“I think I found a way! You know, for this whole 'Sex with a Dragon' Dilemma.

We just have to turn Diana human, or me into a dragon! Now the only question reaming is, how? Well I was thinking a lot about this and I may have found an answer. There were always legends about dragons appearing in human form, so I investigated them. 

Apparently a very old and very wise dragon once created an item so that he and his children could walk amidst the humans. I have no idea why a dragon would want to do this, but that's not the important thing here. So, I basically just have to search and find this item! I tried to find out about this legend as much as possible and was finally able to track down the guy that wrote it. His kinda strange to be honest. He seems really old and mysterious, also his eyes look a bit strange and his teeth are just a tiny bit to sharp... 

Well, wish me luck!”

-From Jeff Rutherions 'How I married a Dragon!'

*Sirius POV*

You should have seen the faces of Rot and the other fairies when they saw Doro carrying the small pieces of me! Grau started to cry and Schwarz just hatefully looked at Doro while Rot went completely nuts and started bombing Doro with fire spells. That's the first time I saw a fairy attack and I have to say, they are certainly not weak. I would guess their level to be somewhere between 800 and 900.

Rot calmed down after I told her to stop firing fireballs at the person carrying me. I told them what happened and all of them welcomed Doro into our group. I then ate bones and started to rest for a while. The next day I questioned Doro if there are any other unique monsters in these mountains. Getting more people like Doro would be great, since not only is he strong he's also still able to evolve and grow like any other monster. He gains EXP regularly by the way, which means we won't have to share souls in the future.

So, Doro told me that there are two more unique monsters around here. One of them is a huge three headed serpent and the other an very powerful small blue female ogre. When I asked him if that blue ogre was stronger than him he just nodded with death in his eyes.

…

Seems like he had some pretty bad experiences with her. Well, I'm not going to go for that serpent since I need more powerful necromancy to bring something like that back to life, but the ogre sounds interesting. I asked Doro if we could take her out two versus one and he seemed very sceptic. Maybe if he was as strong as he used to be but not now. Well, I guess we'll just have to both get a bit stronger before attacking her.

After talking a bit about our future I went out once again, this time with Doro. The great thing about this guy is that he's silent most of the time. I would take the fairies with me for safety while going out to strengthen my skills but I just can't stand their annoying talk all the time. They also have the bad habit of talking shit about me whenever I'm having one of my inner monologues which is kind of the most annoying thing about them.

Anyway, after coming across a few more goblins and killing them we finally find something interesting. A cave.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Now a cave may not seem very special but this one certainly is! There are spider webs outside of it and those things are HUGE! I'm talking about spider webs that are thicker than my arm! After entering the cave, I get a message that confirmed what I already had suspected.

Congratulations! You Discovered the natural Dungeon 'Lair of the Spider Queen'! EXP gain from all sources inside the dungeon is increased by 50% for seven days!

Natural dungeons are very rare and only form if a great number of monster without intelligence gather at one place. When I say a great number I literally mean hundreds of monsters! So, we found a cave full of spiders? Could be interesting. The bonus EXP is great for Doro but I sadly doubt that I'll find any Souls or religious bones inside this thing. Also, the message kind of had a strange color...

Well we are going to enter it anyway. I mean who knows? Maybe I'm lucky and the boss is a unique monster or something. I wonder about what size and level this dungeon is, it doesn't look that big to me. But hey, who knows maybe this cave is just an entrance to a huge underground spider-city!

I'm of course just joking here!

…

Why do I have that bad feeling again?

Well I'm sure I'm mistaking!

We enter the cave and look around to discover more and more spider webs but no actual spiders. We walk deep inside and after a while I get a bit nervous. First of all, there are still no enemies! And secondly the whole cave is made out of spider webs by now. I'm serious everything is covered in that white nasty stuff.

Alright that sounded wrong, but I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say. We should probably just leave before some-

The ground opens up before I'm able to end my thoughts and I fall onto a slide made out of webs. Doro jumped after me and the two of us are now sliding together. So, it WAS a trap? How do you even do something like that? I mean how do you fake a message? I shouldn't have trusted a grey fucking screen...

We keep on sliding for like twenty minutes until we finally stop

You entered the Realm 'City of Spiders'!

… 

Are you actually serious right now?

As to answer my question two disgusting things pop out. They look like spiders with faces. That's somehow very disturbing. As if that wouldn't be enough, they are also bigger than horses! Great!

“T-t-d-do not move!” (Spider-Thing 1)

“Yeah! Ot-t-t-therwise we'll bit-t-t-te you!” (Spider-Thing 2)

“Infect-t-t-t you!” (Spider-Thing 1)

“Eat-t-t-t-t you!” (Spider-Thing 2)

Those guys have some major speech problems. I mean what's up with that? They also don't seem to be very clever. I look at Doro and nod in his direction. He immediately grows in size and green marks appear on his skin as he grabs one of those spiders at the head and just crushes it. Well seems like they really aren't worth that much. I cast a Dark Orb and throw it at the second spider and the disgusting thing screams as dark mana explodes and rips him apart. Those things are really not very tough, huh?

Suddenly, more of those disgusting things appear and crawl in our direction. I cast Frost Prison and hear screams as most of them get impaled by my magic. It's not enough to kill them, but enough to make them stop. After limiting their movement, I proceed to cast dark orbs and kill one after another while Doro smashed them like… spiders, I guess.

Five minutes and twelve dead spiders later I find myself amidst disgusting spider parts. Seems like we will have to find an exit, huh? Well shouldn't be that hard since those spiders are pretty weak

…

Fuck. This bad feeling is back again.

…

I really should stop saying stuff like that.

*Third Person POV*

A small spider, only the size of a thumbnail is quickly running towards a huge room.

“Mist-t-t-t-tress! Oh mist-t-t-t-t-tress!” (small spider)

After running to the door in front of the room, she slips right under it and finds herself in front of a huge abomination.

A gigantic spider the size of a mansion is currently lying on the ground with her eyes closed. The monstrous arachnid has at least a leg span of over thirty meters and it would probably stand over fifteen meters tall if it wasn't sleeping. Instead of the usual spider fangs it had a vertical mouth filled with sharp fangs. Six of its legs were normal spider legs but the ones at the front actually had hands with long and thin fingers as well as sharp claws. The spider did not have any hair. It was crimson red and black colored, it's eyes were completely black huge dots. The enormous thing slowly opened said eyes and looked at its small friend.

“What is it, small one?” (Mist-t-t-t-t-tress)

“Int-t-t-truders! Someone act-t-t-t-ivat-t-t-ted t-the t-t-trap and killed t-the guards!” (small spider)

“Hm? Is that so? Send the elite soldiers to deal with it and let me rest.” (Mist-t-t-t-t-tress)

“Bu-t-t-t what-t-t-t if they are t-t-t-to strong?!”  (small spider)

“Then come again and I'll deal with them. But I really doubt this will be necessary. Go and inform the elites now.” (Mist-t-t-t-t-tress)

“Yes, mist-t-t-t-t-tress” (small spider)

meanwhile, above the ground in front of the cave stood a small woman.

“So he's in here? Let's see if Aya is still gonna be a bitch after I show her his head.” (Higher Fae)