The inside of the building itself was… surprisingly immaculate. Polished stone floors stretched across a tidy foyer, occupied principally by a quite large, yet perfectly clean stone desk. A Brug woman sat behind the counter, her purple-tinted nose buried in a book. Despite the fact that there was no one else other than the two of them in the vicinity, Snooze noticed the woman didn’t look up even as the god approached.

“Uh, good afternoon,” Snooze said, “...how are you?”

The Brug seemed to suddenly realize that Snooze was there, and jumped, having been startled. Then, she leveled her pale-blue, triangular gaze at Snooze, and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh!” she said, quickly slapping the book closed, and sliding it a few feet to the right, out of reach, “Grand greetings to you, traveler! How may I be of service?”

Snooze smiled, and glanced at the cover, finding she was unable to read the curious runes that adorned it.

That’s an interesting development…

“I was just wondering what sort of place this is? I saw it and thought to myself, ‘this must be a palace of importance, right here in the heart of the village!’” Snooze said.

The woman gave her an unsure smile, and her eyes flashed to several points throughout the room where many different plaques and marquee laid bare the extremely obvious nature of the facility. But, being bound by the contract of customer service civility, rather than point out Snooze’s lack of perception, she fastened a grin to her face, and nodded.

“Why, yes, of course, traveler,” she said slowly, “you stand in the Village of Gens Chapter of the Guild of Ordinary Orthodoxy.”

“...the what, now?” Snooze asked.

“The Guild of Ordinary Orthodoxy…” the Brug repeated sweetly, “...have you not heard of it?”

“Let’s assume for the moment that I have not,” Snooze said, leaning forward on the counter and trying to give her most charming smile, “give me the elevator pitch.”

“The…” the Brug woman began, her brows knit in confusion.

“Oh, sorry,” Snooze said, “please give me the general idea, but in the most concise way possible, as if you had to explain to someone who was in a boat slowly drifting by you as you stand on the dock.”

“I see…” the Brug woman said, screwing up her face in what appeared to be a painfully registering thought. Then her eyes brightened, and she smirked, leaning forward as well, as if conspiratorially.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“This is the premiere hearth of knowledge, understanding, and morality. We are supreme acolytes of goodness, purity, and protection, following the path laid out by our divine father. Ours is a humble lot built on the foundation of our creator, and thus we seek to emulate his magnanimous visage, by word or woe.”

Snooze nodded.

“Right,” she stated, “that wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to hear, but you did wonderful for your first try.”

The Brug woman beamed back at her, and then extended her hand.

“I am Mediator Viz,” she said and pulled a chain up from around her collarbone. The chain dipped into the neckline of her ornate clothing, revealing a pendant that was shaped like a downward-facing crescent. She held it up in one hand as if to indicate her station before continuing, “and I would be quite pleased to make your acquaintanceship.”

Snooze didn’t exactly feel like lying, but once again, she wasn’t sure how much she should reveal in the moment. She hadn’t yet figured out what was going on, or why she was so weak. She also wondered why she’d been asleep so long without a single prompt from either the Book of Leaf or her Archangel, both of whom were still missing in action. So she altered her story just a touch.

“I am Ginblossom,” she said, “I would also be pleased to make your acquaintanceship.”

“Jin-Ba-La-Sam?” Mediator Viz asked, sounding it out slowly like most did whenever Snooze gave them a name.

“That’s close enough,” she said.

“Well, Gentlefolk Balasam,” Viz announced, “what manner of lore or tale might you abide on this day? Would you be wont to learn of the Valors of the Ordinary? ...or perhaps the Misdeeds of the Bleak Beast? Mayhap you prefer to be spun a diegesis of Origin?”

“Uh, the last one should do…” Snooze said.

“Wonderful!” Viz announced, “I shall grab a tome and return post haste!”

The Brug woman flashed away from the countertop, leaving Snooze alone in the room.

The god looked around a bit more, and finally, unable to help herself any further, she inched around the edge of the stone desk toward the book that Mediator Viz had been reading when she arrived. It was a burnished brown cover, with faded golden glyphs pressed into the face. She couldn’t begin to discern what the words meant. The Stonies had not developed a system of writing when she had… apparently fallen asleep Rip Van Winkle style, and so she had no basis for which to compare like she did with the spoken version of the language. But, she was hoping against hope, that maybe this book would have some pictures in it.

She took one last look around the room to ensure no one was coming--not that she thought she’d get in trouble-- but she still thought that it might not look the best if she just went about stuffing her face inside people’s books without getting their express written or verbal permission first.

The book was old, and creaked as she flipped the front cover open. Right away she knew she’d struck gold-- a wonderfully-detailed image was painted on the inside page. It depicted a wild menagerie of scenes quartered in a very elegant style. A dark and stormy ocean where two animals battled; one looked as though it was made of light, the other darkness. Another quartered panel showed the light-beast laying on its back in the dirt. Another panel was full of gray faces in a crowd, an orange creature holding a golden hill of some kind in the foreground. Finally, the last panel showed a blooming flower, and in the center, a leaf. The same design as the one on the horn-steeple out front. The Book of Leaf.

Snooze felt as though she was finally beginning to understand what was going on, but at that moment, she heard someone clear their throat.

Instantly, she slammed the book closed and looked up, expecting to see an angry Mediator Viz glaring at her, perhaps holding several knives or brandishing a particularly old bit of bread to clobber her with. But no…

It wasn’t Viz at all. This thing was strangely familiar.

Standing on all fours in the center of the room was a dog. In a hat.

Where had I seen something like this before?

It was a shaggy mutt, gray and brown wiry hair sticking out in every direction. It looked to be about thirty or forty pounds, give or take. On its head was a mildly bent and obviously harassed top hat. To Snooze, it was the most precious sight she’d ever beheld. Well, perhaps more than once if she could recall where she’d seen this creature before.

Suddenly, it spoke.

“Many apologies, Snooze,” the dog said, and indeed it had quite the stately little voice, like that of a documentary narrator, or a particularly winsome-yet-transformed cartoon prince.

“Uh…” Snooze said, “that’s… okay?”

“Well, allow me to brief,” the dog said, its tongue lolling out of the side of its mouth.

“I have come all the way from the Central Hub to contact you in person.”

“Central Hub?” Snooze asked, “what’s that?”

“Why, Snooze,” the dog said, “it’s the headquarters of all the deities. And it’s urgent. You may want to sit down for this...”