She tugs again at the restraints. A tad more gently than she had been before. They haven’t noticed she’s awake yet. Her eyes refuse to focus on anything as panic melts into her bones. Soon enough, she’s screaming, or at least attempting to; through a tightly clamped jaw, and violently yanking. Freedom! I can’t do this again! Please! Let me go! Her mind screams for release. Heart screeching through the heart monitor. All six boys are startled awake. Four of which are trying to calm her down. All of them talking at once. The heart monitor only continues to wail desperately. Their voices carrying over the sound.
“SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Silence, excluding the heart monitor, Marie’s frantic cries of desperation, and the three nurses who clear their throat as they enter. All eyes are on the quietest member of the six of them. He’s been different over the last four days. Quieter than he normally is, if that’s even possible. The sudden outburst astonishes them. No one has anything to say. Not even a joke. All they can do is stare in silence, until he points for them to leave. There’s some hesitation before any of them move towards the door, curious glances cast back in his direction. Once they’re gone and the nurses have done what they need to, he grabs one of the chairs and moves it closer to the bed. Ever so lightly he takes her hand, holding it with firm urgency. While her head rests easily into the bed, her eyes dart around the room. The shaking even remains and he wonders what terrors fill her mind. What tragedy is she reliving to be so by this environment? Who could cause so much damage that she’s willing to take her own life?
“Marie..”
She flinches, but says nothing. Not that she can to begin with. Her jaw is set in place. Her mind is elsewhere at the moment too. Matted hair, wild eyes , shallow breaths, and frantic sweating. All of these things are evident and yet it doesn’t tell him what caused her such pain. And it doesn’t deter him from what he’s about to do. A hand runs across his tired face as he begins to speak. So low, that for a moment she does not notice he’s speaking to her. It doesn’t help that the medication they injected in her is trying to take its hold.
“Did I ever tell you about my parents? What they were like. My mom, she’s a sweetheart. Makes cookies and all the extra crap that you see TV moms do. My dad he used to work at a big pharmaceutical company and had a few other odd jobs that didn’t pay really well. Not for the lifestyle they wanted. Dad’s a gambler and an alcoholic. Mom, she’s losing her mind. There’s not enough money to pay bills or put food on the table with her beloved throwing it down the drain as fast as he makes it. Yet somehow, they managed to always get me something little for either my birthday or Christmas. I was never a picky kid when it came to stuff like that. I was happy as long as they were around. I mean I grew up in an area that felt more like an abandoned or rundown city. They were doing the best they could with what little they had.”
“Around the time I turned six I started to notice little things. Things I hadn’t noticed them doing before. Like how I wasn’t given medicine or taken to the doctor when I got sick. In fact they smiled more when I got sick. When a terminal illness was spreading I’d hear them wishing that I would catch it. It wasn’t until I turned seven that I understood why. Henry Lowell Burrell Sr. and his wife had a secret. One I knew nothing of until I stumbled upon them in the night.
Marie’s fingers twitch just a bit and her eyes finally focus on him depite it being hard to keep them open. Her breathing is still a tad uneven, panic still unsettled in her chest. Jason can’t tell if it’s her demons trying to get her or waht he’s telling her that’s created such a reaction. He continues though, afraid that if he stops now he’ll never get it out.
“They sent me to bed early one night. A friend of theirs had come to visit and as fawr ass they were concerned I was in the way. As far as I could tell he was a nice person. Anyway, being the obedient child that I was, I did as told. No sense arguing with my parents, right? Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep. Not for long anyway. And every time I tried to fall back asleep, I’d simply toss and turn. Until eventually I got out of bed and went to see if my mom could help. She always knew the right remedies for anything I seemed to be having trouble with. I unexpectedly walked in on a conversation I shouldn’t have heard. And it didn’t register until I was shooed back to bed by my father. It’s not something any child should ever hear.”
“At some point there were two of us. Me and a twin. An identical twin. I just happen to be the youngest of the two. They couldn’t afford to raise two kids and it just so happens I was the one always sick. They’d made the decision to get rid of one of us. More specifically me. My brother was healthy and despite being a baby was the perfect child. So they grabbed one of us and left us behind somewhere. I’m not sure where, they never told me and I’m not going to ask them. The kid they grabbed and left was him. He happened to be sick when they went to abandon me. It’s a wonder they ever knew I was always the sick one, since they couldn’t tell us apart for this. Their friend, who just so happened to be in the medical field is the only person able to tell us apart apparently. He’d known from the first time he saw me which twin I was and figured my parents knew what they’d done. Until that night when they asked him about it. Both of them were angry. My mother more so than my father. I’ve never once heard her cuss or yell the way she did then. Six or seven years later they finally realize they had indeed made a mistake. I attended school while sick. And I was always sick at this point. Sometime couldn’t keep food down. It took the school nurse calling for them to take me to the doctor and oddly enough he knew too. He knew I wasn’t Henry Leo Burrell Jr., but rather the younger twin. Jason. They’d only ever called me by that name when I was sick. I mean at some point I should have put two and two together. The name Henry always felt wrong to me. Like it didn’t fit who I was”
He’s quiet again. And she observes him the way she would anyone who dumped their whole life story on her. Not with disgust, but a sense of wonder for the person he is and had to become from such a situation. There’s more to it. Like the way there are bags under his eyes. How those very same eyes hold no life. No smile lines to show for his youth. Just a dark cloud of anguish, guilt, and solemn anger that hangs over him. Of the six of them he’s one of the three she never expected to hear things like this from. Not when he generally pays no mind to the world around him. She can’t fathom what it must’ve been like to live with these people after such a revelation. He shifts and her eyes follow the movement. In is hand is a wallet which he opens up annd pulls out a folded up picture. When he unfolds it, it’s a simple black and white photo, but she can’t make sense of what she’s seeing.
