"Are you sure I can't just kill her? Seems like it'd be a lot faster than going through whatever motions you're concocting. More fun, too."

  "No, Cammie. You do not get to kill her just because there's a chance that she's trying to drive me insane via poison."

  "Seems like a pretty good reason to me, honestly."

  "That's because you're ALREADY insane. Like, by very definition."

  "Rude."

  "Oh please. Look, not only do we not have any proof that she's doing it, we can't even be sure that it's anything more than my own aggressive habit of drinking stuff that's probably not fit for consumption beyond the first glass. I was treating it like it was just a simple beverage and it's likely that my physiology isn't really designed to take anywhere near that level. Hell, just because she's the one getting it for me doesn't mean that there's not someone else doing the poisoning behind the scenes."

  "Then we kill them too."

  "That's... that's not how any of this works! You don't just kill anyone you feel like. Eye for an eye and blindness and all that."

  "Sounds great to me, let's do it!"

  Len paused, took in a deep breath, and glared at the gremlin.

  "You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

  "Would I do that?"

  "You know... I think you might. Anyway, no murder until we've got more facts to work with. For now, let's just have a day out on the town now that I've got my work done for once."

  "Uh... I know that I was the one pressing for it and all, but are you sure that's such a good idea right now? You're looking kinda... well, corpse-like."

  "Oh come on, I can't look that bad."

  As luck would have it, they happened to be passing a mirror as she made her objections. She flinched away upon seeing her reflection. As a rule, she didn't spend all that much attention on how she looked in this world. Her body had never quite felt like hers and it never sat right with her to spend too much time worrying about the looks of someone else's husk. She kept it clean, fed, and in general good repair as best she could when circumstances allowed, but beyond that she didn't much bother. Even by her relatively lax standards, she looked a mess.

  Her typically sleek white hair was matted and somewhat grayer than usual, her eyes were sullen pits that reflected only despair, her skin had a faint oily sheen that only added to the overall pallor. To say she was a fright to behold was being exceedingly generous. Sighing, she turned to a particularly amused looking Cammie.

  "New plan: instead of wandering the town in search of food and entertainment. We're hitting the baths."

  "Probably a good choice, oh mighty boss lady."

  Kelvach, being a society that theoretically operated as a nomadic force, kept all its sleds fit to travel (in theory). One thing that didn't really work on a travel basis was having a proper bathtub in each sled. There were washrooms that had the basics and one could manage a proper towel-down if one was desperate, but the haunting face she had beheld needed more aggressive work. Fortunately, there was one portion of town that catered to this specific need. Communal baths hadn't really been a thing Len had enjoyed in her previous life. The closest she'd come to it had been college dorm rooms with a shared shower space that... she shuddered thinking back to it. Some things in her old life were definitely darker memories than the numerous near-death experiences she'd had here. Kelvach, meanwhile, had thoroughly embraced the concept.

  The facilities were one of the few custom built arrangements of the city. Built close to a water source with it piped up through a combination of mechanical apparatuses and arcane technology, the whole sanitation sector was one of the few areas that had remained properly maintained throughout the Head's ruinous reign. It made sense, of course, because if that particular part of city life fell apart, people started dying pretty fast. Plus there was the part where it just felt incredibly satisfying to take a long soak.

  As the reigning Head, she had access to the Head's Chambers, a special facility meant only for leadership and constantly prepared for their arrival. She'd managed one visit before she'd gotten too bogged down by the various realities of leadership and had thoroughly enjoyed the experience but was still surprised to see them all spring to attention as soon as she entered. No fewer than ten attendants were on hand to serve her every whim. She'd mostly ignored the various servants that she'd had up to this point. Not fighting them, scolding them, or making their lives harder, just not relying on them to do the stuff she felt perfectly comfortable taking care of herself. She'd even managed most of her cleaning and pampering in the Chambers herself the last time. This time around, she was feeling a bit more open to the idea of letting someone else do the work for her.

  It was the strangest experience she'd had in a while, letting them take care of pretty much everything for her. From the disrobing to the washing, there was someone on hand to not only assist but to do the work in its entirety. It was weird... but she also really didn't have the energy to fight them on this. By the time she'd slipped into the tub just to soak, she'd practically lost consciousness. She managed to avoid taking that final step and passing out only by force of will and paranoia. There was the distinct possibility that someone was out to kill her and it wouldn't do to fall asleep too soon. Instead, she focused her attention on Cammie who appeared to be soaking opposite to her. As she'd been left alone to soak for a bit, she felt no reason to avoid further conversation with the creature.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  "So what is your deal lately, why so murderhappy?"

