Chapter 15 - A Trial of Conviction
Ny'Danis looked at her feet through her fingers, head buried in her hands. She pressed two thumbs to her temples. A dull rumble shook her throne. It moved the tiny pebbles at her feet. As if the sound of her own sorrow filled heart was causing the ground to tremble.
…No…
Ny'Danis frowned. She focused on the rumbling. They were vibrations. Vibrations being picked up by the roots of trees as if a storm were brewing outside of the forest. Or a marching army of great size were passing by. The vibrations grew stronger with her every breath. Ny'Danis closed her fists. It was normal. Soldiers moved by every now and then. They would march past the forest. And if they didn't, no human army had the strength to overcome her power or that of her Guardians. Time and again they'd tried. Time and again they'd failed, her daughters delivering overwhelming victories. As was expected of them.
The forest deity turned her attention back to the Trials. Back to watching her two daughters and hoping they proved her predictions wrong.
***
Horrid screeching echoed through the dark chamber. It had begun the moment Sar'tara stepped out of the gate. Her eyes searched every corner for the source as a sheen of cold sweat formed on her skin. The screeching continued. It came from the very end of the chamber. A dark cavern like space with smooth and glossy walls. Ahead of her lay a long tunnel, at the end of which was a pale light akin to that of the moons. She took a cautious step forward, feeling her footing with her toes. A regular rocky surface.
Something repulsive overwhelmed her. Her instinct screamed at her to turn around. To run in the opposite direction, where there was nothing but a wall. The air in the chamber grew heavy. Sar'tara didn't know what lay ahead, but she knew that she didn't want to go any further. Her throat felt restricted. Her heartrate picked up its pace. Whatever lay ahead was ominous enough to make her joints stiff.
The final Trial. Perhaps the hardest.
Sar'tara grit her teeth and moved forward one step at a time, each footfall slower than the last. The feeling of dread grew. Imagination took hold of her thoughts. She wondered what the final test would be. Some animal I've never seen before? Or a creature not of this world? She racked her brain for a similar sounding screech. Nothing came to mind. All she knew was that the sound could not possibly be human.
The end of the tunnel grew near. Sar'tara swallowed a heavy lump in her throat. She was led to another chamber, this one smaller than the last. It had a domed ceiling with a hole in the center from where silver light shone. The beam of light revealed the most hideous thing the she'd ever seen. The creature before her continued to screech, its razor sharp teeth threatening to rip apart any flesh it came into contact with. At the center of its chest there was a smoldering hole. Charred lines had been pressed into the flesh around the hole. They were brands. Chronary rune brands. Sar'tara backed away at the sight of it.
"Approach it."
The voice of Ny'Danis. Her Mother's voice served to calm her, but only slightly. The creature was bound and on its knees. Its arms were held down by iron rope nailed to the ground. It rattled as the creature thrashed about, trying to break free. Sar'tara did not know the strength of metal. She doubted it could hold the creature for long. The way it screamed and moved exuded an intense desire for violence. Its skin was a dark red. Some parts entirely black. Three rows of horns lined its muscular back. Two thin pairs of eyes ran across its forehead. No nose. Claw like fingers and toes. And an excessively wide mouth.
Sar'tara didn't need anyone to tell her what she was looking at. It wasn't an animal. It was a creature of the ancient world. A being from the War of Ashes. A devlish soldier created by the king of the Tortured Throne. Created to wage his war. A Heartless. Sar'tara's first instinct was to kill the thing right then and there. She stepped back and nocked an arrow on her bow.
"Approach it!"
But… There were not buts. It was her Mother's command. If she failed the final Trial, then everything would have been for nought. Everything she ever strived for would come to an end and her own life would be forfeit. Sar'tara took measured, but hesitant steps towards the Heartless. She awaited further orders from Ny'Danis, wondering just how close she was expected to get to the creature. It showed no signs of tiring. It thrashed about as if it had boundless strength. Sar'tara swallowed again when she was less than two feet away from it. The nightmare reached out and snapped its teeth, its face mere inches away from her torso. Its four disc like red eyes were filled with bloodlust.
"Place your hand on its head."
Sar'tara hesitated. The moment she did that, her hand would be bitten off. But it was an order. She reached out, fingers trembling. The Heartless stopped moving and looked curiously at her hand. Sar'tara rested her palm atop its surprisingly smooth head. Her vision suddenly blurred. The room spun wildly. The dark cavern disappeared. She was standing on a field of grass. An open plain. Before her stood a tall, bearded person with a slightly round belly. A man, for only men had beards.
