying about me. Cildr might be my old home, but it doesn’t bother me as much as she thinks it does. I have plenty of other things to be worried about, like the future ahead of us, thinking about lost ash will only hurt meaninglessly.

We can’t get back the things that we’ve lost.

“I’m sure you all know how to prepare yourselves for this quest. I don’t need to explain this, but anticipate bandit threats,” Alice says, biting her lip.

“We’ll be prepared,” Theo says.

The last time I killed bandits… it was strange. I know that they deserved it, and it was right to kill them, but I still felt awful afterwards. Killing people isn’t the same as hunting down prey.

“Is this about that strange man we met on the road?” I ask Adeleya as we leave.

I must focus on our mission. A real merc wouldn’t be distracted by their personal lives like me. A real merc is a predator, singularly focused on completing their quest.

“He’s part of it, but it’s not the first time people have come by here with the same interest in Cildr.” She twists her lips in a difficult smile. “Will you be alright?”

“Syr will be fine,” I reply forcing a smile for her. That’s right. I’ll be fine, no matter what happens.

“If there’s anything at all, you can come to me, okay?” She says leaning in close and squeezing me in her grip.

“Anything?”

“Anything, I am your big sis remember.” She smiles much too brightly.

If only that was true…

If only I could tell her about how I feel…

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When I was living in the wilds, I wouldn’t have imagined spending so much time worrying over someone like this. If there’s a problem I would either fight or run away, I wouldn’t drown myself in worry like this; I’d act.

Maybe that’s the answer. If I’m not going to run away, I should stand up and fight. I should come out and challenge her. I’ll tell her that I like her and that I’ll make her mine. I’ll show her my strength, like a big buck or a vicious bear looking for a partner.

That’s got to be the answer.

Nadia interrupts my thoughts with a slightly nervous, and slightly excited outburst of words, quite unlike her.

“When can we leave?” She asks a little too loudly.

“We’re already prepared for a quest,” Theo mumbles. “We have food for the trip, and already know the route there. Does anyone have anything left to do before we leave?”

We take turns shaking our heads, confirming that we’re all ready.

“In that case, there’s no reason to let daylight waste,” he says. “I’ll tell Alice that we’re leaving. Everyone, get your stuff and gather on the first floor.”

As I grab my stuffed backpack, I nod and gather my resolve.

Cildr.

I will challenge her by the time we get to the town of ash. I won’t let her become the same past as I’ve left behind there. I’ll find my future, my family, my home.

“This isn’t a quest,” Alice says, as I approach her and Theo on the first floor. “Officially speaking, I don’t know where you are going to be in these coming months. Perhaps, it would be best if you were all still around town, or on vacation somewhere…”

“You think the guild is involved?” Theo asks.

“No, I know that the guild is compromised,” Alice says. “I’m not going to tell these people that you’re coming.”

“Understood,” Theo says. “We’ll go around town, tell everyone that we decided to go digging for springs in the mountains.”

Alice nods, quietly.

We spend the next few hours visiting acquaintances and telling lies, before finally leaving Snowspring on a return journey toward Cildr.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The road is the same as I remember it, yet different, packed dirt is nicer than the icy mud that I remember from last time. Colourful flowers fill the air with their sweet scent, some seem particularly sweet and ripe. I pluck a few of the edible ones and snack on them as the day lengthens.

The heat of the sun has chased away any lingering hint of winter’s recent past. Sweat drips down into my eyes, as I adjust my heavy pack resting my sword on my shoulder.

Adeleya is walking beside me and heaving even heavier as she swears about the heat, her usual smile long forgotten for the sweat drowning her face. That reminds me…

“Adeleya,” I call her to a stop for a moment, she turns to me with a question in her eyes as I pull out the small square cloth that I’d gotten with my clothes. I carefully pat away the sweat on her face and her pretty smile returns.

“Thank you,” she says, pulling me into a tight hug. “God, you are so cute!”

“Uwah,” I cry out as she lifts me briefly, “Adeleya…?”

“Don’t ever change,” she says, taking my hand as we continue onwards.

“Keep pace,” Theo calls back to us as we lag behind, “We won’t be stopping even for the rains.”

“Rains?”

The skies seem mostly clear right now, but a few dark clouds darken the mountaintops. We can’t yet be sure, but a storm might be forming. I can only hope that it doesn’t.

My hopes are for nothing.

With a grumpy roar, like a great bear woken from its winter sleep, the sky begins to pour. It starts as small droplets, a thin haze I can barely feel on the back of my hand, but as lighting flashes in the raging skies, it quickly develops into a blinding torrent.

“Adeleya?!” I cry out, as I lose sight of her in the rain.

“Here!” She responds, reaching out and gripping tightly to my hand. For the chilling waters running over us and between us, her hand itself is warm.

