We stepped out to be met with the odor of a library after a flood. Stone tablets and fabrics and chairs were strewn about the room; bizarrely, all the debris was stuck to the ceiling. The frozen stone that pressed against my feet made me shiver involuntarily.

It was an ancient study destroyed by weather damage. At least, that’s what I would think if there were any windows that connect to the outside. Our only exit was a wooden door on the opposite end of the room.

I tensed up. It was too quiet for five other groups to have passed through here within the last couple minutes. Going by the confidence that the preceding groups had, I would have expected early violence to get rid of their closest rivals before they sprung up later to complicate their raids at more inopportune times.

“Relax, my friend,” Herzblatt cooed. “We are the only ones that will be placed in this room. There are no ambushes awaiting us until we delve deeper.”

I relaxed, not by the dog’s words alone, but also since I failed to see any indications of an attack. Also, nobody followed us in even though enough time had passed for the next group to be called. I wished that I had more time to read the dungeon’s information instead of skimming through.

“I don’t not detect anyone,” Yoshitsune agreed. However, she kept her blade unsheathed.

“We should get going then,” I remarked as I pulled open the wooden door to reveal a large room full of empty shelves.

Whatever the room’s original purpose had been was long since retired. All of the wealth that existed, outside of a few trinkets and shattered stone tablets, had been raided entirely. The people that once lived here had not for some time. Each of my footsteps gathered a large amount of dust against the soles of my feet.

“Was this a real place?” Yoshitsune wondered on my behalf. The blind demon was still strangely adept at dodging the loose clutter on the ground.

“Perhaps we bear witness to the Ancient Tower of Babel,” Herzblatt ventured as he wiped a finger absentmindedly on a shelf and inspected the dust. “It would make sense that fools that attempted to reach Heaven would be sent directly down to Hell.”

A small rumbling shook the floor. Either the entire tower was unstable or other groups were moving without us.

“Either way, we need to get moving,” I reiterated.

Another wooden door waited at the end of the room. A stairway that sharply wound down and to the right awaited us. I led the way, moving swiftly down the stairs as the intermittent rumbling continued below.

I felt the temperature suddenly drop around me as puffs of steam escaped my mouth and chilled my lungs. Specters with hands coated in clay floated above their ruined pottery while an armored spirit stood watch over the failed labor. Some attempted to reach down only for their limbs to phase helplessly through the shards.

My entrance instantly earned their attention. High pitched screech exited their mouths as they pointed at me with accusatory gnarled fingers; as though I was the reason for their downfall.

“Let me handle this.”

I felt a brush of fur slip past me as Herzblatt sprinted towards the spirits. A sword that glowed with a bright light slipped from a hidden space to drop into his hands. The weapon easily cleaved through the spirit’s incorporeal body and left them screaming as they turned into dust.

The rest of the spirits descended upon Herzblatt. His sword disappeared and turned into a spear that impaled the closest enemy through the neck. The spear evaporated as Herzblatt raised their arms over his head. A large double-sided axe filled the void in the dog’s grasp as he took a heavy cleave through two spirits. Before the swing finished, the heavy weapon was recalled to be replaced by a rapier that pierced the heart of another.

Finally, for the armored spirit, Herzblatt elected for a large hammer that they used to place massive dents into the spirit’s armor. Each blow sounded like the ringing of a loud gong. The armored spirit attempted to clumsily slash at the dog-man’s flesh with a sword only to find air. One final hammer swing to the head subdued the spirit and pacified the room.

“Done, let’s get a move on,” Herzblatt said with a serene smile. “Don’t worry, please leave all of these enemies to me.”

He must have felt that Yoshitsune and I were looking down on him. It wouldn’t surprise me that someone with such a personality would often be disregarded as weak.

That didn’t stop me from thinking that he had a few screws loose.

We continued on with Herzblatt at the lead. Kitchens, dining areas, sleeping quarters, stables, jail cells, and all other manner of rooms placed down without any logic passed us by. And, true to word, Herzblatt destroyed all the spirits that dwelled within with the same calm motions that he used the first time.

I was almost like he was piloted by a different entity while in combat. The focus and cold bloodlust that took over his eyes immediately returned to the same placid, nearly dopey look that existed at all other times.

“Who was your sensei for you to be able to use so many weapons so well,” Yoshitsune asked after Herzblatt cleared out yet another room without us needing to lift a finger. It was clear that she was awestruck as a warrior.

