7 Years Ago

February 12, 2068

1500 CST (Central Standard Time)

Drink-N-Forget, North Olympia

Teresa Young's Point of View

“Heh, so what’s it gonna be, pardner?” I ask.

I can see you trembling in fear from all the way across this table, Pumpkin Pie. Mwhahahaha! Following your imminent defeat, I shall feast upon candy bars once again! Yes, with my best friends Kiko Farrington and Julie Young at my side, I am unstoppable!

“This is bullshit! You’re cheating you little scoundrel” Pumpkin Pie accuses angrily.

How rude. Time to hit him with the puppy eyes.

“What? Me? Cheating? I would never,” I say.

I’m a lot of things, but a cheater is something I’m not. Adults are just sore losers. Fast Food, Soda, Caffeine, Chips, and Ice Cream were no match for my superior intellect, and now even Pumpkin Pie is about to split like a candy bar. Poker is the ultimate test of seeing who’s full of crap and who’s not. The best hand always wins, and victory is oh, so satisfying.

“Stop it! You are far from innocent,” Pumpkin Pie replies in desperation.

“How about you put a shirt on and calm your tits?” I ask.

“WHAT?!” He spews in anger as he slams his fist on the table.

“Nice one, Teresa,” Julie chuckles.

“Ahem. What she means is, she would like for you to continue the match,” Kiko kindly clarifies.

“Quiet! Just give me a minute,” he shouts with a worried look on his face. “I don’t… I don’t understand how you’ve been getting such a good hand all game.”

“Heh. There’s this thing called Lady Luck,” I say. “The goddess of gambling has clearly blessed me. You saps have underestimated me because of my physical appearance, and now you’re going to pay the price, with candy!”

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“Are you serious?!” Pumpkin Pie asks in disbelief.

“I have no interest and am far too young for adult beverages,” I say. “I only gamble for candy and, soon my wrath will spread throughout the entire kingdom! Hide your kids, hide your wife because Diamond will inevitably own the night! Mwhahahahaha!”

“You seriously only gamble for candy?” Pumpkin Pie stupidly asks.

“Of course. Why do you gamble?” I say.

“Hah! How kind of you to ask. I gamble for…!” Pumpkin Pie says.

“Ah, I don’t care. It’s time to finish this match, Pumpkin Pie. My eyeballs are tired of looking at your ugly face.”

Mind games. You’re scared, Pumpkin Pie, and it’s easy to see why. Everyone in this entire stinky bar is focused on this final moment! A red diamond nine, a red diamond ten, a red jack, a red queen, and a red king are the last cards on the table! Heh. This is as rare as my namesake. If Pumpkin Pie has a straight flush, then I’ll be one sad little girl, but that will never happen because Lady Luck is always on my side.

“Ladies first, right?” Pumpkin Pie snickers as he looks at his hand.

“Lady? (Time to enter the crybaby phase.) I’m just a sweet little girl. You have to believe me! I honestly didn’t think I would make it this far! I don’t really know what I’m doing! I’ve been getting lucky! Please, I’m not a thief or a cheater! Everything I do is legit! I earn money through hard work and savings! I just wanted to gamble with grown-ups! So… please have mercy on me! I’m sorry for deceiving you!”

“Hah! I knew all of this was just a fluke! Lady Luck, my ass!” He laughs with the entire bar.

“Please, can you just reveal your hand first? It’s my final request for the game,” I say.

“Welllllll, I suppose so. Only because you swallowed your pride and admitted that you got lucky. Feast your eyes on this! It’s a straight flush girly! This silly game is over!” He and the crowd cry in an uproar.

A red diamond six, red diamond seven, red diamond eight? Not bad, but bad enough. The Old World had quite a few intelligent people, but I’m the smartest person in The New World. Had I been born in the previous generation; I would’ve ruled the casinos with an iron fist! Nobody would’ve been able to defeat me. Sadly, that life is a fantasy, and this bullcrap is the closest simulation I’ll get. Nonetheless, people will never again look down on me one day! Diamond and Teresa Young are names that will be known across The New World and The Eight Kingdoms one day!

“Heh, you’re correct,” I say.

“Woah-” Julie begins.

“Damn!” Kiko finishes in shock.

“HMMMM?!” Pumpkin Pie grunts in confusion.

A silent crowd, as predicted.

“This game is over, for you!” I say. “Heh. Hook, line, and sinker. Mwhahahaha!”

“MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me, Julie and Kiko laugh.

Yes! Laugh with me, sisters!

“What?! What the hell is your hand?! Show me!” Pumpkin Pie spews in fear.

“Heh. Don’t judge a book (slowly reveal my cards) by its cover,” I say.

A red diamond ace assures my victory for a…

“Royal Flush,” I say.

“Impossible!!!” Pumpkin Pie cries in despair.

“And before you try anything funny, my friend Kiko here is the daughter of our legendary general,” I say.

“No, you mean?” He asks in gradual realization.

“She’s the daughter of Brian Farrington, which makes us untouchable, figuratively and literally. I’d say good game, but the deception has ceased at the time of your embarrassment,” I say.

Heh, another delightful victory for the almighty Diamond.