[Yoshitsune]

Heaven.

There was that word again. The antithesis of this place. The Takamagahara of the West. Aramaros spoke of coming down from that place with his great leader to free us all from our pain. Herzblatt claimed a misunderstanding of faith denied him access to it. Ishmael wished that his family would go there.

But, what was it? Nobody ever explained what sort of place it was to wish to be there with such zealotry.

I found myself bitter that definitions that were not my own were used to explain my experiences. What brought them such confidence that their interpretation was the correct one? Did their priests and monks describe it like this? Did they speak of transformation and these boxes the color of crimson used to puppet you through the dark depths to the townsfolk. If they did, why were so many here anyways? It was not the version that those converted by the Nanban spoke of. There was no reason to believe that Heaven was theirs either.

“Someone else once said that they came down from Heaven and they were a horrible person,” I said with a soft undertone of petulance. “Their actions made me believe otherwise. How are you different?”

“It is natural to be wary of such a claim,” the Chivalrous Demon agreed. Their wings shuffled behind their back to find a more comfortable position. “There are many grifters and duplicitous souls that hide under the cloth of God and use that knowledge that lead others astray. ‘It’s not fair that you’re down here, my fellow demon. Follow me and I will allow you to reach higher.’ If they knew what waited for them on the other side, they would not be so eager to leave.”

“It’s worse than here?” I asked in a combination of horror and suspicion.

The gold dragon of chivalry nodded patiently at my question. A metal glove scratched underneath their chin.

“Tell me, Yoshitsune,” the Chivalrous Demon spoke. “What do you believe to be worse: the painful truth or the pleasurable lie? Would you rather fight and die and feel or be in bliss that isn’t real?”

I scrunched my face. The pain that I experienced so far wasn’t something I enjoyed at all. There were moments that brought bright emotions that I hadn’t felt in life. But, did those few moments of joy justify the rest of it? The endless time spent boiling in the tar. My body boiling for minutes on end over and over again until a chain pulled me free.

“It is a difficult question to answer,” the Chivalrous Demon acknowledged. “I chose that the painful truth was more desirable.”

“Please, explain what heaven is truly like,” I requested. “I find it difficult to follow you when I have only felt one of the options.”

“Of course. Forgive me,” the Chivalrous Demon apologized. “When you have only known hot, then cold sounds wonderful. Allow me to explain my time above and why I descended downwards. But first, allow me to explain a little of why I managed to reach Heaven in the first place.”

The mana that flooded the room began changing. The chamber melted away to be replaced with the earthy scents of the outdoors. A hot sun beat down from above, forming droplets of sweat on the back of my neck. Thuds of hooves and the scent of a beast brought my attention to a horse that walked up beside me.

“I lived with the belief of God fully in my heart,” the Chivalrous Demon explained. “Everything that I did, it was in the full service of that belief. Those that studied Latin and knew His words always knew what was best for my realm, to make sure that everyone would receive grace and reward. All I had to do was be the sword and I would not err.”

The ground turned wooden and began to rhythmically sway. The smell of salt and cool spray of water touched my skin. Sea birds made their raucous calls overhead.

“When there are those that oppose your beliefs. When they conspire to destroy your people abroad and occupy the birthplace of your savior, adorning it in heretic trappings, you must act when you are called upon to change those wrongs. I got on a ship and sailed to the Holy Land on the orders of the Pope himself. I wore the Cross of Jerusalem upon my armor and I had ardor in my heart.

I found myself on dusty streets in a city along the coast. The sounds of metal hitting metal and the shouts of combat met my ears. Small streams of blood flowed from the battlefield and drained under my boots.

“From Antioch to Ascalon, I marched with my brethren to liberate the lands of the invaders who occupied it.”

The sounds of killing were replaced by hymns in a language I had never heard before. Rows of wooden benches were filled with people with their heads down, hands clasped in front of their faces; their voices joining the chorus.

“I returned home victorious. I was awarded some land and some gold by my liege lord. I was married to the Count’s second daughter and I had four beautiful children. The remainder of my life was peaceful and in the service of my town and country and God. I was rewarded for that with a peaceful death surrounded by people who loved me on a day that I could only describe as out of a painting. I felt my soul lift from my body and I ascended towards my eternal gift.”

This time, the landscape did not change. It was the same town, the same weather, and the same people that the Chivalrous Demon had left behind. I felt the Chivalrous Demon move to stand beside me. A feeling of disgust radiated from their body.

“I won’t be able to show you what it looked like up there,” the Chivalrous Demon explained. “I can only vaguely remember the appearance of Heaven. Even the fragments I could show you will be wiped from your mind as soon as you lay eyes on it. The purging process is quite…painful. I will save you that discomfort.”

“What was this Heaven like?” I asked curiously.

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“It was like it was described as I was told many times in my life,” the Chivalrous Demon explained. “But, it wasn’t Heaven. Not the one that I knew.”

The Chivalrous Demon took a long sigh. He walked by me and left the building. I followed him out and found myself in the center of an empty town. I heard wings spread apart and flap a few times, but he did not take to the sky.

“I opened my eyes to find my body young and full of youthful vigor. A blue scroll emblazoned across my eyes told me that I earned the right to live in this realm of eternal pleasure. I was given a set of wings and permission to go anywhere that I wished. So I traveled from place to place, country to country to visit the people and see everything that I could.”

The landscape changed and I audibly gasped. I could not see it, but I could feel it in the air, in the feeling in my bones, and in the words that left the lips of those that walked by. We were in Japan.

“Everyone that I met was kind and everywhere that I went was beautiful. But, it was those people in the caliphates that I met that made me realize that it wasn’t Heaven. These people had heard of God and still worshiped the wrong prophet and did not pray in the right way. These people would not ever ascend by the words of the priests that taught me, but here they were anyway. And, they were good. Even though the world was a bit different, I could accept it as long as these people were good and kind and loving.”