“I had no teacher,” Herzblatt tried to say humbly as Yoshitsune gave him an annoyed expression. “My main ability revolves around weapon mastery and having such a large arsenal. Without it, I would have no idea how to swing a sword. Forgive me if it seemed like I was spitting in the face of your hard work.”

“I’m surprised that you couldn’t have made some friends before we showed up,” I commented.

“For demons that still believe they are human, they often rely too heavily on appearances,” Herzblatt commented as though he greatly pitied those nameless demons that underestimated him. “But, isn’t it the right thing to do to forgive others for ignorance? Besides, I told you that I prayed for my allies.”

“Then, does that mean you are one of the people that descended to help out the people of Hell?” Yoshitsune asked curiously.

“Oh. No, of course not,” Herzblatt denied with a chuckle. “I’m not someone so great as to walk down from Heaven to save everyone else. My crime was that I simply chose the wrong teaching of God. Someone that I once believed was intelligent called out the Catholics and the Pope for their monopoly over the word of the Bible and Europe cracked irreparably over this difference. Since I did nothing else wrong in life but chose to scorn the Catholics in pursuit of my own interpretation, it tells me that it must have been that I chose incorrectly.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I had to stop myself from laughing in Herzblatt’s face just as the Follies had once done to me. I could understand if a Buddhist or a Muslim or an Atheist spoke those words. One who wholly ignored or actively scorned the concept of God should feel penitent in these moments. But a Protestant lamenting they weren’t a Catholic? The tenants of these branches of Christianity should all be the same. Was God truly so fickle that he cared so much about who the Holy Ghost actually was or whether or not you were baptized or in which form you said prayers?

Yoshitsune also came to an abrupt halt. A grimace crossed her lips as her head tilted downwards.

“It bothers me,” Yoshitsune stated to no one in particular.

“What is the matter?” I asked.

“You, Herzblatt, Kowal, Capitaine, the entire city of Brunswick, and, even before you, people that I met in the Bowels spoke of God and Heaven and Hell,” Yoshitsune replied bitterly. “But, I had never heard of these things, yet here I am, apparently judged by the standard of a deity that I would have had no chance of meeting in life. How is that fair?”

I couldn’t refute that it was pretty fucked up that Yoshitsune was held to the same standards as the rest of us. Like studying for a test only for it to be a secret subject or training for a job that nobody had ever heard of. I didn’t know to what standards that her people were held to, but I did know that she regretted her actions. That should be enough to justify her damnation.

“You must have incidentally been made aware of it at some point,” Herzblatt rationalized, still preferring to blame his temporary companion over his unerring creator even though the position of his beloved church has casted doubts on that unerring judgment. “But, don’t despair. The purpose of our savior Mikha’el is to rectify these damnations and save all who are worthy. If you are worthy, you will feel bliss again.”

Yoshitsune didn’t look convinced, but she seemed uncertain if she wanted to push further as if the answer would be more painful than not knowing.

“Would you have lived differently if you had known this was the result?” I asked.

“Wouldn’t we all?” Yoshitsune asked in response.

It was a question I obviously couldn’t answer considering I was exactly that person. No, it was easier to just bow my head and pretend that I was a compatriot.

“Let’s just pick up the pace,” I repeated again. “The longer that we stand around talking, the further our rivals get ahead of us. We can work through your religious crisis after we all get away with the rewards.”

“You’re right, Ishmael-san,” Yoshitsune said with a short bow and tossed away the topic entirely.

It didn’t take us long to find a new obstacle. The series of rooms and hallways terminated with a massive hole in the stone. I placed a hand on Yoshitsune's shoulder to prevent her from pummeting to her death. But, it seemed that it was ultimately unnecessary as the demon stopped on her own.

I looked down the gaping chasm to see layers upon layers of floors before reaching the bottom. Streams of water dribbled from below to spray upwards and form puddles several inches deep on the ceiling above.

“How nice, we found a shortcut,” I commented.

Yoshitsune kicked a large piece of loose stone over the edge and the rock immediately curved upwards to follow the law of gravity that we were not subject to. She looked at me with a disappointed expression.

“Is it really?” She questioned.

“Sure it is,” I reassured. “We can leap from floor to floor until we reach the bottom. How far is it? Ten feet?”

“Looks doable,” Herzblatt agreed as he took a couple steps back. “Besides, I have a feeling that we are running low on time to advance.”

