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Personal Choice

Personal Choice

“You’re still fucking here? Was my ‘get fucking lost’ not clear enough for you?”

“The proper authorities have a right to know if he harmed her. I’m sure she’d answer some questions if they came from me.”

“Fuck off, Linda. For one, her jaw has been wired shut. And two you’re a fucking religious nut who put her best friend in jail. I know she won’t talk to you.”

“Just move. What happened to the sweet boy your mother raised?”

“I smothered him. Now leave before I do the same to you.”

“And here I thought only Aaron wanted to smother his parents. Yikes.”

“Fuck you. Are you sober?”

“What? You gonna pull a Breathalyzer out of your pants?”

“I might be gay, but I’m not gay for you. Explore that with someone else.”

“Right… didn’t intend it that way. Is she leaving?”

“Goodbye, Linda! For fucks sake! Go be a bitch somewhere else!”

A groan from the bed grabs the trio’s attention. Eijinn and Bryant immediately going to stand beside it. It takes some time, but eventually, Marie manages to open her eyes. Both men sigh, but the moment is short lived. Linda’s standing at the foot of the bed, a sickly sweet smile on her face. Lifting a single brow, she looks between Bryant and Eijinn for an answer.

“Aaron’s egg donor.”

“You really don’t know how to just leave when told. Let me make myself as clear as possible. I will leave you a fucking vegetable in this hospital if you don’t get gone. And fast.”

“I’m here to talk to her. Not you. Bad enough Aaron’s sin has rubbed off on you.”

“Get out or so help me I’ll have you dragged out.”

“I’m not talking to you either. Marie, right?”

“Don’t answer her.”

Against Bryant’s advice, Marie nods her head. She’s still very, very confused. And she’s afraid of what this woman wants from her.

“I’m Aaron’s mother.”

“Egg donor. Don’t confuse yourself.”

“As I was saying. I am Aaron’s mother. I was hoping I could hear directly from you what that little devil did to you for you to end up here. And-“

Marie’s heart picks up, she’s struggling to reach for something. Surprising Eijinn and Bryant when, despite all her pain, she chucks her pillow at the older woman. Her face is a cross between angry and panic. The kind where your heart may never really settle. A nurse rushes in in time to stop the young girl from tearing her IV out.

“I told you that’s her best friend!”

“And you’ve made her angry.”

“No! Aaron!”

“Be careful! Linda fuck off! Seriously!”

Marie’s heart is wired, the spikes on the monitor going higher and higher. Eijinn’s doing what he can to talk her down from a panic attack. Bryant on the other hand is still glaring Linda down. Two very different emotions seizing control over his heart. The sound of Marie crying in pain from her jaw of no help. It’s killing him inside, but he knows that if he diverts his attention from this woman she will never leave. And given the situation, he needs Marie as calm as possible. His job would have been easier if Aaron were here, except, there are petty parents in the world. Ones who refuse to accept that they may be the ones to have turned their children into the monsters they’ve become. Shame they don’t realize they’re monsters themselves.

“Lady get fucking lost! We have enough shit to deal with!”

Eijinn’s outburst startles Bryant and Aaron’s mom. Her expression is enough to force the former to choke back a laugh. That and the way Eijinn looks at him. The way people look at those who kill animals for fun, or literal infants. It’s rare to see him in such a state. And right now he’s sober enough to attempt to be polite, but he doesn’t care. That is a deadly combination on its own.

“Just who do you think you’re talking to?! Show some respect!”

“I’m not talking to the nurse or Bryant. And Marie sure as shit can’t go anywhere. So you do the math. You’ve been here every fucking day. None of us, her included, has anything bad to say about him. Let alone incriminating! He was a kid you allowed to be abused by his peers and loved ones. It may have slipped your fucking notice, but he has a heart. Can’t say the same for you.”

Linda’s nearly charcoal eyes widen. Reminiscent to a pop-eyed goldfish. Her mouth reminding Bryant of a catfish at feeding time. Seeing her put in her place by someone who doesn’t know the situation gives him a joy he’s not felt for a very long time. That and he knows she won’t start an argument with him without her husband present. Along with the fact she can’t humiliate Aaron. Finally closing her mouth, she storms out. The nurse also leaves. Albeit as quietly as possible. And with as minimal awkwardness as she can muster. Bryant feels bad for the poor woman just doing her job.

