Len stared at Pitch for a second, considering her words more than she tended to in these cases. There really wasn't much point in continuing the conversation at the moment. They were going in circles, getting very little accomplished, and generally just earning her a headache in what she assumed was some sort of construct in her mind. It really just wasn't worth the effort right now.
"Look, we can get back to this some other time, I think it's best to leave it here right now, don't you?"
"I suppose you're right," grumbled the shadow. "There's really nothing more to be said. You had other questions?"
"I did, but it doesn't feel like the right time to ask them anymore. There's more going on tomorrow and I'd like to get something close to real sleep before it all starts. I guess just keep an eye out for any more of your kin that decides to come knocking so I can get ready for them when the time comes. I just don't have time to deal with theoretical talk of battling in some cosmic king of the hill competition right now. Let me deal with the shit that IS directly in my path, okay?"
"As you wish," with those words, darkness enveloped them both and Len knew the sweet release of nothingness.
* * * * *
She woke feeling... not rested at all, no surprise there. The lack of digital timekeeping in this world was a particular hassle when it came to trying to guess what time it was, but it wasn't her biggest problem. Instead she was surprised to find the bed empty. Somehow Kes had managed to get out of there without waking her up. That was a bit odd, truth be told. Len was a light sleeper on the best of days and tended to wake up three or four times in a given night. Waking up to an empty bed was disconcerting. It was a solid sign that she was in pretty terrible shape and probably needed to take the day off.
The problem with being a fledgling dictator, though, was that you really didn't get to take sick days until you'd secured your power base. What she had was a bunch of people looking to see her screw up so that they could pounce and take everything she'd managed to secure for herself. That, and Keris would never let her hear the end of it. If she were honest with herself, Len would have admitted that that was the biggest motivator here. Losing the control over the city and having it all fall to ash she could handle, giving that woman an excuse to be smug? Not happening.
She stumbled her way to the kitchen to grab some chakk and was delighted to discover that someone had already brewed her a pot. Taking in the deliciously bitter fluid she found herself awake enough to register that Balar was there waiting for her, an indulgent smile on his face. She mock-scowled at him and continued to drink.
"Had a feeling you might be needing that," he said with a grin.
"You felt right," she replied, finding the idea of saying more than that supremely unappealing.
"Care to explain to me why you've hired my wife on as your assistant? Seems... well, it seems absolutely nuts if you ask me."
"I didn't," she replied, again keeping the words to a minimum.
"After all she did, you're just going to forgive her like that? Are you nuts?"
Len paused to collect her thoughts. This was the sort of situation where careless words could cause a lot more harm than needed. Worse than that, she was in exactly no condition to be having that conversation but Balar seemed intent to push the issue. That was a good sign that the issue he was having wasn't actually that Len had made that choice.
"Say what you mean to say, Balar."
"She was willing to kill you, willing to sacrifice me, to betray us all. Just to save her own skin. She shouldn't be anywhere near us," his fist clenched in barely controlled fury. "I had meant to send her away from here for good to guarantee that she never had a chance to harm any of my family again."
The chakk hadn't fully done its job of waking her up, but Len didn't have the luxury of time to wait for the rest of her to catch up. It wasn't like she didn't get what he was saying, the level of betrayal in play here was absolute, but at the same time...
"Not sure you're the best person to talk about betrayals here, mate."
"What's that supposed to-"
"Oh come off it. You didn't like the way the winds were blowing and you cast your lot. Thus putting yourself, your family, and HER in mortal peril. You can't expect me to believe that she was an ardent supporter of this shit at any point in the process. You had to bowl her over to get your desires met here. Yeah, I get that you saw this as the only route possible to ensure everyone's survival. I'd bet you all the money in this city that she was doing the exact same thing. Stop pretending that you are some uniquely betrayed individual here, you committed yourself to the plan of treason, betrayal's the name of the game there. More than that, you bestowed the authority of command on someone else rather than taking that position for yourself. I fought you, Balar. I don't think there were many in that jackasses ranks that could've slowed you down, let alone beaten you. All that power and you still chose to entrust everything to a relative stranger. Care to explain that."