“It’s an ultrasound from before we were born. No one would have ever been able to tell the difference if not for my poor health. If I’d remained healthy, they wouldn’t have discovered they gave up the wrong twin.”
She’s tired and wants to say something, but knows she can’t.
“They were poor. I get it. It’s the stupidest decision ever made. To leave one of us for dead. They wanted a kid, got two, and couldn’t affords to care for either of us.”
It’s not her place to judge, but something in her hates the idea that someone would have given up on such a tiny life. Maybe because her parents did everything they could to raise her and her brother with what little they had. Then again, that didn’t stop her brother from becoming the monster he is today. It makes her wonder if parental raising has anything to do with the way a child turns out in life. That maybe all the positive and negative reinforcement isn’t all it’s cut out to be. Maybe it causes more problems than anyone can ever truly imagine. There are no words to speak of the evils in this world. Before her eyes finally slide closed she manages to very gently lift her hand and pat his head where it rests on the side of the bed. As of right now it’s the only thing she can think to do.
Are you attempting to comfort him? You can’t even do that for yourself. Shouldn’t you be ashamed to have made him talk about something so traumatic? All you had to do was jump. Can’t even kill yourself properly. Just look at you. Hurting people who have done nothing wrong to you. He should’ve let you die. How is it someone weak like you can bring the strong to their knees? Next time you try to kill yourself, do it right. Actually die.
A wailing monitor startles him. Head raised, eyes wide at the girl lying in the bed. Nails carve into delicate flesh. Red paints the white sheets, terror resonates around the room. Death himself would be terrified to see her: pale, shaking, hair wild, eyes desperate, heart dancing on needles, and breathing erratic. Several nurses, a doctor, and his friends rush in at once. A mixture of panic and concern. Immediately the six of them are ushered out into the hall, so the professionals can do their job.
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Broken light dances in Jason’s eyes. Held firmly in place by another as the monitor’s wailing heightens. Helpless and worried. It’s a deadly combination for any of them. Inducing more than fear. More of a venomous rage that no person can control. It spreads like a poison for only a moment before a calm silence ensues from the opposite side of the door. Stones fill an empty stomach, pebbles clog up his throat, and for a bit he’s friends with a shadow that takes everything it touches and tosses it away. One of the younger nurses exits first. She wears a weary and relieved smile, approaching them on anxious legs. The woman looks at Aaron first. However, he’s not in the mood to deal with accusations from anyone.
“Is my little sister okay?”
“At the moment yes. Her injuries aren’t that extensive. The new ones aren’t anyway. The doctor feels it’s in her best interest to be admitted into psychiatric care. Once her jaw is healed enough to allow her to speak some.”
“That’s not something we really want to risk doing. Bad enough we were interrogated when she came in.”
“I understand, however, given her condition it’s highly recommended that she receive this treatment.”
Aaron’s not sure the nurse is getting the hint that placing Marie under someone else’s care is going to have the same effect as her being here. That by admitting her against her will is the same as letting her actual brother keep her prisoner.
“We appreciate the concern, but I don’t want her to feel like she’s being imprisoned anywhere. It’s why I requested she not be restrained in the first place and no one listened.”
“She’s a risk to herself. The restraints prevent her fro doing any further harm. This is also why the doctor wants to have her admitted.”
“You’re a nurse. You can’t possiibly tell me that you imprisoning her somewhere else is beneficial to her. You saw her wrists. What kind of person would recommend institutionalizing her? You can’t be serious.”
“Alex, relax she’s just doing her job.”
“He’s not wrong, Mitchie. She already feels captive here why move her to another location to be held against her will?”
“Because she needs the help. We can’t keep doing nothing. Plus she’s safe here.”
Both Alex and Aaron look at Mitchel as though he’s lost his mind. Sure, Marie’s outbursts are a bit much to handle. However, just letting her get locked away against her will is probably the most absurd thing that’s come out of his moouth. Even, Jason is giving him an angry glare. Mitchell is usually the more understanding one. Lately though, he’s just been agitated whenever Marie is mentioned. Almost as if he no longer likes her presence. Except he’s technically the reason she ended up staying with them in the first place . He’s the one who hit her with the van and instead of bringing her to the hospital then he brought her home.