The man was smiling. He held an odd spear in his hand. One with three sharp points at one end. The points were made of metal. "She looks just like you," the man said.
Sar'tara frowned. "Pardon?"
The man approached her. Sar'tara held her hand out and stepped back, not entirely sure whether he was friend or foe. He didn't stop. He went through her hand. Through her. He walked right through her as if she wasn't even there. Sar'tara turned around. The man had been speaking to another woman. One of short but dark hair. She wore an odd outfit that covered the entirety of her body, save for anything above her neck. In her arms was a small child. "What is going on?" Sar'tara asked. No one acknowledged her. She was invisible to them.
"Witness. See and decide. Bear witness to this man's memory. And then kill him. Or don't. The choice is yours, my beloved daughter."
See a memory? And then kill? Realization struck her. "Mother… This…this man is the Heartless?"
"Yes."
"How. How does a person become a monster?" Silence. Ny'Danis did not respond. "Of course," Sar'tara muttered. This was her Trial. She needed to see it all for herself. 'Kill. Or don’t.' She was to make the correct decision of the two. Simple enough. She would kill of course. Person or not, the Heartless were beyond redemption. They were monsters with a single thought. The thought to kill at their master's command. Or at least that was what Ny'Danis had said when narrating the stories of the War of Ashes. There was something missing. Something Ny'Danis hadn't said.
There's a lot of things she never said… Lingering guilt of killing her siblings still plagued her mind. Sar'tara crossed her arms, watching the scene from the past play out, less certain now of what decision she would come to.
***
A man who had become a Heartless. Looking at how innocent he looked, Kiali found the matter hard to believe. She was certain that she would kill the creature when the memory ended. But she was curious all the same. Curious about not just the man's life, but the world around him as well. This was her first time seeing Illusterra outside the Papillion Forest. The golden sun in a clear sky —an image unhindered by numerous branches and leaves. A field of tall grass. Kiali wanted to know more. She wanted to see these people's homes. See the strange structures that plains dwellers lived in and their habitats that Ny'Danis called 'cities'.
She inspected the odd spear in the man's hand as he conversed with the woman. Its three points were spread a few inches away from each other. Akin to a spear. But wholly different to what she'd seen during the second Trial. The man headed towards a large hut. Its height was nearly three times that of the huts at the Selharr village. And its length and width much greater as well. Kiali assumed it to be a palace. Or a castle. Though, it was made of wood. Ny'Danis had said that castles were made of stone.
She inspected the walls of the building. It was made of cut wood stacked on top of each other, each piece held in place with iron nails. It was sturdy. As sturdy as a fortress walls should be. The man opened the gates. Kiali held her breath, wondering what would be revealed. She expected it to be filled with men —soldiers dressed from head to toe in iron.
It was filled with dried grass.
Large piles of dried grass on a floor of dirt mixed with animal droppings. There were also beast like animals of black and white sitting behind a fence. Kiali cocked her head to the side. She assumed the creature a horse, though its appearance differed from the one the ghost soldier had ridden during the second Trial. Was this a stable then instead of a castle?
The man used the three pointed spear to move large piles of dried grass and place it before the animals. He continued to do menial labor until the sun began to set. Kiali watched all of this with intrigue. She followed him to a smaller structure. A home. It was still bigger than any of the Selharr huts. The man sat down on a wooden seat with a heavy sigh.
"How much longer?" he asked.
"Almost ready," a woman called from around the corner. "Can you come pick your daughter up? She's too close to the knives and my hands are occupied."
Kiali cocked her head. Your daughter the woman said. Could men birth children? Ny'Danis had only ever mentioned women giving birth.
The man grunted as he rose. He rounded the corner where the woman stood over a fire near the wall, stirring something in an iron pot that hung above it.
"Come here, Lily. Mother is busy," the man said as he picked the girl up. She started crying and grabbed hold of a strand of the woman's hair.
"Ouch!"
"Lily, let go of your mother's hair!"
Kiali scratched her head. How could the child belong to both the man and the woman? Were they gods or just people? Kiali had never seen a man before. All she knew was that he had a beard. So he had to be a man. Aside from that, she didn't know what they were like. Or what they could do. To her, this was a learning experience.