“Is Marie okay?”

Eijinn almost doesn’t register that Bryant is talking to him. Especially since the question is barely audible. He’s even confused as to why the other is behaving oddly. Until he recalls the scene that just played out.

“I’d be able to answer you if you spoke a little louder and not like you’re a child who just got yelled at.”

“I asked if Marie is okay?”

“I fucking hope so. She had to be sedated again.”

“So long as she keeps having these fits there’s nothing that can be done about it.”

“Since I can’t ask Aaron about it, I intend to ask you. And yeah, it’s none of my business, but…”

“You’re going to ask anyway.”

“Yeah, so what’s the issue with him?”

“Aaron-"

“No, Marie’s brother. And the tramp that follows him around.”

“Marie’s brother?”

“So, what I’m hearing is Aaron didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“That he and Eijinn were involved in a fight at the high school the day they brought her home early.”

“Is that who it was?”

“Yeah. He showed up when I dropped her off and she practically took flight.

“Did you ask her?”

“I would if she were ever calm enough to ask.”

“Then I can’t say anything.”

“I’m going to have to disagree. She’s been in our house. The rest of us have a right to that information.”

“No, we don’t. No one invades your privacy. We shouldn’t do it to her.”

“SHE’S A FUCKING MINOR IN OUR HOME! AND IF I HAVE TO PRY IT OUT OF HER I WILL!”

Eijinn’s eyes darken. Raw mineral straight from the mine. He and Mitchell rarely clash on anything. However, the usually more mature of the pair is at his wit send. Feeling he’s losing control of the group he’s supposed to be taking care of. Bryant the only thing separating them from each other.

“Looks like we’re just in time to see Mitchell die. Good thing we’re in a hospital.”

“Shut the fuck up, Alex. I’m not in the fucking mood. I’m literally losing my fucking mind. We can’t keep doing this shit. Either she fucking talks or she’s on her own.”

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“Huh?”

“Fucking. Try. It.”

“If Aaron doesn’t kill you, I promise you I fucking will. Of all the fucked up things to do to a person. Let’s just start sharing your private information. See how you feel being exposed. Against your will no less.”

“You’re being irrational!”

“Dredging up someone’s trauma against their will is wrong. And given the current situation, it’s not something anyone should try.”

“As someone with a pretty bad childhood, I promise it won’t turn out the way you think. It’s the same as forcibly admitting her.”

Mitchell’s not used to them ganging up on him. Or rather, siding against him. Right now, he’s had enough of every one of them. As far as he’s concerned, he’s a right to know why this girl is the way she is. Even if it means waiting for none of them to be around. There’s no way in hell he’s keeping her around without knowing why she is the way she is. And if she won’t talk then to hell with her. She’ll have to find somewhere else to fucking be. And since that means they won’t let him admit her, it’ll be back on the streets where they fucking found her.

“Have it your fucking way then, but if she doesn’t talk don’t fucking bring her home. Otherwise, I’ll change the fucking locks and none of you will have a key.”

Open mouths and angry glares as he shoves past Aaron, just released on bail, and Alex. There’s a dead silence that fills the room. The kind that eats away at heart and mind. Leaving violent raging thoughts. A war with ones-self. Blood thirsty with no intention of acting on it. Deafening and demanding attention. And if things weren’t bad enough, Marie’s heart monitor flat lines.

“Just what did you think would happen? You didn’t think our grandparents would take you, did you? You killed mom and dad. Why the fuck would they want to care for you?! You did this to us! The fucking moment you were born!”

The little girl begins to sob. She’d only wanted to spend her birthday with everyone at home for once. Especially, since her big brother has been away at college. She didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Just this once she wanted to do something with her brother, grandparents and parents. Mostly her brother.. She’d even gone out of her way to get him a present. It took a lot of begging her parents to get it. However, with him this angry, she sees no point in getting it out to give to him. It’ll only make him angrier.

“It burns!”

Her pleas for the pair to stop what they’re doing to her go ignored.. Lisa’s one hand holding her child-sized wrists in place while the other holds a camera in her face. Her little legs of no use against her older sibling. She’s not sure what he’s trying to do, just that it feels like she’s being torn in half. Suddenly the pain stops and the room is black.

