“I was not expecting to meet you here, Passion,” I said as I tried to rise to my feet.

The ship bucked and groaned beneath me like a wild stallion. Its creaking showed its dissatisfaction with the elements. My weakened balance was the same as a newborn calf’s and I was sent spilling back onto the wood. I threw up blood and pieces of flesh that I ingested during my earlier fights, but that was not the miracle cure that I wished that it would be. I spat the bile from my mouth. Why could I never look decent in front of these Follies?

“But I was expecting to meet you,” Passion replied matter-of-factly. “You named yourself correctly. It seems that you are only a tourist of the sea. It’s too bad.”

“Why have you sought me out? Why in a place like this?”

“There is no better place than this to test yourself against suitable prey. I’m a friend of any sailor with an intrepid spirit and the will to challenge the overwhelming forces of nature. Get up and come fish with me. I have exciting prey today.”

With a snap of Passion’s finger, water leaked from my ears and I felt my wound sew itself shut with magical needles. Vigor returned to my waterlogged body and I was finally able to stand on my own two feet. The tossing of the boat almost knocked me prone again, but I quickly widened my stance to allow my body to bob with the waves until I got my bearings. Even the chaos of a storm possessed a rhythmic violence to it.

“What is our prey?” I asked, looking into the depths for a behemoth moving just under the surface.

“Something that has needed to be taken out for a long time.”

Passion gripped his massive hand around the hook and hurled it back into the water with a mighty throw. The chain clanged as it followed the lead back out into the sea. However, it did not hit the water. Instead, a loud smashing sound like dynamite carried over the wind.

Lightning cracked the sky and illuminated the horizon as well as Passion’s target. Standing resolutely out of the sea like a finger was the silhouette of a tower that reached towards the sky. Waves smashed and buffeted the structure like a punishing hand. Stones that the impact from the hook dislodged tumbled down into the angry waters and caused the tower to list to the side. But, miraculously, the structure remained standing.

“Is that the Inverted Tower?” I asked Passion.

“It is,” Passion answered gruffly as his fiery vision bore into the tower. “Damnable thing that it is. Once, this was the Dungeon that I was most proud of making.”

“What changed?”

Passion sighed and wrapped the chain tightly around a post. A grating song echoed from the heavy metal links scraping against each other like a tortuous violin recital. He stepped forwards, wrapping his fingers around the railing and allowing the spray of the waves to fill his beard with droplets of water. The cooling mist seemed to lower tempers, if only for a moment.

“This Dungeon used to test loyalties and fill even the most confident with uncertainty if the final reward was even worth all the death and pain required to reach the end. You mortals with your minds that hunger for patterns and safety came in with your subgroups and built a tomb around the entrance. You monopolized it and analyzed it until there was no thrill left to find in it. You’ve turned my whims into percentages, my mazes into guides that even the simplest of knaves could solve. I can’t look at it anymore without feeling a great deal of hatred towards all of you. I want it gone.”

Wood cracked beneath Passion’s grip strength and splinters were carried in the wind like shrapnel. I had to raise my arm to prevent my eyes from becoming pincushions.

“All for your entertainment then.”

“Do not speak that way to me. What else is there, if not to find ways to stave off boredom?” Passion demanded with an accusatory tone. “Why did you kill instead of living life mundanely? It’s because it gave you something you thought you weren’t capable of feeling. I saw the joy fade in your eyes at the end of your fight with that eagle. You won, but what a disappointing way to do so.”

“You’re right,” I conceded, joining them against the railing as chilling rain pelted me. There was nothing else that I could say in argument.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“Of course I’m right. But, you did give me something that I thought wasn’t possible in this Dungeon any longer. You and your fellows took a risk. You jumped when there was no certainty in survival and killed a creature so neglected by the optimizations of your fellow human that even I had forgotten about it. As such, I’ve decided to give you the opportunity to be tested once more.”

A finger was pointed at my head and a message popped in my skull.

image [https://i.imgur.com/uIw8JX0.jpeg]

Quest

Ripping away the Foundation

Folly of Mankind, Passion, is looking for someone willing to wrap their hands around the chain and rip away the certainty of the Inverted Tower. Topple over the failed building to earn the respect of the architect.

