Chapter 21 - Faith

Dahlia paused before her chambers, hand upon the doorknob. Her eyes sank into the waves imprinted in the wood of the door. She blinked a few times to stop her mind from drifting away. It was hardly past midday. Yet she wanted to curl up in bed and close her eyes. She turned her head and squinted down the red carpeted hallway, white luminite embedded in the walls. She had no memory of walking down it. Was she really that tired?

Eildred stood two feet away from her with hands behind his back. She had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes, his height a good few inches more than hers. The barest of lines marked his face. Slights of grey could be seen in his neatly kept beard and hair. A strange combination. His appearance did not complement his deep violet uniform in the slightest. Then again, he probably didn't care about his appearance.

He looked so much like Madrivall. Same broad shoulders and tight chest. Same serious yet somewhat soft expression. Dahlia felt her eyelids droop. She leaned forward unafraid of falling, knowing that he would catch her. Maybe even hold her. Let her press her forehead against his chest.

"Your Majesty?"

Her eyes snapped open. She spun around to face the door again. What was she thinking? He was Madrivall's brother. She didn't want to put her captain in an uncomfortable position.

"Your Majesty," he said again. "Would you like me to wait outside, or will you be resting for a while? I can have someone else posted to stand guard."

Dahlia swallowed. His voice was soothing like the gentle headwind found only before the bow of a sail ship. She turned the doorknob and stepped inside. "I think I'll be resting for a while," she said. But she didn't want him to go. She wanted to know he was still there and within reach if she asked for him.

Eildred had other duties to attend to. He worked so hard and asked of nothing in return. Never asked for a break. Never left for an evening to spend at a tavern. He was always on the palace grounds so long as she remained there as well. Always ensuring her security and keeping her informed on matters concerning the realm. He almost did too much. Dahlia wished he'd ask for something. She'd grant it without hesitation. He had earned it. She turned to face him again.

Eildred bowed low. "Then I'll have someone posted here."

She nodded and slowly closed the door before he'd risen to standing posture. Someone wasn't really needed to stand by her door. The hallways leading to her chambers had pairs of Queen's Guard standing watch. She pressed her head against the door, trying to hear Eildred's footsteps as he walked down the hall. Her fingers were still curled around the knob. She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the door open again, the passing wind make her dress and hair flutter for a moment. "Eil—… Sir Aegis!" she called as she stepped out. Why did I stop myself from saying his name?

He came back using longer and faster strides than usual. "Your Majesty?"

Dahlia blinked. What now? Why did she call him back? "I… I'm sorry. Could you keep me company for a while, Sir Aegis? I could use your counsel."

He nodded. "Of course."

She let him in and closed the door behind him.

"Your Majesty, I don't think it's appropriate to close the door while I'm here."

She rolled her eyes, walking past him and taking a seat on her four poster bed. "I'd rather our conversations didn't leak to unwanted ears, Sir Aegis."

"The halls are secured by men and servants that Finral and I trust."

Stop making sound arguments for Flames' sake! She didn't respond and lay back, resting her head on a soft pillow, uncaring for whether her dress suffered wrinkles or not. She kicked off her tight and elevated shoes, letting her feet rest and exposing skin above her knees with the way her dress was crumpled beneath her legs. Eildred stood mute a half dozen feet away from her. She sighed, curling up to make room at the bed's edge. "Come sit here," she commanded, gesturing with her left hand. He hesitated. She could see confusion in his expression. Her heart rate increased as he stepped forward. He's Madrivall's brother, Dahlia. Don't do anything you'll regret.

Eildred sat down and took hold of her right wrist, gently pulling her hand away from her mouth. She flushed, realizing that she'd been biting her nails again. "What did you need my counsel with, Your Majesty?"

"Would it kill you to use my name, Sir Aegis?"

"It would be disrespectful."

"Then I command you to use my name while you're here."

"As you wish, Dahlia."

She stayed silent for a while, wondering if he could hear the pounding within her chest. She closed her eyes still tired enough to want to sleep. Feeling safe and relieved now to actually fall asleep. If anything did happen, Eildred would take care of it. He was reliable. Dahlia opened one eye to see what he was doing. He stared at the carpeted floor, legs hanging over the side of the bed, hands clasped together and back slightly hunched, seeming as if he were deep in thought. His expression was otherwise unreadable. Dahlia had half a mind to try biting her nails again just to feel his touch. But she couldn't. This was nothing more than foolish desire. Nothing more than her imprinting her dead husband's image upon his elder brother. She sighed and turned away, pressing the back of her right hand to her forehead. "I feel like it's my fault," she said.

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"Your fault?" he asked, turning to face her.

She blinked in surprise. There were more lines in Eildred's face than usual. He looked worried for once. She didn't like it. Didn't like being capable of reading him. He was supposed to have the answers when she didn't. Or at least seem like he had the answers. Was he worried about her, or about the state of affairs without her leadership? Probably the latter, given how hard of a worker he was. She felt guilty. She was disappointing Eildred with her weak demeanor. "Kovar's conquest I mean. It's as if I'm to blame for it. I asked Lord Coraine to come here. And then Kovar fell."

