Entirely too soon, Len was roused from her slumber by Kes. She had no way of knowing how long she'd been out, but it was still dark and there didn't seem to be any threats looming near. Shoving down some mild frustration over the waking, she waited for the girl to tell her what she wanted.

  "Are... are you doing okay?" Kes asked.

  "That's a rather broad question," Len mumbled. "We talking macroscopic scale or more of a day to day thing? Because, honestly, probably not that great on either front. Why do you ask, and why couldn't it wait 'til morning?"

  "It's just..." Kes hesitated. "You seem so busy lately, I'm getting a little worried."

  "Eh, don't worry about it, kid. Worrying's a thing for grownups and, in spite of what you might have heard, you've still got a long way to go before you're one. Enjoy it. Trust me."

  "That's bullshit," Kes snapped, suddenly a fire in her eyes that burned away a few layers of Len's own sleep-addled fog. "How the hell am I supposed to not worry about you. I don't have the luxury of being able to pretend that everything will be fine if you vanish one day, remember."

  Whoops. Len was realizing a bit too late that she might have stepped on a landmine here. It wasn't even that hard to understand. If she'd taken even a half-second to think about it more clearly, of course the girl would be worried about things going wrong with her newfound guardian, given what had happened to the last ones. She was in a hostile environment that was basically held together by paper mache and all it would take would be a couple things going wrong in quick order and everything would come crumbling down. Not really the sort of thing to shrug off as a nothingburger.

  "Eh, sorry 'bout that," she said lamely. "I get that you're gonna worry a bit, but you've got to trust that I can handle things. There's a lot more going on than anyone can keep up with but I'm doing what I need to here, it's not going to be easy but I'll make it work, I promise you that."

  "I don't care about any of it working. Honestly, fuck these people. I don't give a shit about them. You, though, you've done so much for me, *risked* so much for me. How the hell can I not care?"

  "Aww... you care about me?" Len pinched the girl's cheek in a show of obnoxious affection.

  "Yes, of course I do you idiot."

  "That's great. Thing is, though, all the things that made me the person you care about, those actions of selflessness and, let's face it, utter folly. Those are the things that mean I have to do my part here. There's also that little bit about how if I blow it, all of our futures are pretty much sunk and I'd really rather avoid that if at all possible."

  "You keep saying that, but you know you could just ditch it all, run away. You might not have the easiest time of things, but you can't expect me to believe that you couldn't survive on your own."

  "That's... not the way things work, Kes. Sure, I could ditch everything, run to some random corner of the world and start over. I'd probably have a pretty easy time of it for a while. The world isn't that big, though. I'd hear about the consequences of my decision to abandon everyone. I'd be betraying people who counted on me. People who care about me and who I care about. That's not the kind of person I want to be."

  "But-"

  "No, I'm sorry Kes. I really do get your fears but I can't be the sort of person that abandons everything because it's hard. That won't do for me, and you wouldn't want me to be that person, anyway."

  "That doesn't mean you should destroy yourself just to make things work, dammit!" Kes was surprisingly vehement on the point. "Ever damn minute of every damn day you're pulling yourself farther apart, all trying to keep a city from crumbling to ash on your watch. How the hell is that fair? How long will you do it?"

  "First, I'm not THAT close to falling apart. I'll grant that it's been a rough couple of days, but I'm tackling it as it comes. Believe it or not, I'm actually going to be turning a corner pretty soon, I think."

  "That's what they always say," Kes snapped bitterly. "Just a little more, Kes. Be patient a little longer and everything will turn around, you'll see. I'm not an idiot, Lenore! As soon as you get THIS problem wrangled, you'll be running off to some new problem. You'll probably leave me behind when the time comes, anyway."

  "What? Why would you say that? Of course I'm not going to leave you."

  "The hell you aren't! Isn't that the whole point of all of this schooling garbage? You're trying to make me get ties to the people here so that when you ditch me you'll be able to feel like you're doing me a favor?"

  Len balked. It wasn't like she'd had any active thoughts of doing that, but it was hard to deny that there was a part of her that figured she belonged with her own people.

  "These AREN'T my people," Kes barked as if she'd read Len's mind. "These people abandoned me and so many others just so that they could keep from rocking the boat. You act as though they deserve you, deserve your help. They're nothing more than cowards. At least the ones who were banished couldn't have done anything. These people could have left, could have spoken up, could have fought! Instead, they just waited for someone else to come and solve all their problems. Just like you're doing for them now!"