“Maybe you’re an idiot and want to abandon her, but I’m positive there are four of us who literally go and get her if you so much as skip by a mental facility with her in tow.”
“Make that five of us. And I have my reasons.”
Mitchell and the nurse look exasperated. Only one walks away. The other flops into a seat. It’s hard enough to make sure the five of them stay out of trouble. I’m not about to babysit her too. She’s a lot more trouble than she’s worth.
“Do what you want. I’m going for a walk.”
They don’t try to stop him. He’s the most responsible one after all. Besides there’s not really anything he’d get up to to end up in trouble. Right now, they just need to figure out what they’re going to do with Marie. They’re not always going to be able to sit with her like this. And yet leaving her with her demons isn’t going to help.
“Well, now that we’ve pissed Mitchie off what are we doing about her?”
“I though that was obvious. Wait until she can speak for herself. Unless she takes off again. In which case, it’ll be out of our hands.”
Despite knowing Alex is right, none of them like the answer. It takes them a bit to realize they haven’t seen the doctor leave the room. Aaron and Jason are the first to rush in. Eijinn, Alex, and Bryant take their time. Not tto find the former two arguing with the woman.
“What’s the issue now.”
“The same as before. The fucking restraints!”
“You can’t tell me there’s no other way to do this without making her feel like a prisoner. Anything other than strapping her down like that.”
“Considering her injuries and the condition in which she was brought in this is the best option for her.”
“This is a joke. You’re telling me, you looked at her wrist injuries and went ‘Yeah, lets just strap her to the bed like this’. Because if that’s what you happened you can’t really be a doctor. Someone should take your license from you.”
“Thank you, Alex, for your vast knowledge of medicine and treatment of the mentally ill.”
“In Alex’s defense he’s got a point. Her wrists were all dug into when she came in and they put restraints on her. If you weren’t paying attention earlier, Bryant, let me remind you thatt’s why she freaked out when she woke up.”
“Restraints aside, do any of you know how she got her injuries? Most if not all look to be made by someone clearly older than her.”
“Alex, take Eijinn and Jason to find Mitchell please.”
“Why do all three of us have to go?”
“Because you need to learn when to take a hint. Move it dumb dumb. C’mon Jason.”
Bryant and Aaron wait a good five minutes, just in case Eijinn thinks he’s smarter than Alex and comes back. The look on the Doctor’s face goes from simple concern to extreme worry. After all she hasn’t finished reporting her findings to the authorities.
“She’s not really my sister. We came across her by accident one night. Out of the six of us we’re the only two who know what’s really going on to some extent. And she’s not exactly keen on telling anyone the details of her situation.”
The room settles into an empty silence. Aaron isn’t good at explaining things and Bryant doesn’t want to talk about it let alone remember it. That and the latter swore he’d tell no one. On top of it she doesn’t want anyone who so much as comes across as an authoritative figure to know.
“From what little she told us, someone in her family is abusing her. She won’t say how or who it is. Just that she deserves it for some reason.”
“And neither of you informed police?”
“She really doesn’t talk about it. Doesn’t want anyone to know. We can’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to. And even if we did, we have no idea where to send them. We got lucky to find her a few nights ago.”
The doctor looks at the pair wearily. While they’re correct to some extent, she herself cannot ignore the obvious abuse and as such has to report it. No matter what the young woman in the medical bed wants.
“We get you have to do what you’re trained to do, but please pretend you didn’t hear anything you were told. She just barely trusts us enough to even be around us and some of us haven’t been on our best behaviour. It’s just…”
“We can’t guarantee that if she knows we said something she won’t just take off.”
“Given what you’ve told me and her health at the moment she could still simply take off because either way she’s a minor and her injuries have to be reported. Meaning if police find a lead to her family she could end up right back there. Especially if she’s not willing to talk. As you said, she can’t be forced to do anything against her will. Hopefully she can be convinced to speak to some one. For now, she’s sedated. We did run a rape kit as it appeared she may have been sexually assaulted. Once she’s awake, calm and her jaw is healed enough to allow speech she’ll have a mental evaluation. I’d like to suggest that one or both of you talk her into sharing her situation with the authorities and to allow herself to be admitted into a psychiatric ward. I’m sure there’s a lot more to her trauma than she’s shared with you. It’s in her best interest to speak with a professional.”
“We’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Thank you for everything.”
She simply nods and leaves the room. Aaron sighs heavily, resuming his pacing about the room. Not that it’s helping him calm down. If anything, he’s more anxious now than he was before. Bryant lets him be. They’ve a decision to make. Although, it should be fairly easy, it’s not. Deciding whether or not to convince someone they care about to have themselves admitted should not be this hard to do. It’s a simple matter of wanting what’s best for her.
“I’m gonna walk around for a bit.”
“You should go see them. Might calm you down just a bit. Plus, I’m sure it’s been on your mind for some time now. We’ll still be here when you get back.”
“Right…”
The moment Aaron leaves Bryant sits in the chair by Marie. Worry lines creasing his forehead. Just what the hell am I supposed to say to convince her that it’s the right thing to do? What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?