Len sat down at her desk, utterly exhausted. She'd managed to take care of a couple issues of the day but had also found herself littered with more hassles. Keris clearly needed the day to figure her shit out and wouldn't be any more use, and Pitch had just dumped whole new worlds of headache on her. All in all, it wasn't a thing she loved contemplating. The power to bend folks to your will? Shady ass shit right there. It didn't help that she'd seen an aspect of that sort of power with Astrid, and she REALLY didn't want to dwell on the implications of that chestnut right now. No, the knowledge of what she could do here and now, that was terrifying enough thank you very much.
The worst part of it? Pitch was probably right. This wasn't a world where she could afford to squander advantages that came her way. Every step she took on this bizarre journey was one that could end with her getting beaten to death in despair and no matter how comfortable she might feel in a given moment, she couldn't let herself forget it. Still, every part of it sat wrong in her mind. She didn't particularly love the idea of getting close to Keris, that wasn't a bond that seemed like it'd be built to last, but she absolutely loathed the idea of taking someone caught in a desperate moment and exploiting it. The very idea made her slightly ill. Yet, it was undeniable that having people with absolute loyalty to her would improve her chances of survival. All it would take would be a willingness to use them.
More than that, would it really be all that bad for either of them if she DID use them? She used everyone around her to an extent. It was a necessary part of the workings of the world. It wasn't like she'd just be looking to throw people away the moment they ceased being useful. Would it really matter that much if she just happened to nudge things in them a little bit to help the process along? She shook her head aggressively to clear out the downright villainous thoughts that kept creeping in. She couldn't really tell if it was her own thoughts at play there or more of Pitch's influence trying to creep in, but that really cemented the fact that she needed to avoid giving in to such urges.
She'd assumed that with this newfound strengthening of her bond with the shadow creatures that it'd mean that she was the one gaining the upper hand. Of course, she really had nothing to rely on for that assumption beyond the conversations she'd had with the two. Cammie seemed a bit more... malleable than Pitch, actually taking cues from Len's actions. Pitch, meanwhile, seemed bloody determined to be the one molding her. It was unsettling to contemplate how successful he'd been at that goal recently. She'd stopped paying attention to him and she was realizing just how dangerous that might have been.
Still, it was the sort of problem that she had to put on the back burner for the moment. There were lots of issues that demanded her attention. Even with the Guard being slightly better managed now, there were countless other nitpicks, issues, and complaints from all corners of the city. Requests for additional manpower were pretty much everywhere and if she didn't do something to meet the labor shortfall, things were going to start looking grim fast. And, of course, there was the fact that Claymar was still lurking somewhere. Always so much to consider. It was exhausting as all hell. Still, nothing for it but to get to work.
* * * * *
She didn't keep track of the hours as she worked, it was too damned depressing. Having lost her aid for the day she had to work all the harder and all the longer, all to barely keep up with the work that needed to be done. By the end of it, much to her dismay, the pile had gotten larger than when she'd started. It was enough to drive her to drink or something darker but she didn't even have the energy for that. At least the shades had had the decency to leave her in peace ash she toiled. They hadn't exactly been doing much to earn her good graces of late, so it was nice to have the respite. Either that or they just thought she was being boring and couldn't be bothered to pester her. Whatever.
Eventually, as had to happen, she called it a night. She hadn't gotten any progress but at least she'd kept things from spiraling out of control and some days that had to be enough. She trudged back to her room, depressed to have had another day gone without a moment to relax and enjoy herself. Kes had already crashed for the night and didn't respond to her greeting as she entered. She quickly disrobed and swapped to a nightgown and was just about to climb into bed herself when a faint knock on the door interrupted her. Groaning internally but having a care not to let it out and wake Kes, she went to the door and greeted whatever thief of joy had decided to keep her in the waking world longer. It was Taylor.
"Hello Len," the assassin said with a soft voice.
"What is it, and why couldn't it wait until the morning."
"Well, it turns out that Cassius has decided to try and blackmail me into serving him again."
Len's eyes flashed with worry before she could stop them. If Taylor had decided to give into that blackmail, there was a good chance Len couldn't stop her in the condition she was in, even less so with Kes sleeping behind her. Taylor caught the look and chuckled softly.
"Relax, I'm not the sort to keep switching sides. I made my decision to throw in with you and I'm gonna stick with it. No, I'm here to clear up some details about my past that he was planning on using."
"Go on," Len said carefully, wanting to see where this was going.
"You see, I'm a really dangerous person who's done terrible things."
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"Uh... yeah?"
