I awake in a massive golden cathedral; at the front sits a large altar. The altar has a robed man with a beard lying in a certain way that seems to say, ‘draw me like one of your french girls.’

“Hey, Goro-chan~♫ My name is God.”

I try to find words to respond, but before I find them, my mouth slips open and responds automatically, “Are you coming on to me?”

“Oh Goro-chan~♫, don’t be like that,” God pouts, standing upon the altar. “I love everybody equally; I’m not coming to you.”

“Why am I here?”

“Don’t you remember? You died?” God says matter-of-factly

“I died!? How? Did I die saving someone who was about to get stabbed?”

“No,”

“Did I get hit by a truck?”

“Nuh-uh”

“Did someone push me in front of a train?”

“Nope”

“Oh, I know! I died pushing a person who was about to be stabbed out of the way of a truck—driving on train tracks.”

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“God no,” God mocks, “How did you even come up with that?”

“Did you just take your name in vain?”

“Come on, Goro-chan~♫ I created the multiverse; you think I’d care about semantics?”

“Ok then, how did I die,” I grumble.

“You got so mad at hitting the bottom of the ranked ladder in the popular online video game L**** of L**** that you burst a blood vessel in your head.”

“What kind of a way to die is that?”

“I’ve seen worse. According to the death ranking, you died in the 11,076th in worst to die.”

“That’s not that bad.”

“Then again, there have been over 200 sextillion deaths.”

Screw you, God, you could have spared me the details, you dick!

“Goro-chan~♫ you shouldn’t be rude like that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m God. Did you think I can’t read your thoughts?”

“I thought you created the multiverse, so language like this doesn’t matter.”

“Goro-chan~♫, that’s no excuse for being rude. Anyway, I think it’s time you get going.”

I gulp, “You mean, you’re sending me to hell?”

“Nuh-uh, I’m sending you to your next life. Do you think you get to go to heaven or hell after just one life? I don’t have enough room for that many people. Nah, you have to work for your meal.”

“That’s just—”

God clears his throat, “So without much further ado.”

The church walls fall away. I fall to my knees when I see what’s now standing behind the being called God. A giant red gacha machine with an absolutely massive dial on the front. From my quick glance, there have to be over one million gacha capsules in there.

I stammer, “A-are you telling me that reincarnation is decided by a gacha game?”

“Of course, everyone knows that gacha is the best game genre.” God gives a smirk before whispering, “for the developers, that is.”

God swings his hand down, and the massive dial is turned. The capsules inside the machine spin around like a tornado, finally a single capsule rolls over to me. I reach down and pick up the capsule cracking it open.

“Go-kart Hero?”

A wild smirk appears on God’s face; he looks directly at me and then says, “To be continued.”