Despite not being able to make sense of things, it was obvious that beings from outside the forest were very different from the Vashiri women. The way the man carried his daughter reminded Kiali of how Ny'Danis held her infant daughters, rocking them back and forth while telling tales of the world outside the forest. Some part of Kiali wished she were a child again. She missed that feeling of resting her head on her Mother's lap. Of having Ny'Danis' hand run through her hair. Kiali looked upon the girl with jealousy. It was obvious that the man and woman loved the child very much. Would they allow their child to kill family as my own Mother did?
The woman came around the corner, holding the hot iron pot with a cloth rag protecting her hands. She set it on the table. Steam rose from within. Kiali looked inside. Some sort of a stew. But she couldn't smell anything just as how she couldn't touch any of it as well. The stew was poured into three separate bowls and the family dug in. "Oh! This fragrance… Is it sage?" the man asked.
"Yes. I found some wild ones growing out back as they do this time of year."
"Still. There's something else making this taste much better than before."
The woman smiled, brushing a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "Take a guess."
"Is it a spice? No. Those are expensive nowadays. Then… salt?"
"Yes. The local lord was handing out small amounts at the village square. It seems he came by a large shipment and wanted to share. There's enough to last the winter if we use it once every cycle."
"Is that so? Lord Cairn is truly kind. I envy those living across the border. Their salt mines allow them to enjoy such pleasures at little cost. I'd—" the man was cut off by a sudden splash of stew hitting his face. The woman giggled. Lily, their daughter, was making more of a mess than she was eating. They reprimanded the girl with kind words. The woman took her daughter's spoon and fed her slowly.
Kiali found… perfection in this scene. But it didn't make sense. The family before her seemed normal people living normal lives on the plains. They didn't seem soldiers or deities. All her life, Kiali had thought of all plains dwellers as enemies to the forest. As greedy beings with no regard for life at all. Perhaps her views had been narrow. The world outside was vast. Maybe there were some decent people among them.
The room suddenly spun. Kiali's vision blurred just as it had before. She stumbled to maintain her balance. The scenery changed. The family of three were standing outside of their home. A pair of men dressed in iron stood before them. Real soldiers this time. The man looked older. He had more lines on his face and his beard was unruly. The woman was a little rounder. She had her hands around a girl's shoulder. The same girl from before. Their daughter, Lily. Only, she was now tall enough for her head to reach her mother's waist.
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"But I've never held a sword in my life!" the man was saying, trembling. The skin on his forehead creased in frustration.
"The army will teach you how," one of the men said, removing a helmet from his head. His breastplate and pauldrons had the image of a flame. You will be well compensated. A gold crown for joining to keep your family fed. And ten copper halves every nine day cycle."
The man paused as if considering the offer. "I still refuse," he said after a while. "If I fall in battle, the pay will stop. No one will take care of Laira and Lily then. And Laira can't maintain the farm herself."
"Sir, this matter is not up for debate. You have until dawn to pack your belongings. Else we will be forced to drag you away."
"That can't be! We are subjects of Lord Cairn. He wouldn't allow such injustice. Wars happen everywhere. Never in my forty-five years has there been a forced conscription!"
The armored men sighed. "This order is from Lord Cairn himself. This is no longer a simple war. The Tortured King and his horde of monsters are burning everything in sight. He is a calamity set upon destroying all life. You are mere peasants. Vyetrim is on the verge of destruction. And—"
"Vyetrim? That's hundreds of miles to the northeast! What business do we have helping another nation? One that's even attacked us in the past!"
"Sir, you aren't listening. This no longer is a war for power, but one for survival. Vyetrim has held for two decades. And that is only because of the supplies it received from us and elsewhere. The Tortured King's reach has extended beyond that nation. He knows it is all but fallen. Tyrella's Hold is short on manpower. The Emperor is busy repelling the hordes to the south. The Saintess herself was the one to order conscription. Lady Tyrella made this decision with utmost regret. Even the pale skinned nobles from the Kal'Kar Mountains have been called into battle."
Kiali twisted her mouth, trying to make sense of the situation based on familiar names. Vyetrim, the destroyed nation? Tyrella, the first daughter of Ny'Danis? Based on her Mother's stories, this past was from earlier parts of the War of Ashes.
The man's face was drained of color. "Kal'Kar? You expect us to fight alongside Vampires?"
"You must. Or all life in Illusterra will soon face extinction. We will be here again at dawn. Please do not make us spend more time than necessary."