“Then, what was wrong?”

“Nothing,” the Chivalrous Demon replied. “Nothing was wrong until my wife died too.”

We remained in Japan, but a clearly foreign entity bubbled up from the ground. There was no aura on her body. Nothing that could even make her out to be a person. An entity that I was not permitted to gaze upon.

“When I was informed that my wife had passed and was joining me, it was bittersweet,” the Chivalrous demon explained. He pressed his hand against the woman’s skin, but a mana field rejected him and left his fingers smoking. “She had died, but she had reached me. She lived a life worthy of praise and celebration. When I saw her. I was overjoyed and wanted to hear all about the rest of her life. We traveled the world together.”

“Sounds nice,” I commented. “Spending time with your loved ones in beautiful places sounds enviable.”

“I was grateful, for a time,” the Chivalrous demon replied, shaking the smoke from their fingers. “But, after spending time together, something felt wrong. We returned to the town we lived in. Many of the elderly folk were there along with a few that had died young. They were all kind to each other and treated each other well. For a time, I thought that everyone was overjoyed with their eternal reward. But, everyone was too kind, too perfect.”

“They weren’t acting as you remembered?”

“Even the saints made mistakes in their lives,” the Chivalrous Demon said with a nod. “God did not demand perfection. A man that I knew for being lazy woke up early every morning to work fields to grow food that we no longer had to eat. Why was he toiling? An elderly woman that I knew liked to bicker with her husband and then kiss afterwards to show how much they still loved each other. Not a negative word out of either of them. Even my wife did not argue with me. Anything that I wanted to do, she enthusiastically wanted to do as well. I felt like I was the only one that wasn’t good enough to be there.”

The world began shaking as if an earthquake came to destroy the cities of my nation once more. But, none of the people around even reacted. As the buildings collapsed tidal waves sent seawater into the streets, they didn’t react.

“I managed to break free,” the Chivalrous Demon explained. “I stumbled out into a white hallway. I don’t remember what I saw in that hallway, but I learned that everything was fake. The world, the people, the emotions; none of it was real. All were replications using my mind. That wasn’t my real country, my real town, or my real wife. I was sedated and shoved back into this illusion. My mind was placated by some sort of magic. But, that seed of doubt never left my mind. I could not accept what I saw. So I did the only thing I knew to do to get me out of that madness. I started killing them all.”

I wondered if I could do the same thing that he did. I remembered back to the illusionist in Brunswick that pitted me against the memory of my family. But, what if the same thing was done with happy memories? Would I ever wish to leave even if they were kind replicas of the real people?

“I would have done the same,” I agreed. “I need to be with the actual person, even if that is worse than the ideal replication.”

“I knew that you’d understand,” the Chivalrous Demon complimented. “I’ve seen your acts in the lower levels. You may not always be virtuous, but what is there to expect from someone that is damned? The important thing is that I see you continue to try to be better than those around you. Even when your closest companion embodies the worst aspects of ourselves and pursues death and violence for nothing but his own casual interest, you remain good.”

“Which companion do you speak of?” I asked with uncertainty.

The world melted away and we were back in the original chambers. The Chivalrous Demon walked back towards the end of the room and returned to their seat atop their throne. They watched me with the eyes of a predator. There was nothing that I could hide under their gaze.

“I speak of the one who calls himself Ishmael,” the Chivalrous Demon replied. “He is the exact type of demon that the forces who constructed this place hope to cultivate. A type that is unwelcome in my future world.”

I tried to open my mouth to defend Ishmael-san, but no words left my mouth. I had seen his propensity for cruelty first hand. I watched how much joy he derived from killing, especially if he had a personal grudge with the individual. He has killed innocents in front of me, he made me kill innocents himself and then showed me his soft side when I was at my angriest. But, most importantly, he never harmed me himself.

“You do not need to speak about it,” the Chivalrous Demon said as if he were reading my thoughts. “I have an idea about your more personal connection. If it is your goal to save him and make him better, I will not stop you. It is a facet of the grander mission. Repentance is an important component of my faith.”

“How do I fit into that grander mission?” I asked.

“There are only two jobs that any high level demons look for to fill their organization: servants and soldiers. I wish for you to be my soldier, Yoshitsune. I need people of virtue to show the rest of this forsaken place that you have the option to be better. That only those that choose to be better at their worst could ever hope to receive the grand reward. To turn this place into the Heaven that is supposed to exist.”

Those words made me scrunch my nose. Heaven, Heaven. I had to be Heaven. I have already heard it before and felt no dignity and honor.

“That sounds exactly like Mikha’el’s dream,” I commented. “What separates the two of you?”

“Mikha’el is someone who has fallen from Heaven after learning the truths of that realm,” the Chivalrous Demon admitted. “But, I believe that the damage that revelation did to his mind was far more terrible than what had been to mine. I still wish to do it the way that I see best while he created the Grigori and will stop at nothing to craft the perfect future. But, I have my doubts about how holy that perfection will look.”

I remained silent. I wished to believe the Chivalrous Demon. I wished to believe in their swordsmanship. But, the goal gave her an uncomfortable itch in her head. What would a better Heaven even look like? Was such a thing achievable or would it just make everything far more miserable?

“Allow me to pose you a different question, Yoshitsune. Even if the world remains at a stalemate and the throne remains unclaimed, how do you want to experience this place of damnation? To cast aside your moral compass and follow the currents of evil or continue to fight and live with dignity?”

“I choose to live it with dignity.”

The Chivalrous Demon rose from his throne and walked towards me. A gold-scaled hand reached out to me; one that I accepted.

“Welcome to Avalon.”