"It isn't your fault, Dahlia. It is either a coincidence, or Theodore had enemy spies within his circle."

"But still, if I hadn't… He might even blame me. I haven't exactly been kind to him." Theodore had always seemed the carefree type. She'd never imagined he could put up such an enraged expression. Then there was the tone of his voice when she'd questioned his loyalty.

"He isn't the kind of man to hold grudges when there is no reason to have a grudge to begin with," Eildred said.

"You don't hate him?" she asked. Eildred had broken a few of Theodore's bones during Dahlia's wedding night after his comments regarding her weight.

"He's a good man, Dahlia."

She inhaled a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut. "Then go," she said.

"Pardon?"

"Go and help him. Take the island of Kovar back in my name. You can use some of Exaltyron's forces."

"And leave your side? He's more than capable of—"

Dahlia sat up and placed a hand on his arm. "It will be faster if you're there. And it will be a gesture of goodwill towards Lord Coraine. Please? Listen to me this once. You need a change of pace rather than be caged here babying me all the time."

"Your Majesty! I wouldn't dare presume to—"

"Eildred," she said softly, finally finding it within herself to use his name. She needed him gone for a while. If he was losing confidence in her, she needed to reinstall that confidence by proving to him that she was more than capable of making decisions on her own. And most of all, she needed him away to sort out her feelings. To figure out whether what she felt was just primal desire, or if it was a true yearning. If she would truly miss him or not. "Take about half the city's royal troops. If I recall correctly, Lord Coraine has some twenty warships, but hardly two hundred soldiers per. Don’t worry for me. Besides, I'm sure you'll make all the necessary preparations for me anyway," she smiled. "Don't reject this request, please. Or I'll be forced to command you."

Eildred stared at his hands for a while. "I swear on the crown to return swiftly and victorious."

"You needn't swear anything. I've always had full faith in you."

He stood up and bowed. "Then by your leave, Your Majesty. I will depart at once."

She tucked in her knees and hugged them, nodding. "I think I'll take a nap now." Dahlia stared at the white lotus upon Eildred's back as he turned and left, closing the door behind him. He didn't need to leave right that moment. He could've at least argued a little harder for staying with her. At least until she tired and fell asleep.

***

Eildred glanced back at the plateau upon which the royal palace was perched. A setting sun lay hidden behind it, making it seem as if the plateau exuded a radiance oft found in paintings. A legion in white uniforms marched behind him. Preparing them to set out had taken the better part of the day. They weren't as well trained as Duke Serene's soldiers, and nor did they have the same experience.

"Thank you," Theodore said, riding a plain brown horse with a streak of white on its face.

Eildred grunted. His own horse, as was the case for all Queen's Guard, was a specially bred pure black with powerful legs built for charging into enemy lines or breaking free of them with ease. "Save your thanks for Her Majesty."

"The help is most welcome. Morale will be high as well with the Thundersword himself present. I could return to Qalydon faster on my own, but I'm not sure what to expect from the Fang of Eurale. I never trusted Admiral Dhorjun to begin with. But I didn't think he'd be bold enough to attack. It's my own fault for not expecting it."

Eildred estimated the distance between Qalydon and the capital. In an average estimate, it would take just under a month for the marching legion to reach the port city. About a day to sail to Kovar. And then that same timeframe to return. Accounting for possible disruptions, he expected to return to Dahlia's side in under three months. Harvest season would be nearing its end. "Do you suppose the Kingdom of Eurale has a possible hand in this?" he asked.

"No," Theodore said. "King Agram isn't the scheming type. He wouldn't have his own ports sacked. Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to imagine the possibility at least. By the way, was it wise of you to leave? I've been hearing strange rumors regarding the rise of Trillians and the supposed support they have within her majesty's court. And then there's Lord Galadin and Caranel. Neither of which I'd trust with… well with anything really."

"It can't be helped," Eildred responded. "I do as I am commanded." Except he wasn't commanded to do anything. But how was he to refuse her when she asked him with such a kind expression? He had every right to refuse her. To convince her that he was needed at her side. That she needed his protection. There were others amongst the Queen's Guard that he trusted could fulfill his duties for a while if ever he wasn't available. But Eildred wanted to be the one fulfilling those duties. He wanted to be the one at Dahlia's side at all times. "Lord Galadin and Caranel will not be permitted to remain on palace grounds. It's my job to make sure unsavory characters like them are kept away from Her Majesty." Except for Adrian Rinz. The one person he couldn't find a way to get rid of because of how it might hurt Dahlia.

"Aye and you do that job well," Theodore said. "Maybe too well eh?"

"Meaning?" Eildred asked, eyes narrowed.

"Nothing. Should we pick up the marching pace? I can't imagine pirates being kind to the citizens of Kovar."

"Yes," Eildred nodded. The faster he completed his task, the faster he'd be allowed to return to the queen's side. "Light run!" he bellowed, nudging his horse into a faster trot. He glanced back at Exaltyron one last time, its radiance considerably lower now that the sun had sunk further and the day's warmth dissipated.