They’re not allowed in the room. However, they can hear the panic and urgency to restart Marie’s heart. It’s the only thing they can focus on. No one’s able to say what caused it. There’s anxiety all through the hall. Daring anyone to let their guard down for even a moment. This kind of fear is new to Alex. Slender fingers gripping tightly to his phone. Part of him wants to call his mom for support, but he’s certain of what will happen if she decides to come up here. For Aaron it’s the same as losing his brothers. A single leg rattling the rest of the seats. Eijinn’s head is thrown back against the wall. Telling himself that if he doesn’t look, it’ll all be okay. Jason’s burying his head in his hands. A multitude of what-if’s running rampant in his head. As for Bryant, he’s not quite himself. Having moved a bit further down the hall to make a phone call.

‘I really wish I could be there. I hate hearing you so upset. And they still haven’t said anything?’

“N-no, they haven’t even been able to restart her heart.”

‘Jesus… you know what. Fuck it. As soon as Rylin gets home, we’re coming up there.’

“What if she doesn’t make it? What if-”

‘No, she’ll make it. I know we don’t talk much, but you’re my baby brother. You’ve got a heart of gold. I don’t want you to think for one second that none of it was worth it. At the end of the day, you showed her a kind of love no one else did. Both you and Aaron. I’m sure she knows that and the two of you know it as well.’

“But-”

‘No buts. Tons of other strangers had an opportunity to help her and didn’t. She’s taken off more than once, and every time came back to the one place she’s felt safest. Even with your one friend being an asshole to her. That at least should tell you something.’

“That doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”

‘Maybe not to you, but to her. Just trust me on this. Rylin just got in. So, I’m going to go change and pick you and Aaron up your favorites on the way. Hang in there.’

“I’ll try. See you soon.”

‘Bry, I love you.’

“I love you too, Paisley.”

The line dies, but not Bryant’s anxiety. Dark blues darting to the door to Marie’s room. Has she really given up on life? As the thought fades away, the doctor and nurses come out. All painfully weary. The five males are suddenly alert. Searching for any visible sign that something is amiss.

“She’s stable for now, but we’ll be monitoring her closely.”

“What caused it?”

“We can’t say at the moment. Some more blood work will be done as a pre-”

The sound is almost too painful to hear. Turning heads and creating distress. A mix of sobbing and the sound of someone being murdered. Heartbreak so raw and pure it vibrates through the bloodstream and dances in the heart. The sight in the room breaks Bryant’s heart. Dying light in already melted caramel eyes. A face soaked in tears and snot. There’s a hurt inside of her that he wishes he could take away. They all do. He’s not certain if she can see them through the tears. Bandaged arms reaching out in an almost childlike fashion. Bryant’s the only one willing to approach her. Taking her tiny hands in his own.

“Hey, you’re okay. Everything’s okay. We’re right here. Even Alex.”

It’s the way her breath rolls to a stop and picks up. How her eyes don’t really focus on anything, but rather scramble to pick them out. The way tiny limbs struggle to stay still. Behaving more like they’ve been trapped in a freezer. And although the room is rather warm, she herself is freezing. Cold as ice. All he can do right now is hold her and comfort her. Hope that it’s enough to calm her down. Because if not, there’s nothing else her can do. Nothing any of them can do if this fails. He’s just happy Mitchell isn’t here. There’d be no coming back from that.

“What do we do?”

“Give her some well-deserved space, Andrews. Boys. Hi Bryant.”

“Paisley. Did you bring me anything?”

“Hi Paisley. Where’s- oh. Hi Rylin.”

“Why would I bring you anything, Aaron. Enlighten me.”

Paisley hugs him and the others before approaching Bryant. Leaving dainty Rylin to fend for herself with Aaron and Eijinn. Though, the duo don’t seem much up for jokes. Marie’s eyes dart violently between the two women. Instead of coming closer, Paisley turns her attention to the doctor. Firing off a series of questions none of them thought to ask. At the same time, she’s gauging Marie’s reaction to the two of them. Watching as the younger girl attempts to shrink back into herself. Might be a lot worse than they even know. When she and the doctor finish speaking, she ushers the boys out. Aaron and Bryant are the last out of the room before Paisley shuts the door and sits in a chair a good distance from Marie.

“Marie, right? I’m Paisley. Bryant’s older sister. And this is Rylin. My life partner.”