With an amount of faith only reserved for a zealot like him, the dog leapt down to the floor below. He scrabbled on the floor below to regain his balance before leaping again. The floor shook with each heavy landing, but the structure remained sound.

“Well, it seems fine enough,” I commented as I took a few steps back myself.

“Wait,” Yoshitsune held out a hand to stop me. “I have a better idea.”

With a quick movement, red portals began to appear all over the floors and the walls. Yoshitsune leapt into one of the portals and disappeared entirely. I looked down the shaft to see if she would appear, but I only saw the shadow of the leaping dog.

“Are you coming or not?” Yoshitsune asked as her head poked out of one of the portals.

Without questioning further, I stepped into Yoshitsune’s portal. I felt weightless like an untethered astronaut in deep space. My body spun weightlessly and my head felt like it whirled in the other direction.

I felt Yoshitsune’s hand grab onto my as I was dragged through several portals. My eyes barely had time to recognize the off-kilter views of the halls as we descended further. The surprised face of Herzblatt came and went quickly; the dog demon’s tongue fully extended as he panted to cool off.

Finally, stillness reached me. The cool stone beneath me felt nice to touch and I could hear what sounded like a coursing river below me. I slowly rose back to my feet. Yoshitsune, apparently entirely unaffected by the interdimensional tumble, was looking up to see Herzblatt’s arrival while sipping on a blue potion.

“You should have mentioned that you had such a convenient trick,” Herzblatt chided with an unaffected smile.

“You left before I had the chance,” Yoshitsune replied coolly.

“I suppose that you’re right. I can only blame myself and my eagerness,” Herzblatt chuckled to himself before looking around this intersection of a spacious hallway. “Unless my eyes deceive me, there appears to be a light in that direction.”

I looked in the same direction as Herzblatt to see what appeared to be sunlight seeping into the hallway from outside. We followed the light in silent agreement. The closer we got, we heard voices echo in from the connecting room.

As we hesitated, I could hear the sounds of shouts and footsteps coming from the hallways behind us. Beneath me, I felt water dripping upwards from the floor to lick the bottoms of my feet. Stone cracked and more water began to dribble out.

“We must hurry! Now!” Herzblatt shouted as he practically shoved us forwards.

A geyser of water erupted from beneath us and soaked out bodies in cold, muddy water. The final hundred steps to reach the room felt like fighting a waterfall. Each step I took felt like I was about to be washed away. I widened myself to take the full brunt of the buffeting wave while my fellow demons pushed me from behind.

Fortunately, the journey to the room was not long and we pushed into the dry room, dripping wet like a bunch of drowned cats. Loud iron doors shut behind us and prevented the water from entering the room.

“Finally, the stragglers arrive,” a woman’s voice snidely cut into my ears. “If you had taken any longer, you would have drowned all of us.”

I looked up to see around nine or ten demons watching us with a great deal of bemusement. Unlike us, not a single drop of water could be seen on their bodies. The three doors had closed long ago.

There were no other doorways that showed potential exit. In the center of the concave floor sat a large disc of partially raised stone. Large drain holes dotted the ceiling, giving me a strong idea of what the condition for escape would be.

“Well, it was a pleasure,” a hulking demon with four buff arms and skin that looked like beetle armor said cordially to the other demons. “But only three of us are able to advance from here.”

“Don’t worry, in the future, I will be a kind superior,” a reptilian demon with colorful feathers replied.

Something wasn’t right. All their heads turned back towards us. I know that we were the last to arrive, but did we really look so fucking weak? As I ran through the possibilities, I noticed that only Yoshitsune was standing beside me.

“Herzblatt, what are you doing?” I asked sharply.

The dog demon sat in a meditative position. His eyes were clamped shut and deep, calming breathing rhythmically passed through his lungs. A small runic circle of white sigils appeared around him to bathe him in a soft glow.

“This is your job, friend,” Herzblatt replied resolutely. “I will not take the life of those that were born human. Especially not those that will be my compatriots in the future.”

“How wise, comrade,” a cat demon with a burning tail complimented. “I can tell that you are a subordinate that any leader would be proud to have.”

“And if they kill us all?” I demanded Herzblatt as our enemies pressed in on us.

“Then it was God’s will,” Herzblatt answered calmly.

I couldn’t believe I was dealing with a predestination nut. Was he sure that he had his ideas right this time? It didn’t matter. People like this were far too stubborn to reason with. It’d just be like arguing with a brick wall.

“Fuck it,” I spat. “Well, it’s not like I’m not used to being outnumbered by now.”