The soldiers marched down a dirt path. The man sat down heavily on the steps to his home. The wooden boards creaked under his weight. He buried his face in his hands. Kiali guessed that he was being recruited to fight the Tortured King. A noble cause, though he was clearly against it. She looked passed him and at his family. Of course. He wants to stay and protect his home as Guardians do.
Kiali placed a hand on his shoulder, sympathizing with his burden. It went right through, reminding her that all she was doing was viewing a memory from a time gone. The woman named Laira was the one to comfort him instead. Everything spun again and the scene changed once more. The sky was dark. Hints of first light crept over the horizon. The two soldiers had returned. They were riding atop animals. These ones bore similarities to the one Kiali had seen in the second Trial. These had to be horses, she was sure of it. Though it left her puzzled. She wondered what the black and white animals in the large stable were.
"Are you ready?" a soldier asked as he looked down at the man.
The bearded man nodded, though reluctantly. He carried spare clothing in a cloth pack. Aside from that, he was bringing no other belongings. He kissed both Laira and Lily on the cheek before saying farewell while tears rolled down the sides of his face. Laira was crying as well. Lily just stared, confused and frightened, clearly perplexed as to why her father was being sent away.
Kiali's heart felt heavy. It was similar to when she'd turned seven and Ny'Danis had sent her to the Selharr village. She remembered how much her chest had hurt then. The sleepless nights of nothing but crying. The fear of being alone in a new environment while only being a child. The fear of not seeing her Mother again for a very long time, perhaps forever. The man knew that he would be gone for years to come, as did the woman. The girl was not yet old enough to understand. Half the love she had been receiving was being taken away from her.
The scene changed again. Kiali was now standing on a dirt plain littered with corpses of men and creatures. Mostly creatures. The same man was there, his round belly, gone, but his beard was longer and greyer than before. He was wearing iron armor. In his hand was a long iron spear with a flag attached on one end. The flag bore an image of a flame similar to that on the armor of the soldiers. The man was waving the flag, crying out happily. A few others around him cheered as well. All of them wore iron armor save for one.
"The hordes have been beaten!" the man cried. The cheering grew in volume. Kiali tried turning away from the corpse ridden sight, reminded of the Selharr village after the battle. But bodies lay everywhere. Strange creatures lay dead. But they were all extremely small. Hardly chest height.
"Don't be stupid," the man without armor said. He wore an outfit of white which extended to his knees. His skin was pale and he had bright shoulder length hair the color of leaves during the fading period. He prodded at a corpse with his thin sword. "These are mere imps and ratmen. Creatures that live beneath the surface. Their numbers seem to be limitless. They are only meant to tire us. The real army —the army of Heartless— has yet to come. As soon as Vyetrim falls…"
"Surely Vyetrim will not fall," one of the soldiers said. His hair was white and mostly missing. "The Saintess has sailed to Vyetrim. She will surely save it! I've lived in the Hold all my life. The Saintess is as strong as she is beautiful!"
The blonde man bore a blank face. "We can only hope…"
Kiali began connecting the dots from what she heard of the conversation. She tried getting a better look at the battlefield, but everything spun again. The scene had changed from one battlefield to another. This one was active. Lines of soldiers stood between what she assumed were mountains. Towering rock formations that seemed to touch the sky. The same man and his fellow soldiers stood in the vanguard. An eerie silence hung in the air. Everyone shifted their feet. Some swallowed hard. Others held their weapons with trembling fingers.
Kiali sensed an overwhelming amount of malice from beyond the horizon. She shuddered. Her mouth went dry. Arms reached back to draw her bow. The fear causing aura transcended the boundaries of time and space.
An army of Heartless were approaching.
"Ten years. I've been here ten years already," the man said.
"This is my seventh," said another. "I left a baby son back at home. I wonder what he looks like now."
"My little Lily must be of marriageable age by now. This has to be the end right? All this time, we were fighting mere imps and the like. All this time, the Tortured King has hidden his face. Surely he will show himself now."
Kiali looked down, ashamed. These people cared about the children they'd left. They didn't want to leave them at all. But Ny'Danis on the other hand…
"Hidden…" the blonde man echoed. He seemed to know more than the others. But he spoke no further on the matter. All of the men stood side by side, tall and proud. They had fought together for a long time and had forged bonds through everything they'd gone through. Kiali saw in them the same bonds she had with her Selharr sisters. Though these men did not share the same blood, they were one entity in that moment.
And all of that was shattered in mere blinking seconds.