"That's basically it. I can detail the specifics if you really want to hear them. Tell you the names of each man, woman, and even a child or two that I've killed to survive. I've worked for the highest bidder within the lands of the Demon Army and within the Golden City itself. All for coin and survival. There is barely a corner of this world that I haven't walked and that I haven't spilled blood. I'm not some backwater clansman who happened to do a bit of killing from time to time. I even came close to killing the Demon Lord once. Got spotted before I could pull it off, but I was damned close."
"You're pulling my leg."
Taylor gave Len a quizzical look.
"Err, you're kidding me. There's no way you can have been that prolific."
"Oh, I absolutely was. That's why he's able to threaten me. You need to understand just how much killing I've done before you decide to keep me around. If you don't, well, it'll come as a hell of a shock to you when my enemies start finding me."
"Ah, so that's what he's really doing."
"Yup. He's not going to expose me to you, he's going to expose me to all those 'friends' I've made over the years. Good news is that a lot of those folks have either gotten themselves killed or fallen into ruin after they lost the people I'd been hired to take out. That's kinda the whole point of an assassination: disrupting not just the individual but those around them. Still, it's impossible to keep track of everyone, and there are plenty who'd want me dead just to keep me quiet about who hired me for various jobs."
"Nothing quite like the joys of dealing with the sorts of people who would hire an assassin, no loyalty to their employees."
"Tell me about it, why do you think I did my best to get out of the life?"
"Did our illustrious pal give you any message for me?"
"Well, his intended message was a knife in the gut, but I think you'd rather pass on taking that."
"Yeah, I really would. Anything else?"
"Not really, the usual bluster and threats of raining down hellfire on this rickety town I call a home. The usual. I'd always thought he was pretty well-spoken, but I think you shook his pride to the point that he lost a bit of himself. Either that or his boss beat him so badly he lost some of his wit. Not really a thing that matters. So, what are you gonna do?"
"What do you mean?" Len asked, buying time more than anything. What Taylor wanted to know was obvious.
"What are you going to do about me? You realize that you're going to be inviting a world of suffering your way by keeping me around."
There it was again, that feeling. It wasn't quite as strong as before. There wasn't as much desperation in Taylor as there'd been in Keris, but it was there. She was shaken. Reeling. Trying not only to figure her place in the new order but worrying about what could happen if she was cast out now. It was the perfect scenario to bring her further into Len's grasp.
"Oh what a load of-" Len bit her lip.
"Pardon?" Whatever she'd been expecting Len to say, that wasn't it.
"Bah, neverminded, a personal problem that I'm dealing with. Of course I'm going to stand by you, what do you take me for?"
Relief flooded onto Taylor's face and Len knew in her heart that she'd just succeeded in drawing the assassin closer to her. She resented that knowledge but didn't care. It didn't matter in the least whether it was playing into whatever game Pitch was up to, the answer had always been obvious. She'd hesitated with Keris because that was exploiting someone in a manner that she'd have felt uncomfortable with. Taylor was a different story because protecting her in this instance was always what Len would've done. She did feel a bit dirty having the extra understanding of how she was affecting the woman, but it wasn't something that could be helped. All that really mattered was that she'd do her best to keep her safe.
"Why?" Taylor asked warily, in spite of her relief.
"Well, for starters, we've got a contract. You're one of my people for the time being. More than that, you've helped out immensely already and I wouldn't be okay with tossing you to the very wolf that you helped me defeat. Even more than that, I just don't like the idea of playing into Cassius' hands. He wants us to go one direction, I say we go another. Stick with me and you'll be fine."
"I know it's a bit hypocritical of me to point this out after basically asking you to protect me, but don't you realize how much trouble this could bring your way?"
"Sure, add it to the pile. Fill out your form in triplicate like everyone else and I'll get to it when I feel like."
"Huh?"
"Actually, that's probably a good idea," she said, blowing past the assassin's confusion at her casual use of idioms that no one in this world could hope to grasp. "I want a list of everyone you've killed so I can have an idea of who might be coming for me. Everyone who hired you, too. Might as well get everything down that we can so that we have leverage when the time comes..." she paused, realizing she might be asking too much. "Only if you're okay with it, of course. No qualms about professionalism or anything like that?"
Taylor laughed at that.
"Oh, lord no. They can all rot for all I care. No sense in holding onto that info if it's gonna send me to the grave. Maybe try not to screw over the ones who don't send folks to kill me, though? That seems a bit rude."
"Sounds like a plan, then. Get to work writing that list. Try to have it to me by the end of tomorrow."
"Sure thing, boss."
Taylor left without saying anything else and Len, mercifully, collapsed into her bed at last.