Marie looks ready to jump from the window. Frantic eyes glimpsing between the two women and the door. Without saying anything Rylin opens it slightly. Shooing the boys away in the process. A request they respectfully agree to.

“I heard from Bryant how you tried to jump. The world’s a scary place and no one can fault you for that. I was like that once. Threw myself into oncoming traffic. Our parents aren’t very accepting of being different. When I came out to them, they gave me an ultimatum. I get help for my ‘illness’ or I never see or speak to anyone in the family again. Bryant wasn’t even old enough to remember it. So, it’s almost like he never had a sister. I hated the idea of leaving him. To not watch him grow up.”

It’s taking some time, but Paisley can tell she’s paying attention. Hanging tight to every word.

“I can’t say my situation is anything like yours. Just that I can resonate with your need to want to die. To not only free yourself, but the world of a wasted existence. I don’t know what’s made you this way. Or even who. I do know that they want you to suffer. They want you to feel bad for whatever reason. Hurting yourself, jumping to your death. It’s amusing to people who are cruel. Had you succeeded they weren’t going to feel bad. Not one little bit.”

Quiet. Simple and mellow. No agony. No perpetual fear. Just calm. Considering how dark what Paisley just said is, it’s a welcome relief. A nurse sticks his head in. Asking permission to enter before walking over to Marie. Gentle hands inspecting the damage done to the wiring that had kept her jaw in place. Meanwhile, Paisley observes the way the young woman interacts with said nurse. The twitch in her eye. Her grip on the bedding. The subtle shift in her demeanor.

“How much longer will the wiring be in?”

“Not sure. It really depends on how long it takes for her to heal.”

“Does she have to stay here? Or would it be possible to take her home?”

“Because she had an incident today the doctor wants to keep her here for a few more days. She’s aware that Marie is wanted at home, but given her physical and mental state she’s asking that Marie be admitted.”

“What if that’s not something she wants?”

“If you’re asking if she’ll be forcibly admitted, then yes. That’s a possibility. She’s a minor and her condition isn’t great.”

“I’m not a doctor or a nurse, but I don’t think forcing her to participate in psychiatric care is of any benefit to her. I can tell by looking at her that she’s a flight risk. Her instincts naturally direct her away from whatever is the main source of distress.”

“It’s not up to me ma’am. I can only relay the information I have from the doctor.”

“Right… thank you.”

When Paisley and Marie’s eyes meet again, Paisley offers a small smile. One that slightly darkens the blue of her eyes. And doesn’t match the vibrancy of her hair. Bright neon pink and pastel purple pulled into a ponytail. Rylin, to Marie, is the opposite of Paisley. Neutral colors and extremely quiet. Why are they here? It’s not like they can help me.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it. And I have no intention of forcing you. I would however, like to make you an offer. You heard it yourself. The hospital wants to admit you into a Psych Ward. Either willingly or by force. To me that’s bullshit. You shouldn’t be forced into anything. Instead of a psych ward or whatever else they might try, I’d like to work with you. You don’t have to think of it as therapy. I can promise I won’t force you to talk about anything. Everything will be on your terms. And the boys don’t have to know shit about what you decide to tell me.”

“It’s a better offer than what the hospital wants. Given that Aaron and Bryant have been so secretive where it concerns you, I’m assuming that putting you in a psych ward would put you in harms way.”

Paisley’s jaw drops when Marie nods. She hadn’t expected her to respond in anyway. Her heart leaps with a bit of joy. She knows first hand how hard it can be to trust people. Especially, when people are how you become broken. It’s a start though and that’s all that matters. Being Bryant’s sister might have helped. Even so this girl trusts me. Trusts us. All I have to do is maintain that and show her, there are some things in life worth living for.

“As Paisley said, it’s not our place to pry. No one’s really. And I hope that, should you choose to, come to trust us the way you do Bryant and Aaron. They may not say it, but they love you very much. I know it seems like a lot, but this should be a decision you make. You don’t have to decide right now. Think it over. It’s a big choice to make. I know. It’s just… the idea of you being forced, or even coerced, in to doing something doesn’t sit well with me. You’re still a person. No matter your physical, emotional, or mental disposition.”

“What Rylin’s getting at, is that you should have more freedom to decide your own fate.”