Reward: An ability from Passion.

“What are you going to do, little lizard?” Passion rumbled. The immortal possessed little patience. Their boots stomped a quick pattern against the wooden boards and the embers in their eyes reignited as his gaze moved once more the object of his hatred.

The decision was easy. Without consideration, I undid the chains under Passion’s eager supervision; the dense weight of the magical metal strained my muscles and forced me into a squat. What did I care if nobody else got to explore the Dungeon? Why did it matter to me if the Church was robbed of a valuable asset? I already got mine.

Fuck everyone else.

With several strained yanks, I pulled the chain backward. The line tensed and creaked like a giant rising from a slumber. The claws of my feet scraped against the wooden floors but could not find the purchase necessary to make good progress. Wind blew against the long chain and smashed my body against the ship’s cabin. But I did not loosen my grip. I wrapped my hands through the massive links and wrapped my arms around myself.

Passion moved their hands and the ship began to push away from the tower. I immediately slid forwards until my feet planted against the railing. My core muscles screamed and my feet pressed deep into the wood as I did everything in my power to lean back and make myself as rigid as possible.

Miles away, I could feel something giving away like ripping a tooth out of a dragon. It wriggled stubbornly inside of its housing, refusing to budge even to satisfy its own creator. Then everything went slack and a long crack ripped into the surface. Rocks exploded into the four winds while the tower began to teeter precariously to one side. It felt like even the wind would be enough to bring it all down.

Passion cackled beside me as he watched his work dying. The tower moved slightly, but then it suddenly affixed into place as though nothing had ever happened. I watched, slack-jawed as my efforts evaporated in front of my eyes.

“What the hell? Why did it stop?” I groaned in frustration.

“I stopped it.”

I flashed him a look of anger. Almighty being or not, I wasn’t about to be cheated.

“Don’t look at me with that stupid expression, beast, you’ve passed already. That’s where your body is,” Passion explained as he laughed in my face. He pointed at the tower that now appeared too unstable for comfort. “If you want to keep your gifts, you need to get back to the bottom before I rip this mother fucker down. Don’t worry, I’ll be nice and give you a moment to try.”

Passion snapped his fingers again and the sight of the sea was instantly replaced with the bloody room that we entered before the boss encounter. The bodies of the three demons we faced as well as the eviscerated body of the Messenger were piled with the rest.

It was a throne room; a monument to a king that never was ruling over an imaginary kingdom. A theme park for the damned to play around in and collect rewards. We hallucinated open fields and butchered ourselves on beautiful carpets because that was what we were meant to do. There was nothing else that we could do but play along unless you would rather dance to the tune of your fellow man. As long as it brought me some joy, I wouldn’t complain.

But, I didn’t have to think about any of that. I needed to get out of here before Passion’s thin patience snapped.

“You have returned to us, friend,” Herzblatt’s voice rose from behind me.

The dog priest and Yoshitsune were crouched low to the ground as though they had been closely inspecting every square inch of the floor for signs of me.

“Ishmael-san, you’re back,” Yoshitsune said with a relieved expression.

“We need to get out of here now,” I barked as I brushed Yoshitsune’s greeting aside. I sought out one of the gaps in the ground that led us here originally. I grabbed around her forearm and walked towards the nearest exit. “We don’t have much time.”

“What happened? Why are you doing this?” Yoshitsune demanded, resisting my pulling. “Herzblatt and I were each approached by a strange voice. Did you hear it too?”

“Yes, a terrible beast directly from the Book of Revelation visited me and tried to tempt me away from my path with the promise of power. I quoted scripture at it until it withered away, powerless,” Herzblatt explained with a tone soaked with pride. “Yoshitsune arrived soon after, but you took quite a while. Don’t worry, friend, in a moment, a portal will open up right here and we will walk out.”

“Wonderful, now shut up,” I snapped.

Passion’s moment of grace ended. The floor lurched to the side and my stomach moved with it. Bodies and furniture slid with the listing tower. Streaks of blood marked their path towards the wall and the throne crashed against the stones. Mournful groans of strained wood and the popping of snapping stones. Small streams of water from the pounding rain outside slipped through the gaps and flowed on the floor, mixing with the crimson stains.

“The Dungeon is collapsing.”