----------------------------------------
Chapter IV: My Descent
----------------------------------------
This environment is just strange, and it doesn’t help that I can’t see shit. Honestly, what was the point of obtaining visual prowess if I'm not going to be able to use it? At least I made a friend, I guess.
“Of course I’m your friend!” says the Esophagus.
Right… Now, how do I get out of here that’s not through the anus?
The Esophagus contracts and pushes him further down, only to say, “Hmmm, no ones ever asked me that before. I’m not sure. But why wouldn’t you want to go to the anus?!
Uh, do I really have to explain that? Buddy, going anywhere near the pooper is never ideal. I need a different way out… Maybe you could just send me back up the way I came?
“Oh, no, no, no. I can not do that. I’ll upset all my other friends,” says the Esophagus as he pushes some portions of Peter further down.
Hold on now, I’m your best friend though. Best friends help each other out in time of-
“My best friend is the anus,” says the Esophagus.
“I think you’re an anus! How about them apples?!”
The Esophagus wingles and says, “I haven't had apples in years! And I am no anus, I am the esophagus.”
You know what Esophagus! You're a real prick! How about you just get me out of here and away from you as quickly as possible…
“Anything for a friend!” says the Esophagus as the entirety of Peter is pushed into an empty chamber.
By the way how the hell haven’t we hit the stomach yet? I should have been there within seconds of being swallowed. Oh, wait, now I’m falling… Of course.
Ahhh! Please stop this rollercoaster! I’m gonna die! Stop!
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
*Plop* *Splash*
Must have been plot time, after all how would I process so much in mere seconds otherwise?
“Welcome! I am the stomach. I’m here to help break you down in preparation for the intestines. Please, allow yourself to become aquiatent with my harem of acid.”
Hit points -.069
Damn, that stings. Why do I feel like something is grabbing me from all sides?
“Hello, Peter, we love you!”
“You’re amazing Peter!”
“Oh, Peter, you’re the best!”
Hit points -.069
Hit points -.069
This is not what I had in mind at all when I pictured a harem. Where are my cat girls? Where are my elves?! Dammit all! This is so bull bullshit… I feel like I’m covered in goo, and to make matters worse, the goo is fucking talking to me!
“Why do you not enjoy my harem? They are so attentive and helpful,” says the Stomach as it rumbles.
Helpful to you maybe… Listen here Stomach, you’re going to get me out of here.
The Stomach swirls and says, “I can get you straight to the-”
Don’t fucking say it! I am not going to the anus! Listen, please. I need a more humane way out, maybe out of the belly button or back up the way I come. Wait, actually, I don’t want to meet the Esophagus again… I have to go out the belly button!
“Hm, okay friend, just for you! I’ll give it a try, but no promises,” says the Stomach as he pushes and contracts.
Woah, I’m starting to spin! Is it working? Where is the exit anyway?
“Peter! Don’t leave us yet!”
“We’re going to miss you Peter!”
“You were my favorite!”
Okay, I’m really spinning now. I never thought a burger could get dizzy, but I’m feeling really disoriented… It’s like I’m going around and around and around, C’mon man, cut me a break.
“Uh, Peter, I messed up! It looks like you’re prematurely going to the intestines!” yells the Stomach as his whirlpool intensifies.
What! You did me dirty Stomach! Curse you! Woah, I’m going down again! Make it stop! Ah!
The Stomach yells, “I’m sorry Peter! Just be careful of the ulceres! They’re not nice!” and he forces Peter down into the intestines much like one would force a plunger into a toilet.
What did they say?! ‘Ulceres?’ Shit, that can’t be good. Wait! Maybe I could make my way out through one of them!
=Status Update=
Name: Otto von Peter
Level 2: MC Paddy
Hit Points: 0.483
Magic: Grease
Skills: Preservation [mental fortitude +1.5], Smoked gouda [Wisdom +0.99], Hair of bacon, lettuce, tomato [+.01 Wisdom], Completed Burger from Great Sage Burgers [+1 Wisdom], Last Stand [Special Immunity]
Attribute: Perseverance [willpower +2]
Integrity: +5
----------------------------------------