  "I beg your pardon? Lately? I've always been murderhappy."

  "No you haven't. You've been extremely willing to make with the murder, but now you're almost desperate for it. It's not just that you want to kill something, it's damn near like you NEED to."

  "Eh," Cammie waved a hand dismissively. "It's not really like that. Don't get me wrong, I would happily murder the hell out of everyone within a five block radius but need is too strong a word. Really, I'm wondering what YOUR deal is."

  "My deal?"

  "Yeah, you beat me, shackle me, and then you hardly ever use me outside of these pointless little chats of yours. I could have been spying on that witch ever since she crossed you and we'd know for certain if she was the threat. Instead, you ignore me unless I badger you for attention or you're bored. It's not great for the ego, if you know what I mean."

  "Do you even have an ego? Does conventional psychology work on shadow demons?"

  "How am I supposed to know? I'm tied to your mind, remember. If it works on you, chances are it has an effect on me."

  "Geh, this stuff is too much for me right now. So, what actually is your take on all of this?"

  "You mean besides just murdering everyone and having done with it?"

  "Yeah, besides that."

  "Well, I'm not sure that Keris is the one behind it, but you're definitely being attacked. There are a lot of people who want you dead at this point and it'd be insane to operate under any other assumptions than that this was intentional. You're probably right that we shouldn't leap to conclusions of who is actually behind it, but someone definitely is."

  "Yeah... So, what can you do to help me with that. You mentioned that you could've been spying on Keris for me. I hadn't really thought of that. It actually works just fine with my general plans of not using you directly unless I have to. Basic information gathering would probably work quite well. Only thing I'm worried about is how far you can get away from me while still being able to function."

  "Oh, don't worry about that. It's not infinite, but I could probably go several thousand miles from here without being in any real danger. It's more of a duration of separation issue than a distance one."

  "How long can you last?"

  "Not really sure on that one either. This is all pretty new for me and I don't know the rules. Pitch isn't exactly forthcoming with the details, either."

  "You noticed that did you?"

  "Funny, that. Basically, I think I can go a couple of days without issue, longer than that I start to get a bit weaker, much longer than that and I really start to fade. Before long I end up looking like you do. The droopy eyes and all."

  "Hey!"

  "You know it's true."

  "Fine, so outside of that lack of contact you're pretty much good? Can keep an eye on anyone and report when you feel like it? That'd probably be a good call for how to use you then. Once we're done with this relaxing stuff, you're gonna have to go and keep an eye on Keris until I say otherwise. You can report to me whenever she's working with me. No funny business, no messing with her or anything she does. Just inform me of all the specifics. I really hope she's not looking to kill me. Outside of the fact that it'd be someone trying to kill me, I'm kinda getting a soft spot for her, ya know?"

  "You're kidding, right? Attempts to kill you, treachery, general bitchiness. Any of that ringing a bell?"

  "Oh sure, she's rough around the edges, still kinda fun to have around."

  "You sure you're not just loopy from messing with time and space, getting a highly potent stimulant and probably narcotic out of your system while also working your ass off on tedious paperwork that you shouldn't have to bother with?"

  "I mean, there is that," Len allowed. "It's just that she's pretty damn good at her job. I'd hate to lose her and I'd really hate to have to kill her."

  "Why's that? People die all the time, it's pretty much the only thing you lot do consistently."

  "Yeah, but it's not something that should be rushed to. And it sure as hell isn't something I want to get used to being responsible for."

  "You're leading a nation that's on the brink of war. Seems like a pretty foolish distinction that you're worried about killing one woman who's probably irredeemable."

  "It's that probably that's the catch. Look, back in my old world I read a lot of books, a lot of comics. Lots and lots of fiction. A hell of a lot of that fiction was focused on interpersonal dramas of characters who got sucked into other worlds."

  "This is a common enough thing in your world to be treated with that much literature?"

  "Oh gods no, it never happens. Well, never happened. Actually, maybe it happened all the time and I just never realized it. Not the point. A lot of these stories were trashy romances about a heroine who overcomes struggles, often including an evil villainess who made the heroine's life hell for no good reason. Things... didn't usually work out well for those women."

  "So what? They sound like trashy women who got what they deserved."

  "Oh, they deserved it, sure, but that's kind of the point, their whole reason for even being in the story was to drive growth for the heroine, not really grow themselves. They got trapped in destructive cycles and ruined all for the entertainment of the reader. It just was always so sad to me, that they typically were trapped in spirals that could've been avoided if only the right person had reached out their hand."

  "Eh, seems stupid to me."