How long can we still have a relationship like this?

I grip her tighter and march forward, through the cold rains. My heart pounds heavy in my chest, spreading thick useless energy that just burns painfully inside.

I open my mouth to yell my feelings into the raging winds, but I fall silent, my throat shut tight.

I blink away the rain and stare at Theo’s dark shape ahead of us. His silhouette the guiding path through this storm. Nadia walks beside him, the bottom of her cloak flapping in the winds.

Ahead lies my future and this storm won’t get in my way. I’ll brave whatever monsters get between us.

“Syr won’t lose…” I whisper to the wind, gripping her hand tighter still.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Night falls and the rains haven’t stopped, we rest on a small rise under the thick tarps that we’ve strung up best as we can. I stand watch outside, though I can hardly tell the purpose when the storm leaves me deaf and blind.

I gaze into the shifting delusions shaped by the rains.

Even the strongest of predators are quieted when the skies decide to roar. They head home and bow their heads in the face of a beast far stronger.

Nothing will attack us tonight.

The time comes for our change of watch and Theo comes out to trade with me. I squeeze inside the tent and cuddle close to Adeleya and Nadia, their warmth chasing away the cold that the rains pressed into me.

I listen close to Adeleya’s breathing and try to ignore Nadia’s snores. Half asleep, she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close. I relax in her embrace, falling into happy dreams.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“We haven’t seen anything,” Evelyn says, pale as snow and shivering in the warmth of midday. “Adom… he… no one heard a thing…”

“What happened?” Theo asks, resting a hand on her shoulder and steadying her.

She rubs the tears from her eyes.

“Start at the beginning,” Theo says. “Someone passed through Snowspring and told us that you had issues with strangers in town?”

“Yeah, that,” she nods slowly recovering her focus, “Our hunters came across dead monsters out in the wild. The massive sort of creatures that we’d normally leave for mercs to deal with unless they were tearing down our gates.”

“Other mercs?” Theo asks, but Evelyn shakes her head.

“Mercenaries would walk the roads, they’d come to say hi, they’d show their faces,” she stares up at the sun sinking on the horizon. “Besides, these monsters were slain with blades. Only blades. No arrows, and no magic. It’s… strange.”

“Okay, I can see how that’s… unusual,” Lothar says, staring around the town and focusing on the black foundations of a burnt-down house, it’s still warm from the fire.

It wasn’t like that a few months ago.

“Something else happened?” Theo asks.

“It…” she swallows hard before continuing. “It was Adom, someone murdered him. They tore him apart, Theo. They made some sick, cursed thing from his parts, and when… when he didn’t show up for guard duty, Lue went to check on him. Lue… he just… he died. Just from looking at it… at what was left of Adom…”

“What in the hells…?” Adeleya whispers, and I grip her hand tighter and check the shadows around us.

“We burnt the house down. We didn’t have a choice,” Evelyn says, shaking her head.

Theo grumbles to himself, his eyes peering into the distance as he thinks. His foot pounds out a rhythm in the dirt.

“Is there anything else? Anything at all?” Lothar asks, suddenly on edge. “Someone had to have heard something.”

“No, there wasn’t a sound all night. Even the insects were quiet,” Evelyn whispers, shivering again. Tears streaming down her cheeks. “I don’t know… what do we do? Should we run?”

“Theo?” Adeleya asks, looking between me and the town. “I’m not sure… this isn’t something we’re prepared for.”

“It might be too late already,” Theo says, looking toward the distant sunset. “Evelyn, gather all the wood in the town. We need fire, and as much light as we can get. Adeleya save your magic until it’s needed, we don’t want to show our hand.”

“You know what it is?” Lothar asks.

“I’ve heard whispers, rumours,” Theo says. “Things that we’re not supposed to know.

“Pray to all the gods that I’m wrong.”

As the day passes into night, the rains come back again, and the fires that fill the town sputter and die, their fury nothing compared to that of the storm.

The entire town is gathered together in the largest two buildings trying to get some sleep while candles keep the room bright. We abandoned the walls and the rest of the town in fear of what stalks the night.

I huddle up close to Adeleya trying to get some sleep while the others are on watch. Sandy perches on the roof, but she can’t see much through the blinding rains.

“Adeleya,” I whisper her name as we huddle by the door.

I could never quite find the right moment; it keeps slipping me by. Whenever I find the courage to say the words burning up my heart, someone else steps in and interrupts.

Or the roaring rains steal my words.

Or my throat closes up all on its own.

I know why.

It’s because I’m afraid.

Afraid of how she might react.

Afraid that I might lose her.

In the dead of the night, I hold her tight, my lips shaping the words that I want to say even though I can’t make a sound.

“Bandits!” Lothar shouts, “We’re under attack!”