Balar fell silent at that, refusing to answer.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Look, I'm not going to pry into your reasons and I sure as hell am not going to step into the quagmire that is the state of your relationship with your wife, but I'm also sure as hell not gonna let you sit back and tell me how I should go about salvaging the wreckage that is this nation. Keris has skills that are useful to me. So long as she continues to be useful to me, she's welcome here. If you've got a problem with that, too fucking bad. You're not any more off the hook than she is when it comes to bearing the responsibility for your actions. We're going to do what it takes to save this damn place if it's the last thing I do and I won't let your own bitterness or double standards get in the way of that."
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"Double standards!"
On another day, the outrage on his face would've made her chuckle. Right now, though, he was pissing her off. It wasn't like he didn't have legitimate grievances, but the fact that he refused to see that he wasn't the only wronged party here and seemed to think that she'd automatically side with him in these matters was beginning to make her blood boil.
"Did I stutter?" She glared at him with all of the disgust that someone barely roused to consciousness could muster. She did her best to avoid outright hostility, but she wasn't giving him an inch here.
After a moment of their staring contest, he looked away, sagged, then deflated completely.
"What the hell am I supposed to do?" he asked with a mixture of bitterness and despair.
"Talking to your wife would probably be a start. I'd suggest marriage counseling but I think we're still several centuries away from that," she ignored the quizzical look that statement earned her. "Look, whether or not the two of you work things out isn't actually any of my business. I won't go so far as to say I don't care what happens there, but I'm staying out of it. That's not my place. Do what you want on that front. What happens with me and her? That's MY business. I'm gonna work her to the bone if she wants to earn a place in my good graces and if she blows it, that's on her. I'll be perfectly content to ship her to a position as stablemaid on the edge of the city if she blows it but I am giving her a real shot. I think you should do the same."
"How can I begin to consider that?" he was genuinely asking, not being a rhetorical ass.
"Look, I've never been married. Had a fiancee once, but I'd be lying if I told you that I had any clue about keeping a marriage alive, I couldn't even keep that going. I have had some close friendships over the years. Most of them I wasted or threw away. Plenty of good reasons to do so, there weren't even many that I truly regret losing, but the ones I did lose? Yeah, it sticks with me. The thought that maybe if I'd listened a little harder, tried to understand where they were coming from, tried to at least reach out once in a while, maybe they'd still be in my life." (She omitted the fact that most of those friendships probably wouldn't have been able to hold up across dimensions or whatever the barrier between her world and this one could be called).
"Your advice here is to talk? That's it?"
"Um... yeah. I get that the stereotype is that you menfolk suck at that but we both know that's bullshit. Fer crying out loud, you're a goddamn trader. You understand more than most how important communication with partners is. Look at it like a negotiation. You have an equal partner that has something, I assume, that you want or else you wouldn't even be talking to me about this. What do you want from her?"
"I don't know," Balar muttered softly. "I just can't believe that she did this to me."
"Cool, great. Maybe figure out what you want and go from there. Now, if you'd be so kind as to leave me to my chakk, I have three or four glasses of this shit to get through before I'm ready to face your wife and I'd much prefer to do that without trying to give you advice on a subject I'm profoundly inexperienced with."
She waved him away with a dismissive gesture. It wasn't really a thing she'd have considered before coming to this world, she'd always been a bit too eager to please, to make sure that she didn't get on anyone's bad side. Now? Well, she was getting a bit too comfortable with the idea of being on folks' bad side. Sighing into her cup she tried to put it out of her mind. It really wasn't her business and...
"I heard what you said to my husband."
Oh for fuck's sake. She looked up from her drink to see the scowling face of Keris. The scowl actually held less distaste than Len was used to seeing in it, and that was somehow more off-putting than the open hostility of most of their conversations.
"Yeah, well, I meant every word. Stablemaid, not joking."
Keris smirked at that.
"I was mostly talking about the part where you defended me."
"Yeah, well don't read into it that much. I'd bet that a decent bit of that was aimed at a couple of my shitty exes. Guys love to act as if whatever choices they make are independent of consequences but if someone dares to make their own choices all of a sudden it's the greatest betrayal in history."
Keris blinked at that, then nodded.
"Please don't tell me that you want to talk about whatever happened to make you feel like that."
"Oh gods no, Kerry. We're not that close. And even if we were that close, it's not a conversation I'm interested in having without copious amounts of booze on hand. Suffice it to say that we've all made shitty choices over the years. Granted, mine didn't almost get my whole family publicly executed, but they weren't great."
Keris scowled again, but it gave way to the faintest of smiles.