Terrible screeches pierced the darkening sky. They reverberated through the mountains. They bounced off the iron armor of the soldiers, resonating between them, causing the pebbles at their feet to quake just as their knees. The army of Heartless crested over a hill and descended upon the men. Monsters of red and green and black skin. Horns on their heads and backs. Some held weapons. Others had sharp claws and teeth to use. The very sight of them was enough to drive any pride and strength out of the soldiers. They were wetting themselves in fear.
Kiali was reminded of the time she had her back to the tree trunk when faced with a Silver Tail wolf. The fear she felt then and the hatred for those creatures that had risen in her heart at that moment. They need to overcome their fear. Direct their hatred towards their enemies. Or they will f—
The line did not hold. It broke before the battle began. The vast majority of soldiers fled. With the defense line thinned, horns began sounding from behind. Even more soldiers were beginning to turn now. They were signals for retreat, Kiali realized. The vanguard stood still. They couldn't hear the signal due to the ear splitting screeches. The Heartless fell upon them. A slaughter ensued, claws rending flesh and teeth tearing limbs.
Kiali closed her eyes, hoping for it all to end. She didn't want to look at the monsters. She felt as if she were there herself, waiting to die. Everything that came into contact with her, went right through her. Still, she couldn't help but be nauseated by the malicious aura radiating from each Heartless soldier. The scalding heat pouring out of their smoldering chest holes. The pleas for help and cries for mercy from the dying men.
Few were left alive by the end. They fell to their knees, despairing and broken. They'd all fought for so many years and it all ended in a single moment of vanity. The monstrous creatures ignored them and marched past. Their numbers, boundless and vast. The same man Kiali had been following was still alive, staring at the ground, trembling.
"How?" the man muttered. "All this time we thought we were winning… Is this what it feels like to have hope shattered?" He clutched his chest. His forehead fell to the bloodstained ground. All his efforts were rendered useless. His accomplishments ripped away. He wailed aloud just like many others. "It hurts. Why does it hurt? How did we lose?" he screamed.
Kiali felt herself on the verge of tears herself. She shared his exact emotions. "You lost because you didn't fight," she said. "Turn around. Hunt them down from behind. It isn't over yet." Pointless. She was just an outsider witnessing what had already happened.
The scene changed again. This time, the man was alone. His form, disfigured and unsightly. His beard reached down to his belly. His figure, exceedingly thin. He used an iron spear as a crutch as he treaded down an empty field. Kiali felt the need to help the man. But there was nothing for her to do. Nothing she could even say.
"Home… Home…" he continued to mutter through cracked lips, his voice hoarse and his eyes foggy. "I… did not desert. Home. Laira… Lily. Must protect… home."
Kiali followed him. All the way to a scene of ruin. She recognized the place. It was the man's home. It was where he had originally set out from. But there was nought but burnt remains there. The fields of tall grass had been levelled and blackened. There were no signs of the woman or the girl. The man fell to his knees and screamed. His loved ones were also gone. He had lost everything.
"They… Them. It was them… They sent me away. They sent me to fight!" he cried with a vicious voice, fist and spear raised to the sky. "To protect the people. And look what happened. Look! At! What! Happened! They sent me away and didn't protect my wife. Or my child! It's all their fault. The soldiers. The Emperor. If I hadn’t left… I-I could have fought. Could have protected my family. Curse you. Curse you all. I'll kill you. I'll kill everything. All people. All Heartless. No one deserves to live! This-this cruel world! It should end! Arrrgh!"
"That isn't true!" Kiali cried. "You did your best. But…" But what? He couldn't even hear her. He was screaming his anger at nothing. Kiali choked. He'd wanted to protect his family but was forced to abandon them. What would it have been like if Mother had taken care of us?
The sun suddenly disappeared. Black clouds covered the sky. "Do you want vengeance?" A cold voice asked.
Kiali stumbled, scanning her surroundings for the source, hugging her arms. She shivered. Cloud puffs came from her every breath as if she were there at that moment.
"Vengeance? No. I… I just want it all to end. Want everything to disappear. I want my family back."
"Do you wish for the power to end it all? The power to bring to justice those who wronged you? Those who ripped you away from your family?"
"Power? Justice… to those that took my family…"
"The power to burn," the voice boomed. "To bring ruination. To level all so that none again suffer as you did. The power to be a hero!"
"No! Say no," Kiali pleaded, realizing this for what it was. The point of turning. Of becoming a monster. Falling to ruin wasn't the proper way. "Fight it! You're being lied to!"