  "Look, I'm sure you're getting tired of the 'it's more complicated than that' response, but I really think you could do to take a step back here. For most people, things aren't nearly as easy as you make it out to be. Understanding the consequences a choice you make could have on those you consider family is one of the most terrible shackles out there. It can paralyze you or lead you to doing things you'd never have considered in a million years if not for what you'd be risking. It's not like they wanted to be slaves to a tyrant. They were just doing everything they could imagine to protect those dearest to them."

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  "Oh, so I should pity them because they were willing to let others get sacrificed because they were scared? You've got to be kidding me!"

  "All right, hold up a sec," Len put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Yeah, it's true that they were shitty, cowardly, and probably a good number of them were backstabbing opportunists. Doesn't actually mean they deserve to be slaughtered. Doesn't mean that they deserve to lose everything they have just because others did. Hell, end of the day 'deserve' has very little to do with the way the world works. What matters is that there are people here and now who need protection and I'm someone who can offer them some measure of that. Hopefully."

  "If they don't deserve it, why do you have to be the one to do it?"

  "Because I'm the one that's here. That's the thing of it, Kes. Often as not there's no grand solution gifted from the heavens that magically solves all the woes of the moment. It's just people. Fallible, generally shitty people who are fumbling their way towards some sort of hope. Right now, I'm the one best positioned to do it, which means that I, as a person trying her very best to keep things on the best path possible as I see it, have to keep moving forward. Even if it means that I miss an hour or two of sleep."

  "But that's not fair. You shouldn't have to do it."

  "Of course it's not fair. A lot like 'deserve', fairness isn't a thing that exists outside of what we make of it. This here is why I suggested you focus on enjoying being a kid and leaving the worrying to the adults. Now then, let's get back to that other part."

  "Other part?"

  "Yeah, that part where you seem to think that I'm going to ditch you as soon as it's convenient. I'm so sorry if that's the impression I gave you."

  "Then why did you send me away to spend time with other children rather than staying with you?"

  "Because that's what a kid your age SHOULD be doing, you doofus. You shouldn't be running around fetching things for me that I could do just as well myself or send some bored guard to pick up. You should be having fun and learning about the way of the world from trained professionals, not a sleepy-ass woman who gives a good rant on occasion but really would much rather be asleep right now."

  "Fine then. Swear to me."

  "Huh?"

  "Swear to me on all you value that you'll never abandon me, that you'll be there whenever I need you. That you'll protect me."

  "A bit heavy for a late-night chat but fine, you want promises, you'll get them."

  There was an old tradition with Dark Elves when it came to oathmaking. It hadn't really been the original Lenore's thing, but she'd still learned the motions. Len grimaced slightly, but did as she'd been taught. Biting the corner of her lip with one of her sharper canines, she tore the flesh open enough to let some blood flow forth. Touching the blood with her index and middle fingers, she gathered enough blood to make the mark she needed on Keseryn's forehead, a simple cross pattern.

  "I, Lenore Wraithwhisper do solemnly vow to do everything within my power to keep Keseryn..." she paused, then continued "Wraithwhisper safe, to hold her as one of my dearest people and protect her from the world. She will never be abandoned so long as I have any power within me."

  There was the faintest glow as the magic did its work. It wasn't a powerful bonding and the backlash of breaking it probably wouldn't be ruinous, but the symbolic nature was strong all the same. More than that, the effect it had on the girl was instant and overwhelming. Tears welled in her eyes and she grabbed Len in a rough hug, sobbing into her nightgown.

  "Hey now, isn't that a bit much?"

  "You mean it?" The girl whispered. "You're giving me your name?"

  "Assuming you want it, absolutely. I'm not gonna make excuses about needing to take responsibility or anything like that. I want you to be with me because I want you. Simple as that. There are few things in this world that I value more than you, kiddo. You've been more help to me than you can know when it comes to keeping myself grounded as all this shit's been going down. Yeah, it's a bit of a rushed thing, but I get the impression that you needed assurances and I can't think of anything that would make things clearer than this."

  "I want it," the girl said softly.

  "Cool, fantastic. I really am overjoyed. Full disclosure: at present I don't really exist to my own family so we're all each other's got on that front. Plus Kila, but I'm sure she won't object. Just don't ask me who I'm thinking about dating."

  "Oh please," Kes snorted. "As if anyone's in the dark on that one."

  "Hush," Len thumped the now much cheered girl on the head lightly. "So, can we consider this matter settled? Have you heard enough that you'll be able to go back to sleep secure in the knowledge that I'm not going anywhere?"

  "Yeah," the girl said, sniffling softly.

  "Excellent," Len laid back down to sleep the sleep of the just.

  Entirely unbidden, she felt the revolting understanding of just how much she'd influenced the girl right there. It didn't matter, she'd have done things exactly the same even if she hadn't known that those were the words to say... Right?