"I want power," the man whispered. "Yes… I'll kill them so that no one else is snatched from their family. Power… so that no one else suffers!"
"Very well."
Smoke covered the torched grounds. A figure was born from it, its outline barely visible. Kiali waved the smoke away as her eyes began to cloud with stinging tears. One thing remained clear. A pair of icicle blue eyes hidden in the smoke. The eyes of the Tortured King. The Fallen One. End's Beginning. Light's Shadow. Many names had been attributed to him.
The eyes stared down at the man. Kiali looked at the soldier. His appearance was changing. A cylinder of smoke pierced his chest. Its form then changed into that of a grey hand holding a pen. Heat haze rose from the pen tip as Chronary runes were carved into the hole in the man's chest. His appearance began to change. His withered and bony form was being filled with renewed vigor. The color of his skin was changing from fair to red.
"No! He doesn't want this power. He's not thinking straight!" Kiali shouted, knowing it to all be in vain. Ice eyes fell upon her for a split second. Cold pierced her very being. Then they focused back on the man. Did he… see her? From within a scene of the past?
An ear-splitting scream caused Kiali to cover her ears. The man was no longer there. He had changed into the very monster he had been fighting against for years.
"Be reborn, oh incarnation of destruction. For to be a Heartless, one must lose oneself first. Go. Go and join your brethren. Follow them and destroy all to your heart's contempt."
The memory ended. Kiali found herself back in the dark chamber. She was sitting on her rear, sweat rolling down her arms and back. The Heartless was still bound and on its knees. It was no longer screaming. Its head hung low, as if it'd been defeated. Kiali thought she saw tears in its four eyes. She grit her teeth as she stood up. It was time for her to decide.
No matter what happened, she was looking at a Heartless. She nocked an arrow and drew back, aiming at the creature's bare chest. It needed to die. Its life was a tragedy. But that didn't justify all the lives that it had taken after becoming a Heartless. It didn't justify its existence. It chose to be a monster. It failed to conquer its emotions.
Kiali's hand trembled. After all those thoughts, she still hesitated. The creature looked up, its eyes full of fear. In them, she saw that same man again. Who he had been before he'd broken. All that he'd tried to do. She recalled her own feeling of loss. The Selharr sisters that were gone. The Kreivan sisters she'd killed. She remembered mercilessly slaughtering all those wolves in the previous Trial. As much as she convinced herself that she was killing because they would kill her, to them, she was the monster. She was the Heartless. She had killed a mother wolf before her pups and then proceeded to kill the pups as well. Just as a Heartless would kill children without hesitation.
A feeling of guilt overcame Kiali. What have I done? Who… Who have I become? She lowered her bow. The contents of her stomach threatened to burst out. The huntress fell to her knees. She looked at the creature before her. It was crying. It was regretting all that it had done. Just as she was. "I… Mother. I cannot kill it. I will not. It would be… wrong."
Is that the answer you have chosen? Ny'Danis asked.
"Yes."
A white gate opened, leading to the grove. Kiali breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she'd made the appropriate decision.
***
"No!" Sar'tara cried as the man she'd seen was no longer. What replaced him was a hideous monster instead. The memory ended and she was now back in the dark chamber. She gasped for the air that her scream had robbed her lungs of. The monster before her was still on its knees. Sar'tara took a moment to relax and gather herself. The memory was hard to bear. It left her chest aching. It was now time for her to make the decision that would decide her life.
The Heartless had its head hanging down. Tears flowed from its eyes, and hers also. Sar'tara drew back her bowstring. She squeezed her eyelids shut, fearing she would miss the shot. Hoping she would miss it. Knowing that if she did, she wouldn't have the strength to draw another arrow. She didn't want to kill the man. There needed to be another way out. A way to turn him back into what he once was. A chance at redemption. But nothing came to Sar'tara's mind.
Dwelling too long shows a lack in conviction, she recalled.
Sar'tara took in a deep breath. She swallowed a lump. Then let go of the bowstring, convincing herself that the cruelty of her actions was a necessity. The slight twang echoed in her ears for what seemed like an eternity. It was followed by a thud. The creature fell back, an arrow protruding from its skull. Its body turned black and then crumbled into dust as if it had been made of ashes. Sar'tara let out a heavy sigh. There was no returning now. No regretting her decisions. What was done, was done. What mattered now was whether her decision had been the correct one.
The white gate opened before her. Despite having made the right choice, she didn’t feel relieved in the slightest. The only thing Sar'tara now felt was guilt.